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(Fox 17 Nashville)   So, how much do you tip the drunken guy who just mowed your lawn without permission?   (fox17.com) divider line 71
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4611 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Apr 2014 at 10:33 AM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-20 04:01:51 AM
90 degrees, biatch!
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-04-20 07:42:05 AM
7.62 millimeters
 
2014-04-20 07:48:07 AM
If he did a good enough job, I'd give him the whole shaft.
 
2014-04-20 08:35:42 AM
I can't really say I'd ever call the cops on someone for mowing my yard without permission.  I might go talk to him and ask him to mow his way back home, but that's about it.
 
2014-04-20 08:42:41 AM

Relatively Obscure: I can't really say I'd ever call the cops on someone for mowing my yard without permission.  I might go talk to him and ask him to mow his way back home, but that's about it.


As long as he stays out of the flower beds, have fun.
 
2014-04-20 08:56:22 AM
When it happened to us? Dad gave him a beer.  Mom was pissed.

\my neighbor is (was? Haven't seen him in a while) a landscaper who's a drunk
 
2014-04-20 09:04:20 AM
076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com
You don't mow another man's lawn!!!
 
2014-04-20 10:34:51 AM
Just toss a PBR can at him. If he's drunk he won't care what brand it is.

Oh! Or you could make it a game: Leave a trail of cheap beer to someone else's lawn, with a lawnmower already gassed up and ready to go and see if he does it again!
 
2014-04-20 10:35:20 AM
Is this a euphemism for oral sex? Then I would tip him a rusty trombone.
 
2014-04-20 10:35:58 AM
If he asks you to help him blow up the moon, don't.
 
2014-04-20 10:38:23 AM
A blowy ?
 
2014-04-20 10:39:06 AM
Baseball pat on the head
 
2014-04-20 10:41:38 AM
Sounds like he needs mow rehab.
 
2014-04-20 10:42:53 AM
He's got a lawn mower and he's drunk.  Given enough time, I'm sure he will take his own tip.
 
2014-04-20 10:43:45 AM
Is he wearing a mesh shirt and jean shorts?

One bomb pop and one pinwheel.
 
2014-04-20 10:47:07 AM

ZAZ: 7.62 millimeters


Another responsible gun owner.
 
2014-04-20 10:47:37 AM
how big is the lawn?  10$ to 15$ seems about right. I might even buy the beer next time...
 
2014-04-20 10:50:30 AM
31.media.tumblr.com

It's MY lawn so *I* get to mow it, I tell you what..
 
2014-04-20 10:50:46 AM
thetwocentscorp.files.wordpress.com
Wanted for questioning.
 
2014-04-20 10:52:15 AM
Sounds like he's already been tipped over.  You don't have to be drunk to fall off a lawn tractor

...but it helps.
 
2014-04-20 10:52:20 AM
I dunno. I've been slipping roofies to many of the "contractors" who work for me at home. Beer does sound a lot cheaper. Should I have been paying them money?

i.cdn.turner.com
 
2014-04-20 10:52:48 AM

abhorrent1: ZAZ: 7.62 millimeters

Another responsible gun owner.


I thought he was referring to the size of his member.

/I guess its time for whynotboth.jpg
 
2014-04-20 10:53:59 AM
Haha, CSB time. When I was a young punk I lived in a rent house and my roomies and I were less than immediate with the lawn work. One spring it had rained for a week straight and the weeds were getting tall, so I figured I'd mow the lawn on Saturday when I'd be home from work and the sun would be out. Lo and behold, I woke up early Saturday morning to the sound of a lawnmower. There were a pair of survivalists living next door to us, and the woman had decided to mow our lawn because we obviously were too lazy to do it. So I calmly baked a nice loaf of cornbread while she did my lawn work for me, and when she was done and had put her mower away, I went over profusely apologizing and mentioning I had been planning to do that all week, and here's a small token of my thanks. The look on her face was priceless. She never tried doing that again.
 
2014-04-20 10:54:50 AM

farkingismybusiness: [076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcd n .com image 720x368]
You don't mow another man's lawn!!!


close.

totalfratmove.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-04-20 10:57:36 AM

BitwiseShift: I dunno. I've been slipping roofies to many of the "contractors" who work for me at home. Beer does sound a lot cheaper. Should I have been paying them money?

[i.cdn.turner.com image 240x260]


Why not, its not like they'll have anywhere to spend it in your basement.
 
2014-04-20 10:59:26 AM
Me, I'm just a drunken lawnmower - you can tell me by the way I walk.
 
2014-04-20 11:00:16 AM

aiiee: farkingismybusiness: [076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcd n .com image 720x368]
You don't mow another man's lawn!!!

close.


thatsthejoke.jpg
 
2014-04-20 11:01:24 AM
Approximately one call to the police for trespassing complaint.
 
2014-04-20 11:01:39 AM

theorellior: Haha, CSB time. When I was a young punk I lived in a rent house and my roomies and I were less than immediate with the lawn work. One spring it had rained for a week straight and the weeds were getting tall, so I figured I'd mow the lawn on Saturday when I'd be home from work and the sun would be out. Lo and behold, I woke up early Saturday morning to the sound of a lawnmower. There were a pair of survivalists living next door to us, and the woman had decided to mow our lawn because we obviously were too lazy to do it. So I calmly baked a nice loaf of cornbread while she did my lawn work for me, and when she was done and had put her mower away, I went over profusely apologizing and mentioning I had been planning to do that all week, and here's a small token of my thanks. The look on her face was priceless. She never tried doing that again.


why?  Was she offended by the corn bread?  Was it the whole role reversal thing?  I dunno...  I think it's nice you made her corn bread.  I'd mow my neighbor's lawn for cookies though.
 
2014-04-20 11:05:49 AM

theorellior: Haha, CSB time. When I was a young punk I lived in a rent house and my roomies and I were less than immediate with the lawn work. One spring it had rained for a week straight and the weeds were getting tall, so I figured I'd mow the lawn on Saturday when I'd be home from work and the sun would be out. Lo and behold, I woke up early Saturday morning to the sound of a lawnmower. There were a pair of survivalists living next door to us, and the woman had decided to mow our lawn because we obviously were too lazy to do it. So I calmly baked a nice loaf of cornbread while she did my lawn work for me, and when she was done and had put her mower away, I went over profusely apologizing and mentioning I had been planning to do that all week, and here's a small token of my thanks. The look on her face was priceless. She never tried doing that again.


Wow.  How nasty was that cornbread?
 
2014-04-20 11:07:07 AM
Depends. If it was the front yard, I'd be kinda pissed because it is xericscaped, and I'd rather not have rocks flying everywhere.
The side lot with the weeds? Go for it. I'll even give you some beers out of the patio cooler.
 
2014-04-20 11:07:17 AM

Warmnight: Baseball pat on the head


How does baseball pat?
 
2014-04-20 11:07:36 AM
If he did a good job, I'd give him 15 bucks if he looked desperate. After gas that leaves him 10 bucks.

Then if he wanted to make it a regular thing I'd go up a notch.
 
2014-04-20 11:08:15 AM

Methadone Girls: theorellior: Haha, CSB time. When I was a young punk I lived in a rent house and my roomies and I were less than immediate with the lawn work. One spring it had rained for a week straight and the weeds were getting tall, so I figured I'd mow the lawn on Saturday when I'd be home from work and the sun would be out. Lo and behold, I woke up early Saturday morning to the sound of a lawnmower. There were a pair of survivalists living next door to us, and the woman had decided to mow our lawn because we obviously were too lazy to do it. So I calmly baked a nice loaf of cornbread while she did my lawn work for me, and when she was done and had put her mower away, I went over profusely apologizing and mentioning I had been planning to do that all week, and here's a small token of my thanks. The look on her face was priceless. She never tried doing that again.

why?  Was she offended by the corn bread?  Was it the whole role reversal thing?  I dunno...  I think it's nice you made her corn bread.  I'd mow my neighbor's lawn for cookies though.


Your cornbread must suck or she would have been mowing your lawn every weekend.
 
2014-04-20 11:09:20 AM

Methadone Girls: why? Was she offended by the corn bread? Was it the whole role reversal thing? I dunno... I think it's nice you made her corn bread. I'd mow my neighbor's lawn for cookies though.


She was being passive-aggressive, didn't bother to ask if she could come into our yard, and thought we'd get all embarrassed and guilty about being young and lazy and not say anything. Instead she got a reciprocal gift and a reminder that, like it or not, it was not her choice to trespass unless she received permission. Both she and her husband were insufferable superior assholes and the last thing people like that want is to be called out on their bullshiat.
 
2014-04-20 11:10:20 AM

jtown: Wow. How nasty was that cornbread?


TheOther: Your cornbread must suck or she would have been mowing your lawn every weekend.


As I mentioned above, it wasn't the cornbread, it was being called out for being a meddling asshole.
 
2014-04-20 11:10:37 AM
I see 'give him a beer' has already been used, but I'd give him two if he did a good job and didn't break any sprinkler heads.
 
2014-04-20 11:13:24 AM

theorellior: Haha, CSB time. When I was a young punk I lived in a rent house and my roomies and I were less than immediate with the lawn work. One spring it had rained for a week straight and the weeds were getting tall, so I figured I'd mow the lawn on Saturday when I'd be home from work and the sun would be out. Lo and behold, I woke up early Saturday morning to the sound of a lawnmower. There were a pair of survivalists living next door to us, and the woman had decided to mow our lawn because we obviously were too lazy to do it. So I calmly baked a nice loaf of cornbread while she did my lawn work for me, and when she was done and had put her mower away, I went over profusely apologizing and mentioning I had been planning to do that all week, and here's a small token of my thanks. The look on her face was priceless. She never tried doing that again.


..."and the next time you try that these will be waitin' in the ground for you and your lawn wreckin' machine, pinko commie bastard!"
 
2014-04-20 11:14:19 AM

theorellior: As I mentioned above, it wasn't the cornbread, it was being called out for being a meddling asshole.


Oh come on, unless they do something horrible with your lawn it is just a nice favor.

My neighbor and I will knock out one another's if it goes too long and we think they are busy (either with work or with play, it doesn't matter).


Maybe you aren't conveying the story well enough, but it sounds kind of like you are the dick in this scenario, and passive aggressive at that. Passive aggressive neighbors are the worst.
 
2014-04-20 11:16:43 AM

theorellior: Methadone Girls: why? Was she offended by the corn bread? Was it the whole role reversal thing? I dunno... I think it's nice you made her corn bread. I'd mow my neighbor's lawn for cookies though.

She was being passive-aggressive, didn't bother to ask if she could come into our yard, and thought we'd get all embarrassed and guilty about being young and lazy and not say anything. Instead she got a reciprocal gift and a reminder that, like it or not, it was not her choice to trespass unless she received permission. Both she and her husband were insufferable superior assholes and the last thing people like that want is to be called out on their bullshiat.


oooohhhhh!!!

and so you were being passive aggressive back.  Got it.

I've been lucky, I've only ever lived beside one person who thought he was a superior a$$hat.  We had to cut down the tree out the front of our house because it was dripping sap and destroying the paint on our cars.  He came out and threatened to call the by-law officer on us because we didn't get permission to cut down the tree (it was a big tree but all on our property).  My ex told him to call, and while we get our ticket for cutting down the tree, we'll direct him to the a$$hat's yard where he has an unfenced pond in the front yard.  Kids could drown in it.

/He didn't come back
//Neither did the by-law officer
///slashies come in three's
 
2014-04-20 11:17:02 AM

MassAsster: how big is the lawn?  10$ to 15$ seems about right. I might even buy the beer next time...


This is the correct answer
 
2014-04-20 11:18:31 AM
America. We're a bunch of hostile, ignorant, and pessimistic paranoids.

Seriously, someone's doing you a favor by mowing your lawn and you call the cops on them? I mean, if he came over at 3 a.m. and woke me up, I'd be livid, but even that wouldn't get me to call the cops. Or, if he was also shooting at neighborhood kids, okay, maybe I'd call the cops then.

Tip? Well, if he's drunk I might take him a beer and some nibbly things. If he's naked and at least some what attractive, I'd think a beej might be in order. Were he a Jew, I'd slip him five bucks or so. Black, well, then I'd totally call the cops.
 
2014-04-20 11:21:36 AM

theorellior: jtown: Wow. How nasty was that cornbread?

TheOther: Your cornbread must suck or she would have been mowing your lawn every weekend.

As I mentioned above, it wasn't the cornbread, it was being called out for being a meddling asshole.


Even a 'meddling asshole' will choke down their spleen for GOOD cornbread.  I've been to my family's dinners and seen it for myself.  I don't know if shaming her was your plan, but it seems a little like, 'I'll run off that starving stray cat by feeding it!'

I guess it worked out for you, though.
 
2014-04-20 11:21:37 AM

Smackledorfer: Maybe you aren't conveying the story well enough, but it sounds kind of like you are the dick in this scenario, and passive aggressive at that. Passive aggressive neighbors are the worst.


Perhaps it helps to have the entire history of interactions with those neighbors. And how do you spin someone mowing someone's lawn without even knocking on the door to let everyone know what was going on?

Methadone Girls: and so you were being passive aggressive back. Got it.


Far from it. I addressed the situation promptly and politely. I didn't need to say, "Don't come into our backyard without permission," because that's just rude. Instead, I thanked her for her labor, presented her with a neighborly gift, and reminded her that sometimes extenuating circumstances prevent people from doing chores.

And, really, I only threatened her with cornbread, not a hot lead enema like some posters above. : )
 
2014-04-20 11:22:33 AM

dikkcor28: [thetwocentscorp.files.wordpress.com image 460x295]
Wanted for questioning.


d3gqasl9vmjfd8.cloudfront.netblogs.houstonpress.com
 
2014-04-20 11:23:39 AM

Smackledorfer: If he did a good job, I'd give him 15 bucks if he looked desperate. After gas that leaves him 10 bucks.

Then if he wanted to make it a regular thing I'd go up a notch.


The best answer I've seen so far. Why can drunks come down MY street to mow my lawn.
 
2014-04-20 11:25:33 AM
If a guy is falling off his lawn mower, I don't think letting him mow your yard for free is a good idea. There are lawyers circling the block waiting for the guy to hurt himself.

/Back away slowly.
//advise him to go sleep it off.
 
2014-04-20 11:26:52 AM

theorellior: Haha, CSB time. When I was a young punk I lived in a rent house and my roomies and I were less than immediate with the lawn work. One spring it had rained for a week straight and the weeds were getting tall, so I figured I'd mow the lawn on Saturday when I'd be home from work and the sun would be out. Lo and behold, I woke up early Saturday morning to the sound of a lawnmower. There were a pair of survivalists living next door to us, and the woman had decided to mow our lawn because we obviously were too lazy to do it. So I calmly baked a nice loaf of cornbread while she did my lawn work for me, and when she was done and had put her mower away, I went over profusely apologizing and mentioning I had been planning to do that all week, and here's a small token of my thanks. The look on her face was priceless. She never tried doing that again.


Your cornbread was THAT bad?
 
2014-04-20 11:26:55 AM

Smackledorfer: If he did a good job, I'd give him 15 bucks if he looked desperate. After gas that leaves him 10 bucks.

Then if he wanted to make it a regular thing I'd go up a notch.


This.  A couple of homeless gents live in a tent up by the lake near my home.  They knock on the door every Friday and ask my husband if they can mow the yards in exchange for a few bucks.  He gives them $40, feeds them lunch and provides beverages.

My brother and I both work long hours, my husband is disabled by an anterior subluxation of the 2nd lumbar disk and the kid is autistic.  I don't trust her to work a blender, much less a power mower.
 
2014-04-20 11:29:21 AM

theorellior: Smackledorfer: Maybe you aren't conveying the story well enough, but it sounds kind of like you are the dick in this scenario, and passive aggressive at that. Passive aggressive neighbors are the worst.

Perhaps it helps to have the entire history of interactions with those neighbors. And how do you spin someone mowing someone's lawn without even knocking on the door to let everyone know what was going on?

Methadone Girls: and so you were being passive aggressive back. Got it.

Far from it. I addressed the situation promptly and politely. I didn't need to say, "Don't come into our backyard without permission," because that's just rude. Instead, I thanked her for her labor, presented her with a neighborly gift, and reminded her that sometimes extenuating circumstances prevent people from doing chores.

And, really, I only threatened her with cornbread, not a hot lead enema like some posters above. : )


They were in your back yard???  I thought this was just your front yard.  Yeah, backyard is creepy.
 
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