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(Comics Alliance)   DC will finally publish Grant Morrison's fan fiction multiseries "Multiversity" this August in their Sisyphean hope to try and make Superman and Aquaman half as interesting or successful as Iron Man or Thor   (comicsalliance.com) divider line 75
    More: Followup, Grant Morrison, District of Columbia, Iron Man, Frank Quitely, Superman, Aquaman, ComicsAlliance, page spread  
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1498 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 17 Apr 2014 at 1:14 PM (14 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



75 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-17 01:21:47 PM
Grant Morrison is the Mexican Buffet of comic books. When you first start, everything is amazing, and you can't enough. But pretty quickly, it all turns in to a heap of watery shiat.
 
2014-04-17 01:26:58 PM

Hebalo: Grant Morrison is the Mexican Buffet of comic books. When you first start, everything is amazing, and you can't enough. But pretty quickly, it all turns in to a heap of watery shiat.


You just don't take enough of the right drugs. It's well known that Grant consumes copious amounts of hash and LSD to fuel his writing.
 
2014-04-17 01:31:15 PM
Did subby just call Superman a sissy?
 
2014-04-17 01:33:11 PM
Also known as "another attempt by DC to stay relevant".
 
2014-04-17 01:40:36 PM

killzoe: Did subby just call Superman a sissy?


I'd have used much harsher language.

Batman > Superman.
 
2014-04-17 01:42:03 PM

Rwa2play: Also known as "another attempt by DC to stay relevant".


The next person who utters the phrase 'stay relevant' in my presence gets a cock punch. Relevant to what? They give two shiats about being relevant to anything. I suspect that what this is really about is selling shiat and making money, don't you?
 
2014-04-17 01:49:22 PM

JohnBigBootay: Rwa2play: Also known as "another attempt by DC to stay relevant".

The next person who utters the phrase 'stay relevant' in my presence gets a cock punch. Relevant to what? They give two shiats about being relevant to anything. I suspect that what this is really about is selling shiat and making money, don't you?


Pertinent observation, my friend.
 
2014-04-17 01:53:25 PM

JohnBigBootay: Rwa2play: Also known as "another attempt by DC to stay relevant".

The next person who utters the phrase 'stay relevant' in my presence gets a cock punch. Relevant to what? They give two shiats about being relevant to anything. I suspect that what this is really about is selling shiat and making money, don't you?


On that note, then I would wager they want to stay relevant to the general public, who are the people that are going to buy their crap and make them money.

Yes, they do need to stay relevant to, at the very least, their consumers.
 
2014-04-17 01:53:27 PM

JohnBigBootay: Rwa2play: Also known as "another attempt by DC to stay relevant".

The next person who utters the phrase 'stay relevant' in my presence gets a cock punch. Relevant to what? They give two shiats about being relevant to anything. I suspect that what this is really about is selling shiat and making money, don't you?


Somebody piss in your Wheaties this morning or you just have a terminal case of PMS?
 
2014-04-17 01:54:31 PM
For some odd reason, I know he is Scottish, I imagined him to sound like Patrick Stewart (maybe because they are both bald?).  Or at least like Sean Connery.  When I finally heard his voice on Kevin Smith's Fatman on Batman podcast, it is just very very far from what I expected.
 
2014-04-17 01:56:05 PM

Rwa2play: JohnBigBootay: Rwa2play: Also known as "another attempt by DC to stay relevant".

The next person who utters the phrase 'stay relevant' in my presence gets a cock punch. Relevant to what? They give two shiats about being relevant to anything. I suspect that what this is really about is selling shiat and making money, don't you?

Somebody piss in your Wheaties this morning or you just have a terminal case of PMS?


*cock punch*

Aslo, subby can choke on a bowl of flaming dicks and burn to death from the inside out.  I've been looking forward to him getting to do this for almost a decade now.
 
2014-04-17 01:56:45 PM
Superman and Aquaman  ARE as interesting as Iron Man and Thor.  I have read versions that were incredibly fun to follow (Superman in late 80s/early 90s, Aquaman with Peter David writing) and kept me coming back month after month.

Thing is, DC has to give up on fapping to the silver age version of every character and start writing stories about modern and innovative characters again, instead of focusing OCD-like on gimmicks and homages
 
2014-04-17 02:21:07 PM

Rwa2play: Somebody piss in your Wheaties this morning or you just have a terminal case of PMS?


Vaginitis actually. I'm just sick of the expression and then you walked by and the rest is history.
 
2014-04-17 02:43:31 PM
I'm just waiting for the rest of All Star Batman and Robin.
 
2014-04-17 02:45:21 PM
aquaman rules.
 
2014-04-17 02:48:56 PM
Well let's see...Superman is a one note superhero with absolutely ZERO interesting characteristics, and Aquaman is the worst superhero ever...you guys have fun with that...

/Let's see a Superman Red Son movie...that would actually be interesting
 
2014-04-17 02:52:25 PM
big question is, is this awesome JLA, We3 Morrison, or What The F*ck Did I Just Read Final Crisis Morrison?
 
2014-04-17 02:53:38 PM

Combustion: killzoe: Did subby just call Superman a sissy?

I'd have used much harsher language.

Batman > Superman.


Bullshiat.

seekersofthebat.com
 
2014-04-17 02:54:25 PM

soporific: I'm just waiting for the rest of All Star Batman and Robin.


but this will be better...in this one Superman calls Lois Lane a C**T....  ooooo...SHOCK VALUE...
 
2014-04-17 02:58:51 PM

Tarl3k: Well let's see...Superman is a one note superhero with absolutely ZERO interesting characteristics, and Aquaman is the worst superhero ever...you guys have fun with that...

/Let's see a Superman Red Son movie...that would actually be interesting


Superman is only uninteresting when written by a crappy writer. "What's So Bad About Truth, Justice, and the American Way" (aka 'Superman vs. The Elite') Is one of the better Superman stories to have come along recently.

Superman in 'Kingdom Come' was also a great character.
 
2014-04-17 03:01:20 PM
DC has far more interesting characters than Superman, Aquaman, and even Batman. They just never really seem to care much about pushing those more interesting characters.
 
2014-04-17 03:06:42 PM

LowbrowDeluxe: Rwa2play: JohnBigBootay: Rwa2play: Also known as "another attempt by DC to stay relevant".

The next person who utters the phrase 'stay relevant' in my presence gets a cock punch. Relevant to what? They give two shiats about being relevant to anything. I suspect that what this is really about is selling shiat and making money, don't you?

Somebody piss in your Wheaties this morning or you just have a terminal case of PMS?

*cock punch*

Aslo, subby can choke on a bowl of flaming dicks and burn to death from the inside out.  I've been looking forward to him getting to do this for almost a decade now.


Your fascination with cock-punching is...interesting to say the least.
 
2014-04-17 03:07:21 PM

JohnBigBootay: Rwa2play: Somebody piss in your Wheaties this morning or you just have a terminal case of PMS?

Vaginitis actually. I'm just sick of the expression and then you walked by and the rest is history.


Fair enough.
 
2014-04-17 03:09:52 PM

RoyFokker'sGhost: Tarl3k: Well let's see...Superman is a one note superhero with absolutely ZERO interesting characteristics, and Aquaman is the worst superhero ever...you guys have fun with that...

/Let's see a Superman Red Son movie...that would actually be interesting

Superman is only uninteresting when written by a crappy writer. "What's So Bad About Truth, Justice, and the American Way" (aka 'Superman vs. The Elite') Is one of the better Superman stories to have come along recently.


This right here; it's Superman being a farking badass without killing people.  

Superman in 'Kingdom Come' was also a great character.

That.
 
2014-04-17 03:22:46 PM

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: big question is, is this awesome JLA, We3 Morrison, or What The F*ck Did I Just Read Final Crisis Morrison?


Ah, that's like "Who is writing Fantastic Four now? Is it Starman/Golden Age James Robinson, or his Bizarro double that wrote Superman and JLA: Cry For Justice".
 
2014-04-17 03:46:17 PM

LectertheChef: DC has far more interesting characters than Superman, Aquaman, and even Batman. They just never really seem to care much about pushing those more interesting characters.


What?

upload.wikimedia.org

Pretty sure as many heroes/villains have been name dropped/seen in two seasons of this show than all of the MCU.
 
2014-04-17 03:47:53 PM
Looking forward to the next Superman reboot, hoping they finally get it right this century.

/All Star Superman is the best so far.  MHO.
 
2014-04-17 03:58:21 PM

Rwa2play: This right here; it's Superman being a farking badass without killing people.

Superman in 'Kingdom Come' was also a great character.

That.


And the other. Superman is awesome. I think I'm going to go home and watch him kick Darkseid's ass tonight.
 
2014-04-17 04:05:07 PM

RoyFokker'sGhost: Superman is only uninteresting when written by a crappy writer. "What's So Bad About Truth, Justice, and the American Way" (aka 'Superman vs. The Elite') Is one of the better Superman stories to have come along recently.

Superman in 'Kingdom Come' was also a great character.


Unfortunately 99.9% of the writers DC has are crappy...
 
2014-04-17 04:13:16 PM
AHHHHHHHHH! Black Superman!!!!!
betanews.com
 
2014-04-17 04:13:55 PM

Dhusk: Superman and Aquaman  ARE as interesting as Iron Man and Thor.  I have read versions that were incredibly fun to follow (Superman in late 80s/early 90s, Aquaman with Peter David writing) and kept me coming back month after month.

Thing is, DC has to give up on fapping to the silver age version of every character and start writing stories about modern and innovative characters again, instead of focusing OCD-like on gimmicks and homages


You mean write good stories with good characters and good art?

I enjoy Young Justice. But honestly Batman and Superman don't really interest me much right now. Both are far too much 'god'. Superman in the normal sense, of being infinitely powerful and invulnerable etc. Batman just because his super power of 'planning everything' basically reached omniscience a long time ago.

Defang them both, and it would get interesting again. Superman with quantifiable strength and invulnerability, and only those two powers + flight, rather than a billion powers and infinite strength etc. Batman as in the movies, a planner who can be out thought by people.
 
2014-04-17 04:19:23 PM

kroonermanblack: Defang them both, and it would get interesting again. Superman with quantifiable strength and invulnerability, and only those two powers + flight,


And that's why I like (DC's) Captain Marvel over Superman.
 
2014-04-17 04:36:44 PM

Hebalo: Grant Morrison is the Mexican Buffet of comic books. When you first start, everything is amazing, and you can't enough. But pretty quickly, it all turns in to a heap of watery shiat.


yeah, fark him and that fat fark Quesada too.
 
2014-04-17 04:43:29 PM
I loved Brave and the bold Aquaman.  He has the attitude of a pulp era adventure lover who was really excited to be himself.

\I'm Aquaman, thats awesome
\\I have a wife and kids, thats awesome
\\\I'm teaming up with Batman to punch things.  Thats Awesome!
 
2014-04-17 04:52:07 PM

Ziabatsu: I loved Brave and the bold Aquaman.  He has the attitude of a pulp era adventure lover who was really excited to be himself.

\I'm Aquaman, thats awesomeOutrageous
\\I have a wife and kids, thats awesomeOutrageous
\\\I'm teaming up with Batman to punch things.  Thats AwesomeOutrageous!


FTFY
 
2014-04-17 05:49:02 PM

LowbrowDeluxe: Ziabatsu: I loved Brave and the bold Aquaman.  He has the attitude of a pulp era adventure lover who was really excited to be himself.

\I'm Aquaman, thats awesomeOutrageous
\\I have a wife and kids, thats awesomeOutrageous
\\\I'm teaming up with Batman to punch things.  Thats AwesomeOutrageous!

FTFY


Truly truly truly outrageous.

fc05.deviantart.net
 
2014-04-17 06:17:56 PM
and the LATEST, greatest superhero of Earth-Prime - YOU!

So a comic written in the second person? No, thank you.

Not to mention, while I enjoyed his JLA reboot a number of years ago, Final Crisis was barely tolerable and Final Crisis Superman 3D was barely readable.
 
2014-04-17 06:40:46 PM

PIP_the_TROLL: Combustion: killzoe: Did subby just call Superman a sissy?

I'd have used much harsher language.

Batman > Superman.

Bullshiat.

[seekersofthebat.com image 640x660]


No; really - Batman wins.

JLA - Batman already knows how to crush him without Clark even noticing. White Kryptonite in the Metropolis water system. Harmless to humans - drains Superman.
This is not his first option. He has OODLES of others.

Non-canonical: The Dark Knight Returns.

Really non-canonical: one of the writers (Mark Waid) for Superman "back in the day" said the only thing that Superman would stand no chance against in a fair fight were Batman, John Constantine and Venom (suit only). Against everything else he has a fighting chance.
 
2014-04-17 06:51:05 PM

Olympic Trolling Judge: LowbrowDeluxe: Ziabatsu: I loved Brave and the bold Aquaman.  He has the attitude of a pulp era adventure lover who was really excited to be himself.

\I'm Aquaman, thats awesomeOutrageous
\\I have a wife and kids, thats awesomeOutrageous
\\\I'm teaming up with Batman to punch things.  Thats AwesomeOutrageous!

FTFY

Truly truly truly outrageous.

[fc05.deviantart.net image 850x403]


LAUGH THE OUT LOUD UPON THE FLOOR ROLLING

Honestly I used to dig on the angry hook-handed Aquaman until I realized he was basically a less cool, less charismatic Namor the Sub-mariner. It's too bad the Batman BATB Aquaman wouldn't work in media not meant to be a tribute to the Silver Age as he was a straight up hoot without being tempted to have him scream out "IMPERIOUS REX" while disemboweling a rabid shark.
 
2014-04-17 06:57:48 PM

Jedekai: PIP_the_TROLL: Combustion: killzoe: Did subby just call Superman a sissy?

I'd have used much harsher language.

Batman > Superman.

Bullshiat.

[seekersofthebat.com image 640x660]

No; really - Batman wins.

JLA - Batman already knows how to crush him without Clark even noticing. White Kryptonite in the Metropolis water system. Harmless to humans - drains Superman.
This is not his first option. He has OODLES of others.

Non-canonical: The Dark Knight Returns.

Really non-canonical: one of the writers (Mark Waid) for Superman "back in the day" said the only thing that Superman would stand no chance against in a fair fight were Batman, John Constantine and Venom (suit only). Against everything else he has a fighting chance.


None of this can be done without forewarning. And none of it is guaranteed to work. Whose to say that Supes doesn't use his microscopic vision on everything he eats and drinks. And White Kryptonite doesn't even work on Superman.

Every argument for B-vs-S is "If Batman can do A, B, C, X, Y & Z Superman has no chance."

The Batman Tautology is "Batman always wins because Batman always wins." It's an endless series of excuses and what-ifs to stack the whole universe against Superman so Batman even has a shot.

It's ridiculous. In the popularity contest, Batman wins every time. But in an in-verse evaluation, he doesn't have a dream of winning.

X vs Y is a long tradition in comic fandom. If you want to make it interesting... what about Batman vs Black Panther.
 
2014-04-17 07:01:31 PM

PIP_the_TROLL: Jedekai: PIP_the_TROLL: Combustion: killzoe: Did subby just call Superman a sissy?

I'd have used much harsher language.

Batman > Superman.

Bullshiat.

[seekersofthebat.com image 640x660]

No; really - Batman wins.

JLA - Batman already knows how to crush him without Clark even noticing. White Kryptonite in the Metropolis water system. Harmless to humans - drains Superman.
This is not his first option. He has OODLES of others.

Non-canonical: The Dark Knight Returns.

Really non-canonical: one of the writers (Mark Waid) for Superman "back in the day" said the only thing that Superman would stand no chance against in a fair fight were Batman, John Constantine and Venom (suit only). Against everything else he has a fighting chance.

None of this can be done without forewarning. And none of it is guaranteed to work. Whose to say that Supes doesn't use his microscopic vision on everything he eats and drinks. And White Kryptonite doesn't even work on Superman.

Every argument for B-vs-S is "If Batman can do A, B, C, X, Y & Z Superman has no chance."

The Batman Tautology is "Batman always wins because Batman always wins." It's an endless series of excuses and what-ifs to stack the whole universe against Superman so Batman even has a shot.

It's ridiculous. In the popularity contest, Batman wins every time. But in an in-verse evaluation, he doesn't have a dream of winning.

X vs Y is a long tradition in comic fandom. If you want to make it interesting... what about Batman vs Black Panther.


That would be a sweet comic. I've often called Black Panther's Marvel's version of an African Batman (albeit far better adjusted)
 
2014-04-17 07:47:48 PM

Rhypskallion: Looking forward to the next Superman reboot, hoping they finally get it right this century.

/All Star Superman is the best so far.  MHO.


I really dont know why that was not the direction they took Superman after the reboot. Even more perplexing is that they had Morrison at the start and he went with a jeans wearing Superman while the other books went with his current costume. That I hate by the way!

I know they wanted a more tough guy Superman but all a confusing mess

But thats Morrison for you he can be brilliant like in All Star Superman (I still hold his Doom Patrol and Animal Man books as the best of the Late 80's-early 90's in my opinion and JLA was the best that team has ever been) or just have too many ideas that are convoluted and that go nowhere. (Final Crisis and Action Comics)

I hope Multiverity is more like All Star then Final Crisis..But Its looking like the former but if its like 7 Solders it might be great
 
2014-04-17 08:30:28 PM
So I just looked at the Quitely scans from this, and it's painfully obvious that Morrison is just trolling Moore for shiats and giggles at this point.
 
2014-04-17 08:41:39 PM

RevCarter: So I just looked at the Quitely scans from this, and it's painfully obvious that Morrison is just trolling Moore for shiats and giggles at this point.


I'd say Morrison (or at least DC's editors) are trolling us all at this point.
 
2014-04-17 08:46:49 PM

Crotchrocket Slim: RevCarter: So I just looked at the Quitely scans from this, and it's painfully obvious that Morrison is just trolling Moore for shiats and giggles at this point.

I'd say Morrison (or at least DC's editors) are trolling us all at this point.


Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity
 
2014-04-17 08:49:13 PM

PIP_the_TROLL: Jedekai: PIP_the_TROLL: Combustion: killzoe: Did subby just call Superman a sissy?

I'd have used much harsher language.

Batman > Superman.

Bullshiat.

[seekersofthebat.com image 640x660]

No; really - Batman wins.

JLA - Batman already knows how to crush him without Clark even noticing. White Kryptonite in the Metropolis water system. Harmless to humans - drains Superman.
This is not his first option. He has OODLES of others.

Non-canonical: The Dark Knight Returns.

Really non-canonical: one of the writers (Mark Waid) for Superman "back in the day" said the only thing that Superman would stand no chance against in a fair fight were Batman, John Constantine and Venom (suit only). Against everything else he has a fighting chance.

None of this can be done without forewarning. And none of it is guaranteed to work. Whose to say that Supes doesn't use his microscopic vision on everything he eats and drinks. And White Kryptonite doesn't even work on Superman.

Every argument for B-vs-S is "If Batman can do A, B, C, X, Y & Z Superman has no chance."

The Batman Tautology is "Batman always wins because Batman always wins." It's an endless series of excuses and what-ifs to stack the whole universe against Superman so Batman even has a shot.

It's ridiculous. In the popularity contest, Batman wins every time. But in an in-verse evaluation, he doesn't have a dream of winning.

X vs Y is a long tradition in comic fandom. If you want to make it interesting... what about Batman vs Black Panther.


Or it just goes the Injustice comic route, where Superman pulls a Bane because Batman is pissing him off, or imo the best representation of what a BvS fight would look like, JL:War.
 
2014-04-17 09:04:05 PM

hammer85: or imo the best representation of what a BvS fight would look like, JL:War.


Hehe, yeah. It was like watching Superman waving away a bothersome fly.
 
2014-04-17 09:26:42 PM

PIP_the_TROLL: hammer85: or imo the best representation of what a BvS fight would look like, JL:War.

Hehe, yeah. It was like watching Superman waving away a bothersome fly.


If there's anything that that movie did correct, it was finally and undeniably showing how outmatched bats is against superman.
 
2014-04-17 09:44:25 PM

hammer85: PIP_the_TROLL: hammer85: or imo the best representation of what a BvS fight would look like, JL:War.

Hehe, yeah. It was like watching Superman waving away a bothersome fly.

If there's anything that that movie did correct, it was finally and undeniably showing how outmatched bats is against superman.


Personally I think the whole "Batman is an unbeatable strategist" bit is pretty well overplayed but we're also forgetting his ability to work past his antisocial nature, forge powerful alliances, and generally not find himself fighting against Superman except under very controlled situations where he has already stacked the deck in his favor. Yeah if Superman woke up one day and decided to go Superman III without warning Bat's would have a very, very long stay in Gotham General if he's lucky.
 
2014-04-17 09:54:59 PM
Brock Sampson > Superman
 
2014-04-17 10:03:59 PM

Team Nemesis: Brock Sampson > Superman


Brock > He-Man (don't forget Superman and He-Man met and He-Man won; granted Skeletor was taking advantage of Kal El's infamous glass jaw to magic and using the Last Son of Krypton as his biatch at the time)
 
2014-04-17 10:59:15 PM

Jedekai: PIP_the_TROLL: Combustion: killzoe: Did subby just call Superman a sissy?

I'd have used much harsher language.

Batman > Superman.

Bullshiat.

[seekersofthebat.com image 640x660]

No; really - Batman wins.

JLA - Batman already knows how to crush him without Clark even noticing. White Kryptonite in the Metropolis water system. Harmless to humans - drains Superman.
This is not his first option. He has OODLES of others.

Non-canonical: The Dark Knight Returns.

Really non-canonical: one of the writers (Mark Waid) for Superman "back in the day" said the only thing that Superman would stand no chance against in a fair fight were Batman, John Constantine and Venom (suit only). Against everything else he has a fighting chance.


I wonder I Venom could bond with a Kryptonian? That would be "nuke the site from orbit and cross your fingers" scary
 
2014-04-17 11:05:17 PM

Crotchrocket Slim: Jedekai: PIP_the_TROLL: Combustion: killzoe: Did subby just call Superman a sissy?

I'd have used much harsher language.

Batman > Superman.

Bullshiat.

[seekersofthebat.com image 640x660]

No; really - Batman wins.

JLA - Batman already knows how to crush him without Clark even noticing. White Kryptonite in the Metropolis water system. Harmless to humans - drains Superman.
This is not his first option. He has OODLES of others.

Non-canonical: The Dark Knight Returns.

Really non-canonical: one of the writers (Mark Waid) for Superman "back in the day" said the only thing that Superman would stand no chance against in a fair fight were Batman, John Constantine and Venom (suit only). Against everything else he has a fighting chance.

I wonder I Venom could bond with a Kryptonian? That would be "nuke the site from orbit and cross your fingers" scary


They made supergirl a red lantern recently.  A green one would probably be better...but ya, Kryptonian with extra rage powers and plasma blood vomit
 
2014-04-17 11:17:20 PM
The only thing that keeps superman from killing batman is his complete disinterest in killing batman. Like I always say, of he were actually moved to kill batman ... He could just fly up to the mom, rub one out while fantasizing about batman's mom, take a dump, then glance up and divert an asteroid with heat vision and drop it right or Bruce Wayne. Or he could just fly up to him real quick when he's pinching a loaf and turn him into a diamond with his ass cheeks
 
2014-04-17 11:54:56 PM
I have a question for the comic fans of Fark regarding Superman.

I only rarely pick up the occasional graphic novel/comic on the recommendations of friends, so I'm not fully aware of all the incarnations/stories/etc. that have happened in those comics. With that in mind:

Does he ever actually learn to fight?

I *have* seen plenty of animated versions, movie versions, TV versions, video game versions etc. It seems he has 3 moves: Barreling into his opponent like a high school wrestler (often through walls,) slow and telegraphed haymaker punches, and random power gimmick of the day.

Is there a comic where the dude actually displays some of the higher level fighting skill we've seen from other superheroes, or in other media where the main character has to beat up the bad guy (action movies, anime, manga etc.)?

If so I'd be interested in looking it up. Because let's face it -- the mainstream versions of Superman most of us non-comic readers are familiar with always seems to just win his fights because plot. Not through actual ability or anything commendable. I think that's a big part of the backlash against him.

As a followup if there is such a version: Why hasn't it caught on?
 
2014-04-17 11:59:37 PM

Jensaarai: It seems he has 3 moves: Barreling into his opponent like a high school wrestler (often through walls,) slow and telegraphed haymaker punches, and random power gimmick of the day.


Oh, and throwing things/opponents. Usually after lifting them over his head. So 4.
 
2014-04-18 01:01:54 AM

Jensaarai: I have a question for the comic fans of Fark regarding Superman.

I only rarely pick up the occasional graphic novel/comic on the recommendations of friends, so I'm not fully aware of all the incarnations/stories/etc. that have happened in those comics. With that in mind:

Does he ever actually learn to fight?

I *have* seen plenty of animated versions, movie versions, TV versions, video game versions etc. It seems he has 3 moves: Barreling into his opponent like a high school wrestler (often through walls,) slow and telegraphed haymaker punches, and random power gimmick of the day.

Is there a comic where the dude actually displays some of the higher level fighting skill we've seen from other superheroes, or in other media where the main character has to beat up the bad guy (action movies, anime, manga etc.)?

If so I'd be interested in looking it up. Because let's face it -- the mainstream versions of Superman most of us non-comic readers are familiar with always seems to just win his fights because plot. Not through actual ability or anything commendable. I think that's a big part of the backlash against him.

As a followup if there is such a version: Why hasn't it caught on?


ok I'm gonna go punch myself in the nuts for knowing this but Superman knows Horo-Kanu which is a Kryptonian martial art that focuses on pressure points. fark my life.....
 
2014-04-18 01:13:47 AM
I have foreseen that in the upcoming Batman vs Superman movie Kryptonite will be involved.

/I'm just that good.
 
2014-04-18 01:24:15 AM

Jensaarai: I have a question for the comic fans of Fark regarding Superman.

I only rarely pick up the occasional graphic novel/comic on the recommendations of friends, so I'm not fully aware of all the incarnations/stories/etc. that have happened in those comics. With that in mind:

Does he ever actually learn to fight?

I *have* seen plenty of animated versions, movie versions, TV versions, video game versions etc. It seems he has 3 moves: Barreling into his opponent like a high school wrestler (often through walls,) slow and telegraphed haymaker punches, and random power gimmick of the day.

Is there a comic where the dude actually displays some of the higher level fighting skill we've seen from other superheroes, or in other media where the main character has to beat up the bad guy (action movies, anime, manga etc.)?

If so I'd be interested in looking it up. Because let's face it -- the mainstream versions of Superman most of us non-comic readers are familiar with always seems to just win his fights because plot. Not through actual ability or anything commendable. I think that's a big part of the backlash against him.

As a followup if there is such a version: Why hasn't it caught on?


No that's mostly what he just does.  He's pretty much godlike compared to humans and was raised on a farm.  Not really an upbringing like Batman or Wonder Woman.

Also, for the animated stuff, it kinda depowers him making him fight like that so that every episode isn't just "well....superman instantly beats everyone".  He would fight like Goku if he was using his full strength, since he's technically as fast as flash, but you never see that really in the animated stuff other than when he's flying or racing flash.
 
2014-04-18 01:44:03 AM
The irony is that during Geoff Johns Aquaman run, it outsold 98% of Marvel Comics out there :P
 
2014-04-18 01:48:34 AM

Jensaarai: Does he ever actually learn to fight?


He is practiced in the ancient Kryptonian art of Torquasm-Rao :

imageshack.com

He was taught to box by a heavy-weight champion:

imageshack.com

As a prisoner of Mongol on Warworld, he was forced into gladiatorial combat where he displayed hand-to-hand techniques and weapons skills against similarly powered fighters:

imageshack.com

imageshack.com

After Kandor was freed from Brainiac, he joined the Kryptonian military under General Zod.  He also got to show off his experience with pressure points that he picked up from Batman:

imageshack.com

It's safe to assume he learned a thing or two from watching the Amazons.  He even had his cousin train with them:

imageshack.com

Superman definitely knows his moves:

imageshack.com

He's so skilled, you might say his greatest challenge is  . . HIMSELF:

imageshack.com

(Actually, his greatest battle is against bad writers)
 
2014-04-18 01:56:17 AM

hammer85: Jensaarai: I have a question for the comic fans of Fark regarding Superman.

I only rarely pick up the occasional graphic novel/comic on the recommendations of friends, so I'm not fully aware of all the incarnations/stories/etc. that have happened in those comics. With that in mind:

Does he ever actually learn to fight?

I *have* seen plenty of animated versions, movie versions, TV versions, video game versions etc. It seems he has 3 moves: Barreling into his opponent like a high school wrestler (often through walls,) slow and telegraphed haymaker punches, and random power gimmick of the day.

Is there a comic where the dude actually displays some of the higher level fighting skill we've seen from other superheroes, or in other media where the main character has to beat up the bad guy (action movies, anime, manga etc.)?

If so I'd be interested in looking it up. Because let's face it -- the mainstream versions of Superman most of us non-comic readers are familiar with always seems to just win his fights because plot. Not through actual ability or anything commendable. I think that's a big part of the backlash against him.

As a followup if there is such a version: Why hasn't it caught on?

No that's mostly what he just does.  He's pretty much godlike compared to humans and was raised on a farm.  Not really an upbringing like Batman or Wonder Woman.

Also, for the animated stuff, it kinda depowers him making him fight like that so that every episode isn't just "well....superman instantly beats everyone".  He would fight like Goku if he was using his full strength, since he's technically as fast as flash, but you never see that really in the animated stuff other than when he's flying or racing flash.


He can fight. He's shown that in the past when de-powered or forced to fight 'human style' as Clark Kent.

But in full on Superman form, there's hardly any point. He's pulling all his punches anyway, rarely operating above like 10% strength.

This is a guy that could punch through the Hoover Dam with very little effort. Concentrating that power into Batman-style targeted ninja strikes would seem like a laughable conceit.

As the learned gentlemen above pointed out, however, he does know how to fight with more precision. And things like that usually come out when he's up against someone as strong and invulnerable as he is, like Darkseid, Mongol, Doomsday, etc.

There's also tradition to consider. Superman's creators based him on circus strongmen. (hence the tights and shorts on the outside). His fighting style - when drawn - is essentially a series of strongman poses. It's Samson or Hercules in a cape.
 
2014-04-18 04:50:11 AM
Thanks for the replies, guys. I know this is Fark, where snark generally rules, but I was genuinely curious and knew you'd deliver.

I'll probably never be a huge fan of the character, but I always wind up checking out his stories sooner or later, even if I make fun of him. Seems to me like a lot of these skills are revealed later in his story, and considering the constant need to rehash his origin story/early days with the whole Lois Lane thing in mainstream media adaptations, it makes a bit more sense for a depowered, clumsy-but-just-strong-enough version seems to be the one most of us non-comic readers have in mind when we think of him.

I kinda wonder what would happen if they gave him the 200+ episode action anime-style treatment. Yeah, I know that's what DBZ was trying to be in some ways, but I'd like to see what could be done with the actual IP, revealing some of these aspects of the character after the main story everyone knows is all said and done.
 
2014-04-18 04:56:57 AM

rocky_howard: The irony is that during Geoff Johns Aquaman run, it outsold 98% of Marvel Comics out there :P


No, the name "Geoff Johns" sold. Aquaman didn't.

Because fanboys are not yet sick of Johns's hackery, his name sells books, no matter how shiatty they are. That's what sold. It could have been Aquaman by Geoff Johns, Inferior 5 by Geoff Johns, or Buckets of shiat by Geoff Johns, and it would have sod roughly the same amount.

And now that he's gone, the book has slid merrily back down to mediocrity, and will eventually slide to cancellation levels, like the rest of DC's shiatty books. Then we can have NuNu52: The Nuening! Or maybe, Johns and Didio and the rest will find themselves replaced by people who aren't morons.
 
2014-04-18 09:13:15 AM

PIP_the_TROLL: JX vs Y is a long tradition in comic fandom. If you want to make it interesting... what about Batman vs Black Panther.


media.tumblr.com
 
2014-04-18 09:24:47 AM

FirstNationalBastard: rocky_howard: The irony is that during Geoff Johns Aquaman run, it outsold 98% of Marvel Comics out there :P

No, the name "Geoff Johns" sold. Aquaman didn't.

Because fanboys are not yet sick of Johns's hackery, his name sells books, no matter how shiatty they are. That's what sold. It could have been Aquaman by Geoff Johns, Inferior 5 by Geoff Johns, or Buckets of shiat by Geoff Johns, and it would have sod roughly the same amount.

And now that he's gone, the book has slid merrily back down to mediocrity, and will eventually slide to cancellation levels, like the rest of DC's shiatty books. Then we can have NuNu52: The Nuening! Or maybe, Johns and Didio and the rest will find themselves replaced by people who aren't morons.


By the almighty, I can't believe the Geoff Johns that had a really good run on "The Avengers" and made "Green Lantern" popular again has slid down into craptacularness.
 
2014-04-18 09:31:34 AM

Rwa2play: FirstNationalBastard: rocky_howard: The irony is that during Geoff Johns Aquaman run, it outsold 98% of Marvel Comics out there :P

No, the name "Geoff Johns" sold. Aquaman didn't.

Because fanboys are not yet sick of Johns's hackery, his name sells books, no matter how shiatty they are. That's what sold. It could have been Aquaman by Geoff Johns, Inferior 5 by Geoff Johns, or Buckets of shiat by Geoff Johns, and it would have sod roughly the same amount.

And now that he's gone, the book has slid merrily back down to mediocrity, and will eventually slide to cancellation levels, like the rest of DC's shiatty books. Then we can have NuNu52: The Nuening! Or maybe, Johns and Didio and the rest will find themselves replaced by people who aren't morons.

By the almighty, I can't believe the Geoff Johns that had a really good run on "The Avengers" and made "Green Lantern" popular again has slid down into craptacularness.


The Geoff Johns who wrote JSA and Stars and STRIPE had an editor who could tell him no.

NuJohns is the boss, and can crap out whatever he pleases.
 
2014-04-18 11:30:31 AM

FirstNationalBastard: rocky_howard: The irony is that during Geoff Johns Aquaman run, it outsold 98% of Marvel Comics out there :P

No, the name "Geoff Johns" sold. Aquaman didn't.

Because fanboys are not yet sick of Johns's hackery, his name sells books, no matter how shiatty they are. That's what sold. It could have been Aquaman by Geoff Johns, Inferior 5 by Geoff Johns, or Buckets of shiat by Geoff Johns, and it would have sod roughly the same amount.

And now that he's gone, the book has slid merrily back down to mediocrity, and will eventually slide to cancellation levels, like the rest of DC's shiatty books. Then we can have NuNu52: The Nuening! Or maybe, Johns and Didio and the rest will find themselves replaced by people who aren't morons.


Johns Aquaman was great...his finale on GL sucked though (the last two issues were good but holy shiat the third army/volthoom stuff dragged on way too long).  I'm enjoying the Pak stuff so far, though it isn't "epic" in scope like throne of atlantis.

It gave us this  http://cdn.culturemass.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/GL-20-INT.jpg  splash though which I love.

Looking at the March sales list...I'm surprised Harley Quinn is so high.  I knew she was popular but she's the 5th best selling book they have.
 
2014-04-18 12:11:22 PM

hammer85: It gave us this http://cdn.culturemass.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/GL-20-INT.jpg splash though which I love.


Ugh, I can't stand Hal Jordan.
 
2014-04-18 12:20:41 PM

PIP_the_TROLL: hammer85: It gave us this http://cdn.culturemass.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/GL-20-INT.jpg splash though which I love.

Ugh, I can't stand Hal Jordan.


Still better than John Stewart and overpowered god kyle.

I'm a Guy fan myself, but I'm also from near baltimore, so that issue where he takes the reds there was hilarious for me.
 
2014-04-18 01:42:22 PM

JohnBigBootay: Rwa2play: Also known as "another attempt by DC to stay relevant".

The next person who utters the phrase 'stay relevant' in my presence gets a cock punch. Relevant to what? They give two shiats about being relevant to anything. I suspect that what this is really about is selling shiat and making money, don't you?



Shut up, Big-booty, you coward. You are the weakest individual I ever know
 
2014-04-18 04:20:36 PM

hammer85: PIP_the_TROLL: hammer85: It gave us this http://cdn.culturemass.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/GL-20-INT.jpg splash though which I love.

Ugh, I can't stand Hal Jordan.

Still better than John Stewart and overpowered god kyle.

I'm a Guy fan myself, but I'm also from near Baltimore, so that issue where he takes the reds there was hilarious for me.


John Stewart is my favorite. He's the only competent human Green Lantern.

Hal Jordan - Arrogant Asshole. Uncreative. Dumb as a box of flies. And has he ever met an assignment he didn't fark up?

Guy Gardner - Also an asshole, but at least he's consistent. He's a dick that knows he's a dick. Other than that, intensely loyal and Stewart's best friend.

Kyle Rayner - Total moron and a complete Mary Sue. I've never understood his popularity.
 
2014-04-18 05:23:48 PM

PIP_the_TROLL: hammer85: PIP_the_TROLL: hammer85: It gave us this http://cdn.culturemass.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/GL-20-INT.jpg splash though which I love.

Ugh, I can't stand Hal Jordan.

Still better than John Stewart and overpowered god kyle.

I'm a Guy fan myself, but I'm also from near Baltimore, so that issue where he takes the reds there was hilarious for me.

John Stewart is my favorite. He's the only competent human Green Lantern.

Hal Jordan - Arrogant Asshole. Uncreative. Dumb as a box of flies. And has he ever met an assignment he didn't fark up?

Guy Gardner - Also an asshole, but at least he's consistent. He's a dick that knows he's a dick. Other than that, intensely loyal and Stewart's best friend.

Kyle Rayner - Total moron and a complete Mary Sue. I've never understood his popularity.


I'm coming around to new 52 John since GL Corps is finally dealing with him as a character rather than second fiddle to Guy, but seriously, Fatality needs to go.  Just like Carol/Kyle, the relationships just don't work.  I want to see more John + Jruk and less "when this is over lets totally bang".

Hal doesn't really fark up missions, he just makes bad situations worse, but always manages to pull a win out of his ass.  I mean, when you're plan is to kill yourself to become the next Black Lantern so you can save the universe, you're either doing something horribly wrong or horribly right.

Also, the GL:TAS did a good job with Hal as a character which made him you know, not dumb as a box of files to progress the plot forward.  Him vs Atrocious was an awesome throwdown."He's too stubborn to fall down".

But ya, fark Kyle.  I'll probably be dropping New Guardians real soon.
 
2014-04-18 05:40:09 PM

hammer85: PIP_the_TROLL: hammer85: PIP_the_TROLL: hammer85: It gave us this http://cdn.culturemass.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/GL-20-INT.jpg splash though which I love.

Ugh, I can't stand Hal Jordan.

Still better than John Stewart and overpowered god kyle.

I'm a Guy fan myself, but I'm also from near Baltimore, so that issue where he takes the reds there was hilarious for me.

John Stewart is my favorite. He's the only competent human Green Lantern.

Hal Jordan - Arrogant Asshole. Uncreative. Dumb as a box of flies. And has he ever met an assignment he didn't fark up?

Guy Gardner - Also an asshole, but at least he's consistent. He's a dick that knows he's a dick. Other than that, intensely loyal and Stewart's best friend.

Kyle Rayner - Total moron and a complete Mary Sue. I've never understood his popularity.

I'm coming around to new 52 John since GL Corps is finally dealing with him as a character rather than second fiddle to Guy, but seriously, Fatality needs to go.  Just like Carol/Kyle, the relationships just don't work.  I want to see more John + Jruk and less "when this is over lets totally bang".

Hal doesn't really fark up missions, he just makes bad situations worse, but always manages to pull a win out of his ass.  I mean, when you're plan is to kill yourself to become the next Black Lantern so you can save the universe, you're either doing something horribly wrong or horribly right.

Also, the GL:TAS did a good job with Hal as a character which made him you know, not dumb as a box of files to progress the plot forward.  Him vs Atrocious was an awesome throwdown."He's too stubborn to fall down".

But ya, fark Kyle.  I'll probably be dropping New Guardians real soon.


Cartoon Hal definitely was the man, they need to bring that show back. I still don't see him ever really taking on Batman though, but I could see John Stewart doing it with or without the ring. We've all seen what happens with Guy Gardner pisses off the Bat enough.
 
2014-04-18 05:51:55 PM

hammer85: Hal doesn't really fark up missions, he just makes bad situations worse, but always manages to pull a win out of his ass.


That's what I hate. I hate when characters win when they shouldn't. It's not even deus ex machina. It's simple plot armor.

Crotchrocket Slim: I could see John Stewart doing it with or without the ring.


I kind of wonder how that would go down. Stewart is disciplined and even-tempered. Batman's mind games wouldn't work on him.
 
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