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(Daily Mail)   The position you sleep in with your partner reveals the strength of the relationship - even more so if one of you is tied down   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 55
    More: Interesting, Richard Wiseman  
•       •       •

8659 clicks; posted to Geek » on 16 Apr 2014 at 2:52 AM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-15 11:57:10 PM  
Joke's on them. I can't sleep on my side without my arm going numb in the middle of the night and forcing me awake.
 
2014-04-16 12:21:32 AM  
I can't sleep anywhere near my husband, he is just way too hot.  Not hot as in sexy, but hot as in temperature.  Seriously, he always feels like's running a low grade fever.  it's very uncomfortable.
 
2014-04-16 12:25:50 AM  
Neither my wife nor I will pass up the opportunity to dutch oven the other.

We've been married 20 years.
 
2014-04-16 12:27:59 AM  
Partners who sleep less than an inch apart are far more likely to be happy together than those maintaining a gap wider than 30 inches, the researchers found.

Um so you mean separate beds?
 
2014-04-16 01:09:07 AM  
Study must have only surveyed married 20-somethings as it overlooks three major factors:

Heat. My wife is a götverdamned nuclear furnace. Chernobyl four didn't have shiat on what she can output. Cuddle time is over right after she falls asleep, because that's when the heat goes up.

Chronic pain. I can't lay on my back for more than three minutes because of reflux. Also, my back picks random times to hurt, so every night is an adventure in which position I will sleep.

Kids. My daughter is 3' 9" tall. She sneaks in at 2AM and proceeds to sleep sideways on the bed, between us, feet in my kidneys. Therefore, I am always at least 3' 10" away from my wife, relegated to the 5 lateral inches of bed space and 2 square inches of blanket I was allocated before we had kids, anyway.

Your survey sucks.
 
2014-04-16 01:27:03 AM  

SnakeLee: Partners who sleep less than an inch apart are far more likely to be happy together than those maintaining a gap wider than 30 inches, the researchers found.

Um so you mean separate beds?


Or maybe a king size bed with thin people.
 
2014-04-16 03:06:04 AM  

Charlie Freak: Study must have only surveyed married 20-somethings as it overlooks three major factors:

Heat. My wife is a götverdamned nuclear furnace. Chernobyl four didn't have shiat on what she can output. Cuddle time is over right after she falls asleep, because that's when the heat goes up.

Chronic pain. I can't lay on my back for more than three minutes because of reflux. Also, my back picks random times to hurt, so every night is an adventure in which position I will sleep.

Kids. My daughter is 3' 9" tall. She sneaks in at 2AM and proceeds to sleep sideways on the bed, between us, feet in my kidneys. Therefore, I am always at least 3' 10" away from my wife, relegated to the 5 lateral inches of bed space and 2 square inches of blanket I was allocated before we had kids, anyway.

Your survey sucks.


This.  Heat and chronic pain, at least.  If I can, I try to sleep back to back, using my partner as a sort of back pillow, but he overheats easily and I have to sleep on an incline because of reflux.
 
2014-04-16 03:24:07 AM  

madanimalscientist: Charlie Freak: Study must have only surveyed married 20-somethings as it overlooks three major factors:

Heat. My wife is a götverdamned nuclear furnace. Chernobyl four didn't have shiat on what she can output. Cuddle time is over right after she falls asleep, because that's when the heat goes up.

Chronic pain. I can't lay on my back for more than three minutes because of reflux. Also, my back picks random times to hurt, so every night is an adventure in which position I will sleep.

Kids. My daughter is 3' 9" tall. She sneaks in at 2AM and proceeds to sleep sideways on the bed, between us, feet in my kidneys. Therefore, I am always at least 3' 10" away from my wife, relegated to the 5 lateral inches of bed space and 2 square inches of blanket I was allocated before we had kids, anyway.

Your survey sucks.

This.  Heat and chronic pain, at least.  If I can, I try to sleep back to back, using my partner as a sort of back pillow, but he overheats easily and I have to sleep on an incline because of reflux.


And on top of those, there's the occasional getting kicked outta bed for snoring... Fleeing the thrashing child.. One of you being an extremely light sleeper to start with...

I've had nights where no one in the house, including the kid, got up the next morning in the same place they went to sleep. Kid in the parent bedroom.. one parent in the kid's bed.. the other in the guest room.. it's like fruitbasket turnover half the time.
 
2014-04-16 03:45:30 AM  
I have tremendous difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep with anyone else in the bed.

It is effectively impossible if we're in physical contact. I don't understand how people do it.
 
2014-04-16 04:05:17 AM  
The happiest couples: Partners who sleep face to face while touching were found to be 100% satisfied in their relationships

+

Partners who sleep less than an inch apart are far more likely to be happy together than those maintaining a gap wider than 30 inches, the researchers found.

=

Breathing in your significant other's exhales. Nothing happy or satisfying about trying to sleep with dragon breath on your face. I don't care how minty and fresh your breath is, I still don't want it blasting in my face all night.
 
2014-04-16 04:09:51 AM  
You've posted a lot of excuses, people. But the science is unrelentless. If you can't overcome all those issues and sleep less than an inch apart you simply don't love each other enough.
 
2014-04-16 04:10:20 AM  
Take a look at the first photo in the article. How is the male arm and hand with the wedding wing attached to his body?  It's a random severed arm that they're sleeping with! If hacking up bodies and then sleeping with the parts don't bring you together, I'm not sure what will.
 
2014-04-16 04:24:17 AM  

Ambivalence: I can't sleep anywhere near my husband, he is just way too hot.  Not hot as in sexy, but hot as in temperature.  Seriously, he always feels like's running a low grade fever.  it's very uncomfortable.


I had a boyfriend like that. When I lived in an apartment. Without an air conditioner. During a really long hot summer.

We kept sexytime to nights and early mornings only, had to take showers 3 times a day -- and his ass slept at the foot of the bed since it was the only way I could farking sleep without feeling like this

i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-16 04:25:22 AM  

Ambivalence: I can't sleep anywhere near my husband, he is just way too hot.  Not hot as in sexy, but hot as in temperature.  Seriously, he always feels like's running a low grade fever.  it's very uncomfortable.


This is a frequent complaint from my girlfriends.  I'm often referred to as the Human Blast Furnace.  Even on winter nights either we can't share covers or if we do it can only be a light top sheet.  The only time this wasn't the case was when one girlfriend's furnace broke and her only heat source was the fireplace, which she didn't feel comfortable leaving on overnight.  Even then, sometimes she'd wake up and make me stop glomming her because I was making her sweat in a totally unsexy way.

So now I'm dating an *ahem* not-technically-a-woman (pre-op, or more accurately never-going-to-op).  I figured "oh hey, no more of this too-hot-too-cold disagreement thing".  NOPE!  Apparently I'm still too warm.  I guess I run hot even for those of us with Y chromosomes.
 
Skr
2014-04-16 04:27:59 AM  
Loving your partner is one thing but the "face to face while touching" just sounds uncomfortable. Warm recycled air while trying to sleep doesn't seem relaxing. Big spoon little spoon with the occasional neck nibble is where it is at.

Perhaps I'm just the odd duck out though. I have a pretty strong fan going when I sleep cause I really need air circulation to be super comfy. The extra white noise doesn't hurt either.
 
2014-04-16 04:34:17 AM  

EngineerAU: Take a look at the first photo in the article. How is the male arm and hand with the wedding wing attached to his body?  It's a random severed arm that they're sleeping with! If hacking up bodies and then sleeping with the parts don't bring you together, I'm not sure what will.


Friends help you move.  Real friends help you move bodies.  Life partners help you make a comfy bed out of said bodies.

Skr: Loving your partner is one thing but the "face to face while touching" just sounds uncomfortable. Warm recycled air while trying to sleep doesn't seem relaxing. Big spoon little spoon with the occasional neck nibble is where it is at.

Perhaps I'm just the odd duck out though. I have a pretty strong fan going when I sleep cause I really need air circulation to be super comfy. The extra white noise doesn't hurt either.


Yeah, face-to-face was always an obvious "newp" for me, especially since I snore and occasionally mew in my sleep.  The breath though, ye gods I know I'm bad after sleep, and some of my girlfriends have been atrocious.  Vegans man, their breath is just weird.

The fan reminds me that the one girlfriend, the most germaphobic and not-heat-friendly one, hated fans, made me sleep with my fan off.  That's not a smart move when you have a boyfriend who cranks out the BTUs like mad.  I think the fan helps me not sweat like a ham in the oven.
 
2014-04-16 04:37:24 AM  

yukichigai: EngineerAU: Take a look at the first photo in the article. How is the male arm and hand with the wedding wing attached to his body?  It's a random severed arm that they're sleeping with! If hacking up bodies and then sleeping with the parts don't bring you together, I'm not sure what will.

Friends help you move.  Real friends help you move bodies.  Life partners help you make a comfy bed out of said bodies.

Skr: Loving your partner is one thing but the "face to face while touching" just sounds uncomfortable. Warm recycled air while trying to sleep doesn't seem relaxing. Big spoon little spoon with the occasional neck nibble is where it is at.

Perhaps I'm just the odd duck out though. I have a pretty strong fan going when I sleep cause I really need air circulation to be super comfy. The extra white noise doesn't hurt either.

Yeah, face-to-face was always an obvious "newp" for me, especially since I snore and occasionally mew in my sleep.  The breath though, ye gods I know I'm bad after sleep, and some of my girlfriends have been atrocious.  Vegans man, their breath is just weird.

The fan reminds me that the one girlfriend, the most germaphobic and not-heat-friendly one, hated fans, made me sleep with my fan off.  That's not a smart move when you have a boyfriend who cranks out the BTUs like mad.  I think the fan helps me not sweat like a ham in the oven.


Just think though. All of you freaks will be the first ones that machines enslave into the Matrix. You could be the first iteration of Neo. So you'll have that going for you, which is nice.
 
2014-04-16 04:37:52 AM  

yukichigai: Ambivalence: I can't sleep anywhere near my husband, he is just way too hot.  Not hot as in sexy, but hot as in temperature.  Seriously, he always feels like's running a low grade fever.  it's very uncomfortable.

This is a frequent complaint from my girlfriends.  I'm often referred to as the Human Blast Furnace.  Even on winter nights either we can't share covers or if we do it can only be a light top sheet.  The only time this wasn't the case was when one girlfriend's furnace broke and her only heat source was the fireplace, which she didn't feel comfortable leaving on overnight.  Even then, sometimes she'd wake up and make me stop glomming her because I was making her sweat in a totally unsexy way.

So now I'm dating an *ahem* not-technically-a-woman (pre-op, or more accurately never-going-to-op).  I figured "oh hey, no more of this too-hot-too-cold disagreement thing".  NOPE!  Apparently I'm still too warm.  I guess I run hot even for those of us with Y chromosomes.


I am also a furnace. However, it's not really a bad thing. There are furnaces and ice cubes. You just have to match up properly. My wife loves how warm I am, and I love how cool she is.

As far as the study, it's questionable. I move around in my sleep way too much, and I hate inhaling other people's exhale, as has been mentioned by others in this thread. It has nothing to do with dissatisfaction with my wife. I'm quite happy.
 
2014-04-16 04:39:20 AM  
My wife in I in the almost 20 years we've been together pre-marriage/marriage have rarely sleptslept in the same bed. The occasional nap here and there is the limit. We have separate bedrooms. She snores like a goddamned chainsaw, and I have very vivid, often violent dreams causing me to be a big sleeptalker/screamer/fighter. We'll always retire to her bed at night, then I slip out when she falls asleep, because she has trouble falling asleep alone. Not sleeping in the same bed has no negative impact on the strength of our relationship. It does, however, mean we both get a good night's sleep.
 
2014-04-16 04:39:59 AM  

gnosis301: Joke's on them. I can't sleep on my side without my arm going numb in the middle of the night and forcing me awake.


^ Thiiiiis.

It's a comfortable enough position to start with for me, but at some point my arm is going to quite literally attempt to murder me if I sleep on my side. Even on my back isn't easy for me for some reason. I can do it quite easily if it's in a chair or something that's reclined, but a bed? Bah.

Typically I'm like a freaking corpse, face down on the mattress. And to boot it takes care of any possible snoring too typically.
 
2014-04-16 04:44:19 AM  
What the fark is going on in that pic?!

/also hate touching while sleeping
//body heat is too uncomfy/sweaty
///prefer cool side of the pillow/sheets
 
2014-04-16 05:02:22 AM  
Nowhere does it offer another option: sporking.
 
2014-04-16 05:24:31 AM  

madanimalscientist: Charlie Freak: Study must have only surveyed married 20-somethings as it overlooks three major factors:

Heat. My wife is a götverdamned nuclear furnace. Chernobyl four didn't have shiat on what she can output. Cuddle time is over right after she falls asleep, because that's when the heat goes up.

Chronic pain. I can't lay on my back for more than three minutes because of reflux. Also, my back picks random times to hurt, so every night is an adventure in which position I will sleep.

Kids. My daughter is 3' 9" tall. She sneaks in at 2AM and proceeds to sleep sideways on the bed, between us, feet in my kidneys. Therefore, I am always at least 3' 10" away from my wife, relegated to the 5 lateral inches of bed space and 2 square inches of blanket I was allocated before we had kids, anyway.

Your survey sucks.

This.  Heat and chronic pain, at least.  If I can, I try to sleep back to back, using my partner as a sort of back pillow, but he overheats easily and I have to sleep on an incline because of reflux.


These, except put "dog" in where you see "daughter" above. Also, my partner wakes up pretty easily if touched, and I want them to get their sleep. Consequently we sleep back-to-back mostly, and in a king bed, the separation is who knows what. Maybe 15" wildly guessing.
 
2014-04-16 06:30:19 AM  
Based on their research my wife is having an affair with our cat.
 
2014-04-16 06:56:25 AM  

unyon: Neither my wife nor I will pass up the opportunity to dutch oven the other.

We've been married 20 years.


D'awwww

/seriously, I need a woman like that
 
2014-04-16 07:02:13 AM  
What a stupid article. I can't farking sleep with my wife crowding me giving no room to move around. Sleeping comfortably has nothing to do with love. It has to do with...well...SLEEPING.  If I'm asleep I don't give a fark where on the bed she is (as long as she isn't pushing me off the edge)  or what direction she's facing.
 
2014-04-16 07:51:51 AM  
I don't like cuddling while I'm trying to sleep...it's too hot and uncomfortable. We sleep on our sides of the bed, and I sleep on one particular side because I have a medical condition which is aggravated on the other side (and I don't like sleeping on my back).

But sure, blame it on marital problems by being superficial about bedtime routines.
 
2014-04-16 07:54:39 AM  
I toss and turn, thrash, and sit up for no reason while asleep, and generally have to get up to pee at least once.

All in the about 10 inches that my wife doesn't hog on our queen bed.

Study is full of it.
 
2014-04-16 07:56:20 AM  
I would ask these 'researchers' to do a study on what lack of sleep does to a marriage.
 
2014-04-16 08:11:54 AM  
Weatherkiss:

We kept sexytime to nights and early mornings only, had to take showers 3 times a day -- and his ass slept at the foot of the bed since it was the only way I could farking sleep without feeling like this

Ok all I am picturing is Steve Carell in the office sleeping on a little table.  Is this you Jan?

img2-2.timeinc.net
 
2014-04-16 08:39:07 AM  
I'm trying to convince my wife that "reverse cowgirl" would be a comfy place for her.
 
2014-04-16 08:41:24 AM  
Ah, Daily Fail. Always there with yet another random behavioral observation that Determines Your Fate In This Life And The Next. I'm sure next week you'll tell us about One Weird Trick that will make up for any sleep-position-derived relationship deficiencies.
 
2014-04-16 09:00:28 AM  
This is the definitive guide to sleep positions.
 
2014-04-16 10:04:22 AM  

SnakeLee: Partners who sleep less than an inch apart are far more likely to be happy together than those maintaining a gap wider than 30 inches, the researchers found.

Um so you mean separate beds?


I would figure people with thin partners would be more happy, not less.
 
2014-04-16 10:07:38 AM  
Wife and I share a queen. She complains about my snoring and the fact that I increase the temp in the room by about 20 degrees, I think it's her though. When the snoring gets bad I crash on the couch. When I don't, there is usually a pretty good distance between us so we don't get too hot.
Thankfully the kids don't climb into bed with us.
 
2014-04-16 10:39:15 AM  
EngineerAU:

...Breathing in your significant other's exhales. Nothing happy or satisfying about trying to sleep with dragon breath on your face. I don't care how minty and fresh your breath is, I still don't want it blasting in my face all night.

CORRECT.  I cannot, and will not, sleep facing someone else's face.  I can't sleep with someone breathing on me like that.

I basically have to sleep on the edge of the bed, facing outward.  There might be some snuggling or spooning for a while, but once I am determined to really go to sleep, I assume "the position" and I'm out in a matter of a minute or two.
 
2014-04-16 10:43:09 AM  
EngineerAU: ...
Breathing in your significant other's exhales. Nothing happy or satisfying about trying to sleep with dragon breath on your face. I don't care how minty and fresh your breath is, I still don't want it blasting in my face all night.

This is my issue.  I can't stand him breathing my air before I breath it in.  I know it doesn't make sense to you, but it makes perfect sense to me.  Roll over dammit so I don't have to breath your hot used air.
 
2014-04-16 10:47:16 AM  

EngineerAU: Breathing in your significant other's exhales. Nothing happy or satisfying about trying to sleep with dragon breath on your face. I don't care how minty and fresh your breath is, I still don't want it blasting in my face all night.


This, this, this... I feel like I am sleeping with a bag over my head.
 
2014-04-16 10:56:32 AM  
Article goes completely off the rails when they compare sleeping position with personality traits. What a steaming pile of shiat.
 
2014-04-16 10:57:35 AM  

Unoriginal_Username: Wife and I share a queen. She complains about my snoring and the fact that I increase the temp in the room by about 20 degrees, I think it's her though. When the snoring gets bad I crash on the couch. When I don't, there is usually a pretty good distance between us so we don't get too hot.
Thankfully the kids don't climb into bed with us.


Does the queen also cook you breakfast in the morning?
 
2014-04-16 11:06:15 AM  

Charlie Freak: Study must have only surveyed married 20-somethings as it overlooks three major factors:

Heat. My wife is a götverdamned nuclear furnace. Chernobyl four didn't have shiat on what she can output. Cuddle time is over right after she falls asleep, because that's when the heat goes up.

Chronic pain. I can't lay on my back for more than three minutes because of reflux. Also, my back picks random times to hurt, so every night is an adventure in which position I will sleep.

Kids. My daughter is 3' 9" tall. She sneaks in at 2AM and proceeds to sleep sideways on the bed, between us, feet in my kidneys. Therefore, I am always at least 3' 10" away from my wife, relegated to the 5 lateral inches of bed space and 2 square inches of blanket I was allocated before we had kids, anyway.

Your survey sucks.


I don't have kids, but a big ol' yep to the other two, and I've been happily married for 26 years. Their "survey" is B.S.
 
2014-04-16 11:13:27 AM  
Survey obviously never considered that some couples have adjustible mattresses. My wife and I have one and she likes her side very soft, while I prefer one moderately firm. There's a break point right in the center of the mattress that if I get too close to it, I basically roll 'down' onto my wife's side where she is. Since she has the sleeping temperature of a solar furnace in operation, and I have to sleep under light covers or I overheat, that's a set up for no sleep at all. So, after the hugging/sexytime portion of bedtime is over, we adjust the mattress settings to our preference and go to sleep, keeping as far from each other as we can to avoid the heating issue.

/use a full size mattress
//wanted a queen size
///often I end up with about 8" of mattress to sleep on
 
2014-04-16 11:16:12 AM  

Ambivalence: I can't sleep anywhere near my husband, he is just way too hot.  Not hot as in sexy, but hot as in temperature.  Seriously, he always feels like's running a low grade fever.  it's very uncomfortable.


Make sure you show him this remark.  Men love to hear stuff like this.  :)
 
2014-04-16 11:16:37 AM  

Charlie Freak: Study must have only surveyed married 20-somethings as it overlooks three major factors:

Heat. My wife is a götverdamned nuclear furnace. Chernobyl four didn't have shiat on what she can output. Cuddle time is over right after she falls asleep, because that's when the heat goes up.

Chronic pain. I can't lay on my back for more than three minutes because of reflux. Also, my back picks random times to hurt, so every night is an adventure in which position I will sleep.

Kids. My daughter is 3' 9" tall. She sneaks in at 2AM and proceeds to sleep sideways on the bed, between us, feet in my kidneys. Therefore, I am always at least 3' 10" away from my wife, relegated to the 5 lateral inches of bed space and 2 square inches of blanket I was allocated before we had kids, anyway.

Your survey sucks.


The other way around at my house. I'm the furnace, and she's cold at anything under seventy degrees, under three thick blankets. She doesn't even bother going to bed until I do, because she can't sleep until I get in there. In most cases, she'll not only wait on me to go to bed, but then wait at least ten minutes so my human torch levels of body heat can warm up the bed for her.
 
2014-04-16 11:17:20 AM  
We normally fall asleep in the cuddled-face-to-face position and transition into various combos of all the others during the night. Sometimes we wake on the opposite ends of the bed and sometimes cuddled. It has nothing to do with the strength of our marriage. Factor in joint pain and bladder capacity (we ain't getting any younger), along with the temperature of the room and location of the dogs -- it's a miracle we even sleep.
 
2014-04-16 11:20:44 AM  
I can't deal with western beds.  Too soft.  Wrecks my back and I never sleep right.  Haven't owned my own since about 2006.  The Bafflerette gets the bed, I sleep on a mat on the floor.  We're both quite happy with the arrangement and no one gets elbowed in the middle of the night either.

/stupid article
/next up: tie color indicates credit score
 
2014-04-16 11:21:14 AM  

picturescrazy: I am also a furnace. However, it's not really a bad thing. There are furnaces and ice cubes. You just have to match up properly. My wife loves how warm I am, and I love how cool she is.


I'm the heat source, my wife is the heat sink.  We match up well.

Her: Want to fell how cold my hands are?
Me: No, why would - SWEET JESUS GET THOSE OFF ME!

29 years and counting....
 
2014-04-16 11:45:53 AM  

unyon: Neither my wife nor I will pass up the opportunity to dutch oven the other.

We've been married 20 years.


Done like a casserole in three.
 
2014-04-16 11:56:31 AM  

RickN99: picturescrazy: I am also a furnace. However, it's not really a bad thing. There are furnaces and ice cubes. You just have to match up properly. My wife loves how warm I am, and I love how cool she is.

I'm the heat source, my wife is the heat sink.  We match up well.

Her: Want to fell how cold my hands are?
Me: No, why would - SWEET JESUS GET THOSE OFF ME!

29 years and counting....


I am an odd contradiction.  I am definitely the heat source, she requires at least one blanket at all times.  However, my hands are nearly ALWAYS freezing.  Apparently my arm bones act as some sort of heat sink between body and my hands.
 
2014-04-16 02:32:29 PM  

pseudowho: I have tremendous difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep with anyone else in the bed.
It is effectively impossible if we're in physical contact. I don't understand how people do it.


I don't know about closeness, but I can't stand to go to sleep with someone touching me. No cuddling!
/and just forget about that breathing in my face too
 
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