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(Slate)   Ways straight people can best help gay people? Try shutting up for one   (slate.com) divider line 150
    More: Silly, Conor Friedersdorf, gays and lesbians, Brendan Eich, social convention, incorporation by reference, heterosexuals, social stigma, psychological torture  
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4905 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Apr 2014 at 2:21 PM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-16 03:13:15 PM  

wellreadneck: Maggie_Luna: wellreadneck: Diogenes: Ways straight people can best help gay people?

I wouldn't mind a blow job.  I don't know how much that would help out the community, but I'd personally find that helpful.

Meh. Str8 guys suck at blow jobs. I'd rather have a piece of ass.

What if they have a bad ass though?

Define bad.


Too tight, as in it's taking hours (not exaggerating) to open them up to three fingers.
 
2014-04-16 03:13:42 PM  

Diogenes: wellreadneck: Diogenes: Ways straight people can best help gay people?

I wouldn't mind a blow job.  I don't know how much that would help out the community, but I'd personally find that helpful.

Meh. Str8 guys suck at blow jobs. I'd rather have a piece of ass.

MooseBayou would seem to qualify in the "ass" department.  But you can't have just a piece.  You want him, you have to keep him.


No thanks. I'm from Appalachia. I've already done my fair shre of

Obryn: wellreadneck: Maggie_Luna: wellreadneck: Diogenes: Ways straight people can best help gay people?

I wouldn't mind a blow job.  I don't know how much that would help out the community, but I'd personally find that helpful.

Meh. Str8 guys suck at blow jobs. I'd rather have a piece of ass.

What if they have a bad ass though?

Define bad.

If it had like razor blades and stuff in it, I guess.

/that could be fairly called bad.


The very thought of a mangina dentata frightens me.
 
2014-04-16 03:17:24 PM  
LOOK AT ME IM GAY!!! LOOK AT ME IM GAY!!!
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?  YOU LOOKING AT ME BECAUSE IM GAY?
 
2014-04-16 03:17:44 PM  

special20: He's not gay, but his boyfriend certainly is.


I Can't post images from mobile, but on my computer is an image of Stephen Fry in drag on some show stating that:

"I was very shocked when my son told me his boyfriend is homosexual."

I sent it to my not-really-understanding mother. There are reasons we don't discuss my being gay...
 
2014-04-16 03:22:10 PM  

bobrktb: LOOK AT ME IM GAY!!! LOOK AT ME IM GAY!!!
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?  YOU LOOKING AT ME BECAUSE IM GAY?


You stroking out or stroking one out?
 
2014-04-16 03:22:45 PM  

LeroyBourne: In college I was in this class and somehow (dumb luck) I ended up being the only guy.  Gals can get just as raunchy amongst themselves when they think it's just women around.   I should have turned around and inquired more about her dildo usage.  Probably would have ended up on some list.
/not sure where I'm going with this, it's just your cs reminded me of that


I wouldn't mind so much, but when they start talking about my husband, knowing that it is my husband, I would rather they be a little more respectful.  And I have mentioned that to them, but they really don't seem to care.  Otherwise they seem pretty nice, just a little overly crass.
 
2014-04-16 03:24:46 PM  

The Southern Logic Company: TFA: ....straight-splaining ...

I really, really, really hate this term and all associated *splaining terms used.  Stop killing the dialogue with "argument enders", this isn't Jr. High Debate Team.


Let me *splain this to you (sorry, had to).  Killing the dialogue is exactly what the author wants.  He is settled in his view: the world consists of Good People (his team) and Bad People (everyone else), and there will be no dialogue.  There's no point talking to Bad People as if they are Good People who just are incorrect.  Bad People must be treated like Bad People, or they might go on thinking that they're Good People.  And that would be bad.  So yelling "you're Bad People!" is all the strategy that is necessary.

/binary thinking is the mind-killer
 
2014-04-16 03:25:18 PM  

LeroyBourne: In college I was in this class and somehow (dumb luck) I ended up being the only guy.  Gals can get just as raunchy amongst themselves when they think it's just women around.   I should have turned around and inquired more about her dildo usage.  Probably would have ended up on some list.
/not sure where I'm going with this, it's just your cs reminded me of that


I have never gotten raunchier talking about sex than saying something like, Yeah, he does have a big dick. Not even with my close friends. I dunno, to me sex is private.

Maybe this idea is dead and gone now like the dinosaurs. I have never talked about my sex life (when I had one, sob sob...) and I don't want to know about yours.
/I've said too much haven't I?
 
2014-04-16 03:27:31 PM  
if only there was an instructional film on the internets
 about silencing straight boys by plugging up their throats

that said, article was 'tarded
 
2014-04-16 03:29:29 PM  

TreeHugger: drjekel_mrhyde: I had three gay guy and one lesbian come to me to fix their PC, and all of them wanted FF and a antivirus put on it before I finshed

Wait, what?  You convinced them that a clunky, buggy, slow browser would be their best option... And, how is this related to their sexual orientation?


Because the internet says FF's ex CEO was the worst thing since Hitler
 
2014-04-16 03:30:03 PM  

LeroyBourne: littlett's: LeroyBourne: I'd love a token gay guy to be brutally honest with me, hey fat arse, you're eating garbage and getting fat, come to the gym with me, I'll support you fat arse and  workout with you.  Also, I wouldn't be too worried about him hitting on me, most gay people can tell who the straight ones are, and they generally don't cross lines.

There are a few gay guys at the gym I go to that are pretty raunchy when it comes to their discussions about other guys in the gym.  So while they may not hit on them, some of them have plenty to say about the guys in the gym.  And I'm not implying that in no way are all straight guys, or girls for that matter, completely respectful of others in similar conversations. But these guys do not care who overhears their conversation.

In college I was in this class and somehow (dumb luck) I ended up being the only guy.  Gals can get just as raunchy amongst themselves when they think it's just women around.   I should have turned around and inquired more about her dildo usage.  Probably would have ended up on some list.
/not sure where I'm going with this, it's just your cs reminded me of that


I had the same experience in service schools.  7 women, 3 men.  Women are farkin' raunchy.
 
2014-04-16 03:30:19 PM  

neversubmit: wellreadneck: Maggie_Luna: wellreadneck: Diogenes: Ways straight people can best help gay people?

I wouldn't mind a blow job.  I don't know how much that would help out the community, but I'd personally find that helpful.

Meh. Str8 guys suck at blow jobs. I'd rather have a piece of ass.

What if they have a bad ass though?

Define bad.

Too tight, as in it's taking hours (not exaggerating) to open them up to three fingers.


If it's taking that long y'all are doing it wrong. Go smoke a joint and relax and start back with a nice sensual massage and you'll be in in no time.
 
2014-04-16 03:30:41 PM  
How bout we all stfu
 
2014-04-16 03:33:53 PM  
cryinoutloud:
/I've said too much haven't I?

When I first joined Fark I've shared some rather 'inappropriate' stories and I've recalled you responding to some.  So no, no you haven't.
/go on.jpeg
 
2014-04-16 03:34:21 PM  

Joe Blowme: How bout we all stfu


Lead by example?
 
2014-04-16 03:36:02 PM  
Three snaps in Z formation.
 
2014-04-16 03:38:23 PM  
I'm all for anything that encourages more people to shut the hell up.
 
2014-04-16 03:41:13 PM  

Joe Blowme: How bout we all stfu


Sure, just as soon as LGBTs can marry in every state.
 
2014-04-16 03:41:29 PM  
Yay - more annoying homosexuals. Film at eleven.
 
2014-04-16 03:41:45 PM  
Sounds like people are running out of stupid things to get upset about.
 
2014-04-16 03:44:09 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: TreeHugger: drjekel_mrhyde: I had three gay guy and one lesbian come to me to fix their PC, and all of them wanted FF and a antivirus put on it before I finshed

Wait, what?  You convinced them that a clunky, buggy, slow browser would be their best option... And, how is this related to their sexual orientation?

Because the internet says FF's ex CEO was the worst thing since Hitler

mashable.com
 
2014-04-16 03:45:24 PM  

LeroyBourne: cryinoutloud:
/I've said too much haven't I?
When I first joined Fark I've shared some rather 'inappropriate' stories and I've recalled you responding to some.  So no, no you haven't.
/go on.jpeg


Are you saying that I was sex-talking it up? About ME? Maybe in some random way--I recall we were talking about clits or some damn thing the other day--but I wasn't talking about MY clit. I've always been kind of prudish about most of it.
Ah hell, maybe I did. I post all kinds of shiat on here, depending on my mood. It's like my therapy.
 
2014-04-16 03:48:19 PM  

Hey_shut_up: Sounds like people are running out of stupid things to get upset about.


Yeah freedom is stupid.
 
2014-04-16 03:51:48 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Joe Blowme: How bout we all stfu

Lead by example?


Yes they should
 
2014-04-16 03:52:13 PM  
why we shouldn't "punish" people like Brendan Eich, the former CEO of Mozilla, who have actively hurt other people through their at this point ridiculous opposition to same-sex marriage and full civil equality for gay folks more generally.

Shouldn't gay people boycott the entire state of California like they were going to do with Arizona? A majority of voters voted Yes on Prop 8. Shouldn't all these people lose their jobs?
 
2014-04-16 04:04:15 PM  
The Fine Art of Being Come Out To: A Straight Person's Guide To Gay Etiquette

Sure, it's a big site, dated 1996, and it's currently only available on Archive.org, but it's humourous and well worth reading.
 
2014-04-16 04:06:41 PM  
As a member of the LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ community, I have no desire for "straight" (what am I? Crooked?) people to stfu. Actually, what I (and most LGBTQ people I've talked to) would most like is for you (any you, LGBTQ or otherwise) to simply spend 15 minutes getting to know us like you would any other person. What's our job? our family? Do we like sports? What do we watch on TV? Did we catch the latest hockey game/dancing with the stars/RuPaul Drag Race? (bonus points for a straight person who asks that last one)

THEN: "So, excuse me for asking this, but are you LGBTQ?" If you're that curious, just ask. I'd rather take the opportunity to educate you, and I appreciate your up-frontedness about that.

There are exceptions to this, but I think over time it will be better. I get made at LGBTQ folks who get all uppity; look, we're trying to make some progress here, don't jump down someone's throat for trying to understand. People have no problem keeping track of ALL the various occupations there are in the world (and there are probably more of them than there are categories of sex and gender), and yet omg someone suggests that there are more ways to play bedroom games than with just one man and just one woman (or just one position) and all of sudden people can't think and can't keep the categories straight (ha!).

When my sexual orientation can be inquired about with the same blasé that people approach vocations with, then we'll be good. Until then, everything else is just an uncomfortable dance that makes straight people hesitant to ask, thus eliminating the ability of any LGBTQ member to educate or right a stereotype, and makes LGBTQ members ostracized and isolated while at the same time feeling under attack because apparently we can be asked questions that no one would ever THINK of asking a straight person ("How do you guys have sex?" . . "I dunno, how do YOU have sex?").

I'm more than just a label, whether that label is female, sister, daughter, wife, gardener, English graduate, author, artist. . . I'm not a walking sexual orientation (though I understand that since I put myself out there, that's sort of the job I take on). Take the time to respect that and you'll get along much better with LGBTQ folks.
 
2014-04-16 04:13:13 PM  

Rent Party: Women are farkin' raunchy.


Lord yes. My female friends and I could make a sailor blush.
 
2014-04-16 04:14:18 PM  

jigger: majority of voters voted Yes on Prop 8. Shouldn't all these people lose their jobs?


If we could cause that in retaliation for their dickish voting? yes they should

/the majority has proven time and time again, might is right
//right now you win, no gay marriage
///and when we are mightier you'll get your comeuppance
 
2014-04-16 04:14:49 PM  

Peki: I get made at


Yeah, I deserve that English degree. . *sigh*
 
2014-04-16 04:16:29 PM  
Do Depends undergarments advertise on Slate?
http://youtu.be/TtJE3hHEdps
That would explain a lot.
 
2014-04-16 04:16:31 PM  
I forget where I read it, but when the whole Mozilla thing was going on someone wrote about how pissed off people would have been if this guy had gotten fired because he was in favor of same-sex marriage, but since he went against political correctness it was okay for him to get fired over it.  Mozilla apparently didn't have a problem with him or else he wouldn't have gotten to be CEO.  It wasn't like people didn't know about the donation, but that a website that's only about half a step above Craigslist as a hook-up place suddenly got pious about it is ridiculous.  If you're going to boycott every business where the higher-ups' beliefs disagree with yours get ready to never leave the house again.

One of my cousins came out in the seventies.  He has been known to tell attention-whoring homosexual millenials to STFU.  His saying is "I don't want to hear about anybody's sex life."  Good advice, cuz.
 
2014-04-16 04:16:39 PM  

Peki: apparently we can be asked questions that no one would ever THINK of asking a straight person ("How do you guys have sex?" . . "I dunno, how do YOU have sex?").


So is that scissoring stuff for real? I'll never ask again. Just between us. The question, I mean.
 
2014-04-16 04:19:35 PM  

ScaryBottles: Hey_shut_up: Sounds like people are running out of stupid things to get upset about.

Yeah freedom is stupid.


Unless you believe that homosexuality is a sin.   You aren't free to do that anymore.
 
2014-04-16 04:21:48 PM  

QueenMamaBee: Rent Party: Women are farkin' raunchy.

Lord yes. My female friends and I could make a sailor blush.


I was in a naval service school, so I can vouch for the veracity of this statement.
 
2014-04-16 04:21:51 PM  
Did I read this right? Mr Lowder suggests that people who dissssgree with him "are no longer welcome to express them in the public sphere with the expectation of being taken seriously (or allowed high-profile jobs)?

So he suggests that people who disagree with him can't hold "high-profile jobs"? That's not just intolerant. That's oppressive.
 
2014-04-16 04:22:23 PM  

Peki: As a member of the LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ community, I have no desire for "straight" (what am I? Crooked?) people to stfu. Actually, what I (and most LGBTQ people I've talked to) would most like is for you (any you, LGBTQ or otherwise) to simply spend 15 minutes getting to know us like you would any other person. What's our job? our family? Do we like sports? What do we watch on TV? Did we catch the latest hockey game/dancing with the stars/RuPaul Drag Race? (bonus points for a straight person who asks that last one)

THEN: "So, excuse me for asking this, but are you LGBTQ?" If you're that curious, just ask. I'd rather take the opportunity to educate you, and I appreciate your up-frontedness about that.

There are exceptions to this, but I think over time it will be better. I get made at LGBTQ folks who get all uppity; look, we're trying to make some progress here, don't jump down someone's throat for trying to understand. People have no problem keeping track of ALL the various occupations there are in the world (and there are probably more of them than there are categories of sex and gender), and yet omg someone suggests that there are more ways to play bedroom games than with just one man and just one woman (or just one position) and all of sudden people can't think and can't keep the categories straight (ha!).

When my sexual orientation can be inquired about with the same blasé that people approach vocations with, then we'll be good. Until then, everything else is just an uncomfortable dance that makes straight people hesitant to ask, thus eliminating the ability of any LGBTQ member to educate or right a stereotype, and makes LGBTQ members ostracized and isolated while at the same time feeling under attack because apparently we can be asked questions that no one would ever THINK of asking a straight person ("How do you guys have sex?" . . "I dunno, how do YOU have sex?").

I'm more than just a label, whether that label is female, sister, daughter, wife, gardener, Englis ...


speak for yourself, there's a whole internet out there that straights can use to learn about gay people. If I'm going to educate those morons I want to get paid. Many times when people start asking questions what they really want is to try and humiliate me

/but of course when they read up on the subject they give the reactions you see in this thread "why do gay people complain so much? waaaaah why can't gays just go disappear? It's not bigotry to try and hurt other people because you disagree with their private life choices, respect muh bigotry!"
//honestly the article writer is correct. Some bigots can't be reasoned with, and I don't think it's overboard to throw what little weight you have around and remove as much of their power as possible.
 
2014-04-16 04:25:56 PM  
Panatheist: If I'm going to educate those morons I want to get paid.


You're not being paid here.
 
2014-04-16 04:28:28 PM  

Panatheist: Peki: As a member of the LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ community, I have no desire for "straight" (what am I? Crooked?) people to stfu. Actually, what I (and most LGBTQ people I've talked to) would most like is for you (any you, LGBTQ or otherwise) to simply spend 15 minutes getting to know us like you would any other person. What's our job? our family? Do we like sports? What do we watch on TV? Did we catch the latest hockey game/dancing with the stars/RuPaul Drag Race? (bonus points for a straight person who asks that last one)

THEN: "So, excuse me for asking this, but are you LGBTQ?" If you're that curious, just ask. I'd rather take the opportunity to educate you, and I appreciate your up-frontedness about that.

There are exceptions to this, but I think over time it will be better. I get made at LGBTQ folks who get all uppity; look, we're trying to make some progress here, don't jump down someone's throat for trying to understand. People have no problem keeping track of ALL the various occupations there are in the world (and there are probably more of them than there are categories of sex and gender), and yet omg someone suggests that there are more ways to play bedroom games than with just one man and just one woman (or just one position) and all of sudden people can't think and can't keep the categories straight (ha!).

When my sexual orientation can be inquired about with the same blasé that people approach vocations with, then we'll be good. Until then, everything else is just an uncomfortable dance that makes straight people hesitant to ask, thus eliminating the ability of any LGBTQ member to educate or right a stereotype, and makes LGBTQ members ostracized and isolated while at the same time feeling under attack because apparently we can be asked questions that no one would ever THINK of asking a straight person ("How do you guys have sex?" . . "I dunno, how do YOU have sex?").

I'm more than just a label, whether that label is female, sister, daughter, wife, gardener, ...


It sounds like people just want you to disappear. Maybe it's because you sound like a horrible person. So, look to that I guess?
 
2014-04-16 04:29:27 PM  
" the taint of homophobia "
 
2014-04-16 04:38:41 PM  

HectorSchwartz: ScaryBottles: Hey_shut_up: Sounds like people are running out of stupid things to get upset about.

Yeah freedom is stupid.

Unless you believe that homosexuality is a sin.   You aren't free to do that anymore.

You'll have to forgive me if I don't cry my eyes out because you aren't allowed to treat other Americans like dirt anymore.
 
2014-04-16 04:42:37 PM  

HectorSchwartz: Unless you believe that homosexuality is a sin.   You aren't free to do that anymore.


You're free to believe whatever you want.

You're not free to try and force people to behave according to your beliefs.
 
2014-04-16 04:43:56 PM  

perigee: " the taint of homophobia "


Homo = same / phobia = fear

Homophobia = fear of the same.

/Psychobabble.
 
2014-04-16 04:48:14 PM  

techgeek07: What class should I be looking for next semester?


For me, it was a Nutrition class. Filled with Nursing students.
 
2014-04-16 04:50:17 PM  

Panatheist: speak for yourself, there's a whole internet out there that straights can use to learn about gay people. If I'm going to educate those morons I want to get paid. Many times when people start asking questions what they really want is to try and humiliate me

/but of course when they read up on the subject they give the reactions you see in this thread "why do gay people complain so much? waaaaah why can't gays just go disappear? It's not bigotry to try and hurt other people because you disagree with their private life choices, respect muh bigotry!"
//honestly the article writer is correct. Some bigots can't be reasoned with, and I don't think it's overboard to throw what little weight you have around and remove as much of their power as possible.


Requiring payment is a boundary to information access. I want to be accessible and approachable. Sure straights  can go on the internet and learn, but they rarely will until confronted with someone who they know who happens to be gay.

Oh, they try to humiliate me. They fail fabulously, and usually their friends tease them as a result. I've been at that game way too long to not know some really good tricks to flip their words back on them. And the questions and comments are so old and recycled that it's almost too easy to bat them away. Also helps that I know the Bible better than most "Christians" (using the term very loosely) do, so those sorts usually just storm off and leave me alone after that.

Creative Name: t sounds like people just want you to disappear. Maybe it's because you sound like a horrible person. So, look to that I guess?


If you mean me specifically, no, has never really happened. In fact, pretty much everyone I meet wants more of my time; it's actually kind of horrifying for me since I'm an introvert. As for gay people in general, of course people want us to disappear. We cause problems, we make people uncomfortable because they have to confront the not-so-nice parts of themselves, and we're loud and obnoxious at times. We're human. Men, women, gay, straight, all live on earth. We all gotta learn to deal with it. 

This is a good statement to go by, as far as disappearing goes: Gay people stand on top of a mountain screaming "Don't look at me!"

The problem is that if you don't scream, then nothing changes. If you scream, people accuse you of attention whoring. So. . . do I take the beating and let it happen, or do I scream like hell and deal with the fall out in the hopes than the next guy doesn't have to? African-Americans had to do the same to get where they are today, and we still have racism issues. As long as there's bigotry, someone's got to stand up against it.
 
2014-04-16 04:53:08 PM  

QueenMamaBee: Rent Party: Women are farkin' raunchy.

Lord yes. My female friends and I could make a sailor blush.


I'm not a sailor so I'm curious what would happen to me
 
2014-04-16 04:55:27 PM  
Because, if anything, people should take advice from Slate.

media2.giphy.com
 
2014-04-16 05:02:53 PM  

Panatheist: honestly the article writer is correct. Some bigots can't be reasoned with, and I don't think it's overboard to throw what little weight you have around and remove as much of their power as possible.


We should go after the Socialists when we are done with the homophobes. Then the Trade Unionists. None of them deserve jobs either, for the offense of being unMericuh!n.

/then the Jews
 
2014-04-16 05:06:52 PM  

umad: Panatheist: honestly the article writer is correct. Some bigots can't be reasoned with, and I don't think it's overboard to throw what little weight you have around and remove as much of their power as possible.

We should go after the Socialists when we are done with the homophobes. Then the Trade Unionists. None of them deserve jobs either, for the offense of being unMericuh!n.

/then the Jews


Weep and wail all you want the future is coming whether you like it or not.
 
2014-04-16 05:07:45 PM  

snarfyboy: HectorSchwartz: Unless you believe that homosexuality is a sin.   You aren't free to do that anymore.

You're free to believe whatever you want.

You're not free to try and force people to behave according to your beliefs.


People's view points aren't allowed to change?  He lost his job because the way he felt about an issue 6 YEARS ago!  Heck, Obama didn't even come around to publicly support gay marriage until May 2012.  During that time, millions of people's views have changed on the topic and I haven't heard of any public demonstrations this guy has had since then.  Unless he is actively shaping the policy of his company or is still funding anti-gay marriage causes, why are they attacking him?  More than half of California voted against gay marriage in 2008 and a lot less feel that way now, is 2008 the arbitrary cut off that you aren't "enlightened" unless you were in favor of gay marriage before that date, therefore you should lose your job now?
 
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