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(CNN)   GOP wants to become the "iPhone party." So does that mean they'll take away your freedom and overcharge you while doing it?   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, open platform, Lamar Alexander, House Majority Leader, weekly address, state ownership, Democrat Party, Eric Cantor, Dodd-Frank  
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1800 clicks; posted to Politics » on 20 Apr 2014 at 7:08 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



156 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-20 01:30:47 PM  
"Imagine your government as your iPhone."

That was the message from Sen. Lamar Alexander, R-Tennessee, in the GOP's weekly address Saturday.

In a call for free markets and open platforms, Alexander argued that government should be more like Apple, Inc. - working to give private citizens the means "to create a happier, safer, more prosperous life."


Not sure if best troll in world or accidentally telling truth.
 
2014-04-20 01:35:26 PM  
They will map out the future of America.
 
2014-04-20 01:42:05 PM  
Wouldn't they want to be more like an Android phone? Freer market and all that.
 
2014-04-20 01:52:01 PM  
i595.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-20 02:16:47 PM  
I'd say that's more of an AT&T thing, subby.
 
2014-04-20 02:19:36 PM  
Why would the GOP want douchebags like Subby spreading lies about them?
 
2014-04-20 02:19:48 PM  
I remember how well this worked out with iRaq:

AMERICANS: "Siri:  search for sensible pragmatic policy positions"
GOPSIRI- "Searching for portable dramatic fantasy munitions- 1 result found"
 
2014-04-20 02:56:59 PM  
Hey, just when I thought the Republican Party couldn't possibly be more out of touch, they reach a new level. Congratulations, once again you've exceeded any expectations I held.

/You suck, please disband for the good of the planet
 
2014-04-20 06:09:30 PM  
I just got a new iPhone 5. Now i feel dirty.
 
2014-04-20 06:15:59 PM  
The iPhone is a series of tubes!
 
2014-04-20 06:22:54 PM  
I was wondering why my new iPhone is always pulling up alternate definitions of rape and buzzing really hard when I talk to gay people or women.

Thanks for the warnings, iPhone!
 
2014-04-20 06:31:51 PM  
They want people to sleep on the streets in search of overpriced disappointment?
 
2014-04-20 06:50:30 PM  
media.tumblr.com

What an iPhone Party might look like.

/yeah, I know
 
2014-04-20 07:13:11 PM  
He's quite the "hep cat."

i2.cdn.turner.com
 
2014-04-20 07:15:03 PM  
So they want Americans to blindly buy what the GOP is selling and that all those who actually work hard to create the GOP are held in slave like conditions where suicide is the only way out.
 
2014-04-20 07:16:20 PM  
Sorry Lamar, the Democrats have the market covered on douche-ster.
 
2014-04-20 07:19:31 PM  
Well whatever the GOP is up to, it is always evil.
 
2014-04-20 07:22:34 PM  

grokca: They will map out the future of America.


cache.itsagadget.com

Looks clear!
 
2014-04-20 07:24:42 PM  
Too bad being conservative means not being allowed to "think different"

"This was what people thought in the late 1700s! You have to believe this forever!"
 
2014-04-20 07:25:15 PM  
Daaad, nobody says "groovy" anymore.

/stop trying to be cool
//a walled garden designed and built for people with too much money
 
2014-04-20 07:28:28 PM  
Thankless slave labor in factory conditions that drive people to suicide? Sounds about right.
 
2014-04-20 07:29:11 PM  

dr_blasto: Hey, just when I thought the Republican Party couldn't possibly be more out of touch, they reach a new level. Congratulations, once again you've exceeded any expectations I held.

/You suck, please disband for the good of the planet


Yes, because countries with a one-party system are so awesome to live in.
 
2014-04-20 07:30:30 PM  
Covered in cameras that don't have lens caps? Sounds about right.

/Also, I'm sure Apple is thrilled about having its brand tied to Republicans
 
2014-04-20 07:31:57 PM  

Catsaregreen: dr_blasto: Hey, just when I thought the Republican Party couldn't possibly be more out of touch, they reach a new level. Congratulations, once again you've exceeded any expectations I held.

/You suck, please disband for the good of the planet

Yes, because countries with a one-party system are so awesome to live in.


Hey! Maybe we can do this radical idea of voting for people instead of parties!

/Nah, never work. Only radicals like this guy Washington ever advocate against political parties...
 
2014-04-20 07:32:02 PM  

fusillade762: grokca: They will map out the future of America.

[cache.itsagadget.com image 600x449]

Looks clear!


Holy shat, get over it! Version 1 of a product wasn't perfect!

It works nice now, and has taken a big chunk out of Google's search.
 
2014-04-20 07:32:23 PM  
So they think that by repackaging the same old ideas with the term i-phone they will sound cool and appeal to the young generation.  And the appeal made by someone who wouldn't know an i-phone from an eyeball.
 
2014-04-20 07:32:40 PM  
With well-known free thinkers and style mavens like the Koch brothers on board, good luck with that. But I guess some people confuse "rent-seeking behavior" with "paradigm-breaking innovation".
 
2014-04-20 07:36:28 PM  
yet again, nothing at all wrong w/ their policies or actual legislative actions - just find the right marketing and messaging.

yes, they really, truly believe you are this stupid.
 
2014-04-20 07:40:08 PM  
Just imagine the Internal Revenue code, the Food and Drug Administration or the Labor Department enabling you rather than ordering you around," Alexander said.Healthcare is the biggest divergence, according to Alexander, who slammed Obamacare for "mandating" too much."Too often, Obamacare cancels the policy you want to keep and tells you what policy to buy, even if it costs more and restricts your choices of doctors and hospitals. Republicans believe that freedom and more choices will empower you to find a policy that fits your needs and your budget," he said.
 
2014-04-20 07:40:08 PM  
They thought this was the iPhone:

cnet3.cbsistatic.com
 
2014-04-20 07:41:06 PM  
All in all, a laser-like focus on Steve Jobs.
 
2014-04-20 07:41:40 PM  
I see it.

Constantly trying to reinvent itself while making very few changes.  The iPhone and Republican Party.
 
2014-04-20 07:42:40 PM  
FTA: "In a call for free markets and open platforms, Alexander argued that government should be more like Apple, Inc. - working to give private citizens the means "to create a happier, safer, more prosperous life."

umm... those words...
 
2014-04-20 07:44:00 PM  
Apple is probably pissed.
 
2014-04-20 07:45:21 PM  
Pretty edgy for 2005
 
2014-04-20 07:46:20 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: Pretty edgy for 2005


And by 2005 I clearly meant 2007
 
2014-04-20 07:47:14 PM  
In a call for free markets and open platforms, Alexander argued that government should be more like Apple, Inc.


Know how I can tell the GOP doesn't understand Apple?
 
2014-04-20 07:48:09 PM  

Catsaregreen: dr_blasto: Hey, just when I thought the Republican Party couldn't possibly be more out of touch, they reach a new level. Congratulations, once again you've exceeded any expectations I held.

/You suck, please disband for the good of the planet

Yes, because countries with a one-party system are so awesome to live in.


Haha. That's better than anything the republicans have to offer. Democratic Party fractures soon after, providing a home for the center right, center left and so on.
 
2014-04-20 07:50:42 PM  
So the analogy is we have a two-operating system system: Apple & Android?
 
2014-04-20 07:52:41 PM  

Zeb Hesselgresser: Too often, Obamacare cancels the policy you want to keep and tells you what policy to buy, even if it costs more and restricts your choices of doctors and hospitals.


Smells like bullshiat to me.
 
2014-04-20 07:54:37 PM  

unyon: I remember how well this worked out with iRaq:

AMERICANS: "Siri:  search for sensible pragmatic policy positions"
GOPSIRI- "Searching for portable dramatic fantasy munitions- 1 result found"


Life is imitating a MadTV sketch?

i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-04-20 08:05:25 PM  

theorellior: Zeb Hesselgresser: Too often, Obamacare cancels the policy you want to keep and tells you what policy to buy, even if it costs more and restricts your choices of doctors and hospitals.

Smells like bullshiat to me.


A Republican lying about the ACA? This is my shocked face:

islandnotes.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-20 08:07:30 PM  

HawgWild: Wouldn't they want to be more like an Android phone? Freer market and all that.


Considering the "freedom" you get with an android device is illusionary, I'd say they are the perfect analogy for the American oligarchy.
 
2014-04-20 08:12:03 PM  
Okay.. I'm sure Apple will be just THRILLED by this little endorsement.
 
2014-04-20 08:15:29 PM  

runwiz: So they think that by repackaging the same old ideas with the term i-phone they will sound cool and appeal to the young generation.  And the appeal made by someone who wouldn't know an i-phone from an eyeball.


Hy! We are the iGOP!
 
2014-04-20 08:16:20 PM  

Catsaregreen: dr_blasto: Hey, just when I thought the Republican Party couldn't possibly be more out of touch, they reach a new level. Congratulations, once again you've exceeded any expectations I held.

/You suck, please disband for the good of the planet

Yes, because countries with a one-party system are so awesome to live in.


Who says the second party has to be Republicans?

It's a little sad that these days I'm seeing this line pop up more and more. It's as if the only rationalization for the Republican's existence is that there must be opposition. But opposition does not have to be idiotic and malevolent.
 
2014-04-20 08:20:36 PM  

Catsaregreen: dr_blasto: Hey, just when I thought the Republican Party couldn't possibly be more out of touch, they reach a new level. Congratulations, once again you've exceeded any expectations I held.

/You suck, please disband for the good of the planet

Yes, because countries with a one-party system are so awesome to live in.


Here's a wild idea: Get rid of the Republicans, and get a liberal party on the national stage. to balance out the center-right Democrats?
 
2014-04-20 08:20:42 PM  

Lord_Baull: In a call for free markets and open platforms, Alexander argued that government should be more like Apple, Inc.


Know how I can tell the GOP doesn't understand Apple?


See, Apple is popular, that means they're all freedom and America and stuff.
 
2014-04-20 08:27:12 PM  

HawgWild: Wouldn't they want to be more like an Android phone? Freer market and all that.


Not to mention much more fiscally responsible.
 
2014-04-20 08:30:38 PM  

Catsaregreen: dr_blasto: Hey, just when I thought the Republican Party couldn't possibly be more out of touch, they reach a new level. Congratulations, once again you've exceeded any expectations I held.

/You suck, please disband for the good of the planet

Yes, because countries with a one-party system are so awesome to live in.


The GOP marginalizes itself by going further and further right until it collapses.

The Democrats consolidate more market share by assimilating the few Republicans who didn't go guano-psychotic, like Olympia Snowe and... that's about it.

A genuine left-wing party emerges as more and more Americans discover that the US should be more like Denmark (equal education and healthcare for all) and less like Mexico (all power and money in a few hands, low taxes on the rich, meager social services for most).
 
2014-04-20 08:30:53 PM  
Sounds like that one shiatdrunk businessman who sat down at our table to explain how awesome a cell phone you could swipe like a credit card was gonna be.

His presentation was not well received by us on any level, really.
 
2014-04-20 08:31:45 PM  
GOPs idea of becoming more hip:

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-20 08:33:00 PM  
In a call for free markets and open platforms, Alexander argued that government should be more like Apple, Inc. - working to give private citizens the means "to create a happier, safer, more prosperous life."

I suppose, if instead of giving you an iPad for $600, Apple charged $10,000 a year to buy itself some fighter jets they'll never use, and gave you not an iPad but some intrusive laws out of the Old Testament. And if you complain about the shiatty service, they'll call you a freeloader and a welfare queen.
 
2014-04-20 08:36:48 PM  
It's official...even the interns have absolutely nothing to give them.  They're just making things up to get out the door and go home for the weekend.

We've got seven months until election.  You guys need to pull it together.
 
2014-04-20 08:38:18 PM  
These GOPinheads DO know that Apple is the most UN-republican place on Earth, right?
 
2014-04-20 08:39:45 PM  

Summoner101: GOPs idea of becoming more hip:

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 700x556]


Those look like gang signs. They should be picked up for interrogation.
 
2014-04-20 08:48:38 PM  

LordJiro: Catsaregreen: dr_blasto: Hey, just when I thought the Republican Party couldn't possibly be more out of touch, they reach a new level. Congratulations, once again you've exceeded any expectations I held.

/You suck, please disband for the good of the planet

Yes, because countries with a one-party system are so awesome to live in.

Here's a wild idea: Get rid of the Republicans, and get a liberal party on the national stage. to balance out the center-right Democrats?


ROFL
BWahahahahahahahahahhaha

how about we go with 3 parties?
god/family/conservative/right party - aka GOP
centrists - aka DEMS
dirty stinky lefties - aka communist party

yup
we got those already
why do we need a "new" party for liberals ??
 
2014-04-20 09:07:02 PM  
God damn it. Festering right now in some political operatives brain is a campaign commercial ridding on the "I'm a Mac/And I'm a PC" thing.
 
2014-04-20 09:09:27 PM  

HawgWild: Wouldn't they want to be more like an Android phone? Freer market and all that.


^ This.
/Lamar Alexander so what else do you expect?
 
2014-04-20 09:10:27 PM  

IlGreven: Catsaregreen: dr_blasto: Hey, just when I thought the Republican Party couldn't possibly be more out of touch, they reach a new level. Congratulations, once again you've exceeded any expectations I held.

/You suck, please disband for the good of the planet

Yes, because countries with a one-party system are so awesome to live in.

Hey! Maybe we can do this radical idea of voting for people instead of parties!

/Nah, never work. Only radicals like this guy Washington ever advocate against political parties...


And the republicans are against voting by iPhone, unless it's a white iPhone.
 
2014-04-20 09:12:50 PM  

Zeb Hesselgresser: "Too often, Obamacare cancels the policy you want to keep and tells you what policy to buy, even if it costs more and restricts your choices of doctors and hospitals.


I can attest to that.

When I signed up for my new policy on the exchange, the guy from the government standing next to me didn't only tell me that previous plan that hadn't been cancelled had actually been "cancelled", and then put his hand on top of mine and moved my mouse to select the exact policy that he wanted me to have.
 
2014-04-20 09:13:48 PM  
And they all have a white case...
 
2014-04-20 09:13:55 PM  

thismomentinblackhistory: God damn it. Festering right now in some political operatives brain is a campaign commercial ridding on the "I'm a Mac/And I'm a PC" thing.


Even easier to parody than these.
 
2014-04-20 09:20:42 PM  

MisterTweak: "Imagine your government as your iPhone."

That was the message from Sen. Lamar Alexander, R-Tennessee, in the GOP's weekly address Saturday.

In a call for free markets and open platforms, Alexander argued that government should be more like Apple, Inc. - working to give private citizens the means "to create a happier, safer, more prosperous life."

Not sure if best troll in world or accidentally telling truth.


so we all should ship our money overseas and avoid taxes. gotcha
 
2014-04-20 09:21:38 PM  
This is about the same as a Republican candidate playing a popular song at a rally that's by a musician who would say hell no if permission had been sought.
 
2014-04-20 09:22:58 PM  

HawgWild: Wouldn't they want to be more like an Android phone? Freer market and all that.


What has the GOP (and its corporate supporters) done in the last thirty years that makes you think they want a freer market?

I think the iPhone's walled garden is exactly the right analogy for the GOP. You'll buy what we tell you to buy, wherever we tell you to buy it, because nobody is allowed to compete.
 
2014-04-20 09:25:21 PM  
vitamins are made by the Devil
 
2014-04-20 09:30:43 PM  

kidgenius: When I signed up for my new policy on the exchange, the guy from the government standing next to me didn't only tell me that previous plan that hadn't been cancelled had actually been "cancelled", and then put his hand on top of mine and moved my mouse to select the exact policy that he wanted me to have.


Sounds like you are in one of the FEMA re-education camps. I'm curious, how are they?
 
2014-04-20 09:31:26 PM  

HawgWild: Wouldn't they want to be more like an Android Samsung phone? Freer Fragmented market and all that.


FTFY
 
2014-04-20 09:36:27 PM  

gas giant: Okay.. I'm sure Apple will be just THRILLED by this little endorsement.


Considering that the place where iphone are manufactured is a Republican paradise, I'm sure they are nodding their head in agreement. In fact I'm sure Apple would love to get rid of those pesky minimum wage laws that hamper their small business mentality at the Apple Stores.
 
2014-04-20 09:37:49 PM  
Now that's a good troll.

You see, Democrats are like Captain Picard, and...
 
2014-04-20 09:38:36 PM  

theorellior: kidgenius: When I signed up for my new policy on the exchange, the guy from the government standing next to me didn't only tell me that previous plan that hadn't been cancelled had actually been "cancelled", and then put his hand on top of mine and moved my mouse to select the exact policy that he wanted me to have.

Sounds like you are in one of the FEMA re-education camps. I'm curious, how are they?


It's tough going...

They put dijon mustard on everything and every salad has god damn arugula in it.
 
2014-04-20 09:40:55 PM  
Lamar could never use an iPhone with those ham hands of his.
 
2014-04-20 09:43:01 PM  
The only reason I haven't owned an iPhone is simply cost; I could afford one just fine, but a "meh" smartphone is perfectly suitable for me (currently using an S4).

So, I'm perfectly happy I'm not using something that would only remind me multiple times a day of crusty old GOPers flailing desperately to co-opt "hip" things to stay relevant.
 
2014-04-20 09:44:09 PM  
I do not envy that young political strategist who had to explain to them what an iPhone is.
 
2014-04-20 09:48:46 PM  

HawgWild: Wouldn't they want to be more like an Android phone? Freer market and all that.


Except the GOP actions recently have proven that they aren't really interested in a "free market".  This is half-because-it's-more-popular, half Freudian slip.
 
2014-04-20 09:54:06 PM  

friday13: HawgWild: Wouldn't they want to be more like an Android phone? Freer market and all that.

Except the GOP actions recently have proven that they aren't really interested in a "free market".  This is half-because-it's-more-popular, half Freudian slip.


Free Markets are terrible for everyone but the monopolists.
 
2014-04-20 09:54:36 PM  

The Name: I do not envy that young political strategist who had to explain to them what an iPhone is.


It was probably pretty easy by the time he got to the "here's the differences between an iPhone and an android" part.
After all, by that time he would have already covered such things as "Yes, they can now make phones that don't have to plug into a wall", "Yes, they make phone where you can push the numbers and not actually "dial", "No, you don't have to tell an operator what number you want to call anymore", and "Goddamn it Randy, put down the two tin cans connected by a string!  We went over that last week."
 
2014-04-20 09:56:19 PM  
But... apps.

/Seriously stop calling everything an app
//It doesn't make you sound legitmate
 
2014-04-20 09:58:22 PM  
Ooh! Ooh! Is there a web site I can go to to send them suggestions? Because I have a couple of choice ones.
 
2014-04-20 10:02:21 PM  
The GOP could always do the radical thing and become the not-screwing-everyone-so-the-rich-can-get-richer party.

For some reason, the GOP thinks the path to success is finding a new and better way to polish their turd.
 
2014-04-20 10:10:44 PM  
They want a 30% cut of everything that is sold? That sounds about right for them.
 
2014-04-20 10:19:41 PM  
Then are pre-2008 Libertarians the flip phone party?
 
2014-04-20 10:23:16 PM  
gamemoir.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-20 10:23:29 PM  
Great_Milenko
HawgWild: Wouldn't they want to be more like an Android phone? Freer market and all that.
Considering the "freedom" you get with an android device is illusionary, I'd say they are the perfect analogy for the American oligarchy.


Can you explain more? You have me curious.
 
2014-04-20 10:30:30 PM  

Befuddled: The GOP could always do the radical thing and become the not-screwing-everyone-so-the-rich-can-get-richer party.

For some reason, the GOP thinks the path to success is finding a new and better way to polish their turd.


there is no way in the universe that the GOP will change their positions.
They lose more votes than they gain. it is simple election math.
They currently dont have a single person in the party who can admit a mistake or a need to change something.
The best that they could do is try to regain the middle, but he middle want nothing to do with gay hating, women hating, poor hating, GOP
 
2014-04-20 10:33:27 PM  

Befuddled: The GOP could always do the radical thing and become the not-screwing-everyone-so-the-rich-can-get-richer party.

For some reason, the GOP thinks the path to success is finding a new and better way to polish their turd.


You honestly expect a conservative party -- a party built around the idea that everything is fine and should remain that way -- should think of new ways out of that status quo?

Skarekrough: It's official...even the interns have absolutely nothing to give them.  They're just making things up to get out the door and go home for the weekend.

We've got seven months until election.  You guys need to pull it together.


No they shouldn't, and I doubt they can.  They know what they're going to do:  parrot the same shiat, pretend that nobody is recording their backwards bullshiat, and then pretend not to look shocked when they lose, promising that this time they'll actually get pure.  Rinse and repeat.

The only thing that changes with the Republicans is the ways they try to market their nonsense, and what out-of-date terms they'll use.
 
2014-04-20 10:34:00 PM  
I submitted this story two days ago with this headline.

"Sen. Lamar Alexander wants the GOP to be "the iPhone party". Subby thought Obama already beat the GOP to that "
 
2014-04-20 10:35:07 PM  
You know I have been wanting to jump ship to Microsoft phones for a while, have been waiting on SirusXM, Grindr, and Scruff. Scruff is there still waiting on the other 2...may have to jump ship sooner though due to this statement.
 
2014-04-20 10:36:23 PM  

Karac: The Name: I do not envy that young political strategist who had to explain to them what an iPhone is.

It was probably pretty easy by the time he got to the "here's the differences between an iPhone and an android" part.
After all, by that time he would have already covered such things as "Yes, they can now make phones that don't have to plug into a wall", "Yes, they make phone where you can push the numbers and not actually "dial", "No, you don't have to tell an operator what number you want to call anymore", and "Goddamn it Randy, put down the two tin cans connected by a string!  We went over that last week."


"But is the cord long enough to reach the kitchen? What about the bathroom?"
 
2014-04-20 10:49:04 PM  
I have often made the comparison between Republicans and iPhone users.

Simple
Wasteful
Dogmatic
Unimaginative
Like rape
 
2014-04-20 10:52:22 PM  
www.sunnewsnetwork.ca

There's an app for that!
 
2014-04-20 11:03:05 PM  
I always love it when the GOP tries to go after younger voters because of how comically patronizing it always turns out to be. The Democrats are better able to fake interest for whatever reason. The GOP going after younger voters reminds me of those parents who try to act cool by talking in the lingo that the kids these days are talking.
 
2014-04-20 11:05:19 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-20 11:16:45 PM  
The party that fights to return to the 1950s socially and the early 1900s economically wants to be the party of the most sophisticated handheld tech in generations?

Pardon me while I guffaw.

The GOP is the rotary phone party.
 
2014-04-20 11:28:28 PM  
www.digitaltrends.com

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
 
2014-04-20 11:29:00 PM  

Enemabag Jones: Then are pre-2008 Libertarians the flip phone party?


CB radio.

gas giant: Okay.. I'm sure Apple will be just THRILLED by this little endorsement.


Rush Limbaugh has been a gushing Apple fanboi for decades.  I would guess they're happy to sell their wares to customers of any political inclination, as long as their brand doesn't get dragged into the muck.  "MacBook Air - the official laptop of the KKK!"
 
2014-04-20 11:32:06 PM  

skykid: I submitted this story two days ago with this headline.

"Sen. Lamar Alexander wants the GOP to be "the iPhone party". Subby thought Obama already beat the GOP to that "


Your headline is almost literally true.

The Obama campaign was talking about "iPod government" back in 2008.  Same concept, different device.

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/Vote2008/story?id=4853427
 
2014-04-20 11:34:42 PM  
Steve Jobs nor Tim Cook want to be in anybody's bedroom or vagina, Senator.

And I'm pretty sure that if the Apple board needed to vote on something 50 times, they would get the hint on whether something is going to stay.
 
2014-04-21 12:31:26 AM  

LessO2: Steve Jobs nor Tim Cook want to be in anybody's bedroom or vagina, Senator.

And I'm pretty sure that if the Apple board needed to vote on something 50 times, they would get the hint on whether something is going to stay.


LOL
 
2014-04-21 12:36:29 AM  
Oh, good, the GOP's "model US company" is one that is most famous for:

1. Outsourcing
2. Using slave labor
3. Literally poisoning workers to death and providing no medical care (not even first aid)
4. Having conditions so bad that the company installed netting around the building to deal with all the suicide-jumpers

Yeah... good luck selling us that as an ideal standard, buddy.
 
2014-04-21 12:39:55 AM  

one of Ripley's Bad Guys: FTA: "In a call for free markets and open platforms, Alexander argued that government should be more like Apple, Inc. - working to give private citizens the means "to create a happier, safer, more prosperous life."

umm... those words...


Politicians love word salad.
 
2014-04-21 12:50:01 AM  

Jim_Callahan: Oh, good, the GOP's "model US company" is one that is most famous for:

1. Outsourcing
2. Using slave labor
3. Literally poisoning workers to death and providing no medical care (not even first aid)
4. Having conditions so bad that the company installed netting around the building to deal with all the suicide-jumpers

Yeah... good luck selling us that as an ideal standard, buddy.


Wait... who's imitating who in that scenario?
 
2014-04-21 12:53:45 AM  
LAMAR!
 
2014-04-21 01:00:47 AM  
I wouldn't vote for the iPhone Party. Manipulative pricks think they can convince us with catch-phrases and shiny comparisons....

Now, if they were the Pivoting Head Ultra Extreme Vibrating Aloe Strip Razor Party, they'd have me.
 
2014-04-21 01:03:29 AM  
What the hell am I reading?

/on my iPhone
 
2014-04-21 01:06:31 AM  

DrBenway: Jim_Callahan: Oh, good, the GOP's "model US company" is one that is most famous for:

1. Outsourcing
2. Using slave labor
3. Literally poisoning workers to death and providing no medical care (not even first aid)
4. Having conditions so bad that the company installed netting around the building to deal with all the suicide-jumpers

Yeah... good luck selling us that as an ideal standard, buddy.

Wait... who's imitating who in that scenario?


I will admit, American Fruit did it first.  So it does fit with the GOP's "nuke the economy back to the gilded age" theme.  I'm just saying that this isn't the most subtle/tricky example they could have picked to conceal that from the voters, since even low-info voters frequently know about Foxconn (not by name but as "that time Apple used slave labor and killed a bunch of employees").

// Well, technically the industrial British Empire did it first, but American Fruit is the archetype in US history terms.
 
2014-04-21 01:07:17 AM  
Heh. Even happier with my brand new S4 now.
 
2014-04-21 01:08:04 AM  
what i'm hearing is wouldn't it be great if our government was providing us real time data on you as it's main focus.

really classy GOP
 
2014-04-21 01:14:48 AM  
This has been part of the standard campaign manual consultants use for several years now. When Karen Handel (of Susan G. Komen vs Planned Parenthood fame) was running for governor of Georgia, her emails were tagged with 'Sent from my iphone'. Someone bothered to look at the email headers and discovered the emails were coming from a Windows machine using Outlook. They were manually adding the iphone signature to try to make her look hip. Hopefully now when the marketing intern is sending out the email written by a campaign consultant in the candidate's name, they either use an actual iphone or spoof the header.
 
2014-04-21 01:27:13 AM  
media.salon.com

Keep farking that chicken.
 
2014-04-21 01:28:35 AM  

EngineerAU: This has been part of the standard campaign manual consultants use for several years now. When Karen Handel (of Susan G. Komen vs Planned Parenthood fame) was running for governor of Georgia, her emails were tagged with 'Sent from my iphone'. Someone bothered to look at the email headers and discovered the emails were coming from a Windows machine using Outlook. They were manually adding the iphone signature to try to make her look hip. Hopefully now when the marketing intern is sending out the email written by a campaign consultant in the candidate's name, they either use an actual iphone or spoof the header.


Like I said before, the GOP is comically patronizing.
 
2014-04-21 02:04:07 AM  

Lackofname: The party that fights to return to the 1950s socially and the early 1900s economically wants to be the party of the most sophisticated handheld tech in generations?

Pardon me while I guffaw.

The GOP is the rotary phone party.


Rotary phone is giving them credit.  They are the party of Lily Tomlin being the operator.
 
2014-04-21 02:27:07 AM  

Mrtraveler01: I always love it when the GOP tries to go after younger voters because of how comically patronizing it always turns out to be. The Democrats are better able to fake interest for whatever reason. The GOP going after younger voters reminds me of those parents who try to act cool by talking in the lingo that the kids these days are talking.


And they really think they aren't.  They're so entrenched in their culture of projection and deflection that they honestly think that "The Liberals" are just faking it too, that no one in their right mind would actually think or act or do anything "not Republican" unless they were being fooled, cajoled, and seduced into it by profit-and-power seeking tricksters.  They can't admit they stand for nothing but greed, so they choose to believe no one else stands for anything.

Side note: I know someone who works at an Apple store now, and the stories of the number of old people who come in and cannot thumb-type, HATE the new technology, hate the mobile devices.
 
2014-04-21 02:52:07 AM  
Does the GOP have anyone in their employ under the age of 104?
 
2014-04-21 02:54:16 AM  

Summoner101: GOPs idea of becoming more hip:


That flash has gold fringe on it, therefore maritime admiralty birthday cake argle-bargle.
 
2014-04-21 02:57:29 AM  
Once again, the GOP knows nothing about technology. They complain about too much regulation, but everyone (else) knows that you MUST DO EVERYTHING THE APPLE WAY. No choice. No freedom. That's why Android users are worth1/4 of an iPhone user. Iphone users pay four times as much for apps and such as Android users.

/Galaxy Note 3 here.
 
2014-04-21 02:59:36 AM  
"Republicans want to enable and empower you. We want to be the iPhone party."

Enable and empower.. the opposite of what Republicans have done for decades.
 
2014-04-21 03:27:39 AM  
ReaganPhones?
 
2014-04-21 03:29:38 AM  
If the GOP switches over to iPhones, I'll go back to a rotary-dial landline just to stay as far away from them as possible.
 
2014-04-21 03:42:34 AM  
*runs around in a circle screaming because of the b*tching about Obamaphones and now they wanna try this stupid pseudo trendy bullshiat*

*inadvertently goes awry from sheer pisseroo-disorientation, phases through N-space, and slams headfirst into the White House bathroom door nearest the Oval Office for the 863rd time*


In Washington DC, it is 3 AM. A phone rings.


/closer to 4 AM but artistic license, y'all
 
2014-04-21 04:30:40 AM  
The iPhone...so...the party of old people?  Way to play against type, GOP.
 
2014-04-21 04:44:08 AM  
images.dailytech.com

iPhones are assembled in factories with conditions so bad, they need Suicide Nets.

Of course the GOP see this as America's future.  Just keep telling you unions are bad, and the rich need a tax break.
 
2014-04-21 05:02:22 AM  

Alphax: "Republicans want to enable and empower you. We want to be the iPhone party."

Enable and empower.. the opposite of what Republicans have done for decades.


You just have to realize, Republicans have something a little different in mind when they mean "empower."

img.fark.net
 
2014-04-21 05:30:24 AM  

Fuggin Bizzy: Does the GOP have anyone in their employ under the age of 104?


This is the chairman of The Young Republicans.

i.ytimg.com
 
2014-04-21 05:39:49 AM  
WHY?

WHY DOES THAT FACE NOT SURPRISE ME
 
2014-04-21 05:43:52 AM  

medic2731: Lackofname: The party that fights to return to the 1950s socially and the early 1900s economically wants to be the party of the most sophisticated handheld tech in generations?

Pardon me while I guffaw.

The GOP is the rotary phone party.

Rotary phone is giving them credit.  They are the party of Lily Tomlin being the operator.


Two cans and a piece of string party.
 
2014-04-21 05:45:19 AM  

NeverDrunk23: medic2731: Lackofname: The party that fights to return to the 1950s socially and the early 1900s economically wants to be the party of the most sophisticated handheld tech in generations?

Pardon me while I guffaw.

The GOP is the rotary phone party.

Rotary phone is giving them credit.  They are the party of Lily Tomlin being the operator.

Two cans and a piece of string party.


smoke signals, cause fark the environment!
 
2014-04-21 06:19:25 AM  
FTFA: In a call for free markets and open platforms, Alexander argued that government should be more like Apple, Inc. - working to give private citizens the means "to create a happier, safer, more prosperous life."

Of course this is Republican speak for cutting funding for public schools, gutting public infrastructure, denying access to healthcare, and eliminating food assistance for anyone facing hard times; or people struggling to make ends meet on the poverty wages paid by the "job creators". Apparently kicking a person when they are down is defined as "opportunity" to the GOP.

FTFA: He also pointed to legislation proposed by Republicans as examples of the "iPhone government," including pushing for more school vouchers and giving states more control of their Medicaid programs.

Yep, exactly what I said it meant. When you think about it, this is a very inefficient use of funds. It prevents the pooling funds and increasing the buying power of public schools and the Medicaid system; making them have to create redundant services as well as purchase equipment/supplies at a premium rather than wholesale prices.

FTFA: Alexander referenced the Dodd-Frank law as a Democrat counter-example, saying it makes "community bankers spend more time filling out forms than... making loans." The sweeping financial reform bill was signed into law in 2010 and meant to strengthen consumer protection, rein in complex financial products, and head off future bank bailouts; critics call it more harmful red tape.

Of course these laws were put in place because loans were way too easy to get. Companies like Taylor, Bean & Whitaker were able to take multiple loans/mortgages out on properties then sell the loans to larger banks/financial entities like Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and Colonial Bank. Taylor, Bean & Whitaker even created a second company which would package these fraudulent loans into mortgage backed securities which they also sold. All of this was enabled by lack of paper work required due to lax regulations.

The popular Republican talking point for the financial collapse was that stupid people bought mortgages they couldn't afford, quit paying. went into default, and brought the banking sector down. That the poor bankers were the victim of the evil government making them loan money to people who aren't independently wealthy. The truth is many people who lost their homes were dutifully paying their mortgage, it's just they had no idea their lender had multiple mortgages & loans backed by the property taken out and/or outright sold the property multiple times. It was easier to foreclose than to weed out who owned what and who paid what.

Here is a summary of what happened: Link

It seems Republicans feel that this time, unlike the previous financial collapses, we can trust the financial sector to "regulate" themselves. This might work in a fantasy land of rainbows and unicorns where everyone is honest, but in truth they are empowering those who which to commit fraud.
 
2014-04-21 06:23:22 AM  
This might work in a fantasy land of rainbows and unicorns where everyone is honest, but in truth they are empowering those who which want to commit fraud.

FTFM
 
2014-04-21 06:23:25 AM  

12349876: I see it.

Constantly trying to reinvent itself while making very few changes.  The iPhone and Republican Party.


clap.gif


Great_Milenko: Considering the "freedom" you get with an android device is illusionary


How is that, exactly?
 
2014-04-21 06:32:37 AM  
In a call for free markets and open platforms, Alexander argued that government should be more like Apple, Inc.

img.4plebs.org

BWAAAAAAHAHAAHAHAHA!!
 
2014-04-21 06:39:53 AM  
i61.tinypic.com
 
2014-04-21 06:47:25 AM  

Kittypie070: WHY?

WHY DOES THAT FACE NOT SURPRISE ME


It's not at all unusual for the leadership of a Young Whatever group to not actually be that young, organizing things at a national level is something of a full-time job, not something the baseline members (undergrads and high-school students) really have time for.

The president of the Young Democrats of America is in her mid-30s too, and while their page doesn't list birthdates or anything one committeeman's blurb mentions participating in a senate campaign in 1988.  Even if he was just a tween handing out leaflets or something that still puts him in his 40s now.
 
2014-04-21 07:19:42 AM  
Wow they were right!

It wasn't their message but how they were presenting it... It's all so clear now, they just want to empower us by giving tax breaks to corporations and the top 1% while killing anything that even remotely helps the average person.... I think I'm going to go switch parties now.

On a more serious and sad note is the way they keep tring to expand their parties political tent to include younger people without understanding that their "welcome to the party" committee essentially tells the few that do join, that they aren't conservative enough and to get the hell out... But still please vote republican potato.
 
2014-04-21 07:36:52 AM  

MisterTweak: Alexander argued that government should be more like Apple, Inc. - working to give private citizens the means "to create a happier, safer, more prosperous life."


We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all persons are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Security, and the Pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted above Men, deriving their powers just from the consent of the job creators.

/I love how he accidentally subverts "we the people" into "you the people and us the government"
//And abandons liberty for security
///Those are the things I love.
 
2014-04-21 07:42:47 AM  

Jim_Callahan: Kittypie070: WHY?

WHY DOES THAT FACE NOT SURPRISE ME

It's not at all unusual for the leadership of a Young Whatever group to not actually be that young, organizing things at a national level is something of a full-time job, not something the baseline members (undergrads and high-school students) really have time for.

The president of the Young Democrats of America is in her mid-30s too, and while their page doesn't list birthdates or anything one committeeman's blurb mentions participating in a senate campaign in 1988.  Even if he was just a tween handing out leaflets or something that still puts him in his 40s now.


Yeah good point there, and I shoulda thought of that aspect. Thanks.

It's just that....the GOP faces are all starting to look like soft, flabby unbaked blobs and NOT because they are white folks.

I just get this dreadful urge to either sock em or motorboat their cheeks.

And mind you I ain't no paragon in the looks department myself. I got the under-eye thing going like DeForest Kelly and I can do a pretty convincing Eddie Olmos Glare.
 
2014-04-21 07:56:31 AM  
Kittypie070,
But it is the context...
 
2014-04-21 07:57:48 AM  

Flying Lasagna Monster: [media.salon.com image 750x500]

Keep farking that chicken.


who's that girl?
 
2014-04-21 08:29:36 AM  

Jim_Callahan: It's not at all unusual for the leadership of a Young Whatever group to not actually be that young, organizing things at a national level is something of a full-time job, not something the baseline members (undergrads and high-school students) really have time for.


And, frankly, not something they would likely be competent for.  Not like you're going to give a 20 year old a multimillion dollar budget and a few dozen employees.
 
2014-04-21 08:37:04 AM  
Which one wants a following of brainwashed techno-serfs?

Trick question, both...
Seriously,  Apple hates it when users understand what is going on,  Republicans hate it when you understand what is going on.   Apple doesn't want you tampering with the machinery, Republicans don't want you tampering with the machinery.  Apple will blame users for their failure, Republicans will blame voters for their failure.  The big difference is style; Apple has it.
 
2014-04-21 09:17:51 AM  

Alphax: "Republicans want to enable and empower you. We want to be the iPhone party."

Enable and empower.. the opposite of what Republicans have done for decades.


Also the opposite of what Apple does, so it fits.
 
2014-04-21 09:18:05 AM  
I swear the people in charge at the GOP seem like the TRIX Rabbit.

GOPTard1: I know, kids like iPhones! We'll be the iPhone party!
GOPTard2: Brilliant!
 
2014-04-21 09:23:23 AM  

HeartBurnKid: Alphax: "Republicans want to enable and empower you. We want to be the iPhone party."

Enable and empower.. the opposite of what Republicans have done for decades.

Also the opposite of what Apple does, so it fits.


Not sure if serious..
 
2014-04-21 09:55:18 AM  

snowshovel: gas giant: Okay.. I'm sure Apple will be just THRILLED by this little endorsement.

Considering that the place where iphone are manufactured is a Republican paradise, I'm sure they are nodding their head in agreement. In fact I'm sure Apple would love to get rid of those pesky minimum wage laws that hamper their small business mentality at the Apple Stores.


You clearly don't know anything about Apple retail stores or manufacturing.  Hey, but don't let that stop you from pulling stuff out of your ass.
 
2014-04-21 11:14:41 AM  

Kittypie070: WHY?

WHY DOES THAT FACE NOT SURPRISE ME


Punch magnet.
 
2014-04-21 11:32:25 AM  
The GOP's idea of youth outreach:

somewhereboy.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-21 12:11:00 PM  

physt: snowshovel: gas giant: Okay.. I'm sure Apple will be just THRILLED by this little endorsement.

Considering that the place where iphone are manufactured is a Republican paradise, I'm sure they are nodding their head in agreement. In fact I'm sure Apple would love to get rid of those pesky minimum wage laws that hamper their small business mentality at the Apple Stores.

You clearly don't know anything about Apple retail stores or manufacturing.  Hey, but don't let that stop you from pulling stuff out of your ass.


Apple's factories installed anti-suicide nets.
www.secretsofthefed.com
 
2014-04-21 12:36:23 PM  

dweigert: Kittypie070,
But it is the context...


Quizzical Cat is Quizzical.
 
2014-04-21 01:01:02 PM  

Skarekrough: It's official...even the interns have absolutely nothing to give them.  They're just making things up to get out the door and go home for the weekend.

We've got seven months until election.  You guys need to pull it together.


Their interns are probably college republicans. You can't expect much creativity or "hipness" out of them. If they had those things, they wouldn't be college republicans.
 
2014-04-21 01:15:48 PM  

SpectroBoy: physt: snowshovel: gas giant: Okay.. I'm sure Apple will be just THRILLED by this little endorsement.

Considering that the place where iphone are manufactured is a Republican paradise, I'm sure they are nodding their head in agreement. In fact I'm sure Apple would love to get rid of those pesky minimum wage laws that hamper their small business mentality at the Apple Stores.

You clearly don't know anything about Apple retail stores or manufacturing.  Hey, but don't let that stop you from pulling stuff out of your ass.

Apple's factories installed anti-suicide nets.
[www.secretsofthefed.com image 850x545]


FoxConn manufactures for all the major computer companies.  How is that an Apple problem more than HP or Microsoft?
 
2014-04-21 02:33:44 PM  

physt: SpectroBoy: physt: snowshovel: gas giant: Okay.. I'm sure Apple will be just THRILLED by this little endorsement.

Considering that the place where iphone are manufactured is a Republican paradise, I'm sure they are nodding their head in agreement. In fact I'm sure Apple would love to get rid of those pesky minimum wage laws that hamper their small business mentality at the Apple Stores.

You clearly don't know anything about Apple retail stores or manufacturing.  Hey, but don't let that stop you from pulling stuff out of your ass.

Apple's factories installed anti-suicide nets.
[www.secretsofthefed.com image 850x545]

FoxConn manufactures for all the major computer companies.  How is that an Apple problem more than HP or Microsoft?


Didn't say it was. But _somebody_ was defending Apple as if they were above this sort of thing, and they are not.
 
2014-04-21 02:34:45 PM  

SpectroBoy: Didn't say it was. But _somebody_ was defending Apple as if they were above this sort of thing, and they are not.


Who?
 
2014-04-21 02:42:08 PM  

Alphax: SpectroBoy: Didn't say it was. But _somebody_ was defending Apple as if they were above this sort of thing, and they are not.

Who?


THIS GUY!

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-21 04:59:01 PM  

Bith Set Me Up: The GOP's idea of youth outreach:

[somewhereboy.files.wordpress.com image 720x576]


My high school chums and I find Sen. Alexander's idea quite corking.
 
2014-04-22 07:28:09 AM  

Alphax: SpectroBoy: Didn't say it was. But _somebody_ was defending Apple as if they were above this sort of thing, and they are not.

Who?


Well,

physt, for one.
 Alphax: HeartBurnKid: Alphax: "Republicans want to enable and empower you. We want to be the iPhone party."

Enable and empower.. the opposite of what Republicans have done for decades.

Also the opposite of what Apple does, so it fits.

Not sure if serious..



Absolutely serious.  If you own an Apple product, you do things the Apple way, or you don't do them at all.  To be fair, the Apple way is often fairly well-designed and easy to understand, but there are certain things that Apple simply will not allow you to do, period.  And that, to me, is the opposite of empowerment.
 
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