If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Huffington Post)   "Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets" and other pearls of food wisdom from Fark's patron saint, Ron Swanson   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 46
    More: Amusing, patron saint  
•       •       •

4067 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 Apr 2014 at 3:11 PM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-18 12:35:16 PM  
last week's episode with jeff tweedy was hilarious.
 
2014-04-18 01:59:41 PM  

FlashHarry: last week's episode with jeff tweedy was hilarious.


I was not expecting Bo Burnham to show up. That was great.
 
2014-04-18 03:17:43 PM  
I've watched  a lot of TV in my 44 years. Ron Swanson is in my top 3 best characters of all time.
Parks and Rec is in my my top 5 sitcoms of all time.
 
2014-04-18 03:17:46 PM  
Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.
 
2014-04-18 03:22:10 PM  
I don't know what a Ron Swanson is, but I want to punch him in the face while laughing hilariously all at the same time.

I don't drink anymore, but his clear alcohol quote is dead on.

/Tequila, the real liquor, the best liquor.
 
2014-04-18 03:22:53 PM  

ChubbyTiger: Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.


Rot gut!

That stuff is nasty.
 
2014-04-18 03:27:05 PM  

ChubbyTiger: Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.


Any time someone tells me they don't like gin, I consider it a challenge to find them a gin-based drink they would like.  I think its the best spirit out there, and across price points there are great gins.

Best Cheap - Gordons
Best Mid-grade - Bombay Original
Best Top Shelf - Booths

I. Love. Gin.
 
2014-04-18 03:28:53 PM  

Apok451: ChubbyTiger: Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.

Rot gut!

That stuff is nasty.


If by nasty you mean heavenly nectar directly pressed from the forbidden fruit from the Garden of Eden, then yes gin is nasty.
 
2014-04-18 03:31:25 PM  
Sometimes I think Ron Swanson's a little too easy of a catchphrase generator, if that makes any sense.

On the other hand, that skim milk line is brilliant.
 
2014-04-18 03:33:45 PM  
cdn.justpo.st
 
2014-04-18 03:36:21 PM  

phedex: ChubbyTiger: Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.

Any time someone tells me they don't like gin, I consider it a challenge to find them a gin-based drink they would like.  I think its the best spirit out there, and across price points there are great gins.

Best Cheap - Gordons
Best Mid-grade - Bombay Original
Best Top Shelf - Booths

I. Love. Gin.


Bullfrog: Gin, pineapple juice, 7-Up.  Anyone who did time in the military and visited the Philippines will know what it is.
 
2014-04-18 03:43:46 PM  
img.fark.net
This is made here in Detroit.  Best gin I've ever tasted.  I also like Hendrick's.
 
2014-04-18 03:44:19 PM  

Gary-L: phedex: ChubbyTiger: Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.

Any time someone tells me they don't like gin, I consider it a challenge to find them a gin-based drink they would like.  I think its the best spirit out there, and across price points there are great gins.

Best Cheap - Gordons
Best Mid-grade - Bombay Original
Best Top Shelf - Booths

I. Love. Gin.

Bullfrog: Gin, pineapple juice, 7-Up.  Anyone who did time in the military and visited the Philippines will know what it is.


There are two drinks that I personally use to judge an establishment:

1 - Mojito (not going to lie, I think someone brainwashed me or I was a subject for MKULTRA or something)

2 - Gimlet (Thanks to my cousin)
 
2014-04-18 03:46:31 PM  
Ron Swanson's character is hilarious, but if he was a real person he'd be an asshole.
 
2014-04-18 03:47:09 PM  
I always add a drop or two of Angostura to my G&Ts- it adds a bit of zip and turns them a fetching pink color.
 
2014-04-18 03:56:13 PM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: I always add a drop or two of Angostura to my G&Ts- it adds a bit of zip and turns them a fetching pink color.


I have a weird love for bitters. Think it comes from my not-as-weird love for Manhattans.
 
2014-04-18 03:57:52 PM  

max_pooper: Apok451: ChubbyTiger: Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.

Rot gut!

That stuff is nasty.

If by nasty you mean heavenly nectar directly pressed from the forbidden fruit from the Garden of Eden, then yes gin is nasty.


Ron?
 
2014-04-18 03:58:27 PM  

Car_Ramrod: Ron Swanson's character is hilarious, but if he was a real person he'd be an asshole.


he's a caricature of a libertarian. of course he's an asshole.
 
2014-04-18 03:58:32 PM  
Scene: Mrs. Rieper and I standing in a room covered in grafitti and broken plaster.  The floor is painted black.

Mrs. Rieper: Dear god, what have we gotten ourselves into?
Me: I'm gonna to do a thing.

[power tool noises]

Scene: Mrs. Rieper and I standing in an immaculate apple green room with white trim.  There is a new light fixture.  The floor is an aged pine.

Mrs. Rieper: Wow, this is kind of fantastic.
Me: I was going to have a drink.  Did you want one?
 
2014-04-18 03:59:45 PM  
Macallan tonight. Aberlour tomorrow.
 
2014-04-18 04:00:49 PM  

FlashHarry: Car_Ramrod: Ron Swanson's character is hilarious, but if he was a real person he'd be an asshole.

he's a caricature of a libertarian. of course he's an asshole.


I don't know where this whole "Fark's patron saint" business came from. There are not a ton of libertarians here. More than on average, I suppose, but still.
 
2014-04-18 04:01:07 PM  

Apok451: ChubbyTiger: Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.

Rot gut!

That stuff is nasty.


with that attitude you'll never form a globe spanning empire. You think the brits did it purely on facial hair and mechanical joyless sex?
 
2014-04-18 04:02:38 PM  
I like vodka. I like gin. I like clear rum. I like rumpleminze.

fark off, Ron Swanson
 
2014-04-18 04:19:36 PM  

phedex: ChubbyTiger: Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.

Any time someone tells me they don't like gin, I consider it a challenge to find them a gin-based drink they would like.  I think its the best spirit out there, and across price points there are great gins.

Best Cheap - Gordons
Best Mid-grade - Bombay Original
Best Top Shelf - Booths

I. Love. Gin.


Gin is an old people drink.
 
2014-04-18 04:20:04 PM  
Thankfully, someone has taken the trouble assembling Ron Farkign Swanson's greatest moments into separate videos. If you go to Youtube and look for "Swanalogues" you will find them. Saves you from having to watch the whole show.

It would be hilarious if Sleepfighting were a real thing. And Ron pulling his own tooth at a meeting was one of the best TV moments of ALL TIME.
 
2014-04-18 04:24:28 PM  

Car_Ramrod: Ron Swanson's character is hilarious, but if he was a real person he'd be an asshole.


Are you saying I'm an asshole?
 
2014-04-18 04:41:39 PM  

Car_Ramrod: I don't know where this whole "Fark's patron saint" business came from. There are not a ton of libertarians here. More than on average, I suppose, but still.


i think it's the love of booze.
 
2014-04-18 04:43:50 PM  

MrStarbuck: [img.fark.net image 130x435]
This is made here in Detroit.  Best gin I've ever tasted.  I also like Hendrick's.


phedex: I. Love. Gin.


I'll see your choices and raise you...

m.vcst.net
/exquisite.
 
2014-04-18 04:46:46 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Car_Ramrod: Ron Swanson's character is hilarious, but if he was a real person he'd be an asshole.

Are you saying I'm an asshole?


If you're just like Ron Swanson, yes. That would be what I said.
 
2014-04-18 05:42:01 PM  
Current season's Ron Swanson has crossed the line into caricature a bit too much, but that's been true of almost every character this year.  I've been afraid every season that this show was going to get cancelled, but this time I cringed a little when they renewed it for next year.  I think they're just about out of gas.
 
2014-04-18 06:14:27 PM  

phedex: ChubbyTiger: Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.

Any time someone tells me they don't like gin, I consider it a challenge to find them a gin-based drink they would like.  I think its the best spirit out there, and across price points there are great gins.

Best Cheap - Gordons
Best Mid-grade - Bombay Original
Best Top Shelf - Booths

I. Love. Gin.


This guy clearly knows where his towel is. How do you feel about Anchor's gin?

Ron is not often wrong, but he is wrong about this one.

He is also less entertaining with every season as they make him less of an abrupt, one-dimension caricature and more likeable.

/ Lowe's: "I know more than you." LOL. BTDT.
 
2014-04-18 06:33:35 PM  

Scrotastic Method: MrStarbuck: [img.fark.net image 130x435]
This is made here in Detroit.  Best gin I've ever tasted.  I also like Hendrick's.

phedex: I. Love. Gin.

I'll see your choices and raise you...

[m.vcst.net image 850x1186]
/exquisite.


I've been wanting to try that one, and the liqour stores around me never seem to have it.  Based on the name alone and the way people talk about it though...i'm sure thats gotta be good.  Strong juniper flavor I take it?
 
2014-04-18 06:36:56 PM  
My last name is Burnett. It has taken many years, but I have finally convinced myself that I "like" Burnett's gin and to a lesser extent vodka. (vodak? do we still do that?)
 
2014-04-18 06:45:34 PM  

phedex: Scrotastic Method: MrStarbuck: [img.fark.net image 130x435]
This is made here in Detroit.  Best gin I've ever tasted.  I also like Hendrick's.

phedex: I. Love. Gin.

I'll see your choices and raise you...

[m.vcst.net image 850x1186]
/exquisite.

I've been wanting to try that one, and the liqour stores around me never seem to have it.  Based on the name alone and the way people talk about it though...i'm sure thats gotta be good.  Strong juniper flavor I take it?


Not particularly -- Junipero is more likely used because of Junipero Serra, a missionary from forever back that has all kinds of stuff named after him in the SF Bay Area. So it's a pun, really, that invokes the juniper berry and the fact that it's distilled in SF.

It's hard to find, even in SF. You might want to check BevMo's website, or other liquor chains, and see if you can get it delivered, if your state allows it. Otherwise, time for an SF vacation and some delicious checked baggage.
 
2014-04-18 06:46:16 PM  

Scrotastic Method: MrStarbuck: [img.fark.net image 130x435]
This is made here in Detroit.  Best gin I've ever tasted.  I also like Hendrick's.

phedex: I. Love. Gin.

I'll see your choices and raise you...


/exquisite.


Damn right. That stuff is amazing. Have you tried their Genevieve? It's different, but I love it on the rocks.

/Anchor's rye is near the best liquor I've ever had
 
rka
2014-04-18 08:15:39 PM  

foo monkey: phedex: ChubbyTiger: Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.

Any time someone tells me they don't like gin, I consider it a challenge to find them a gin-based drink they would like.  I think its the best spirit out there, and across price points there are great gins.

Best Cheap - Gordons
Best Mid-grade - Bombay Original
Best Top Shelf - Booths

I. Love. Gin.

Gin is an old people drink.


Correction, it is an *experienced* people's drink.

People who don't like gin are usually kids or the feeble minded.
 
2014-04-18 08:33:28 PM  
I avoid the dark liquors because I hear they are hell on the liver, although that might be pseudoscience I picked up somewhere while drunk.
 
2014-04-18 09:28:35 PM  
I guess HuffPo needed some of that sweet sweet every-website-on-earth ad revenue.
 
2014-04-18 09:36:52 PM  
data3.whicdn.com
 
2014-04-18 09:47:10 PM  
starting around the first summer day it hits 80 degrees in this part of pennsylvania, I'll hit the state store for a good bottle of gin. an ice cold gin and tonic on a hot summer afternoon is dang near orgasmic.

once the fall wind starts creeping in and it cools off - I can't even look at the stuff
 
2014-04-18 10:24:02 PM  
ts2.mm.bing.net
 
2014-04-18 11:53:12 PM  

rka: foo monkey: phedex: ChubbyTiger: Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.

Any time someone tells me they don't like gin, I consider it a challenge to find them a gin-based drink they would like.  I think its the best spirit out there, and across price points there are great gins.

Best Cheap - Gordons
Best Mid-grade - Bombay Original
Best Top Shelf - Booths

I. Love. Gin.

Gin is an old people drink.

Correction, it is an *experienced* people's drink.

People who don't like gin are usually kids or the feeble minded.


I think the secret is to give someone a gin and tonic made with good gin and good tonic water.  I was turned onto vodka and tonic in my 20's, and by my late 20's I got turned on to gin and tonic.  Now, vodka seems so bland and useless,

I reckon is like with any other liqour.  some people love high end whiskey/bourbon, but as far as I am concerned jim beam or evan williams is all I need in that department.  I just can't tell a difference on that style of booze.  But gin's, each one seems to have its own thing.

Like tonight, I hadn't caught a buzz in a while, and picked up some new amsterdam.  I was not impressed, as it lacks the juniper flavor I so love...but I could see it being a good intro gin for the uninitiated because its so..base? it would probably serve as a great mixer into more non-ginny type drinks, just a barely there hint of what I expect.

needless to say, my next buzz will be off of better gin.
 
2014-04-19 06:49:31 AM  

phedex: ChubbyTiger: Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.

Any time someone tells me they don't like gin, I consider it a challenge to find them a gin-based drink they would like.  I think its the best spirit out there, and across price points there are great gins.

Best Cheap - Gordons
Best Mid-grade - Bombay Original
Best Top Shelf - Booths

I. Love. Gin.


What's your take on Broker's?

rka: foo monkey: phedex: ChubbyTiger: Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.

Any time someone tells me they don't like gin, I consider it a challenge to find them a gin-based drink they would like.  I think its the best spirit out there, and across price points there are great gins.

Best Cheap - Gordons
Best Mid-grade - Bombay Original
Best Top Shelf - Booths

I. Love. Gin.

Gin is an old people drink.

Correction, it is an *experienced* people's drink.

People who don't like gin are usually kids or the feeble minded.


Quite true. That's why I didn't develop a taste for gin until after I was 35. Also, if we're talking about old school gin cocktails, gin rickey FTW. Believe or not, one time I was at the Bellagio had to tell the bartender what made up a gin rickey.
 
2014-04-19 01:22:58 PM  

phedex: rka: foo monkey: phedex: ChubbyTiger: Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.

Any time someone tells me they don't like gin, I consider it a challenge to find them a gin-based drink they would like.  I think its the best spirit out there, and across price points there are great gins.

Best Cheap - Gordons
Best Mid-grade - Bombay Original
Best Top Shelf - Booths

I. Love. Gin.

Gin is an old people drink.

Correction, it is an *experienced* people's drink.

People who don't like gin are usually kids or the feeble minded.

I think the secret is to give someone a gin and tonic made with good gin and good tonic water.  I was turned onto vodka and tonic in my 20's, and by my late 20's I got turned on to gin and tonic.  Now, vodka seems so bland and useless,

I reckon is like with any other liqour.  some people love high end whiskey/bourbon, but as far as I am concerned jim beam or evan williams is all I need in that department.  I just can't tell a difference on that style of booze.  But gin's, each one seems to have its own thing.

Like tonight, I hadn't caught a buzz in a while, and picked up some new amsterdam.  I was not impressed, as it lacks the juniper flavor I so love...but I could see it being a good intro gin for the uninitiated because its so..base? it would probably serve as a great mixer into more non-ginny type drinks, just a barely there hint of what I expect.

needless to say, my next buzz will be off of better gin.


New Amsterdam is very lite on the juniper.  Useful in cases where you don't want the gin to really overpower other things, but if I wan't a proper traditional Martini or G&T I prefer something like Brokers.

The thing about gin is that it's an art to create and balance different botanicals and there are different styles.  Dutch gin  is not like London Dry, which is not like Plymouth, etc. You have to decide what you like and where to use it.
 
2014-04-19 05:56:09 PM  

foo monkey: phedex: ChubbyTiger: Gin is a perfectly cromulent alcohol.

Any time someone tells me they don't like gin, I consider it a challenge to find them a gin-based drink they would like.  I think its the best spirit out there, and across price points there are great gins.

Best Cheap - Gordons
Best Mid-grade - Bombay Original
Best Top Shelf - Booths

I. Love. Gin.

Gin is an old people drink.


Which is probably why hipsters are starting to drink it.

/I like gin
//I may or may not be a hipster
 
2014-04-19 07:18:15 PM  
Tell that to the Russians. Nothing like a burning pull of chilled vodka to start your morning.
 
Displayed 46 of 46 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


Report