Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Comics Alliance)   DC will finally publish Grant Morrison's fan fiction multiseries "Multiversity" this August in their Sisyphean hope to try and make Superman and Aquaman half as interesting or successful as Iron Man or Thor   (comicsalliance.com ) divider line 75
    More: Followup, Grant Morrison, District of Columbia, Iron Man, Frank Quitely, Superman, Aquaman, ComicsAlliance, page spread  
•       •       •

1535 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 17 Apr 2014 at 1:14 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



75 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-04-17 10:03:59 PM  

Team Nemesis: Brock Sampson > Superman


Brock > He-Man (don't forget Superman and He-Man met and He-Man won; granted Skeletor was taking advantage of Kal El's infamous glass jaw to magic and using the Last Son of Krypton as his biatch at the time)
 
2014-04-17 10:59:15 PM  

Jedekai: PIP_the_TROLL: Combustion: killzoe: Did subby just call Superman a sissy?

I'd have used much harsher language.

Batman > Superman.

Bullshiat.

[seekersofthebat.com image 640x660]

No; really - Batman wins.

JLA - Batman already knows how to crush him without Clark even noticing. White Kryptonite in the Metropolis water system. Harmless to humans - drains Superman.
This is not his first option. He has OODLES of others.

Non-canonical: The Dark Knight Returns.

Really non-canonical: one of the writers (Mark Waid) for Superman "back in the day" said the only thing that Superman would stand no chance against in a fair fight were Batman, John Constantine and Venom (suit only). Against everything else he has a fighting chance.


I wonder I Venom could bond with a Kryptonian? That would be "nuke the site from orbit and cross your fingers" scary
 
2014-04-17 11:05:17 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim: Jedekai: PIP_the_TROLL: Combustion: killzoe: Did subby just call Superman a sissy?

I'd have used much harsher language.

Batman > Superman.

Bullshiat.

[seekersofthebat.com image 640x660]

No; really - Batman wins.

JLA - Batman already knows how to crush him without Clark even noticing. White Kryptonite in the Metropolis water system. Harmless to humans - drains Superman.
This is not his first option. He has OODLES of others.

Non-canonical: The Dark Knight Returns.

Really non-canonical: one of the writers (Mark Waid) for Superman "back in the day" said the only thing that Superman would stand no chance against in a fair fight were Batman, John Constantine and Venom (suit only). Against everything else he has a fighting chance.

I wonder I Venom could bond with a Kryptonian? That would be "nuke the site from orbit and cross your fingers" scary


They made supergirl a red lantern recently.  A green one would probably be better...but ya, Kryptonian with extra rage powers and plasma blood vomit
 
2014-04-17 11:17:20 PM  
The only thing that keeps superman from killing batman is his complete disinterest in killing batman. Like I always say, of he were actually moved to kill batman ... He could just fly up to the mom, rub one out while fantasizing about batman's mom, take a dump, then glance up and divert an asteroid with heat vision and drop it right or Bruce Wayne. Or he could just fly up to him real quick when he's pinching a loaf and turn him into a diamond with his ass cheeks
 
2014-04-17 11:54:56 PM  
I have a question for the comic fans of Fark regarding Superman.

I only rarely pick up the occasional graphic novel/comic on the recommendations of friends, so I'm not fully aware of all the incarnations/stories/etc. that have happened in those comics. With that in mind:

Does he ever actually learn to fight?

I *have* seen plenty of animated versions, movie versions, TV versions, video game versions etc. It seems he has 3 moves: Barreling into his opponent like a high school wrestler (often through walls,) slow and telegraphed haymaker punches, and random power gimmick of the day.

Is there a comic where the dude actually displays some of the higher level fighting skill we've seen from other superheroes, or in other media where the main character has to beat up the bad guy (action movies, anime, manga etc.)?

If so I'd be interested in looking it up. Because let's face it -- the mainstream versions of Superman most of us non-comic readers are familiar with always seems to just win his fights because plot. Not through actual ability or anything commendable. I think that's a big part of the backlash against him.

As a followup if there is such a version: Why hasn't it caught on?
 
2014-04-17 11:59:37 PM  

Jensaarai: It seems he has 3 moves: Barreling into his opponent like a high school wrestler (often through walls,) slow and telegraphed haymaker punches, and random power gimmick of the day.


Oh, and throwing things/opponents. Usually after lifting them over his head. So 4.
 
2014-04-18 01:01:54 AM  

Jensaarai: I have a question for the comic fans of Fark regarding Superman.

I only rarely pick up the occasional graphic novel/comic on the recommendations of friends, so I'm not fully aware of all the incarnations/stories/etc. that have happened in those comics. With that in mind:

Does he ever actually learn to fight?

I *have* seen plenty of animated versions, movie versions, TV versions, video game versions etc. It seems he has 3 moves: Barreling into his opponent like a high school wrestler (often through walls,) slow and telegraphed haymaker punches, and random power gimmick of the day.

Is there a comic where the dude actually displays some of the higher level fighting skill we've seen from other superheroes, or in other media where the main character has to beat up the bad guy (action movies, anime, manga etc.)?

If so I'd be interested in looking it up. Because let's face it -- the mainstream versions of Superman most of us non-comic readers are familiar with always seems to just win his fights because plot. Not through actual ability or anything commendable. I think that's a big part of the backlash against him.

As a followup if there is such a version: Why hasn't it caught on?


ok I'm gonna go punch myself in the nuts for knowing this but Superman knows Horo-Kanu which is a Kryptonian martial art that focuses on pressure points. fark my life.....
 
2014-04-18 01:13:47 AM  
I have foreseen that in the upcoming Batman vs Superman movie Kryptonite will be involved.

/I'm just that good.
 
2014-04-18 01:24:15 AM  

Jensaarai: I have a question for the comic fans of Fark regarding Superman.

I only rarely pick up the occasional graphic novel/comic on the recommendations of friends, so I'm not fully aware of all the incarnations/stories/etc. that have happened in those comics. With that in mind:

Does he ever actually learn to fight?

I *have* seen plenty of animated versions, movie versions, TV versions, video game versions etc. It seems he has 3 moves: Barreling into his opponent like a high school wrestler (often through walls,) slow and telegraphed haymaker punches, and random power gimmick of the day.

Is there a comic where the dude actually displays some of the higher level fighting skill we've seen from other superheroes, or in other media where the main character has to beat up the bad guy (action movies, anime, manga etc.)?

If so I'd be interested in looking it up. Because let's face it -- the mainstream versions of Superman most of us non-comic readers are familiar with always seems to just win his fights because plot. Not through actual ability or anything commendable. I think that's a big part of the backlash against him.

As a followup if there is such a version: Why hasn't it caught on?


No that's mostly what he just does.  He's pretty much godlike compared to humans and was raised on a farm.  Not really an upbringing like Batman or Wonder Woman.

Also, for the animated stuff, it kinda depowers him making him fight like that so that every episode isn't just "well....superman instantly beats everyone".  He would fight like Goku if he was using his full strength, since he's technically as fast as flash, but you never see that really in the animated stuff other than when he's flying or racing flash.
 
2014-04-18 01:44:03 AM  
The irony is that during Geoff Johns Aquaman run, it outsold 98% of Marvel Comics out there :P
 
2014-04-18 01:48:34 AM  

Jensaarai: Does he ever actually learn to fight?


He is practiced in the ancient Kryptonian art of Torquasm-Rao :

imageshack.com

He was taught to box by a heavy-weight champion:

imageshack.com

As a prisoner of Mongol on Warworld, he was forced into gladiatorial combat where he displayed hand-to-hand techniques and weapons skills against similarly powered fighters:

imageshack.com

imageshack.com

After Kandor was freed from Brainiac, he joined the Kryptonian military under General Zod.  He also got to show off his experience with pressure points that he picked up from Batman:

imageshack.com

It's safe to assume he learned a thing or two from watching the Amazons.  He even had his cousin train with them:

imageshack.com

Superman definitely knows his moves:

imageshack.com

He's so skilled, you might say his greatest challenge is  . . HIMSELF:

imageshack.com

(Actually, his greatest battle is against bad writers)
 
2014-04-18 01:56:17 AM  

hammer85: Jensaarai: I have a question for the comic fans of Fark regarding Superman.

I only rarely pick up the occasional graphic novel/comic on the recommendations of friends, so I'm not fully aware of all the incarnations/stories/etc. that have happened in those comics. With that in mind:

Does he ever actually learn to fight?

I *have* seen plenty of animated versions, movie versions, TV versions, video game versions etc. It seems he has 3 moves: Barreling into his opponent like a high school wrestler (often through walls,) slow and telegraphed haymaker punches, and random power gimmick of the day.

Is there a comic where the dude actually displays some of the higher level fighting skill we've seen from other superheroes, or in other media where the main character has to beat up the bad guy (action movies, anime, manga etc.)?

If so I'd be interested in looking it up. Because let's face it -- the mainstream versions of Superman most of us non-comic readers are familiar with always seems to just win his fights because plot. Not through actual ability or anything commendable. I think that's a big part of the backlash against him.

As a followup if there is such a version: Why hasn't it caught on?

No that's mostly what he just does.  He's pretty much godlike compared to humans and was raised on a farm.  Not really an upbringing like Batman or Wonder Woman.

Also, for the animated stuff, it kinda depowers him making him fight like that so that every episode isn't just "well....superman instantly beats everyone".  He would fight like Goku if he was using his full strength, since he's technically as fast as flash, but you never see that really in the animated stuff other than when he's flying or racing flash.


He can fight. He's shown that in the past when de-powered or forced to fight 'human style' as Clark Kent.

But in full on Superman form, there's hardly any point. He's pulling all his punches anyway, rarely operating above like 10% strength.

This is a guy that could punch through the Hoover Dam with very little effort. Concentrating that power into Batman-style targeted ninja strikes would seem like a laughable conceit.

As the learned gentlemen above pointed out, however, he does know how to fight with more precision. And things like that usually come out when he's up against someone as strong and invulnerable as he is, like Darkseid, Mongol, Doomsday, etc.

There's also tradition to consider. Superman's creators based him on circus strongmen. (hence the tights and shorts on the outside). His fighting style - when drawn - is essentially a series of strongman poses. It's Samson or Hercules in a cape.
 
2014-04-18 04:50:11 AM  
Thanks for the replies, guys. I know this is Fark, where snark generally rules, but I was genuinely curious and knew you'd deliver.

I'll probably never be a huge fan of the character, but I always wind up checking out his stories sooner or later, even if I make fun of him. Seems to me like a lot of these skills are revealed later in his story, and considering the constant need to rehash his origin story/early days with the whole Lois Lane thing in mainstream media adaptations, it makes a bit more sense for a depowered, clumsy-but-just-strong-enough version seems to be the one most of us non-comic readers have in mind when we think of him.

I kinda wonder what would happen if they gave him the 200+ episode action anime-style treatment. Yeah, I know that's what DBZ was trying to be in some ways, but I'd like to see what could be done with the actual IP, revealing some of these aspects of the character after the main story everyone knows is all said and done.
 
2014-04-18 04:56:57 AM  

rocky_howard: The irony is that during Geoff Johns Aquaman run, it outsold 98% of Marvel Comics out there :P


No, the name "Geoff Johns" sold. Aquaman didn't.

Because fanboys are not yet sick of Johns's hackery, his name sells books, no matter how shiatty they are. That's what sold. It could have been Aquaman by Geoff Johns, Inferior 5 by Geoff Johns, or Buckets of shiat by Geoff Johns, and it would have sod roughly the same amount.

And now that he's gone, the book has slid merrily back down to mediocrity, and will eventually slide to cancellation levels, like the rest of DC's shiatty books. Then we can have NuNu52: The Nuening! Or maybe, Johns and Didio and the rest will find themselves replaced by people who aren't morons.
 
2014-04-18 09:13:15 AM  

PIP_the_TROLL: JX vs Y is a long tradition in comic fandom. If you want to make it interesting... what about Batman vs Black Panther.


media.tumblr.com
 
2014-04-18 09:24:47 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: rocky_howard: The irony is that during Geoff Johns Aquaman run, it outsold 98% of Marvel Comics out there :P

No, the name "Geoff Johns" sold. Aquaman didn't.

Because fanboys are not yet sick of Johns's hackery, his name sells books, no matter how shiatty they are. That's what sold. It could have been Aquaman by Geoff Johns, Inferior 5 by Geoff Johns, or Buckets of shiat by Geoff Johns, and it would have sod roughly the same amount.

And now that he's gone, the book has slid merrily back down to mediocrity, and will eventually slide to cancellation levels, like the rest of DC's shiatty books. Then we can have NuNu52: The Nuening! Or maybe, Johns and Didio and the rest will find themselves replaced by people who aren't morons.


By the almighty, I can't believe the Geoff Johns that had a really good run on "The Avengers" and made "Green Lantern" popular again has slid down into craptacularness.
 
2014-04-18 09:31:34 AM  

Rwa2play: FirstNationalBastard: rocky_howard: The irony is that during Geoff Johns Aquaman run, it outsold 98% of Marvel Comics out there :P

No, the name "Geoff Johns" sold. Aquaman didn't.

Because fanboys are not yet sick of Johns's hackery, his name sells books, no matter how shiatty they are. That's what sold. It could have been Aquaman by Geoff Johns, Inferior 5 by Geoff Johns, or Buckets of shiat by Geoff Johns, and it would have sod roughly the same amount.

And now that he's gone, the book has slid merrily back down to mediocrity, and will eventually slide to cancellation levels, like the rest of DC's shiatty books. Then we can have NuNu52: The Nuening! Or maybe, Johns and Didio and the rest will find themselves replaced by people who aren't morons.

By the almighty, I can't believe the Geoff Johns that had a really good run on "The Avengers" and made "Green Lantern" popular again has slid down into craptacularness.


The Geoff Johns who wrote JSA and Stars and STRIPE had an editor who could tell him no.

NuJohns is the boss, and can crap out whatever he pleases.
 
2014-04-18 11:30:31 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: rocky_howard: The irony is that during Geoff Johns Aquaman run, it outsold 98% of Marvel Comics out there :P

No, the name "Geoff Johns" sold. Aquaman didn't.

Because fanboys are not yet sick of Johns's hackery, his name sells books, no matter how shiatty they are. That's what sold. It could have been Aquaman by Geoff Johns, Inferior 5 by Geoff Johns, or Buckets of shiat by Geoff Johns, and it would have sod roughly the same amount.

And now that he's gone, the book has slid merrily back down to mediocrity, and will eventually slide to cancellation levels, like the rest of DC's shiatty books. Then we can have NuNu52: The Nuening! Or maybe, Johns and Didio and the rest will find themselves replaced by people who aren't morons.


Johns Aquaman was great...his finale on GL sucked though (the last two issues were good but holy shiat the third army/volthoom stuff dragged on way too long).  I'm enjoying the Pak stuff so far, though it isn't "epic" in scope like throne of atlantis.

It gave us this  http://cdn.culturemass.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/GL-20-INT.jpg  splash though which I love.

Looking at the March sales list...I'm surprised Harley Quinn is so high.  I knew she was popular but she's the 5th best selling book they have.
 
2014-04-18 12:11:22 PM  

hammer85: It gave us this http://cdn.culturemass.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/GL-20-INT.jpg splash though which I love.


Ugh, I can't stand Hal Jordan.
 
2014-04-18 12:20:41 PM  

PIP_the_TROLL: hammer85: It gave us this http://cdn.culturemass.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/GL-20-INT.jpg splash though which I love.

Ugh, I can't stand Hal Jordan.


Still better than John Stewart and overpowered god kyle.

I'm a Guy fan myself, but I'm also from near baltimore, so that issue where he takes the reds there was hilarious for me.
 
2014-04-18 01:42:22 PM  

JohnBigBootay: Rwa2play: Also known as "another attempt by DC to stay relevant".

The next person who utters the phrase 'stay relevant' in my presence gets a cock punch. Relevant to what? They give two shiats about being relevant to anything. I suspect that what this is really about is selling shiat and making money, don't you?



Shut up, Big-booty, you coward. You are the weakest individual I ever know
 
2014-04-18 04:20:36 PM  

hammer85: PIP_the_TROLL: hammer85: It gave us this http://cdn.culturemass.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/GL-20-INT.jpg splash though which I love.

Ugh, I can't stand Hal Jordan.

Still better than John Stewart and overpowered god kyle.

I'm a Guy fan myself, but I'm also from near Baltimore, so that issue where he takes the reds there was hilarious for me.


John Stewart is my favorite. He's the only competent human Green Lantern.

Hal Jordan - Arrogant Asshole. Uncreative. Dumb as a box of flies. And has he ever met an assignment he didn't fark up?

Guy Gardner - Also an asshole, but at least he's consistent. He's a dick that knows he's a dick. Other than that, intensely loyal and Stewart's best friend.

Kyle Rayner - Total moron and a complete Mary Sue. I've never understood his popularity.
 
2014-04-18 05:23:48 PM  

PIP_the_TROLL: hammer85: PIP_the_TROLL: hammer85: It gave us this http://cdn.culturemass.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/GL-20-INT.jpg splash though which I love.

Ugh, I can't stand Hal Jordan.

Still better than John Stewart and overpowered god kyle.

I'm a Guy fan myself, but I'm also from near Baltimore, so that issue where he takes the reds there was hilarious for me.

John Stewart is my favorite. He's the only competent human Green Lantern.

Hal Jordan - Arrogant Asshole. Uncreative. Dumb as a box of flies. And has he ever met an assignment he didn't fark up?

Guy Gardner - Also an asshole, but at least he's consistent. He's a dick that knows he's a dick. Other than that, intensely loyal and Stewart's best friend.

Kyle Rayner - Total moron and a complete Mary Sue. I've never understood his popularity.


I'm coming around to new 52 John since GL Corps is finally dealing with him as a character rather than second fiddle to Guy, but seriously, Fatality needs to go.  Just like Carol/Kyle, the relationships just don't work.  I want to see more John + Jruk and less "when this is over lets totally bang".

Hal doesn't really fark up missions, he just makes bad situations worse, but always manages to pull a win out of his ass.  I mean, when you're plan is to kill yourself to become the next Black Lantern so you can save the universe, you're either doing something horribly wrong or horribly right.

Also, the GL:TAS did a good job with Hal as a character which made him you know, not dumb as a box of files to progress the plot forward.  Him vs Atrocious was an awesome throwdown."He's too stubborn to fall down".

But ya, fark Kyle.  I'll probably be dropping New Guardians real soon.
 
2014-04-18 05:40:09 PM  

hammer85: PIP_the_TROLL: hammer85: PIP_the_TROLL: hammer85: It gave us this http://cdn.culturemass.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/GL-20-INT.jpg splash though which I love.

Ugh, I can't stand Hal Jordan.

Still better than John Stewart and overpowered god kyle.

I'm a Guy fan myself, but I'm also from near Baltimore, so that issue where he takes the reds there was hilarious for me.

John Stewart is my favorite. He's the only competent human Green Lantern.

Hal Jordan - Arrogant Asshole. Uncreative. Dumb as a box of flies. And has he ever met an assignment he didn't fark up?

Guy Gardner - Also an asshole, but at least he's consistent. He's a dick that knows he's a dick. Other than that, intensely loyal and Stewart's best friend.

Kyle Rayner - Total moron and a complete Mary Sue. I've never understood his popularity.

I'm coming around to new 52 John since GL Corps is finally dealing with him as a character rather than second fiddle to Guy, but seriously, Fatality needs to go.  Just like Carol/Kyle, the relationships just don't work.  I want to see more John + Jruk and less "when this is over lets totally bang".

Hal doesn't really fark up missions, he just makes bad situations worse, but always manages to pull a win out of his ass.  I mean, when you're plan is to kill yourself to become the next Black Lantern so you can save the universe, you're either doing something horribly wrong or horribly right.

Also, the GL:TAS did a good job with Hal as a character which made him you know, not dumb as a box of files to progress the plot forward.  Him vs Atrocious was an awesome throwdown."He's too stubborn to fall down".

But ya, fark Kyle.  I'll probably be dropping New Guardians real soon.


Cartoon Hal definitely was the man, they need to bring that show back. I still don't see him ever really taking on Batman though, but I could see John Stewart doing it with or without the ring. We've all seen what happens with Guy Gardner pisses off the Bat enough.
 
2014-04-18 05:51:55 PM  

hammer85: Hal doesn't really fark up missions, he just makes bad situations worse, but always manages to pull a win out of his ass.


That's what I hate. I hate when characters win when they shouldn't. It's not even deus ex machina. It's simple plot armor.

Crotchrocket Slim: I could see John Stewart doing it with or without the ring.


I kind of wonder how that would go down. Stewart is disciplined and even-tempered. Batman's mind games wouldn't work on him.
 
Displayed 25 of 75 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report