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(The Raw Story)   In today's "news that only SOUNDS like it came from a comic book": Scientists working for DARPA are working on a weather-controlling laser that can summon storms and lightning bolts on demand   (rawstory.com) divider line 36
    More: Interesting, DARPA, lightning, video on demands, Nature Photonics, lasers, scientists, cirrus clouds, troposphere  
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798 clicks; posted to Geek » on 21 Apr 2014 at 5:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-21 03:49:54 PM  
File footage of the project manager:

i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-21 03:55:44 PM  
It's ok as long as they don't fire it at KAAAAANEEEEEEDAAAAAA!!!
 
2014-04-21 04:01:40 PM  
How is this news? I thought it's been common knowledge for years that the government is working on weather machines of mass destruction and that so called "global warming" is just a cover up meant to conceal it from the public.

All of that data about the world getting warmer is obviously falsified, as could be observed by any moron with a snow shovel this past winter, but why are they making it up? It's to conceal the fact that the government is secretly using lasers to warm up the planet. See, it's the government causing it, and not a result of human activity at all, even if it were happening, which it isn't.
 
2014-04-21 04:22:22 PM  
Well fine, you were right this time....
img.fark.net
 
2014-04-21 04:25:54 PM  
Red Alert did it!
 
2014-04-21 04:26:52 PM  

gunslinger_RG: Well fine, you were right this time....
[img.fark.net image 552x750]


Except HAARP isn't a weather control device, it's an alien mind control ray interference generator.
 
2014-04-21 04:29:50 PM  

Codenamechaz: File footage of the project manager:

[i.imgur.com image 500x375]


Fire the Black Entertainment Television Broadcast Energy Transmitter! This I command!

/cobrala-la-la-la-la
 
2014-04-21 05:32:10 PM  
This will work fine with the earthquake machine.
 
2014-04-21 05:41:40 PM  

Codenamechaz: File footage of the project manager:

[i.imgur.com image 500x375]


img1.wikia.nocookie.net
Primary consultant.
 
2014-04-21 05:49:32 PM  
God, somebody watched "Batman and Robin" and thought "Hey, this sounds like a great idea!", didn't they?
 
2014-04-21 05:53:59 PM  
You know what happens when a toad gets struck by lightning?

The same thing that happens to everything else.
 
2014-04-21 05:54:12 PM  
The HAARP program is hardly a secret.  Neither are the signed and ratified UN resolutions against weather control.  Nobody would try to regulate it if it were all nonsense.  Cloud seeding is basic stuff, so is storm disruption.  (However, the latter needs explosives.  Large amounts.)

Drawing lightning has been done using simple hobbyist-level rockets trailing ultra-fine wires.  I don't see why a collimated beam might not be able to trigger a different but similar reaction.
 
2014-04-21 05:59:01 PM  
"DARPA is working on it" is really just code for "We've had an operational prototype for 10 years and we need to make some kind of announcement before we move to full-scale production."
 
2014-04-21 06:06:04 PM  

Codenamechaz: File footage of the project manager:

[i.imgur.com image 500x375]


Came here for this. Done in one.
 
2014-04-21 06:10:24 PM  
so, Storm-Cyclops slash fanfiction?
 
2014-04-21 06:15:48 PM  
We really shouldn't be screwing around with stuff like that.
 
2014-04-21 06:16:13 PM  
Tesla did it first.
 
2014-04-21 06:18:17 PM  

bighairyguy: We really shouldn't be screwing around with stuff like that.


Yes, we should, because it leads to a greater understanding of our universe.
 
2014-04-21 06:32:33 PM  
Any chance they can focus this effort on PMS?
 
2014-04-21 06:46:34 PM  

hammettman: Any chance they can focus this effort on PMS?


Why do you hate the Pennsylvania Meteorological Service?
 
2014-04-21 06:49:35 PM  
www.cheathappens.com

Neat. That means we're one step closer to my favorite UT weapon
 
2014-04-21 07:03:13 PM  

MylesHeartVodak: Drawing lightning has been done using simple hobbyist-level rockets trailing ultra-fine wires. I don't see why a collimated beam might not be able to trigger a different but similar reaction.


As someone who has had a few technical conversations with the people involved with this research, I can tell you that you're making an extremely relevant point.
 
2014-04-21 07:15:59 PM  

Codenamechaz: File footage of the project manager:

[i.imgur.com image 500x375]


A model of the planned device:

www.yojoe.com
 
2014-04-21 07:35:16 PM  
Star Destroyers have cloaking devices now. HAARP was only a prototype.
 
2014-04-21 09:23:28 PM  
I thought this was well known since Bush fired a hurricane at New Orleans.
 
2014-04-21 09:30:53 PM  
The fry-laser. Kill anyone, anywhere, anytime. Only politics has prevented us from zapping folks already.
 
2014-04-21 10:49:53 PM  
dl.dropboxusercontent.com
 
2014-04-21 11:25:52 PM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: "DARPA is working on it" is really just code for "We've had an operational prototype for 10 years and we need to make some kind of announcement before we move to full-scale production."


solidwize.com
 
2014-04-21 11:58:33 PM  

Codenamechaz: File footage of the project manager:

[i.imgur.com image 500x375]


Dang it- first thig that came into my mind!  Am I reduced to referencing the crappy Fiennes/Thurman/Connery 'Avengers' movie then?
 
2014-04-22 12:45:31 AM  
Localized weather control is a horrible idea.  You can't change the weather in one area without having it affect countless other areas.  If you make it rain somewhere it normally wouldn't, then that weather system now has less moisture as it moves on, meaning it won't rain somewhere else that it normally should, as well as all the downstream affects.

Damn people, this is basic science fiction!  Don't these scientists READ?
 
2014-04-22 03:01:11 AM  
Skyrmion:

MylesHeartVodak: Drawing lightning has been done using simple hobbyist-level rockets trailing ultra-fine wires. I don't see why a collimated beam might not be able to trigger a different but similar reaction.

As someone who has had a few technical conversations with the people involved with this research, I can tell you that you're making an extremely relevant point.


It's been done already, actually, although my late-night google-fu fails me at the moment.

I had a retired friend who had worked at one of the national labs and got to play with big lasers... One of his hobbies was hunting for fulgurites in the dunes near his house. So of course we started talking about ways to cultivate them... At first by setting up helium balloons with conductive anchors, but then we got into talking about using lasers to create the "leader" to get clouds to strike a known spot.

Now, I'm pretty sure he didn't have access anymore to the sort of things that would be required, and I don't think that the techniques required were really his expertise (other than generally knowing he worked with big honking lasers, friends don't ask friends for details about classified research) but it wouldn't surprise me if suddenly one day a lot more fulgurites showed up on the geology-geek market.
 
2014-04-22 03:36:13 AM  
www.radiotimes.com
/so when do we abolish all lawyers?
 
2014-04-22 03:37:43 AM  
Also, who in the fark would trust the fedgov, or anyone, for that matter, with controlling the weather?
 
2014-04-22 09:21:28 AM  

zumer69: Codenamechaz: File footage of the project manager:

[i.imgur.com image 500x375]

Came here for this. Done in one.


I play a solitaire game called "What's in post number one?" where I try to guess the image or quote that will be the Boobies in a Fark thread (excluding the Politics tab).

I won this time. I think I'm batting around .500 overall. It helps that I've seen The Blues Brothers, Super Troopers, Arrested Development and I visit Reddit often (aka the Fark time machine).
 
2014-04-22 11:40:00 AM  
img.fark.net
Already done by this guy......
 
2014-04-22 04:00:12 PM  

gozar_the_destroyer: Codenamechaz: File footage of the project manager:

[i.imgur.com image 500x375]

A model of the planned device:

[www.yojoe.com image 850x498]


Alrighty, time to hit the lights on this thread. No more to say.
 
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