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(Daily Mail)   High school coach facing jail for A) having a sexual relationship with a minor, B) embezzling school funds, or C) shoving a kid who farted in his face   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 54
    More: Asinine, Michael Smith, Manhattan Bridge  
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7815 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Apr 2014 at 12:21 AM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



54 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-16 12:27:34 AM  
Any law against farting in someone's face? Is that assault?
 
2014-04-16 12:29:48 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: Any law against farting in someone's face? Is that assault?


Could be an ass assault.
 
2014-04-16 12:29:50 AM  
What made me laugh even more: State police say he shoved the student so hard into the wall, the force broke -- a thermostat.

Not "the kid's collar bone" or "the kid's arm" or even "a locker door" but "a thermostat". As if, you know, those things are built to withstand so much more than, say, the temperature.
 
2014-04-16 12:29:53 AM  
Was he bent down to tie his shoe or something?
 
2014-04-16 12:31:19 AM  
What was his face doing down there? This is a macho fball coach. I call bs on the fart excuse.
 
2014-04-16 12:31:58 AM  
Artist's recreation of the event:

akiwood.com
 
2014-04-16 12:32:56 AM  
Great, yet another fart thread.
 
2014-04-16 12:36:07 AM  
A man once farted in my general direction. Once.
 
2014-04-16 12:39:23 AM  
www.dumpaday.com
 
2014-04-16 12:40:34 AM  
How much wind

would a windbreaker break,

If a windbreaker could

break wind?
 
2014-04-16 12:58:21 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: Any law against farting in someone's face? Is that assault?


Did the kid just eat at Taco Bell?
 
2014-04-16 12:59:09 AM  
People have been charged for assault for farting on cops.

http://laughing-stalk.blogspot.com/2008/09/west-virginia-man-charged -w ith-farting.html

Sounds like self defense to me.
 
2014-04-16 12:59:59 AM  
I think that's a natural human reaction.  If someone did that to me, instinct would be to shove them away.  Wouldn't even be a thought behind it, my body would just react.
 
2014-04-16 01:02:12 AM  
HS ProTip:  Never fart on the football coach...never
 
2014-04-16 01:04:19 AM  
My mom was waiting for my dad to unlock their truck yesterday & ripped a really loud, really long fart.

What she didn't see was that behind her was a car parked with the window rolled down & a driver in the front seat. She totally ripped a righteous fart right in the guy's face. My dad saw the whole thing & could not stop laughing...

/css
//there's never a good reason to touch a student
 
2014-04-16 01:08:52 AM  
PsychoLaurie:   "//there's never a good reason to touch a student"

That's utter BS, and what is wrong in schools today.  Kids regularly threaten, shove, hit, or assault (yes farting in someones face is assault) staff and teachers.  If a teach so much as grazes a student while trying to flee or defend themselves, the teacher gets sacked.
It's time to re-establish the student/adult relationships, and stop this non-sense.  Most of the time these kids get a slap on the wrist, and are back in class.  It teaches them nothing but disrespect for authority, and it follows them in to adult hood.

/many friends are K-12 teachers
// i'm a college prof, and see the aftermath
 
2014-04-16 01:10:54 AM  
Just another example of kids being about to do any damn thing they want and teachers being powerless.
 
2014-04-16 01:11:54 AM  
www.blog.paisleytunes.com
 
2014-04-16 01:20:29 AM  

nipner: PsychoLaurie:   "//there's never a good reason to touch a student"

That's utter BS, and what is wrong in schools today.  Kids regularly threaten, shove, hit, or assault (yes farting in someones face is assault) staff and teachers.  If a teach so much as grazes a student while trying to flee or defend themselves, the teacher gets sacked.
It's time to re-establish the student/adult relationships, and stop this non-sense.  Most of the time these kids get a slap on the wrist, and are back in class.  It teaches them nothing but disrespect for authority, and it follows them in to adult hood.

/many friends are K-12 teachers
// i'm a college prof, and see the aftermath


QFMFT
 
2014-04-16 01:26:45 AM  
This country is so scared of law suits that teachers get shiat upon regularly.
 
2014-04-16 01:28:50 AM  

powhound: This country is so scared of law suits that teachers get shiat upon regularly.


First farting and now this.
 
2014-04-16 01:36:45 AM  
Sounds like the little brat got what he deserved.  And, he should have to pay for the overpriced thermostat too.
 
2014-04-16 01:48:02 AM  
Had I been the coach and a student farted directly in my face, I'd probably have pushed him through the wall.

I recall when I was in High School, guys used to think it was funny to back up next to some unsuspecting victim and let one rip. I was actually pleased when they discovered they could light their farts on fire -- because it never dawned on most that they'd burn their arses also.

For awhile there, we had a bunch of guys walking kinda funny due to burns to their butt cheeks and groin.
 
2014-04-16 01:49:27 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: powhound: This country is so scared of law suits that teachers get shiat upon regularly.

First farting and now this.


That escalated quickly.
 
2014-04-16 01:51:34 AM  
i2.photobucket.com
Maybe the kid is Fartman's,  son Fartboy!

/yes Howard Stern ripped it of from National Lampoon
 
2014-04-16 02:26:30 AM  

borg: [i2.photobucket.com image 576x792]
Maybe the kid is Fartman's,  son Fartboy!


/yes Howard Stern ripped it of from National Lampoon



Or Johnny Fartpants from Viz comic.
pbs.twimg.com
 
2014-04-16 02:31:03 AM  
Somewhat relevant:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vafxnkWndI (starts 1.36)
 
2014-04-16 03:30:54 AM  

starzman2003: ArcadianRefugee: Any law against farting in someone's face? Is that assault?

Could be an ass assault.


It was the kid's asphalt.
 
2014-04-16 03:36:53 AM  
It stinks.
 
2014-04-16 04:16:34 AM  

powhound: This country is so scared of law suits that teachers get shiat upon regularly.


Where are teachers being shat upon regularly? That must be one tough school...
 
2014-04-16 05:26:55 AM  

PsychoLaurie: My mom was waiting for my dad to unlock their truck yesterday & ripped a really loud, really long fart.

What she didn't see was that behind her was a car parked with the window rolled down & a driver in the front seat. She totally ripped a righteous fart right in the guy's face. My dad saw the whole thing & could not stop laughing...

/css
//there's never a good reason to touch a student


There are plenty of reasons to touch a student. I used to work as a teacher and sometimes it's necessary. The liberal idea of "talking to people" doesn't work, and especially when your opponent is not yet a fully developed adult.

Teachers should be allowed to touch, shame, and yell at students within reason. Where the hell did grey areas go?
 
2014-04-16 05:37:22 AM  

nipner: PsychoLaurie:   "//there's never a good reason to touch a student"

That's utter BS, and what is wrong in schools today.  Kids regularly threaten, shove, hit, or assault (yes farting in someones face is assault) staff and teachers.  If a teach so much as grazes a student while trying to flee or defend themselves, the teacher gets sacked.
It's time to re-establish the student/adult relationships, and stop this non-sense.  Most of the time these kids get a slap on the wrist, and are back in class.  It teaches them nothing but disrespect for authority, and it follows them in to adult hood.

/many friends are K-12 teachers
// i'm a college prof, and see the aftermath


Shenanigans. No university faculty member, from the part-time adjunct to the Chancellor of the school, would refer to him or herself as a "college prof".
 
2014-04-16 05:41:40 AM  

Gyrfalcon: powhound: This country is so scared of law suits that teachers get shiat upon regularly.

Where are teachers being shat upon regularly? That must be one tough school...


And somewhere in Germany, an adult film director pushes his chair away from the desk.
 
2014-04-16 06:44:28 AM  
Really? That little bastard kid is lucky thats all that happened to him. Apparently this little prick kid doesn't have respect for his elders and needs his ass beat a little more often i say. If it had been me he did that to, I would have given a backhand that would send his ass across the room.
 
2014-04-16 06:50:26 AM  

nipner: PsychoLaurie:   "//there's never a good reason to touch a student"

That's utter BS, and what is wrong in schools today.  Kids regularly threaten, shove, hit, or assault (yes farting in someones face is assault) staff and teachers.  If a teach so much as grazes a student while trying to flee or defend themselves, the teacher gets sacked.
It's time to re-establish the student/adult relationships, and stop this non-sense.  Most of the time these kids get a slap on the wrist, and are back in class.  It teaches them nothing but disrespect for authority, and it follows them in to adult hood.

/many friends are K-12 teachers
// i'm a college prof, and see the aftermath


Finally! Someone with some common sense! Kids need to know their damn place: they are kids, we are adults. They respect us and do what the fark we say or they get their asses beat. That's exactly how I was raised and i turned out pretty good. 10 years military service, college, have a lovely wife, an awesome paying job, and have never so much as gotten a parking ticket. I still refer to people older than me as sir out of respect. Sometimes they give me a look thats says "holy shiat, a young man with respect? They still have those?"
 
hej
2014-04-16 07:10:44 AM  

starzman2003: ArcadianRefugee: Any law against farting in someone's face? Is that assault?

Could be an ass assault.


Would have gone with "ass ault."
 
2014-04-16 07:47:22 AM  
THIS is what Stand Your Ground was invented for.  My farts are toxic and no person should ever have to deal with them in the face.

/Especially when I shart.
 
2014-04-16 07:56:51 AM  
I think we're all forgetting how much fb coaches are the worst people on campus. Also they don't know anything about history. Fark em, I'd fart on him too.
 
2014-04-16 08:04:42 AM  

nipner: PsychoLaurie:   "//there's never a good reason to touch a student"

That's utter BS, and what is wrong in schools today.  Kids regularly threaten, shove, hit, or assault (yes farting in someones face is assault) staff and teachers.  If a teach so much as grazes a student while trying to flee or defend themselves, the teacher gets sacked.
It's time to re-establish the student/adult relationships, and stop this non-sense.  Most of the time these kids get a slap on the wrist, and are back in class.  It teaches them nothing but disrespect for authority, and it follows them in to adult hood.

/many friends are K-12 teachers
// i'm a college prof, and see the aftermath


You see it here on Fark were people encourage their kids to not listen to students.  "My 7 year old son is smarter than his teacher" was said not much more than a few weeks ago.  I am not a fan of teachers but they should have the kids respect when they are in their class.
 
2014-04-16 08:36:12 AM  

TNel: You see it here on Fark were people encourage their kids to not listen to students.


WAT?
 
2014-04-16 08:52:53 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: What made me laugh even more: State police say he shoved the student so hard into the wall, the force broke -- a thermostat.

Not "the kid's collar bone" or "the kid's arm" or even "a locker door" but "a thermostat". As if, you know, those things are built to withstand so much more than, say, the temperature.


And the way teenage boys are known to horse around, I wouldn't be surprised if the thermostat wasn't already hanging by the tiny wires.  I would go with if the kid's shoulder really hurting him, he's a snowflake.  However, I'm guessing he was over playing it, like a flop artist.

The last time I had to replace a thermostat, was because my two sil's were horsing around in my hallway and took it out.  So suck it up little boy, two girls did the same thing and barely noticed they had hit it.
 
2014-04-16 08:59:55 AM  

highwayrun: nipner: PsychoLaurie:   "//there's never a good reason to touch a student"

That's utter BS, and what is wrong in schools today.  Kids regularly threaten, shove, hit, or assault (yes farting in someones face is assault) staff and teachers.  If a teach so much as grazes a student while trying to flee or defend themselves, the teacher gets sacked.
It's time to re-establish the student/adult relationships, and stop this non-sense.  Most of the time these kids get a slap on the wrist, and are back in class.  It teaches them nothing but disrespect for authority, and it follows them in to adult hood.

/many friends are K-12 teachers
// i'm a college prof, and see the aftermath

Shenanigans. No university faculty member, from the part-time adjunct to the Chancellor of the school, would refer to him or herself as a "college prof".


Hi. I'm Son of Thunder and I'm a college prof. You, sir/madam/other, are incorrect.
 
2014-04-16 09:04:30 AM  
I hate that damn word.

Let's start calling it 'toot' instead.
 
2014-04-16 09:13:36 AM  

bikerbob59: I hate that damn word.

Let's start calling it 'toot' instead.


Even that's not watering it down enough for some people. My wife's family says 'puppy toot' regardless of whether it's a human or a puppy or a full grown dog doing the tooting.

"excuse me I puppy tooted"
"uh you're not a puppy, shouldnt that be human toot?"
"DONT BE SO CRASS"
 
2014-04-16 09:18:18 AM  

bikerbob59: I hate that damn word.

Let's start calling it 'toot' instead.


My mil tried to get the family to use her term "butt burp", with her daughters giggling.  I didn't go along with it and got her to back off with the term "face fart" for burps.
 
2014-04-16 09:34:47 AM  

Farce-Side: TNel: You see it here on Fark were people encourage their kids to not listen to students.

WAT?


Teachers :( need a morning pick me up.
 
2014-04-16 09:35:43 AM  
Giving someone pink eye should be considered assault and battery all its own.
 
2014-04-16 10:39:21 AM  

PsychoLaurie: My mom was waiting for my dad to unlock their truck yesterday & ripped a really loud, really long fart.

What she didn't see was that behind her was a car parked with the window rolled down & a driver in the front seat. She totally ripped a righteous fart right in the guy's face. My dad saw the whole thing & could not stop laughing...

/css
//there's never a good reason to touch a student


Yes, let us make sure that students learn that no matter their actions, they are untouchable.  There is no chance that this will lead to kids growing up with no sense of accountability, or lead to situations where kids game the system to punish or fire teachers that they don't like.

There should be restraint and control utilized when physically interacting with a kid, but to say a student should never be touched is stupid.
 
2014-04-16 11:18:54 AM  
Thanks, Fartbama.
 
2014-04-16 12:10:50 PM  

nipner: That's utter BS, and what is wrong in schools today.


Yup, this.  The weight training/football coach punched a kid in the jaw and, besides having the principal ask what happened, nothing was done.  This was in a weight training class.  Another kid had a pretty good amount of weight in a clean and jerk.  As soon as he had the weight over his head, the idiot kid darted up and started making little shoves on the bar.  The kid with the weight was pretty much at the limit of his ability, so even the little bit of outside force was destabilizing him.  His spotter tried to help but probably only made things a little worse.  The guy with the weight was yelling for the idiot to stop.  In short, all three were about to have a lot of weight crashing down on them in an uncontrolled manner.  The coach saw this, jumped over a couple benches on his way over, knocked the idiot out of the way (first contact with him happened to be in the jaw... happy accident?), and helped the other two lower the weight safely.  Well, as safely as possible in that circumstance.

The idiot yelled something about suing, but that never went anywhere.  From what his brother said, the parents were at least as pissed as the coach, and probably told the idiot that he was a farktard and that if the coach didn't remove him from that class they would.  Apparently he also had to do some groveling to the coach.
 
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