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(The Onion)   FBI uncovers Al-Qaeda plot to just sit back and enjoy the collapse of the United States   (theonion.com) divider line 175
    More: Satire, FBI Uncovers, FBI, al-Qaeda, United States, health crisis, industrial sectors, terrorist threats  
•       •       •

7863 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Apr 2014 at 8:12 AM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



175 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-16 05:44:23 AM
The problem is that this isn't really satire.  The party of Got Mine Fark You is perfectly willing to let out country fall apart after they're already dead in return for tax cuts now. Our infrastructure is crumbling.  Our transportation systems fall farther and farther behind every year.  Our health system is increasingly inefficient and costly.  Our justice system and law enforcement grows ever more unbalanced.
 
2014-04-16 07:04:05 AM
And the party of the under-privliged is working hard to expand its constituency.

/and succeeding beyond its dreams
 
2014-04-16 08:08:43 AM
And all the while the bankers are continuing to expand their wealth and power.

Shouldn't have used the satire tag.
 
2014-04-16 08:14:07 AM
The party that benefited the most from rural electrification and the interstate highway system and farm subsidies is ready to fight socialism!!!!
 
2014-04-16 08:15:00 AM
Go away, 'baitin'.
 
2014-04-16 08:15:11 AM
The FBI is probably behind that plot, too.
 
2014-04-16 08:16:59 AM
I wonder how big of a flame war I can start on FB sharing this article. A lot of people will skip past The Onion and think its true

/technically it is partly true
 
2014-04-16 08:18:33 AM
I'm already starting to hate them for their freedom.
 
2014-04-16 08:19:05 AM

eagles95: I wonder how big of a flame war I can start on FB sharing this article. A lot of people will skip past The Onion and think its true

/technically it is partly true


I'm sure it will be a staple on literallyunbelievable.org for the next few weeks.
 
2014-04-16 08:22:02 AM

Emposter: The party of Got Mine Fark You


doesn't that describe most political parties?
 
2014-04-16 08:29:24 AM
Just look at the strengthening of those ominous 3-letter acronyms spreading fear, uncertainty and doubt  by having the power to stick their collective noses into our daily business and make life miserable for travelers - NSA, TSA, ICE, Homeland security etc, and the refusal to ditch that Orwellian-named PATRIOT act - I reckon Al Q are pretty pleased with themselves right now..
 
2014-04-16 08:30:34 AM
www.bitlogic.com
 
2014-04-16 08:31:04 AM

Day_Old_Dutchie: Just look at the strengthening of those ominous 3-letter acronyms spreading fear, uncertainty and doubt  by having the power to stick their collective noses into our daily business and make life miserable for travelers - NSA, TSA, ICE, Homeland security etc, and the refusal to ditch that Orwellian-named PATRIOT act - I reckon Al Q are pretty pleased with themselves right now..


Surely, you don't oppose the militarization of regulatory agencies?  I mean, it's for your own good!
 
2014-04-16 08:31:49 AM

Lenny_da_Hog: I'm already starting to hate them for their freedom.


I don't think freedom or the lack thereof is the real divide between our societies.

I think it's toilet paper.
 
2014-04-16 08:33:55 AM

Emposter: The problem is that this isn't really satire.  The party of Got Mine Fark You is perfectly willing to let out country fall apart after they're already dead in return for tax cuts now. Our infrastructure is crumbling.  Our transportation systems fall farther and farther behind every year.  Our health system is increasingly inefficient and costly.  Our justice system and law enforcement grows ever more unbalanced.


Yeah, it is "those other guys" causing all the problems.
 
2014-04-16 08:34:22 AM

eagles95: I wonder how big of a flame war I can start on FB sharing this article. A lot of people will skip past The Onion and think its true

/technically it is partly true


I shared it on my page before reading it.  This will piss off a few family members.

\poking badgers with spoons is fun
 
2014-04-16 08:34:53 AM

Emposter: The problem is that this isn't really satire.  The party of Got Mine Fark You is perfectly willing to let out country fall apart after they're already dead in return for tax cuts now. Our infrastructure is crumbling.  Our transportation systems fall farther and farther behind every year.  Our health system is increasingly inefficient and costly.  Our justice system and law enforcement grows ever more unbalanced.


Damn straight, Libturd!  Don't like it?  Move to a third-world IslamoCommunist hellhole like Sweden!
 
2014-04-16 08:35:03 AM

The Muthaship: And the party of the under-privliged is working hard to expand its constituency.


www.vanitatis.elconfidencial.com

                                                                      Underprivileged?

                                                            stenglelaw.com
 
2014-04-16 08:35:40 AM
That was some Tom Tomorrow level of pointed satire right there.  Well done Onion.
 
2014-04-16 08:36:09 AM
I'm pretty sure  Al-Qaeda is behind ObamaCare, so yeah, just sit back and watch at this point.
 
2014-04-16 08:36:23 AM
Thanks Obanion.
 
2014-04-16 08:38:13 AM

Emposter: The problem is that this isn't really satire.  The party of Got Mine Fark You is perfectly willing to let out country fall apart after they're already dead in return for tax cuts now. Our infrastructure is crumbling.  Our transportation systems fall farther and farther behind every year.  Our health system is increasingly inefficient and costly.  Our justice system and law enforcement grows ever more unbalanced.


The Muthaship: And the party of the under-privliged is working hard to expand its constituency.

/and succeeding beyond its dreams


Done in two.

As long as we treat elections like playoff games, we deserve what we get.
 
2014-04-16 08:39:42 AM

Emposter: The problem is that this isn't really satire.  The party of Got Mine Fark You is perfectly willing to let out country fall apart after they're already dead in return for tax cuts now. Our infrastructure is crumbling.  Our transportation systems fall farther and farther behind every year.  Our health system is increasingly inefficient and costly.  Our justice system and law enforcement grows ever more unbalanced.


What's wrong with our transportation system? We're not throwing enough money at amtrak?
 
2014-04-16 08:41:22 AM
Is the problem not just one of self image?

The poorer parts of the world are getting less poor - in return the industrialized countries are less untouchable.

Let's rejoice over the coming equality!

/and not fact check what I just said
//Spend spend spend spend!
 
2014-04-16 08:42:53 AM

AngryDragon: Emposter: The problem is that this isn't really satire.  The party of Got Mine Fark You is perfectly willing to let out country fall apart after they're already dead in return for tax cuts now. Our infrastructure is crumbling.  Our transportation systems fall farther and farther behind every year.  Our health system is increasingly inefficient and costly.  Our justice system and law enforcement grows ever more unbalanced.

The Muthaship: And the party of the under-privliged is working hard to expand its constituency.

/and succeeding beyond its dreams

Done in two.

As long as we treat elections like playoff games, we deserve what we get.


I don't even know what you are talking about.  It is very important to my self esteem that my side wins.
 
2014-04-16 08:43:34 AM

bighairyguy: I'm pretty sure  Al-Qaeda is behind ObamaCare, so yeah, just sit back and watch at this point.


So weird....Obama seems like a smart guy, but surely there are faster and more effective ways to destroy America.
 
2014-04-16 08:44:06 AM

Frank N Stein: Emposter: The problem is that this isn't really satire.  The party of Got Mine Fark You is perfectly willing to let out country fall apart after they're already dead in return for tax cuts now. Our infrastructure is crumbling.  Our transportation systems fall farther and farther behind every year.  Our health system is increasingly inefficient and costly.  Our justice system and law enforcement grows ever more unbalanced.

What's wrong with our transportation system? We're not throwing enough money at amtrak?


What do you gain by playing dumb?
 
2014-04-16 08:45:11 AM
We must destroy this country in order to save it.

Thanks Obama
 
2014-04-16 08:47:13 AM

AngryDragon: Emposter: The problem is that this isn't really satire.  The party of Got Mine Fark You is perfectly willing to let out country fall apart after they're already dead in return for tax cuts now. Our infrastructure is crumbling.  Our transportation systems fall farther and farther behind every year.  Our health system is increasingly inefficient and costly.  Our justice system and law enforcement grows ever more unbalanced.

The Muthaship: And the party of the under-privliged is working hard to expand its constituency.

/and succeeding beyond its dreams

Done in two.

As long as we treat elections like playoff games, we deserve what we get.


^
|
This
 
2014-04-16 08:49:14 AM
According to this, infrastructure spending has plummeted since Obama became president, in spite of the total spending skyrocketing.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/05/24/u-s-infra st ructure-spending-has-plummeted-since-2008/

So what up with that.
 
2014-04-16 08:50:31 AM

HotWingConspiracy: Frank N Stein: Emposter: The problem is that this isn't really satire.  The party of Got Mine Fark You is perfectly willing to let out country fall apart after they're already dead in return for tax cuts now. Our infrastructure is crumbling.  Our transportation systems fall farther and farther behind every year.  Our health system is increasingly inefficient and costly.  Our justice system and law enforcement grows ever more unbalanced.

What's wrong with our transportation system? We're not throwing enough money at amtrak?

What do you gain by playing dumb?


What do you gain by getting offended by a legit question? You're smart, what did he mean when he said our transportation system falls farther behind?
 
2014-04-16 08:51:16 AM

bighairyguy: I'm pretty sure  Al-Qaeda is behind ObamaCare, so yeah, just sit back and watch at this point.


Because everyone knows the key to destroying a population is making sure they have equal access to medical care?
 
2014-04-16 08:52:10 AM
Sure is working.

Dems want nobody to work, nobody to have any rights, and to breed like rabbits.

Not exactly a recipe for success.
 
2014-04-16 08:52:20 AM
Since when did the Onion start reporting actual news?
 
2014-04-16 08:53:10 AM
That's genius.

/and so true
 
2014-04-16 08:53:37 AM

Thunderpipes: Sure is working.

Dems want nobody to work, nobody to have any rights, and to breed like rabbits.

Not exactly a recipe for success.


Oh yeah?  Then why do I have to pay for their birth control?  Oh yeah, they told me there's a war on women.

;-)
 
2014-04-16 08:55:46 AM

d_lebowski: eagles95: I wonder how big of a flame war I can start on FB sharing this article. A lot of people will skip past The Onion and think its true

/technically it is partly true

I shared it on my page before reading it.  This will piss off a few family members.

\poking badgers with spoons is fun


My  wife and son are heading back to Wisconsin where we are originally from tomorrow to visit friends and family. I'm at work since I just started. I shouldn't post it since they will catch hell from it.

/sharing on fb
 
2014-04-16 08:57:41 AM

Frank N Stein: HotWingConspiracy: Frank N Stein: Emposter: The problem is that this isn't really satire.  The party of Got Mine Fark You is perfectly willing to let out country fall apart after they're already dead in return for tax cuts now. Our infrastructure is crumbling.  Our transportation systems fall farther and farther behind every year.  Our health system is increasingly inefficient and costly.  Our justice system and law enforcement grows ever more unbalanced.

What's wrong with our transportation system? We're not throwing enough money at amtrak?

What do you gain by playing dumb?

What do you gain by getting offended by a legit question? You're smart, what did he mean when he said our transportation system falls farther behind?


I'm not offended at all. You're smart too, go fetch me some articles that say our transportation system is modernized and not crumbling from neglect.
 
2014-04-16 08:58:56 AM

GORDON: According to this, infrastructure spending has plummeted since Obama became president, in spite of the total spending skyrocketing.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/05/24/u-s-infra st ructure-spending-has-plummeted-since-2008/

So what up with that.


What do you representatives and senators say? After all, they write the budget
 
2014-04-16 08:59:51 AM

eagles95: d_lebowski: eagles95: I wonder how big of a flame war I can start on FB sharing this article. A lot of people will skip past The Onion and think its true

/technically it is partly true

I shared it on my page before reading it.  This will piss off a few family members.

\poking badgers with spoons is fun

My  wife and son are heading back to Wisconsin where we are originally from tomorrow to visit friends and family. I'm at work since I just started. I shouldn't post it since they will catch hell from it.

/sharing on fb


I hope they're ready for more snow.
 
SH
2014-04-16 09:01:02 AM

Thunderpipes: Sure is working.

Dems want nobody to work, nobody to have any rights, and to breed like rabbits.

Not exactly a recipe for success.


Where do you idiots come up with this BS? Is it so desperate over there on the right that you have to spew your ridiculous fantasies out loud?
Or possibly this is simply thinly veiled racism?
 
2014-04-16 09:01:35 AM

Public Savant: Is the problem not just one of self image?



There's alot of urban blight in the US, unemployment and unsatisfactory employment is a big problem, crime still plagues urban hot spots (to the detriment of minorities and immigrants more than most) and people are angry about a good number of issues.   Not just disgruntled, but "pointing guns at each other" angry in some cases.

We are obviously better off than most of the world, but not where folks expect a moon-landing superpower to be.

/I'd say the image problem is being provoked by actual issues that go unresolved.
/The people trying to stir the pot are never wanting for fresh ingredients.
/Who can blame them, since our leaders are all about getting elected and not doing actual leadership stuff.
 
2014-04-16 09:03:16 AM

way south: Public Savant: Is the problem not just one of self image?


There's alot of urban blight in the US, unemployment and unsatisfactory employment is a big problem, crime still plagues urban hot spots (to the detriment of minorities and immigrants more than most) and people are angry about a good number of issues.   Not just disgruntled, but "pointing guns at each other" angry in some cases.

We are obviously better off than most of the world, but not where folks expect a moon-landing superpower to be.

/I'd say the image problem is being provoked by actual issues that go unresolved.
/The people trying to stir the pot are never wanting for fresh ingredients.
/Who can blame them, since our leaders are all about getting elected and not doing actual leadership stuff.


Because both sides are bad.

Amirite?
 
2014-04-16 09:05:13 AM

Thunderpipes: Dems want nobody to work


Because, of course, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A LIBERAL WITH A JOB.
 
2014-04-16 09:05:40 AM

stratagos: GORDON: According to this, infrastructure spending has plummeted since Obama became president, in spite of the total spending skyrocketing.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/05/24/u-s-infra st ructure-spending-has-plummeted-since-2008/

So what up with that.

What do you representatives and senators say? After all, they write the budget


Yeah but they also wrote the budget during the last Iraq war, but I'm told that it was all Bush's fault, so I am confused as to when the president is actually responsible for anything.
 
2014-04-16 09:06:45 AM

The Muthaship: And the party of the under-privliged is working hard to expand its constituency.

/and succeeding beyond its dreams

 Oh the highlight of your day, rejoicing in everyones, includes yours inability to change shiat.
 
2014-04-16 09:07:07 AM

tripleseven: way south: Public Savant: Is the problem not just one of self image?


There's alot of urban blight in the US, unemployment and unsatisfactory employment is a big problem, crime still plagues urban hot spots (to the detriment of minorities and immigrants more than most) and people are angry about a good number of issues.   Not just disgruntled, but "pointing guns at each other" angry in some cases.

We are obviously better off than most of the world, but not where folks expect a moon-landing superpower to be.

/I'd say the image problem is being provoked by actual issues that go unresolved.
/The people trying to stir the pot are never wanting for fresh ingredients.
/Who can blame them, since our leaders are all about getting elected and not doing actual leadership stuff.

Because both sides are bad.

Amirite?


What difference does it make?

/The fact that leaders don't care about the difference between angry mobs and terrorists is kind of alarming tho...
 
2014-04-16 09:07:29 AM

Frank N Stein: Emposter: The problem is that this isn't really satire.  The party of Got Mine Fark You is perfectly willing to let out country fall apart after they're already dead in return for tax cuts now. Our infrastructure is crumbling.  Our transportation systems fall farther and farther behind every year.  Our health system is increasingly inefficient and costly.  Our justice system and law enforcement grows ever more unbalanced.

What's wrong with our transportation system? We're not throwing enough money at amtrak?


I can't imagine

kttc.images.worldnow.com

why anyone would think

i.huffpost.com
that our transportation infrastructure

www.billburmaster.com

isn't just perfect.

Seriously, do *any* reading on this at all.  We aren't investing anywhere near enough money in basic infrastructure maintenance and upgrades: our roads and bridges are increasingly unsafe, our electrical grid is a mess and our Internet access is a joke compared to the rest of the developed world.
 
2014-04-16 09:09:15 AM
way south:
Because both sides are bad.

Amirite?

What difference does it make?

/The fact that leaders don't care about the difference between angry mobs and terrorists is kind of alarming tho...


The difference is that some of us grow weary being called racist when we say the current president is as shiatty as all the rest of them.  Someone, somewhere started this "us v. them" bullshiat.  It needs to be recognized and stopped otherwise shiat aint ever going to get better and we'll just keep voting for "our side."
 
2014-04-16 09:10:51 AM

SH: Thunderpipes: Sure is working.

Dems want nobody to work, nobody to have any rights, and to breed like rabbits.

Not exactly a recipe for success.

Where do you idiots come up with this BS? Is it so desperate over there on the right that you have to spew your ridiculous fantasies out loud?
Or possibly this is simply thinly veiled racism?


In what way am I wrong? Even the President's vaunted CBO said Obamacare encourages people to work less. It is very apparent Dems want to remove the 2nd amendment, parts of the 1st and 4th. Dems encourage low income, low educated people to have families and the government will support them. That in turn insures future votes.

This is all 100% correct, and you know it.

And you pulled the race card where no race was mentioned anywhere. How classic.
 
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