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(CNN)   GOP wants to become the "iPhone party." So does that mean they'll take away your freedom and overcharge you while doing it?   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com) divider line 156
    More: Amusing, open platform, Lamar Alexander, House Majority Leader, weekly address, state ownership, Democrat Party, Eric Cantor, Dodd-Frank  
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1763 clicks; posted to Politics » on 20 Apr 2014 at 7:08 PM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



156 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-20 08:30:53 PM
Sounds like that one shiatdrunk businessman who sat down at our table to explain how awesome a cell phone you could swipe like a credit card was gonna be.

His presentation was not well received by us on any level, really.
 
2014-04-20 08:31:45 PM
GOPs idea of becoming more hip:

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-20 08:33:00 PM
In a call for free markets and open platforms, Alexander argued that government should be more like Apple, Inc. - working to give private citizens the means "to create a happier, safer, more prosperous life."

I suppose, if instead of giving you an iPad for $600, Apple charged $10,000 a year to buy itself some fighter jets they'll never use, and gave you not an iPad but some intrusive laws out of the Old Testament. And if you complain about the shiatty service, they'll call you a freeloader and a welfare queen.
 
2014-04-20 08:36:48 PM
It's official...even the interns have absolutely nothing to give them.  They're just making things up to get out the door and go home for the weekend.

We've got seven months until election.  You guys need to pull it together.
 
2014-04-20 08:38:18 PM
These GOPinheads DO know that Apple is the most UN-republican place on Earth, right?
 
2014-04-20 08:39:45 PM

Summoner101: GOPs idea of becoming more hip:

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 700x556]


Those look like gang signs. They should be picked up for interrogation.
 
2014-04-20 08:48:38 PM

LordJiro: Catsaregreen: dr_blasto: Hey, just when I thought the Republican Party couldn't possibly be more out of touch, they reach a new level. Congratulations, once again you've exceeded any expectations I held.

/You suck, please disband for the good of the planet

Yes, because countries with a one-party system are so awesome to live in.

Here's a wild idea: Get rid of the Republicans, and get a liberal party on the national stage. to balance out the center-right Democrats?


ROFL
BWahahahahahahahahahhaha

how about we go with 3 parties?
god/family/conservative/right party - aka GOP
centrists - aka DEMS
dirty stinky lefties - aka communist party

yup
we got those already
why do we need a "new" party for liberals ??
 
2014-04-20 09:07:02 PM
God damn it. Festering right now in some political operatives brain is a campaign commercial ridding on the "I'm a Mac/And I'm a PC" thing.
 
2014-04-20 09:09:27 PM

HawgWild: Wouldn't they want to be more like an Android phone? Freer market and all that.


^ This.
/Lamar Alexander so what else do you expect?
 
2014-04-20 09:10:27 PM

IlGreven: Catsaregreen: dr_blasto: Hey, just when I thought the Republican Party couldn't possibly be more out of touch, they reach a new level. Congratulations, once again you've exceeded any expectations I held.

/You suck, please disband for the good of the planet

Yes, because countries with a one-party system are so awesome to live in.

Hey! Maybe we can do this radical idea of voting for people instead of parties!

/Nah, never work. Only radicals like this guy Washington ever advocate against political parties...


And the republicans are against voting by iPhone, unless it's a white iPhone.
 
2014-04-20 09:12:50 PM

Zeb Hesselgresser: "Too often, Obamacare cancels the policy you want to keep and tells you what policy to buy, even if it costs more and restricts your choices of doctors and hospitals.


I can attest to that.

When I signed up for my new policy on the exchange, the guy from the government standing next to me didn't only tell me that previous plan that hadn't been cancelled had actually been "cancelled", and then put his hand on top of mine and moved my mouse to select the exact policy that he wanted me to have.
 
2014-04-20 09:13:48 PM
And they all have a white case...
 
2014-04-20 09:13:55 PM

thismomentinblackhistory: God damn it. Festering right now in some political operatives brain is a campaign commercial ridding on the "I'm a Mac/And I'm a PC" thing.


Even easier to parody than these.
 
2014-04-20 09:20:42 PM

MisterTweak: "Imagine your government as your iPhone."

That was the message from Sen. Lamar Alexander, R-Tennessee, in the GOP's weekly address Saturday.

In a call for free markets and open platforms, Alexander argued that government should be more like Apple, Inc. - working to give private citizens the means "to create a happier, safer, more prosperous life."

Not sure if best troll in world or accidentally telling truth.


so we all should ship our money overseas and avoid taxes. gotcha
 
2014-04-20 09:21:38 PM
This is about the same as a Republican candidate playing a popular song at a rally that's by a musician who would say hell no if permission had been sought.
 
2014-04-20 09:22:58 PM

HawgWild: Wouldn't they want to be more like an Android phone? Freer market and all that.


What has the GOP (and its corporate supporters) done in the last thirty years that makes you think they want a freer market?

I think the iPhone's walled garden is exactly the right analogy for the GOP. You'll buy what we tell you to buy, wherever we tell you to buy it, because nobody is allowed to compete.
 
2014-04-20 09:25:21 PM
vitamins are made by the Devil
 
2014-04-20 09:30:43 PM

kidgenius: When I signed up for my new policy on the exchange, the guy from the government standing next to me didn't only tell me that previous plan that hadn't been cancelled had actually been "cancelled", and then put his hand on top of mine and moved my mouse to select the exact policy that he wanted me to have.


Sounds like you are in one of the FEMA re-education camps. I'm curious, how are they?
 
2014-04-20 09:31:26 PM

HawgWild: Wouldn't they want to be more like an Android Samsung phone? Freer Fragmented market and all that.


FTFY
 
2014-04-20 09:36:27 PM

gas giant: Okay.. I'm sure Apple will be just THRILLED by this little endorsement.


Considering that the place where iphone are manufactured is a Republican paradise, I'm sure they are nodding their head in agreement. In fact I'm sure Apple would love to get rid of those pesky minimum wage laws that hamper their small business mentality at the Apple Stores.
 
2014-04-20 09:37:49 PM
Now that's a good troll.

You see, Democrats are like Captain Picard, and...
 
2014-04-20 09:38:36 PM

theorellior: kidgenius: When I signed up for my new policy on the exchange, the guy from the government standing next to me didn't only tell me that previous plan that hadn't been cancelled had actually been "cancelled", and then put his hand on top of mine and moved my mouse to select the exact policy that he wanted me to have.

Sounds like you are in one of the FEMA re-education camps. I'm curious, how are they?


It's tough going...

They put dijon mustard on everything and every salad has god damn arugula in it.
 
2014-04-20 09:40:55 PM
Lamar could never use an iPhone with those ham hands of his.
 
2014-04-20 09:43:01 PM
The only reason I haven't owned an iPhone is simply cost; I could afford one just fine, but a "meh" smartphone is perfectly suitable for me (currently using an S4).

So, I'm perfectly happy I'm not using something that would only remind me multiple times a day of crusty old GOPers flailing desperately to co-opt "hip" things to stay relevant.
 
2014-04-20 09:44:09 PM
I do not envy that young political strategist who had to explain to them what an iPhone is.
 
2014-04-20 09:48:46 PM

HawgWild: Wouldn't they want to be more like an Android phone? Freer market and all that.


Except the GOP actions recently have proven that they aren't really interested in a "free market".  This is half-because-it's-more-popular, half Freudian slip.
 
2014-04-20 09:54:06 PM

friday13: HawgWild: Wouldn't they want to be more like an Android phone? Freer market and all that.

Except the GOP actions recently have proven that they aren't really interested in a "free market".  This is half-because-it's-more-popular, half Freudian slip.


Free Markets are terrible for everyone but the monopolists.
 
2014-04-20 09:54:36 PM

The Name: I do not envy that young political strategist who had to explain to them what an iPhone is.


It was probably pretty easy by the time he got to the "here's the differences between an iPhone and an android" part.
After all, by that time he would have already covered such things as "Yes, they can now make phones that don't have to plug into a wall", "Yes, they make phone where you can push the numbers and not actually "dial", "No, you don't have to tell an operator what number you want to call anymore", and "Goddamn it Randy, put down the two tin cans connected by a string!  We went over that last week."
 
2014-04-20 09:56:19 PM
But... apps.

/Seriously stop calling everything an app
//It doesn't make you sound legitmate
 
2014-04-20 09:58:22 PM
Ooh! Ooh! Is there a web site I can go to to send them suggestions? Because I have a couple of choice ones.
 
2014-04-20 10:02:21 PM
The GOP could always do the radical thing and become the not-screwing-everyone-so-the-rich-can-get-richer party.

For some reason, the GOP thinks the path to success is finding a new and better way to polish their turd.
 
2014-04-20 10:10:44 PM
They want a 30% cut of everything that is sold? That sounds about right for them.
 
2014-04-20 10:19:41 PM
Then are pre-2008 Libertarians the flip phone party?
 
2014-04-20 10:23:16 PM
gamemoir.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-20 10:23:29 PM
Great_Milenko
HawgWild: Wouldn't they want to be more like an Android phone? Freer market and all that.
Considering the "freedom" you get with an android device is illusionary, I'd say they are the perfect analogy for the American oligarchy.


Can you explain more? You have me curious.
 
2014-04-20 10:30:30 PM

Befuddled: The GOP could always do the radical thing and become the not-screwing-everyone-so-the-rich-can-get-richer party.

For some reason, the GOP thinks the path to success is finding a new and better way to polish their turd.


there is no way in the universe that the GOP will change their positions.
They lose more votes than they gain. it is simple election math.
They currently dont have a single person in the party who can admit a mistake or a need to change something.
The best that they could do is try to regain the middle, but he middle want nothing to do with gay hating, women hating, poor hating, GOP
 
2014-04-20 10:33:27 PM

Befuddled: The GOP could always do the radical thing and become the not-screwing-everyone-so-the-rich-can-get-richer party.

For some reason, the GOP thinks the path to success is finding a new and better way to polish their turd.


You honestly expect a conservative party -- a party built around the idea that everything is fine and should remain that way -- should think of new ways out of that status quo?

Skarekrough: It's official...even the interns have absolutely nothing to give them.  They're just making things up to get out the door and go home for the weekend.

We've got seven months until election.  You guys need to pull it together.


No they shouldn't, and I doubt they can.  They know what they're going to do:  parrot the same shiat, pretend that nobody is recording their backwards bullshiat, and then pretend not to look shocked when they lose, promising that this time they'll actually get pure.  Rinse and repeat.

The only thing that changes with the Republicans is the ways they try to market their nonsense, and what out-of-date terms they'll use.
 
2014-04-20 10:34:00 PM
I submitted this story two days ago with this headline.

"Sen. Lamar Alexander wants the GOP to be "the iPhone party". Subby thought Obama already beat the GOP to that "
 
2014-04-20 10:35:07 PM
You know I have been wanting to jump ship to Microsoft phones for a while, have been waiting on SirusXM, Grindr, and Scruff. Scruff is there still waiting on the other 2...may have to jump ship sooner though due to this statement.
 
2014-04-20 10:36:23 PM

Karac: The Name: I do not envy that young political strategist who had to explain to them what an iPhone is.

It was probably pretty easy by the time he got to the "here's the differences between an iPhone and an android" part.
After all, by that time he would have already covered such things as "Yes, they can now make phones that don't have to plug into a wall", "Yes, they make phone where you can push the numbers and not actually "dial", "No, you don't have to tell an operator what number you want to call anymore", and "Goddamn it Randy, put down the two tin cans connected by a string!  We went over that last week."


"But is the cord long enough to reach the kitchen? What about the bathroom?"
 
2014-04-20 10:49:04 PM
I have often made the comparison between Republicans and iPhone users.

Simple
Wasteful
Dogmatic
Unimaginative
Like rape
 
2014-04-20 10:52:22 PM
www.sunnewsnetwork.ca

There's an app for that!
 
2014-04-20 11:03:05 PM
I always love it when the GOP tries to go after younger voters because of how comically patronizing it always turns out to be. The Democrats are better able to fake interest for whatever reason. The GOP going after younger voters reminds me of those parents who try to act cool by talking in the lingo that the kids these days are talking.
 
2014-04-20 11:05:19 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-20 11:16:45 PM
The party that fights to return to the 1950s socially and the early 1900s economically wants to be the party of the most sophisticated handheld tech in generations?

Pardon me while I guffaw.

The GOP is the rotary phone party.
 
2014-04-20 11:28:28 PM
www.digitaltrends.com

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
 
2014-04-20 11:29:00 PM

Enemabag Jones: Then are pre-2008 Libertarians the flip phone party?


CB radio.

gas giant: Okay.. I'm sure Apple will be just THRILLED by this little endorsement.


Rush Limbaugh has been a gushing Apple fanboi for decades.  I would guess they're happy to sell their wares to customers of any political inclination, as long as their brand doesn't get dragged into the muck.  "MacBook Air - the official laptop of the KKK!"
 
2014-04-20 11:32:06 PM

skykid: I submitted this story two days ago with this headline.

"Sen. Lamar Alexander wants the GOP to be "the iPhone party". Subby thought Obama already beat the GOP to that "


Your headline is almost literally true.

The Obama campaign was talking about "iPod government" back in 2008.  Same concept, different device.

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/Vote2008/story?id=4853427
 
2014-04-20 11:34:42 PM
Steve Jobs nor Tim Cook want to be in anybody's bedroom or vagina, Senator.

And I'm pretty sure that if the Apple board needed to vote on something 50 times, they would get the hint on whether something is going to stay.
 
2014-04-21 12:31:26 AM

LessO2: Steve Jobs nor Tim Cook want to be in anybody's bedroom or vagina, Senator.

And I'm pretty sure that if the Apple board needed to vote on something 50 times, they would get the hint on whether something is going to stay.


LOL
 
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