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(News 13 Orlando)   If giving birth in a motel bathtub wasn't Florida enough, this mom gnawed off the umbilical cord with her teeth   (mynews13.com) divider line 37
    More: Florida, Ocala, motel bathtub, baby born, public information, mothers, teeth, motels, Department of Children  
•       •       •

3736 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Apr 2014 at 8:11 PM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-16 07:53:23 PM  
BILL BRASKY!
 
2014-04-16 08:02:01 PM  
This story has all kinds of Florida in it!

Went into labor after smoking crack for an entire day
Gave birth in a bathtub
biting umbilical cord
boyfriend wanted for murder, arrested and awaiting extradition.
 
2014-04-16 08:06:03 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

You know you would.
 
2014-04-16 08:16:37 PM  
Reminds me of:

media.tumblr.com
 
2014-04-16 08:19:22 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x864]

You know you would.


Push it down a flight a stairs?

/After giving birth of course
//..but then again Darwin
 
v15
2014-04-16 08:19:24 PM  
More West Virginia than Florida
 
2014-04-16 08:21:26 PM  
Instinct?  How else did Ugg and Uggette cut the umbilical cord?  Maybe they discovered scissors shortly after that fateful obelisk incident.

Yes, obelisk.  That's how it was in the book.
 
2014-04-16 08:22:30 PM  
So much Florida trashiness going on here........

/a native Floridian, shudders
 
2014-04-16 08:22:39 PM  
Anal. Because Darwinism can't stop EVERY stupid generation.

/Came for Coneheads.
//Left Disappoint.
 
2014-04-16 08:27:27 PM  
www.bohomoth.com

/Tom would like a taste of that sweet cord...
 
2014-04-16 08:28:08 PM  
Chewed thru the umbilical cord huh?
Being Florida I gotta ask...crosswise or lengthwise?
 
2014-04-16 08:28:29 PM  
I expected this to be about an escaped pachyderm or something.
 
2014-04-16 08:29:21 PM  
I think the real victim here is the maid that has to clean up that room.
 
2014-04-16 08:35:00 PM  
Well that's better than if she gnawed it off with her vagina?
 
2014-04-16 08:35:39 PM  
www.homebirth.net.au


/hungry...and jealous
 
2014-04-16 08:41:03 PM  
That wasn't even the most Florida thing about that story.

Hassell's first call wasn't to 911, though. It was to her boyfriend, who she told to hurry up and get back to the motel. But, as Terry sped to return, he was pulled over by Marion County deputies. He was wanted for attempted murder in Colorado.

Those poor kids are farked.
 
2014-04-16 09:03:29 PM  

Kuoxasar: Instinct?  How else did Ugg and Uggette cut the umbilical cord?  Maybe they discovered scissors shortly after that fateful obelisk incident.

Yes, obelisk.  That's how it was in the book.


Yeah, but then is not now, okay?
 
2014-04-16 09:06:20 PM  
A mother would gnaw off her kid's leg to save his life.

There's a reason they're called mothers.
 
2014-04-16 09:07:01 PM  
So, how's that "expanding your horizons with drug use" thing working out, 60 years in, America?
 
2014-04-16 09:14:47 PM  

Ryker's Peninsula: I think the real victim here is the maid that has to clean up that room.


Tipping thread?
/enjoy your stay!
 
2014-04-16 09:16:08 PM  
Gnawing a cap off a beer bottle?  Florida!

Gnawing through an umbilical cord?  I dunno...you do whatchu gotta do.
 
2014-04-16 09:21:11 PM  

bunner: So, how's that "expanding your horizons with drug use" thing working out, 60 years in, America?


Drugs aren't the problem, people being idiots are. If a drunk person gets in a car and runs someone over, do you blame the car, the alcohol, or the person who chose to drink then drive?
 
2014-04-16 09:35:15 PM  

Nidiot: bunner: So, how's that "expanding your horizons with drug use" thing working out, 60 years in, America?

Drugs aren't the problem, people being idiots are. If a drunk person gets in a car and runs someone over, do you blame the car, the alcohol, or the person who chose to drink then drive?


I blame Obama.  or is it Republicans?  Libertarians?  The Chinese?

I give up.
 
2014-04-16 09:37:11 PM  

Nidiot: Drugs aren't the problem



                                                      "I think the drugs sort of help."
 
2014-04-16 09:38:36 PM  
Please insert his image into the previous post.

i159.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-16 09:42:00 PM  
mmm... bootstrappy
 
2014-04-16 09:54:14 PM  

bunner: So, how's that "expanding your horizons with drug use" thing working out, 60 years in, America?


60?

Excuse me. I think I'll take some Laudanum while i formulate a response. And you might think clearer with a little cocaine; according to Dr. Freud it's a miracle drug.
 
2014-04-16 09:56:38 PM  
Used her teeth because she lacked sharp wits.
 
2014-04-16 10:08:21 PM  

Enormous-Schwanstucker: /hungry...and jealous


Came for this, leaving satisfied.

+1
 
2014-04-16 10:15:21 PM  

AliceBToklasLives: bunner: So, how's that "expanding your horizons with drug use" thing working out, 60 years in, America?

60?

Excuse me. I think I'll take some Laudanum while i formulate a response. And you might think clearer with a little cocaine; according to Dr. Freud it's a miracle drug.


No, I mean as a way cool enlightening fad.  There's always been somebody chained to some f*cking monkey.
 
2014-04-16 10:19:50 PM  
Maybe it happened like this:

She ran off from the house and farked with a driver than was passing by (played also by Divine himself). Davenport was pregnant, and gave birth on a couch all by herself and bite off the umbilical cord with her own mouth. How does she live through the pregnancy, given that her market being a prostitute would be limited, I do not know. But hey this is trash film. Logic does not apply here. (From the John Waters film "Female Trouble")

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-16 10:27:05 PM  
Came for  Female Trouble reference.  Leaving happy.
 
2014-04-17 03:10:22 AM  
Hassell told investigators she gave the baby breaths for nearly an hour to keep him alive and finally, after learning her boyfriend wasn't coming, called 911.

Hassell has now joined Terry at the Marion County Jail. She has been charged with child neglect.


Count on social services to rush in and steal babies from well-meaning parents who are doing their best. A travesty.
 
2014-04-17 04:40:12 AM  
That's how it's supposed to go.
 
2014-04-17 04:53:07 AM  
Good thing I took a second look at the headline.

I read it as "giving birth to a bathtub"
 
2014-04-17 08:13:27 AM  
Do umbilical cords not have nerves in them? I really don't know and I'm curious.
 
2014-04-17 09:09:17 AM  
That kid sure has a good future ahead of it.

Herr Morgenstern: Do umbilical cords not have nerves in them? I really don't know and I'm curious.


I've always wondered this myself.  Too lazy to Google.
 
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