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(Jezebel)   Nebraska elementary school gives fifth graders nine rules for how to deal with bullies, such as "Treat the bully like they're trying to help you" and "never, ever tell on them"   (jezebel.com ) divider line
    More: Stupid, treating, elementary schools, graders, sore loser  
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6387 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Apr 2014 at 1:10 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-17 01:41:55 PM  

letrole: In Sweden, bullies are identified early on in grade school. Rather than suppress the trait, the bullies are taught to think of themselves as 'sheep dogs', and their classmates are the flock they protect. They still 'bully' and sometimes berate, but with their behaviour corrected to a useful, or at least more benign role.


Probably a cultural trait that contributed to Sweden's glorious role in WWII.   A lot of sheep herding going on there.
 
2014-04-17 01:43:30 PM  

FloridaFarkTag: JerkyMeat: Rule #1 - Use overwhelming force to permanently disable the bully.

That should be rule #1

The only way you stop bullying is to defend yourself. Nothing stops a bully more than a fat lip and a black eye

We have a bullying problem because PsychoBabblelists value attackers more than those who defend themselves


<CSB>
In elementary school I was bullied pretty often, mostly because I would just sit and read books rather than play. I was new in town (military parents who moved often) and had no friends, so I was a prime target. I also had a streak of insurrection which continues to this day so I would do my best to not let the bully have his way.

One day a bully blindsides me and smashes my face into the ground. He walks away laughing and I go tell a teacher who said "We didn't see it so we can't enforce it.". When I got home, my father asked me what happened and I told him. He is the most understanding and underestimated badass I've ever known (He was Air Force Special Forces, 6'2 and incredibly fit, and has confirmed kills with both rifle and knife) and told me if a bully ever did that to me that I should immediately try to beat his ass. He also said if I got in trouble for it he would be there to tell off the school about their treatment.

Two days pass, bully does it again. I snap and go apeshiat on him and wind up giving him more than he bargained for. Teacher breaks us up and I am "the aggressor" and get immediate ISS. It took my father only 15 minutes of getting the phone call to come down to the school and have heated words with the administration about their "farking idiocy" and "knee-jerk stupidity" having me in trouble for defending myself.

Needless to say the resource officer was called, and a discussion happened. I have no farking clue how it went down but I had the administrator come out and apologize to me. He then asks for the bully's name and calls him in. The bully is then told he is not only suspended, but expelled. Parents are called, and of course this shiatstain's parents are probably the whitest trash I've ever laid eyes on in my life. Heated words are thrown at my father who shrugs them off, but the moment they say something about me I see something terrifying in my dad's eyes. I think he went feral for just a brief moment and spoke in that icy voice that deep in our subconscious reminds us of the demons in our dreams. Trash-dad steps up and gets vocal and in what appeared to be a blur he's on the floor in an arm-bar before the resource officer can even flinch.

I was never bullied at that school again, and the administration never once darkened my locker/classroom over it.

What I learned was threefold. 1) Always stand up to bullies, and make sure they realize the cost of getting physical. 2)Family watches over family. 3)My father is like a Jekyll/Hyde monster.

tl;dr -> Fight back, bullies hate kids with spines.
 
2014-04-17 01:44:33 PM  
I remember how this worked in middle school just fine: The guy holding my arm and forcing me to punch my own face would repeatedly ask me "why are you punching yourself?". This article is correct; it was clearly my own fault that I was being punched.
 
2014-04-17 01:45:04 PM  
Rule #1 Stab the school administrators with a very large knife
Rule #2 Stab the bully with a very large knife
Rule #3 Stab the school board with a very large knife
Rule #4 Stab local Republicans and Liberals with a very large knife
Rule #5 Declare independence and stab anyone that disagrees with you with a very large knife
Rule #6 Don't talk about stab club
 
2014-04-17 01:45:50 PM  
#10 Always give the bully your lunch money or lunch when asked, in fact it's better to just surrender your monies to the bully when he 1st spots you. Bullying is hard work, and requires the bully to maintain proper nourishment in order to smash your geeky face off of a wall.

#11 Your mom really is a whore, so don't argue this point with a bully because he already did your mom last night.
 
2014-04-17 01:46:12 PM  

Witness99: Private_Citizen: That's some of the worst advice I've seen in years. Could you imagine that being adapted for an anti rape program?

Pretend the rapist is trying to help you. Trying to help you overcome your fear of orgasm.

No matter what, do not tell anyone about the rapist. That will only bring shame on you and your family. Then you'll be stoned. Ain't nobody got time fo dat.


Exactly! When you apply those "rules" to the adult world, the jaw dropping stupidity is impossible to hide.
 
2014-04-17 01:46:15 PM  

menschenfresser: I remember how this worked in middle school just fine: The guy holding my arm and forcing me to punch my own face would repeatedly ask me "why are you punching yourself?". This article is correct; it was clearly my own fault that I was being punched.


I always answered "Because you are forcing me to".  The bully appreciated my honesty and promptly let me go.
 
2014-04-17 01:47:02 PM  
Sometimes, hitting the bully stops it.  Unless the bully is a true sociopath, in which case, he gets three friends to help him jump you to "even the score" and re-establish dominance, using your face. While it always works in movies, in real life, physically fighting back gives even odds of escalating the violence.
 
2014-04-17 01:47:14 PM  

Dafatone: I remember a kid three times my size beating on me in art class.  I went to tell the teacher, and she yelled at me to sit back down.

That's all I've really got.  If I could give younger me advice, it'd be to tell her to go fark herself and storm out.


I was about 6'1" and 125 pounds in junior high.  I got lucky when the bully took a swing at me in the hall, missed, and slammed his hand into a locker at full force, spraining or breaking it.  I then jumped on him and proceeded to wail on him, Ralphie vs. Scut Farkus style, while he was unable to fight back.  It was dirty as hell, but he never farked with me again.

The Vice Principal later stopped me in the hall and asked if I was okay.

/Riveting tale, chap
 
2014-04-17 01:49:01 PM  

Dr Dreidel: 3 is common sense - I was bullied in grade school, and showing fear was a great way to let the kid know he was winning. 5 is as well - NEVER be the first to throw a punch (and if you can help it, try not to be the second, either).


There are plenty of stories these days for kids getting suspended for "fighting" even though they never threw a blow. If you're going to get punished anyway, you may as well try your damndest to hit the guy first.
 
2014-04-17 01:49:42 PM  

techgeek07: I really hope this is satire.


It's not. The school officially walked it back claiming it was never meant to be released.
 
2014-04-17 01:51:16 PM  
Whenever I hear about some S.O.B. that I went to school with that was a bully/general pain getting arrested, fined... etc. I just sit back and smile. The feeling of schadenfreude is wonderful....

When I was just out of college, I ran into one of these schmuck's mothers and she was bragging about how good her boy is and it was just OK what I was doing just like she always did back in the good ol' days... I just reminded her that her little idiot didn't finish highschool, is at the same dead end fastfood job he's always had and swing shift manager is aiming just a little too high for his mental capacity. Standing up to this clown felt good, verbally biatch slapping his mother who supported all his activities felt great.
 
2014-04-17 01:51:47 PM  

Sgt Otter: Dafatone: I remember a kid three times my size beating on me in art class.  I went to tell the teacher, and she yelled at me to sit back down.

That's all I've really got.  If I could give younger me advice, it'd be to tell her to go fark herself and storm out.

I was about 6'1" and 125 pounds in junior high.  I got lucky when the bully took a swing at me in the hall, missed, and slammed his hand into a locker at full force, spraining or breaking it.  I then jumped on him and proceeded to wail on him, Ralphie vs. Scut Farkus style, while he was unable to fight back.  It was dirty as hell, but he never farked with me again.

The Vice Principal later stopped me in the hall and asked if I was okay.

/Riveting tale, chap


I can't decide which is better: this one, or Jekyll/Hyde Monster Dad up there.
 
2014-04-17 01:56:32 PM  
...because, as any avid fan of Jezebel would know, teaching kids to grow a thicker skin and beating a would-be bully at his own game is to be avoided at all cost. How can you be a VICTIM!!! if you don't allow it to happen. This sensibility will never stand.
 
2014-04-17 01:59:28 PM  
If your bullies are girls, and one decides to attack you, make her bawl in front of the everyone who has gathered round to watch the fight. That worked well for me except for for a few male bullies. Got into a fight with them a few months later and they also found out someone who does a lot of physical labor at home is strong no matter how smart and geeky they are. That was 7th grade. Never had an issue again through graduation. The guys and I later became friends. The girls were to stuck up and stupid for me to want to do more than ignore them.
 
2014-04-17 01:59:39 PM  

Witness99: Wendy's Chili: They're not bullies, they're therapy job-creators.

You know, I've seen you in threads the last couple days but not a couple months ago when we actually had a thread about Wendy's Chili. And I told everyone, there's a person here on Fark called Wendy's Chili and he/she should chime in any moment now...but you never showed up.

One day, I tried Wendy's Chili and was surprised at how delicious it was. They should pay you.


I got a time-out once because I started a thread about how awful their chili is.  I was lying, they really do have decent chili especially if you add a couple of their hot sauce packets to it.
 
2014-04-17 02:00:16 PM  
Shut up and take yer lumps.
 
2014-04-17 02:00:34 PM  

Delawheredad: In the  not too distant future males will have their balls amputated at birth sand returned to them after they finish college.


So the problem is sand in the...that  would explain a lot, wouldn't it?
 
2014-04-17 02:04:00 PM  

Any Pie Left: Sometimes, hitting the bully stops it.  Unless the bully is a true sociopath, in which case, he gets three friends to help him jump you to "even the score" and re-establish dominance, using your face. While it always works in movies, in real life, physically fighting back gives even odds of escalating the violence.


That just means he's is scared of you. If he wasn't, he wouldn't bring backup.
Just be sure to use that upperhand wisely and don't become the very thing that that you hated.
 
2014-04-17 02:04:06 PM  

dartben: Dr Dreidel: NEVER be the first to throw a punch (and if you can help it, try not to be the second, either).

Dude, always throw the second punch. You'll be suspended either way, might as well make it worth while and get some shots in for your trouble.


Carousel Beast: There are plenty of stories these days for kids getting suspended for "fighting" even though they never threw a blow. If you're going to get punished anyway, you may as well try your damndest to hit the guy first.


1. I'm a pacifist, so I'd rather no one throw any punches. In the real world though, the one who hits back is often the one "caught". So take Punch 1, wait for Punch 2, THEN go to town now that everyone's witnessed at least one of the attacks. I can certainly see wanting to strike back as quickly (and brutally?) as possible, though I obviously disagree.

2. I finally got the bully to quit picking on me by giving him a fat lip and a tiny hook-scar on his lip (that he still has, 20+ years later). My dad had told me - repeatedly - that if I hit back, he'd buy me ice cream even if the school suspended me (which they did, and he did when I eventually did hit back). Give me a break, I was 8.

It did teach me that school disciplinary systems are unfair and totally farked - they had me and my bully meet to hang out for a few Sundays in the hopes of making friends out of us. What I remember is eating Fruity Pebbles in silence in his kitchen.
 
2014-04-17 02:04:36 PM  
Best way to beat a bully... fark their mom...
 
2014-04-17 02:04:37 PM  
More Onion writers come from this elementary school than any other -- unless of course the bully tells them not to.
 
2014-04-17 02:05:05 PM  
 Not that some kinds of bullying should be allowed, but you need to get a certain amount of shiat in your life.
 
2014-04-17 02:05:07 PM  

Kurgan Warlord: Any Pie Left: Sometimes, hitting the bully stops it.  Unless the bully is a true sociopath, in which case, he gets three friends to help him jump you to "even the score" and re-establish dominance, using your face. While it always works in movies, in real life, physically fighting back gives even odds of escalating the violence.

That just means he's scared of you. If he wasn't, he wouldn't bring backup.
Just be sure to use that upperhand wisely and don't become the very thing that that you hated.


/sorry for the redundant "is".
 
2014-04-17 02:05:15 PM  
I guess that booklet forgot to add: "If a bully insults you, respond with a witty retort (something from Oscar Wilde). Then call for someone to open your locker and help get you out".
 
2014-04-17 02:07:37 PM  
I taught my kid to respond quickly and strongly to bullies at an early age.  Bullies go to the point of least resistance.  Plenty of other sheep that they can go bother besides you.  He will graduate from high school this year.

//pushing him into sports didn't hurt either.  The rest of the team can be useful allies in a bully situation.
 
2014-04-17 02:09:28 PM  

Sgt Otter: Dafatone: I remember a kid three times my size beating on me in art class.  I went to tell the teacher, and she yelled at me to sit back down.

That's all I've really got.  If I could give younger me advice, it'd be to tell her to go fark herself and storm out.

I was about 6'1" and 125 pounds in junior high.  I got lucky when the bully took a swing at me in the hall, missed, and slammed his hand into a locker at full force, spraining or breaking it.  I then jumped on him and proceeded to wail on him, Ralphie vs. Scut Farkus style, while he was unable to fight back.  It was dirty as hell, but he never farked with me again.

The Vice Principal later stopped me in the hall and asked if I was okay.

/Riveting tale, chap



The hell it was.  You took advantage of a tactical mistake on the part of the aggressor.
 
2014-04-17 02:14:06 PM  

Private_Citizen: That's some of the worst advice I've seen in years. Could you imagine that being adapted for an anti rape program?


Yes, actually. It's a lot like that execrable manual for giving criminals hardons How To Say No To A Rapist And Survive.
 
2014-04-17 02:14:28 PM  

Dr Dreidel:  5 is as well - NEVER be the first to throw a punch (and if you can help it, try not to be the second, either).



Never throwing the first punch even at the point where you know the other guy is going to is a great way to get your ass kicked.

Unless you are a trained fighter with good counterpunching skills, that first punch is going to leave your eyes watering, you off balance at least a little bit, and your mind now focusing on simple avoiding pain similar to what it just received rather than self defense.

While I do agree your best bet is always to try and talk your way out of a fight, there will come a point where you realize nothing you could possibly say will matter because the other guy has decided he wants a fight.  At that point, your best bet is to hit him first so he gets to suffer all those debilitating effects I described, use that opening for a hard kick to the side of the knee or anything that will leave your opponent temporarily unable to pursue, and then get away to safety.
 
2014-04-17 02:15:37 PM  

Pincy: theprinceofwands: Sick and wrong. I was mercilessly bullied as a kid. I can tell you there is only one rule for dealing with a bully: learn to defend yourself, and use that skill to beat your attackers within an inch of their life. THAT is the only effective means to stop bullying and improve your situation.

I somewhat agree with the sentiment but not all kids who are bullied are able to defend themselves.  They may have physical/mental limitations.  So what do those kids do?  Also, if you are being bullied by a group of people then defending yourself might not work even if you tried.

Yes, don't let yourself be a pushover, but the "learn to defend yourself" answer doesn't always work.  Something needs to be done about the bully.  Otherwise we are just going to end up with even more Columbines.


Absolutely true, but we need to stop punishing the ones who can defend themselves. And we need to stop the post-Columbine idiocy of treating the victims as potential criminals.
 
2014-04-17 02:16:45 PM  

advex101: I taught my kid to respond quickly and strongly to bullies at an early age.  Bullies go to the point of least resistance.  Plenty of other sheep that they can go bother besides you.  He will graduate from high school this year.

//pushing him into sports didn't hurt either.  The rest of the team can be useful allies in a bully situation.


This.  I was told to ignore verbal taunts but if anyone touched me then it was game on.  Only one person did during my sophomore year of high school and I broke her nose with my algebra book.  Then again, these days telling someone you don't like their shirt is considered bullying so I don't know.
 
2014-04-17 02:16:48 PM  

FloridaFarkTag: JerkyMeat: Rule #1 - Use overwhelming force to permanently disable the bully.

That should be rule #1

The only way you stop bullying is to defend yourself. Nothing stops a bully more than a fat lip and a black eye

We have a bullying problem because PsychoBabblelists value attackers more than those who defend themselves


If they knock you down, take out one of their knees. After they fall down, you can kick them till they stop moving.
If they don't knock you down, kick/knee/punch them in the groin. After they fall down, you can kick them till they stop moving.
 
2014-04-17 02:19:23 PM  
This is basically just the "you should never defend your home or property because you might hurt the criminal" mantra, only scaled down to grade school instead of homeowners.

Yep stupid.
 
2014-04-17 02:20:13 PM  

Any Pie Left: Sometimes, hitting the bully stops it.  Unless the bully is a true sociopath, in which case, he gets three friends to help him jump you to "even the score" and re-establish dominance, using your face. While it always works in movies, in real life, physically fighting back gives even odds of escalating the violence.


In my experience it keeps more flies off than not. And when someone is trying to dominate and cause pain he's generally not interested in risking serious injury. Escalation past the point where what he wants is worth what he wants to pay is a pretty good strategy.
 
2014-04-17 02:26:19 PM  
Reality vs. fantasy time.

Not telling is, in fact, GREAT advice. Tattlers get extra beatdowns.
 
2014-04-17 02:27:08 PM  

Pincy: theprinceofwands: Sick and wrong. I was mercilessly bullied as a kid. I can tell you there is only one rule for dealing with a bully: learn to defend yourself, and use that skill to beat your attackers within an inch of their life. THAT is the only effective means to stop bullying and improve your situation.

I somewhat agree with the sentiment but not all kids who are bullied are able to defend themselves.  They may have physical/mental limitations.  So what do those kids do?  Also, if you are being bullied by a group of people then defending yourself might not work even if you tried.

Yes, don't let yourself be a pushover, but the "learn to defend yourself" answer doesn't always work.  Something needs to be done about the bully.  Otherwise we are just going to end up with even more Columbines.


This is true but it's an outlier, not the common problem. Fix the big issue first, then do what has to be done to address the random incidents. Honestly even correcting the bulk of 'average' bullying would probably begin to have impact on those unusual exceptions you talk about.
 
2014-04-17 02:27:53 PM  

What_do_you_want_now: FloridaFarkTag: JerkyMeat: Rule #1 - Use overwhelming force to permanently disable the bully.

That should be rule #1

The only way you stop bullying is to defend yourself. Nothing stops a bully more than a fat lip and a black eye

We have a bullying problem because PsychoBabblelists value attackers more than those who defend themselves

<CSB>
In elementary school I was bullied pretty often, mostly because I would just sit and read books rather than play. I was new in town (military parents who moved often) and had no friends, so I was a prime target. I also had a streak of insurrection which continues to this day so I would do my best to not let the bully have his way.

One day a bully blindsides me and smashes my face into the ground. He walks away laughing and I go tell a teacher who said "We didn't see it so we can't enforce it.". When I got home, my father asked me what happened and I told him. He is the most understanding and underestimated badass I've ever known (He was Air Force Special Forces, 6'2 and incredibly fit, and has confirmed kills with both rifle and knife) and told me if a bully ever did that to me that I should immediately try to beat his ass. He also said if I got in trouble for it he would be there to tell off the school about their treatment.

Two days pass, bully does it again. I snap and go apeshiat on him and wind up giving him more than he bargained for. Teacher breaks us up and I am "the aggressor" and get immediate ISS. It took my father only 15 minutes of getting the phone call to come down to the school and have heated words with the administration about their "farking idiocy" and "knee-jerk stupidity" having me in trouble for defending myself.

Needless to say the resource officer was called, and a discussion happened. I have no farking clue how it went down but I had the administrator come out and apologize to me. He then asks for the bully's name and calls him in. The bully is then told he is not only suspended, but expelled. ...


This was the problem I had. I always tried the 'ignore them, and they'll get bored and leave you alone' method. It never worked. It became a challenge to the bully to see just how much they could fark with you before you broke. Telling the school didn't work because if the child is an asshole, then the parents are most likely gonna be assholes, and no school administrator doesn't want meth-mom and crack dad showing up in their wife-beaters and alcohol breath to yell at them for daring to suggest little Sluggo isn't anything but the perfect snowflake. I was in the 9th grade before I finaly had enough. Some bastard in my class made it his life's mission to fark with me every day. Punching me in the hall. Kicking me in class. Booting my ass when I was trying to piss and making me wiener the urinal. So one day after being punched in the back of the head in the bathroom, I am going to my seat (he sat two chairs in front of me) and he trips me as a walk to my desk, sending me to the floor. I say "fark this" and punch him in his Goddamn ear. Of course that is the incident the social studies teacher (also gym teacer) happens to see. Not the last month of the kid hitting me every day in class. Not the bastard tripping me 4 seconds earlier, but me hitting him. Of course the kid is all like "Teacher! did you see what he did??" and the teacher says "That's it, I will not put up with that in my classroom (starting now apparently) go to the principal's office." So I gather up my stuff, and as I walk past him, I give him a punch right to the top of the shoulder, right at the rotator cuff just for good measure, and because fark it, I'm already in trouble.

I get to the principal's office and explain what happened to the secritary. She says "well it's last period. Just hang out here for half an hour and then go home". That kid never farked with me again. If I ever had kids with a bully problem, I'll tell them straight up to defend themselves. If I find my kid is being a bully, I'm going to put a stop to that shiat right quick.
 
2014-04-17 02:28:25 PM  
Doesn't surprise me most farkers don't get it.
 
2014-04-17 02:30:19 PM  

scottydoesntknow: LeroyBourne: Interesting.  It's basically promoting everyone to be bullies.

When everyone is a bully, no one is a bully.


When bullies are outlawed, only outlaws will bully.
 
2014-04-17 02:31:58 PM  
www.impulsegamer.com
Knows how to deal with bullies.

"I didn't just want to win that fight, I wanted to win all the nexts ones too, right then, so they'd leave me alone"
 
2014-04-17 02:32:24 PM  
They should just show this to those little sissies....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PQ6335puOc
 
2014-04-17 02:33:14 PM  

doubled99: Doesn't surprise me most farkers don't get it.


No human with a functioning brain cell would get that bullshiat.
 
2014-04-17 02:37:13 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Rule #2: Treat the person being mean as if they are trying to help you.

Now that I think about it, the bully really was trying to stop me from hitting myself.



This one worked really well when I was 13.  I saw a kid say, "Thank you bully, I needed help with pouring chocolate milk down the back of my pants.  I couldn't have done it without you.  I am ever grateful, and now we can be friends."  From that moment on there was no more bullying.
 
2014-04-17 02:43:27 PM  

FloridaFarkTag: JerkyMeat: Rule #1 - Use overwhelming force to permanently disable the bully.

That should be rule #1

The only way you stop bullying is to defend yourself. Nothing stops a bully more than a fat lip and a black eye

We have a bullying problem because PsychoBabblelists value attackers more than those who defend themselves



That may sound good in theory, but most bullies get where they are because they're skilled at bullying.  Keep in mind the bully may well have fighting skills honed by defending himself against drunk/abusive parents or older siblings, and if you're a regular dweeby kid trying to throw a punch, you're going to get the snot beat out of you.  Christmas Story comuppances pretty much are confined to stories written by adults based on wishful thinking.
 
2014-04-17 02:44:08 PM  
Doesn't surprise me most farkers don't get it.

No human with a functioning brain cell would get that bullshiat.



and that's part of why you were bullied. Still don't get it.
 
2014-04-17 02:47:11 PM  

Witness99: Wendy's Chili: They're not bullies, they're therapy job-creators.

You know, I've seen you in threads the last couple days but not a couple months ago when we actually had a thread about Wendy's Chili. And I told everyone, there's a person here on Fark called Wendy's Chili and he/she should chime in any moment now...but you never showed up.

One day, I tried Wendy's Chili and was surprised at how delicious it was. They should pay you.


You should have used his/her fark ID as the reason you came to Wendy's when you filled out the online survey on the receipt "Reason you came to Wendy's" "Some dude on an online forum had the name 'Wendy's Chili.' Totally elementary." At the very least you would have made some data-entry person's day.
 
2014-04-17 02:47:21 PM  
What you don't want to do is talk shiat to bullies.  I used to be picked on a lot for reading quietly, listening to music, being skinny (read: easy target) and making good grades.  These assholes would fark with me unmercifully, pushing me into lockers, slapping the back of my head whenever they walked by.  Starting rumors involving me and various phallic vegetables (hehe, he likes it up the ass).  Well, I started embarrassing them in class or in front of girls whenever they said something that gave me an in...usually something stupid or obnoxious (i.e., must be tough being illiterate, and also not knowing the meaning of the word illiterate *class chuckles*).   However, this attitude put me in a world of hurt.  I eventually did fight back, which worked for about five days.  At this point, (even though I lost the first fight) they would make sure start fights with me as long as there were two or more assholes present, just to make sure.  Nothing worked until me, a couple of my friends and some other bullied kids (read:fat) banded together and pretty much just hung out in large groups, which deterred the physical assaults.  At that  point, they just kind of gave up trying to attack us and hurled the occasional insult every now and again.

tl,dr: Probably just better to go straight to the punching and overwhelming force when dealing with bullies
 
2014-04-17 02:48:55 PM  

give me doughnuts: If they knock you down, take out one of their knees. After they fall down, you can kick them till they stop moving.
If they don't knock you down, kick/knee/punch them in the groin. After they fall down, you can kick them till they stop moving.


That's the Chicago way.
 
2014-04-17 02:50:07 PM  
This arguably non-violent act worked for me a couple of times in grade and middle school:

Step 1: Run from bully.
Step 2: Lead bully over asphalt or gravel patch on playground.
Step 3: Just as he's catching up to you, drop to your hands and knees and form a turtle-like ball.
Step 4: Watch bully trip over your suddenly prone form and slide for feet across the gravel, carried by his own momentum.
Step 5: Enjoy sight of bully laying in the gravel in a sobbing, bloodied heap as you stand up, dust yourself off, and walk away.

Added bonus: it's indistinguishable from "I tripped as I was running for my life and the guy happened to trip over me while in hot pursuit."
 
2014-04-17 02:51:04 PM  
I missed the rule where it said to stop being a little pussy. Although being a whiny little biatch was covered.
 
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