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(Jezebel)   Nebraska elementary school gives fifth graders nine rules for how to deal with bullies, such as "Treat the bully like they're trying to help you" and "never, ever tell on them"   (jezebel.com) divider line 166
    More: Stupid, treating, elementary schools, graders, sore loser  
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6348 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Apr 2014 at 1:10 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



166 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-17 12:02:41 PM  
In the  not too distant future males will have their balls amputated at birth sand returned to them after they finish college.
 
2014-04-17 12:17:47 PM  
Lincoln has always been a cesspool of a city.

/former Omaha resident
 
2014-04-17 12:22:14 PM  
Some of these are dumb, no question - specifically 4, 7, and 8. 6 is mostly dumb, but just sort of useless (it reiterates point 2).

Aren't 1 and 2 (ironically enough) just rehashings of the teachings of Buddha? Anger as expression of internal conflict and pain, and responding to anger with anger only breeds more anger; while responding with love (a Jesusian ideal, which is, I suspect, where it "really" came from) is best?

3 is common sense - I was bullied in grade school, and showing fear was a great way to let the kid know he was winning. 5 is as well - NEVER be the first to throw a punch (and if you can help it, try not to be the second, either).

And while 9 is dumb as regards bullies, it's good life advice overall. If you can't or don't laugh at yourself, you will quickly find that others readily pick up your slack.
 
2014-04-17 12:57:51 PM  
Nebraska makes Iowa look like a cosmopolitan paradise.
 
2014-04-17 01:01:16 PM  
Rule #2: Treat the person being mean as if they are trying to help you.

Now that I think about it, the bully really was trying to stop me from hitting myself.
 
2014-04-17 01:12:15 PM  
Day 1 of school: Find the biggest kid and break his nose with a paving stone
 
2014-04-17 01:13:05 PM  
In Sweden, bullies are identified early on in grade school. Rather than suppress the trait, the bullies are taught to think of themselves as 'sheep dogs', and their classmates are the flock they protect. They still 'bully' and sometimes berate, but with their behaviour corrected to a useful, or at least more benign role.
 
2014-04-17 01:14:07 PM  
Snitches get stitches.
 
2014-04-17 01:14:52 PM  
So your bully just beat you up for your lunch money, what do you do?

Rule #8: Don't be a sore loser.

Stop your whining biatch and take your beating like a man.
 
2014-04-17 01:15:03 PM  
#10 - Wait until your temper bursts and shower your classmates with automatic weapons fire.
 
2014-04-17 01:15:08 PM  
Rule #2: Treat the person being mean as if they are trying to help you.

Perfect training with future interaction with the government.
 
2014-04-17 01:16:13 PM  
#7 just screams "Don't bother school admins with your inter-personal shiat. We've got better things to worry about.
 
2014-04-17 01:17:13 PM  
THANKS, OMAHA!
 
2014-04-17 01:17:49 PM  
Rule #1 - Use overwhelming force to permanently disable the bully.
 
2014-04-17 01:18:21 PM  
"Learn to laugh at yourself"

//because everyone else is laughing at you
 
2014-04-17 01:18:44 PM  
Has other ideas...
www.nerdist.com
 
2014-04-17 01:19:21 PM  
3...OK.

#7 is conditional.

The one to absolutely throw out is #6. Harden the target and the bully will go find someone else.
 
2014-04-17 01:20:05 PM  
Rule #1, shank the bully in the chow line.
 
2014-04-17 01:20:13 PM  

Delawheredad: In the  not too distant future males will have their balls amputated at birth sand returned to them after they finish college.

(favorite: After years of a vanilla existence i am now in a submissive relationship to a Dominant female)

 
2014-04-17 01:20:14 PM  
Favorite is #4 - Do not verbally defend yourselves (that's not the best part) the best is why - We defend ourselves from enemies

Thus the implication is the bully is not the enemy.  Who the hell wrote this?  Maybe this is an Onion article?
 
2014-04-17 01:20:52 PM  
jp3.r0tt.com
I hope the victims are given the same courtesy from the establishment when things get all bootstrappy.
 
2014-04-17 01:21:20 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Rule #2: Treat the person being mean as if they are trying to help you.

Now that I think about it, the bully really was trying to stop me from hitting myself.


Thank you sir, may I have another.
 
2014-04-17 01:21:27 PM  

letrole: In Sweden, bullies are identified early on in grade school. Rather than suppress the trait, the bullies are taught to think of themselves as 'sheep dogs', and their classmates are the flock they protect. They still 'bully' and sometimes berate, but with their behaviour corrected to a useful, or at least more benign role.


Is this the principal?

ficassets.fichub.com
 
2014-04-17 01:21:37 PM  
#11 stop hitting yourself
 
2014-04-17 01:22:21 PM  
10. Borrow Mommy's gun when she's not looking...
 
2014-04-17 01:22:36 PM  
I always wished my parents would have told me, "smash their faces in with the biggest textbook you have and we'll tell the teachers and other brat's parents to go to hell later."

/that's probably what I'll tell my kids if I ever have any
 
2014-04-17 01:22:54 PM  
I really hope this is satire.
 
2014-04-17 01:24:29 PM  

Delawheredad: In the  not too distant future males will have their balls amputated at birth sand returned to them after they finish college.


These aren't mine!
They aren't even the right color!
 
2014-04-17 01:24:51 PM  

Dr Dreidel: Some of these are dumb, no question - specifically 4, 7, and 8. 6 is mostly dumb, but just sort of useless (it reiterates point 2).

Aren't 1 and 2 (ironically enough) just rehashings of the teachings of Buddha? Anger as expression of internal conflict and pain, and responding to anger with anger only breeds more anger; while responding with love (a Jesusian ideal, which is, I suspect, where it "really" came from) is best?

3 is common sense - I was bullied in grade school, and showing fear was a great way to let the kid know he was winning. 5 is as well - NEVER be the first to throw a punch (and if you can help it, try not to be the second, either).

And while 9 is dumb as regards bullies, it's good life advice overall. If you can't or don't laugh at yourself, you will quickly find that others readily pick up your slack.


Dude, always throw the second punch. You'll be suspended either way, might as well make it worth while and get some shots in for your trouble.
 
2014-04-17 01:25:05 PM  
Interesting.  It's basically promoting everyone to be bullies.
 
2014-04-17 01:26:32 PM  

techgeek07: I really hope this is satire.


i assumed that it was satire.  either that, or written by a bully.
 
2014-04-17 01:26:32 PM  

JerkyMeat: Rule #1 - Use overwhelming force to permanently disable the bully.


That should be rule #1

The only way you stop bullying is to defend yourself. Nothing stops a bully more than a fat lip and a black eye

We have a bullying problem because PsychoBabblelists value attackers more than those who defend themselves
 
2014-04-17 01:27:16 PM  

LeroyBourne: Interesting.  It's basically promoting everyone to be bullies.


When everyone is a bully, no one is a bully.
 
2014-04-17 01:29:22 PM  
Sick and wrong. I was mercilessly bullied as a kid. I can tell you there is only one rule for dealing with a bully: learn to defend yourself, and use that skill to beat your attackers within an inch of their life. THAT is the only effective means to stop bullying and improve your situation.
 
2014-04-17 01:30:07 PM  

pute kisses like a man: either that, or written by a bully.


Or someone who has never been bullied and thereby is completely clueless as to what it's like to be bullied.
 
2014-04-17 01:30:26 PM  
I remember a kid three times my size beating on me in art class.  I went to tell the teacher, and she yelled at me to sit back down.

That's all I've really got.  If I could give younger me advice, it'd be to tell her to go fark herself and storm out.
 
2014-04-17 01:30:44 PM  
They're not bullies, they're therapy job-creators.
 
2014-04-17 01:31:10 PM  

FloridaFarkTag: JerkyMeat: Rule #1 - Use overwhelming force to permanently disable the bully.

That should be rule #1

The only way you stop bullying is to defend yourself. Nothing stops a bully more than a fat lip and a black eye

We have a bullying problem because PsychoBabblelists value attackers more than those who defend themselves


I advocated this in a college course once. The instructor pointed out that not all children are physically capable of standing up to their bully physically. My suggestion to use a baseball bat was not well received.
 
2014-04-17 01:31:17 PM  

letrole: In Sweden, bullies are identified early on in grade school. Rather than suppress the trait, the bullies are taught to think of themselves as 'sheep dogs', and their classmates are the flock they protect. They still 'bully' and sometimes berate, but with their behaviour corrected to a useful, or at least more benign role.


And that's how most towns in the old days picked a sheriff!
 
2014-04-17 01:32:02 PM  
I love how TFA is so indignant about the fact that the correction was sent to the parents and not the children. It goes on to lament but what will the kids do/think/know, etc.

Have we come to a point of such a lack of parenting that parents are no longer entrusted or expected to convey this info to their kids? Great if the school also has training for the kids, I just think the lack of expectation for the parent to pass on the info is funny.
 
2014-04-17 01:32:31 PM  

FloridaFarkTag: JerkyMeat: Rule #1 - Use overwhelming force to permanently disable the bully.

That should be rule #1

The only way you stop bullying is to defend yourself. Nothing stops a bully more than a fat lip and a black eye

We have a bullying problem because PsychoBabblelists value attackers more than those who defend themselves


i realized i wasn't going to beat the bully in a fair fight.  so, when he started to punch me, I punched his fist as hard as i could.

he went down holding his hand i walked away.  never messed with by that guy again.

/ the first time i tried to take on a bully, i broke my hand on his face.  so, i started trying to toughen up my hands at a young age.  bad idea, now they're crap hands that hurt all the time. but, effective for punching walls without pain... as a child.

// one more thing, sun tzu says the first to violence is the weaker position, so, the defender is the stronger position, stupid pamphlet
 
2014-04-17 01:33:12 PM  
That's some of the worst advice I've seen in years. Could you imagine that being adapted for an anti rape program?
 
2014-04-17 01:33:28 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: 10. Borrow Mommy's gun when she's not looking...


...and 11. Let the Bodies Hit the Floor!

/was bullied
 
2014-04-17 01:35:33 PM  
there's a reason they called the old colts Equalizers. Just steal your parents guns and shoot everyone who is "bullying" you. That'll do it
 
2014-04-17 01:35:33 PM  

Russ1642: #10 - Wait until your temper bursts and shower your classmates with automatic weapons fire.


Seriously. It should have just read: bottle up all your emotions and do what you're told by those stronger than you. Then, around age 40, watch Michael Douglas in _Falling Down_ and do what he did.

/which is just about the point I'm at, not coincidentally
 
2014-04-17 01:35:53 PM  
Principal: "Hey, did you send out this unauthorized advice on bullying?"

Counselor: "Um. Yeah. Why? You seem upset, but I..."

[Principal slowly turns his H.S. Class of 1986 ring on his finger so stone is facing his palm]

Principal: "NOOGIES!"
 
2014-04-17 01:37:15 PM  

Wendy's Chili: They're not bullies, they're therapy job-creators.


You know, I've seen you in threads the last couple days but not a couple months ago when we actually had a thread about Wendy's Chili. And I told everyone, there's a person here on Fark called Wendy's Chili and he/she should chime in any moment now...but you never showed up.

One day, I tried Wendy's Chili and was surprised at how delicious it was. They should pay you.
 
2014-04-17 01:38:36 PM  

theprinceofwands: Sick and wrong. I was mercilessly bullied as a kid. I can tell you there is only one rule for dealing with a bully: learn to defend yourself, and use that skill to beat your attackers within an inch of their life. THAT is the only effective means to stop bullying and improve your situation.


I somewhat agree with the sentiment but not all kids who are bullied are able to defend themselves.  They may have physical/mental limitations.  So what do those kids do?  Also, if you are being bullied by a group of people then defending yourself might not work even if you tried.

Yes, don't let yourself be a pushover, but the "learn to defend yourself" answer doesn't always work.  Something needs to be done about the bully.  Otherwise we are just going to end up with even more Columbines.
 
2014-04-17 01:38:42 PM  

scottydoesntknow: LeroyBourne: Interesting.  It's basically promoting everyone to be bullies.

When everyone is a bully, no one is a bully.


Exactly.  In theory it would work, it just sounds like pure chaos.  I wonder if they make Lord of the Flies mandatory reading like when I was young.  These farking kids could learn something, even the bullies.
 
2014-04-17 01:38:50 PM  

letrole: In Sweden, bullies are identified early on in grade school. Rather than suppress the trait, the bullies are taught to think of themselves as 'sheep dogs', and their classmates are the flock they protect. They still 'bully' and sometimes berate, but with their behaviour corrected to a useful, or at least more benign role.


Well, that sounds just like Animal Farm. Upon graduation do the "sheep dogs' automatically enter the police academy.
 
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