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(NJ.com)   OK, I returned your dog and TV -- can we have a second date?   (nj.com) divider line 22
    More: Followup, woman told, dogs  
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3783 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Apr 2014 at 1:18 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



22 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2014-04-20 01:21:19 PM  
You couldn't fit four thousand dollars in a yorkie why the hell is it worth that much?
 
2014-04-20 01:22:15 PM  
Some lyrics I wrote for that old recorder favourite, "Early One Morning":

Early one morning
Just as the Sun was rising
I spied my true love
Running away

Why did you leave me?
Trick and deceive me?
Run off with my TV
At the break of day?


Another Brantgoose Top Hit
 
2014-04-20 01:26:17 PM  
Coooo-STAN-za!
 
2014-04-20 01:26:31 PM  
$4,000 for a Yorkie?  Here's a couple of protips for this internet dating victim: go with rescue dogs in the future (you can even get a Yorkie); and don't let guys you just met on the internet know where you live.
 
2014-04-20 01:28:30 PM  
Dog, TV...where are the guns?
 
2014-04-20 01:37:11 PM  
should have stolen some sheets for the bed.
 
2014-04-20 01:38:50 PM  
$7000 for that mutt and a flat screen?

She must have thought her insurance company was an ATM.
 
2014-04-20 01:50:50 PM  
Fake.
 
2014-04-20 01:53:33 PM  
I'm a hetero dude and therefore a horrible judge of male attractiveness, so I have to ask -- there's a few women who think that the 'never smile for any reason whatsoever and never take off your ball cap' look is actually appealing??
 
2014-04-20 02:01:58 PM  
Who the fark has a $4000 dog?  I got my dog for free. Free goddamn dog - best deal in the world. And nobody's going to steal him, because nobody else wants to pay for his epilepsy medicine. And I guarantee you my free, theft-proof dog is a hundred times cooler than that freakish little muppet.
 
2014-04-20 02:18:58 PM  

Bonobo62: Who the fark has a $4000 dog?  I got my dog for free. Free goddamn dog - best deal in the world. And nobody's going to steal him, because nobody else wants to pay for his epilepsy medicine. And I guarantee you my free, theft-proof dog is a hundred times cooler than that freakish little muppet.


FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS
Song For Epileptic Dogs Lyrics

Think about the epileptic dogs.
Not all the puppies are born so lucky.
Somewhere there's a Golden Retriever.
Who's having a seizure.
Somewhere there's a pup seizing up.
And there's a labrador.
Who's shaking on the floor.
Think about the epileptic dogs.
Send us some money.
To stop these dogs from acting funny.
Send a check in the letter.
And make a setter feel better.
Come on and make a donation.
To save a shaking dalmation.

THIS IS THE REMIX!
Epi-lep-ep-epileptic!
Epi-lep-ep-epileptic!
Ep-epi-lep-ep-epileptic!
Ep-epi-lep-ep-epileptic!
Epi-lep-ep-epilectic
 
2014-04-20 02:45:59 PM  
Girls love a project they think they can change.
 
2014-04-20 02:47:14 PM  

phaseolus: I'm a hetero dude and therefore a horrible judge of male attractiveness, so I have to ask -- there's a few women who think that the 'never smile for any reason whatsoever and never take off your ball cap' look is actually appealing??


What do you suggest the balding with methmouth do?
 
2014-04-20 03:05:50 PM  

NoahFenze: Bonobo62: Who the fark has a $4000 dog?  I got my dog for free. Free goddamn dog - best deal in the world. And nobody's going to steal him, because nobody else wants to pay for his epilepsy medicine. And I guarantee you my free, theft-proof dog is a hundred times cooler than that freakish little muppet.

FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS
Song For Epileptic Dogs Lyrics

Think about the epileptic dogs.
Not all the puppies are born so lucky.
Somewhere there's a Golden Retriever.
Who's having a seizure.
Somewhere there's a pup seizing up.
And there's a labrador.
Who's shaking on the floor.
Think about the epileptic dogs.
Send us some money.
To stop these dogs from acting funny.
Send a check in the letter.
And make a setter feel better.
Come on and make a donation.
To save a shaking dalmation.

THIS IS THE REMIX!
Epi-lep-ep-epileptic!
Epi-lep-ep-epileptic!
Ep-epi-lep-ep-epileptic!
Ep-epi-lep-ep-epileptic!
Epi-lep-ep-epilectic


How the hell did I miss that? I need to watch that show.
(with my dog in the other room, in case it has a lot of flashing lights)
 
2014-04-20 03:10:08 PM  

Bonobo62: NoahFenze: Bonobo62: Who the fark has a $4000 dog?  I got my dog for free. Free goddamn dog - best deal in the world. And nobody's going to steal him, because nobody else wants to pay for his epilepsy medicine. And I guarantee you my free, theft-proof dog is a hundred times cooler than that freakish little muppet.

FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS
Song For Epileptic Dogs Lyrics

Think about the epileptic dogs.
Not all the puppies are born so lucky.
Somewhere there's a Golden Retriever.
Who's having a seizure.
Somewhere there's a pup seizing up.
And there's a labrador.
Who's shaking on the floor.
Think about the epileptic dogs.
Send us some money.
To stop these dogs from acting funny.
Send a check in the letter.
And make a setter feel better.
Come on and make a donation.
To save a shaking dalmation.

THIS IS THE REMIX!
Epi-lep-ep-epileptic!
Epi-lep-ep-epileptic!
Ep-epi-lep-ep-epileptic!
Ep-epi-lep-ep-epileptic!
Epi-lep-ep-epilectic

How the hell did I miss that? I need to watch that show.
(with my dog in the other room, in case it has a lot of flashing lights)


Ha! It's a good show.. and that's a funny episode.
 
2014-04-20 03:22:42 PM  
"While the man was at her house, the woman became occupied in another room, leaving him alone for a period of time, police said. When she returned, he was gone, along with her dog and her television, police said."

I see so many fails with this story.

First, what sane woman invites a man to her house, not knowing his last name, after having met on an online dating site, for their first meeting?

Second, why is she leaving this essential stranger alone "for a period of time" long enough for him to determine the value of the dog and the tv and to take off with them?

Third, this woman was clearly a slut getting ready in the bathroom for the hot seks, but turned out she invited in a thief instead of a horny dude.

/I bet she "met" him on craigslist
 
2014-04-20 03:47:01 PM  
"I'll get your TV, my pretty...AND YOUR LITTLE DOG, TOO!"
 
2014-04-20 07:45:05 PM  

Prey4reign: $4,000 for a Yorkie?  Here's a couple of protips for this internet dating victim: go with rescue dogs in the future (you can even get a Yorkie); and don't let guys you just met on the internet know where you live.


My rescue dog is worth a hell of a lot more than $4000, not that I could put a price on him.  But if I did, it would be more than $4,000.
 
2014-04-20 09:32:16 PM  
Cahhhh-Stanza

img.fark.net
 
2014-04-21 12:20:26 AM  
It's these subtle things guys do that make them so endearing.
 
2014-04-21 07:33:40 AM  
and her television was worth $3,000

Lady, you got ripped off, twice.
 
2014-04-21 09:12:37 AM  

dok9874: this woman was clearly a slut getting ready in the bathroom for the hot seks,


Or just an emergency deuce...but yeah. that phrasing seemed to scream "in the bathroom, but too awkward to say that."
 
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