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(UPI)   Weekend news: Jodi Arias sues over contracting Hep C while in prison. Monday news: Yeah, about that "lawsuit"...neither Jodi nor her lawyer have any idea what you're talking about   (upi.com) divider line 57
    More: Followup, Jodi Arias, weekend news, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, jail  
•       •       •

5537 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Apr 2014 at 10:08 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



57 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-21 08:46:01 AM  
Why are we still talking about this psycho?

37.media.tumblr.com

Oh, right.
 
2014-04-21 08:47:42 AM  
*stabs boyfriend*

Wait, was that a bad idea? Should I not have done that? Ok, well then I didn't.


*files lawsuit*

Wait, was that a bad idea? Should I not have done that? Ok, well then I didn't.
 
2014-04-21 09:17:24 AM  
Nancy Grace and Joe Arpaio are in good company with Hep C.
 
2014-04-21 09:37:00 AM  
Hold on let me turn my give a fark on.

Oops. Damn thing seems to be broken.
 
2014-04-21 10:17:24 AM  
Perhaps she got it from her enormous clitoris.
 
2014-04-21 10:20:06 AM  
You know what I'd risk a night with her.  A lady that will stab you in the shower will probably be a beast in the sack.


/I'll wait for you
 
2014-04-21 10:20:45 AM  
Ah a true philosophical dilemma, a woman who is decently attractive and will let you do anything you want to her in and out of the bedroom but will then most likely kill you.
 
2014-04-21 10:22:49 AM  

Sybarite: Why are we still talking about this psycho?

[37.media.tumblr.com image 316x421]

Oh, right.


TFA says her left boob was a bit leaky, but in that pic, the right one looks deflated.
 
2014-04-21 10:23:31 AM  

airsupport: Perhaps she got it from her enormous clitoris.


I guess that would make it a penis.

Vagina.
 
2014-04-21 10:26:51 AM  

ZM Punk: You know what I'd risk a night with her.  A lady that will stab you in the shower will probably be a beast in the sack.


/I'll wait for you


That's why you tie the living shiat out of her up.  Ring or ball gag too, to be safe.
 
2014-04-21 10:37:06 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-21 10:47:20 AM  

RoyHobbs22: Ah a true philosophical dilemma, a woman who is decently attractive and will let you do anything you want to her in and out of the bedroom but will then most likely kill you.


She would poke your eye out with her Clenis.
 
2014-04-21 10:47:27 AM  

RoyHobbs22: Ah a true philosophical dilemma, a woman who is decently attractive and will let you do anything you want to her in and out of the bedroom but will then most likely kill you.


I like this retirement plan.
 
2014-04-21 10:49:00 AM  
What if you put Gatorade and Cat Chow indoor formula into a blender? Turkey blaster, boom! Nutritionally complete enema! Never eat again!
 
2014-04-21 10:49:09 AM  
I'm done with the bear, now where is that the woman I'm suppose to wrestle?
 
2014-04-21 10:53:54 AM  

Sybarite: Why are we still talking about this psycho?

[37.media.tumblr.com image 316x421]

Oh, right.


holy crap she's pretty hot.  hep C scissor-off with pamela!
 
2014-04-21 11:05:49 AM  
Arias? Arias? Oh, yeah, MEAT CURTAINS! Now I remember.
 
2014-04-21 11:07:05 AM  
Yep... Now I'm convinced. Swap Arias for Nancy Grace! They're both evil, but if someone evil has to be on TV, at least let it be someone who isn't awful to look at or sounds like a shrill, demented, chicken-fried harpy.

Meanwhile, Grace can be in prison getting Hep C and getting herself some butch loving.

/Do you want to be repulsed? Just imagine Nancy Grace's orgasm face.
//Worse? Just imagine her vocal utterances.
 
2014-04-21 11:10:37 AM  

Nix Nightbird: Yep... Now I'm convinced. Swap Arias for Nancy Grace! They're both evil, but if someone evil has to be on TV, at least let it be someone who isn't awful to look at or sounds like a shrill, demented, chicken-fried harpy.

Meanwhile, Grace can be in prison getting Hep C and getting herself some butch loving.

/Do you want to be repulsed? Just imagine Nancy Grace's orgasm face.
//Worse? Just imagine her vocal utterances.


welp, there goes lunch.
 
2014-04-21 11:11:15 AM  

Nix Nightbird: Yep... Now I'm convinced. Swap Arias for Nancy Grace! They're both evil, but if someone evil has to be on TV, at least let it be someone who isn't awful to look at or sounds like a shrill, demented, chicken-fried harpy.

Meanwhile, Grace can be in prison getting Hep C and getting herself some butch loving.

/Do you want to be repulsed? Just imagine Nancy Grace's orgasm face.
//Worse? Just imagine her vocal utterances.


She calls her clitoris "tot mom".
 
2014-04-21 11:11:30 AM  

Nix Nightbird: Yep... Now I'm convinced. Swap Arias for Nancy Grace! They're both evil, but if someone evil has to be on TV, at least let it be someone who isn't awful to look at or sounds like a shrill, demented, chicken-fried harpy.

Meanwhile, Grace can be in prison getting Hep C and getting herself some butch loving.

/Do you want to be repulsed? Just imagine Nancy Grace's orgasm face.
//Worse? Just imagine her vocal utterances.


NSFW

 
2014-04-21 11:16:23 AM  

ransack.: What if you put Gatorade and Cat Chow indoor formula into a blender? Turkey blaster, boom! Nutritionally complete enema! Never eat again!


img.fark.net
 
2014-04-21 11:18:38 AM  
Crazy in bed.........Crazy in life

/Been there, no more for me thanks.
 
2014-04-21 11:33:33 AM  
I had just made mention of how the prosectution could possibly botch a case by overplaying their hand, in that SA trial thread.

This is another perfect example of exactly how that could happen.  They had her dead to rights.  It was an easy conviction.  But they tried to go for the highest charge imaginable, and the jury couldn't decide that that was correct beyond a reasonable doubt.  So now they have to run the whole damn thing over again.

It really baffles me how the prosecution could so easily botch such an obvious case.
 
2014-04-21 11:50:33 AM  
ts3.mm.bing.net
If she doesn't have it now I'm sure she soon will.
 
2014-04-21 11:52:37 AM  
She is not good-looking.
 
2014-04-21 11:54:38 AM  

Sybarite: Why are we still talking about this psycho?


Because we saw this. NSFW.
 
2014-04-21 11:55:07 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: RoyHobbs22: Ah a true philosophical dilemma, a woman who is decently attractive and will let you do anything you want to her in and out of the bedroom but will then most likely kill you.

She would poke your eye out with her Clenis.


Is it common knowledge that she has a clenis? Cuz this is the first I'm hearing of it.
 
2014-04-21 11:58:58 AM  

RoyHobbs22: Ah a true philosophical dilemma, a woman who is decently attractive and will let you do anything you want to her in and out of the bedroom but will then most likely kill you.


z.hubpages.com

That's why you go for this one instead. She won't kill you.

Keep her away from the kids though.
 
2014-04-21 11:59:50 AM  
I think I've seen this movie...

www.cinema-extreme.com
 
2014-04-21 12:03:22 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: I think I've seen this movie...

[www.cinema-extreme.com image 629x938]


Hmm . . .  added to queue
 
2014-04-21 12:07:52 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: I think I've seen this movie...

[www.cinema-extreme.com image 629x938]


Look how sharp those knees are, they're cutting right through her pants.
 
2014-04-21 12:10:23 PM  

RoyHobbs22: Ah a true philosophical dilemma, a woman who is decently attractive and will let you do anything you want to her in and out of the bedroom but will then most likely kill you.


Er...Decently attractive?


Lol.
 
2014-04-21 12:14:46 PM  

Lipspinach: FirstNationalBastard: RoyHobbs22: Ah a true philosophical dilemma, a woman who is decently attractive and will let you do anything you want to her in and out of the bedroom but will then most likely kill you.

She would poke your eye out with her Clenis.

Is it common knowledge that she has a clenis? Cuz this is the first I'm hearing of it.


I don't quite recall myself, but I do remember beef curtains that would be at home in an Arbys window.
 
2014-04-21 12:29:00 PM  
I'm not sure what it is about me, but Arby's girls make my curly fry straighten
 
2014-04-21 12:37:14 PM  

Usurper4: I'm not sure what it is about me, but Arby's girls make my curly fry straighten


i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-04-21 12:37:25 PM  
So, does this mean Nancy Grace is still a shreiking biotch?
 
2014-04-21 12:37:47 PM  

ransack.: What if you put Gatorade and Cat Chow indoor formula into a blender? Turkey blaster, boom! Nutritionally complete enema! Never eat again!


I am interested in your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

/the rare totally random shiat like this is a major reason I love fark.

/Science diet would probably be better for you than Cat Chow.
 
2014-04-21 12:41:53 PM  

RoyHobbs22: Ah a true philosophical dilemma, a woman who is decently attractive and will let you do anything you want to her in and out of the bedroom but will then most likely kill you.


So, what's the dilemma again?
 
2014-04-21 12:55:18 PM  
Re: Nancy Grace wardrope malfunction pic. Them is some uggggly ta-tas. Don't want.
 
2014-04-21 12:57:36 PM  

ransack.: Usurper4: I'm not sure what it is about me, but Arby's girls make my curly fry straighten

[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]


Oh my....

/not what I meant
//obviously
///my wife worked at Arby's
////haven't done multi slashy in a while
 
2014-04-21 01:16:26 PM  

Usurper4: I'm not sure what it is about me, but Arby's girls make my curly fry straighten


No shiat!

I would so buy a Girls of Arby's calendar, and a Girls of Panera Bread calendar.  In my area, both places are staffed by earnest, reasonably attractive, bubbly teen girls.

If I'm slumming, it's the Girls of Skyline calendar, all of whom look great in yoga pants but not so much in the face.
 
2014-04-21 01:17:49 PM  
Imagine waking up one morning to Nancy Grace, naked, face contorted in what you  think  might be pleasure and aggression, squatting mounted on top of you, riding you hard and grunting like a Georgia hog on goofballs, her giant, floppy, wrinkled mammaries flopping hard enough to make loud, wet slapping sounds against her not-insignificant belly... The stench of her lady-musk wafting toward you... And the first thing you think is, "Why am I hard? What the hell is happening? Oh God help me!"

When she sees you're awake, an evil, hungry grin crosses her face, like she'd just seen a plate full of pancakes made by a child-killer, and she shouts, "Oh, good! You're awake! Now we can 69!"

Without warning, she spins around and points her ample, dimpled, pockmarked ass in your direction. The smell reminds you of a sewer dumping into a sardine-filled ocean. As you struggle to get away, she holds you down and plops her derriere on your face. Your life passes before your eyes. You slip into unconsciousness, full of both panic and relief that you won't be awake for what follows.

When you awaken, you are covered in fluids of varying viscosity and odor. You feel like a half-eaten Chicago-style hot dog. The room is spinning. You're pretty sure that among the flavors in your mouth you can taste vomit.

Your nightmare isn't over, though. As you rise to seek the loving embrace of a hot shower with lots of soap, you notice a note on the nightstand. It says:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Thank you for the hot lovin'. I took the liberty of recording everything, and will be releasing my own "sex tape" to boost my ratings and confirm to everyone that I am a W-O-M-A-N. Look for it online within the next week or so. Be happy! In less than a week you'll be famous, known worldwide as the guy who had his tongue in Nancy Grace's anus.

Hope to see you again, lover.

Your big momma,
Nancy

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As the final words of the note wash over you, you contemplate suicide or exile from humanity. You wonder how likely it is you can get your friends and family to stop watching the news or going online. You realize, with cold certainty, that this is it. This is how you will be defined for the rest of your life. This, right now-- This covered-in goo, smelly, shredded version of yourself is how the world and all your loved ones will remember you. Your life flashes before your eyes. Something snaps, and you know in that moment that you have an option; You could also become the guy who kills that southern-fried harpy on national television.

You have a choice to make. You will make it in the next 4 hours as you sit in the shower alternating between scrubbing furiously and whimpering while curling up into a ball.
 
2014-04-21 01:20:06 PM  

Delta1212: *stabs boyfriend*

Wait, was that a bad idea? Should I not have done that? Ok, well then I didn't.


*files lawsuit*

Wait, was that a bad idea? Should I not have done that? Ok, well then I didn't.


I say! I do believe there's a pattern forming.

/N.S. Sherlock University class of 05
 
2014-04-21 01:31:33 PM  

Nix Nightbird: Imagine waking up one morning to Nancy Grace, naked


WHY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!
 
2014-04-21 01:34:48 PM  

Nix Nightbird: Imagine waking up one morning to Nancy Grace, naked, face contorted in what you  think  might be pleasure and aggression, squatting mounted on top of you, riding you hard and grunting like a Georgia hog on goofballs, her giant, floppy, wrinkled mammaries flopping hard enough to make loud, wet slapping sounds against her not-insignificant belly... The stench of her lady-musk wafting toward you... And the first thing you think is, "Why am I hard? What the hell is happening? Oh God help me!"

When she sees you're awake, an evil, hungry grin crosses her face, like she'd just seen a plate full of pancakes made by a child-killer, and she shouts, "Oh, good! You're awake! Now we can 69!"

Without warning, she spins around and points her ample, dimpled, pockmarked ass in your direction. The smell reminds you of a sewer dumping into a sardine-filled ocean. As you struggle to get away, she holds you down and plops her derriere on your face. Your life passes before your eyes. You slip into unconsciousness, full of both panic and relief that you won't be awake for what follows.

When you awaken, you are covered in fluids of varying viscosity and odor. You feel like a half-eaten Chicago-style hot dog. The room is spinning. You're pretty sure that among the flavors in your mouth you can taste vomit.

Your nightmare isn't over, though. As you rise to seek the loving embrace of a hot shower with lots of soap, you notice a note on the nightstand. It says:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Thank you for the hot lovin'. I took the liberty of recording everything, and will be releasing my own "sex tape" to boost my ratings and confirm to everyone that I am a W-O-M-A-N. Look for it online within the next week or so. Be happy! In less than a week you'll be famous, known worldwide as the guy who had his tongue in Nancy Grace's anus.

Hope to see you again, lover.

Your big momma,
Nancy
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As the final words of the note wash over you, you contempl ...


fap?
 
2014-04-21 01:39:20 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Nix Nightbird: Imagine waking up one morning to Nancy Grace, naked

WHY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-21 01:49:26 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Nix Nightbird: Imagine waking up one morning to Nancy Grace, naked

WHY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!


Sucking her titties would be like nursing from a floppy stick of pepperoni.
 
2014-04-21 01:56:01 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Sin_City_Superhero: Nix Nightbird: Imagine waking up one morning to Nancy Grace, naked

WHY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!

Sucking her titties would be like nursing from a floppy stick of pepperoni.


I hate today.
 
2014-04-21 01:57:55 PM  

wiwille: FirstNationalBastard: Sin_City_Superhero: Nix Nightbird: Imagine waking up one morning to Nancy Grace, naked

WHY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!

Sucking her titties would be like nursing from a floppy stick of pepperoni.

I hate today.


Just imagine whats living under those titties
 
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