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(Press-Enterprise (So. Cal))   I have a feeling that Johnathan Schmidt will have a tough time getting a fair trial. His guilt is all over his face (with picture)   (blog.pe.com ) divider line
    More: Fail, Riverside County Sheriff's Department  
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20494 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Apr 2014 at 5:26 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



81 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-15 08:34:35 PM  
In for a penny in for a pound, as they say  )regarding tattoos all over his face
 
2014-04-15 08:49:39 PM  
He looks like he was trying to turn his life around.
 
2014-04-15 08:52:07 PM  
Lake Elsinore? Is that anywhere near the Elsinore Brewery? Too obscure for you hosers?
 
2014-04-15 08:54:55 PM  
♫ John Jerkoff Farkingmoron Schmidt... ♫
 
2014-04-15 10:32:29 PM  

Sniffers Row: Lake Elsinore? Is that anywhere near the Elsinore Brewery? Too obscure for you hosers?


Nothing is too obscure for us hosers.  Least of all Elsinore Brewery ;)
 
2014-04-15 11:20:30 PM  

Elsinore: Sniffers Row: Lake Elsinore? Is that anywhere near the Elsinore Brewery? Too obscure for you hosers?

Nothing is too obscure for us hosers.  Least of all Elsinore Brewery ;)


Well played
 
2014-04-15 11:53:14 PM  
On the other hand he'll fit right in in prison.
 
2014-04-15 11:53:20 PM  

Sniffers Row: Lake Elsinore? Is that anywhere near the Elsinore Brewery? Too obscure for you hosers?


Take off, eh.
 
2014-04-16 12:17:43 AM  
I would love to see a photo timeline showing his progression from no facial tattoos to all of the facial tattoos.
 
2014-04-16 12:39:15 AM  
Seems like he has lived a lifetime filled with excellent decisions and long range plans.
 
2014-04-16 01:23:12 AM  
I saw a guy with tattoos like that a few weeks ago at the pharmacy. I was thinking to myself: Jesus, Mary and Jerome, what the fark are they prescribing you, good sir? Don't make eye contact, he'll pull out a dull knife and peel me like a banana.
 
2014-04-16 01:53:47 AM  
One day you wake up and think "yeah, man. I need to have something permanently written onto my face". There's no going back after that.
 
2014-04-16 02:53:54 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: ♫ John Jerkoff Farkingmoron Schmidt... ♫


*golf clap*
 
2014-04-16 03:19:52 AM  
He has a face only a mother could love
www.funnyloves.com
Mother Schmidt...
 
2014-04-16 05:32:44 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: ♫ John Jerkoff Farkingmoron Schmidt... ♫


Wanted this. Got this. Thread over.
 
2014-04-16 05:36:32 AM  
Looks like a nice guy you can trust your kids with
 
2014-04-16 05:37:17 AM  

Witness99: I would've gone with a different font for the neck tat. Up close it looks like FYI and far away it looks like FUL.

And if you're going to tattoo your entire face, at least have someone pay you to advertise something for them. That's top dollar real estate right there.


leaseyourbody.com
 
2014-04-16 05:38:02 AM  
I read that as Johann Schmidt and was expecting a slightly different tattoo.
 
2014-04-16 05:39:15 AM  

Witness99: I would've gone with a different font for the neck tat. Up close it looks like FYI and far away it looks like FUL.

And if you're going to tattoo your entire face, at least have someone pay you to advertise something for them. That's top dollar real estate right there.


Since he has Futhark tats, I chose to believe that one was indicating he is a baby horse (in ON).
I wonder if the 5150 helps or hurts with any plea that ends you up in a mental hospital?
 
2014-04-16 05:40:43 AM  

Witness99: I would've gone with a different font for the neck tat. Up close it looks like FYI and far away it looks like FUL.

And if you're going to tattoo your entire face, at least have someone pay you to advertise something for them. That's top dollar real estate right there.


FYI, Fark YOUR life

Also, 5150 is code for crazy mofo. The kind they can lock you up for
 
2014-04-16 05:43:05 AM  
He seems to have poor impulse control.
 
2014-04-16 05:45:15 AM  
Dude got a face that just reeks "state penitentiary"
 
2014-04-16 05:47:16 AM  
Imagined without his tattoos, he seems indifferently ordinary, at best.
 
2014-04-16 05:48:16 AM  
If that "Evelyn" person ever leaves him, he can just grow a mustache.
 
2014-04-16 05:50:54 AM  
Yeah, I'd say this guy is trouble. Better story Here
 
2014-04-16 05:51:16 AM  

PreMortem: Witness99: I would've gone with a different font for the neck tat. Up close it looks like FYI and far away it looks like FUL.

And if you're going to tattoo your entire face, at least have someone pay you to advertise something for them. That's top dollar real estate right there.

FYI, Fark YOUR life

Also, 5150 is code for crazy mofo. The kind they can lock you up for


Life doesn't start with an "I", though...
 
2014-04-16 05:52:01 AM  
tattoo laser removal would remove his head.  I'm okay with this.
 
2014-04-16 05:54:16 AM  

Mouren: PreMortem: Witness99: I would've gone with a different font for the neck tat. Up close it looks like FYI and far away it looks like FUL.

And if you're going to tattoo your entire face, at least have someone pay you to advertise something for them. That's top dollar real estate right there.

FYI, Fark YOUR life

Also, 5150 is code for crazy mofo. The kind they can lock you up for

Life doesn't start with an "I", though...


You are absolutely right. Auto correct strikes again.
 
2014-04-16 06:00:32 AM  
Id say this guys best hope for serving society would be being ground into pig slop.
 
2014-04-16 06:05:07 AM  

Archie Goodwin: I read that as Johann Schmidt and was expecting a slightly different tatto


Yeah, that was the first thing I thought of.

31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-04-16 06:08:51 AM  
I'm guessing this person struggles to make sensible life choices.
 
2014-04-16 06:09:31 AM  
Another Obammy voter.

Hurry up and die, son. Satan's Waitin'!
 
2014-04-16 06:19:38 AM  
He's a purty somabiatch.
 
2014-04-16 06:25:35 AM  

phrawgh: Another Obammy voter.

Hurry up and die, son. Satan's Waitin'!


Its a good bet he doesn't make it to the polls. Also, GOP - not racist, but #1 with racists.

/weak troll is weak
 
2014-04-16 06:32:56 AM  
You guys should see his brother Jack.
 
2014-04-16 06:33:10 AM  
farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2014-04-16 06:35:42 AM  
It seems to me that facial tattoos leading to a conviction may not be 'fair' but lets be honest it's probably 'accurate'.
 
2014-04-16 06:50:22 AM  
Did they eventually figure out what triggered Schmidt's rampage?
 
2014-04-16 06:53:29 AM  
Looks like a Bad Mutha Futhark!
 
2014-04-16 06:54:53 AM  
LOOK AT ME!   DO IT!  I AM SO DANGEROUS AND EDGY!
 
2014-04-16 06:59:21 AM  
While the comments here are comedy gold, I was floored by the poll from the sidebar:

Should people whose sole income is a disability or Social Security check tithe part of it to their church?

Yes. People should support their church no matter their financial circumstances

No. With such limited income, the money should go only for living expenses.

I don't know.


What. The. Fark?
 
2014-04-16 07:10:27 AM  

Witness99: I would've gone with a different font for the neck tat. Up close it looks like FYI and far away it looks like FUL.

And if you're going to tattoo your entire face, at least have someone pay you to advertise something for them. That's top dollar real estate right there.


I'm guessing advertising a bail bondsman might be a sweet deal for this guy.
 
2014-04-16 07:12:25 AM  
Another victim of the ZOG. When will people wake up?
 
2014-04-16 07:26:19 AM  
i211.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-16 07:55:55 AM  

Arcturus72: While the comments here are comedy gold, I was floored by the poll from the sidebar:

Should people whose sole income is a disability or Social Security check tithe part of it to their church?

Yes. People should support their church no matter their financial circumstances

No. With such limited income, the money should go only for living expenses.

I don't know.

What. The. Fark?


Any Christian who answers No needs to learn his Bible.

Matthew 6:28-30

28 And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29 yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!
 
2014-04-16 08:14:37 AM  
Wow - what would you say if your daughter brought this one home for dinner, I mean after you shot him of course
 
2014-04-16 08:19:49 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Matthew 6:28-30

28 And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29 yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!


Lilies and grass have no clothes... oh I see, Matthew wanted everyone to be nudists.

I guess that helps cut down on expenses, but it's not practical in places without a warm climate. Besides, has he even seen how ugly most people are without their clothes on?
 
2014-04-16 08:21:56 AM  

JohnCarter: Wow - what would you say if your daughter brought this one home for dinner, I mean after you shot him of course


"We're gonna need a bigger shovel." ?
 
2014-04-16 08:25:10 AM  

JohnCarter: Wow - what would you say if your daughter brought this one home for dinner, I mean after you shot him of course


Crap. You'd probably have to shoot your daughter too, for having such poor taste, and then yourself, for having raised her so badly.
 
2014-04-16 08:35:58 AM  

PreMortem: Witness99: I would've gone with a different font for the neck tat. Up close it looks like FYI and far away it looks like FUL.

And if you're going to tattoo your entire face, at least have someone pay you to advertise something for them. That's top dollar real estate right there.

FYI, Fark YOUR life

Also, 5150 is code for crazy mofo. The kind they can lock you up for


And a swastika on the neck, and SS on the side of his head, which probably mean the Norse tats are some kind of Odinist thing...

Yup, another sterling representative of the White Race.
 
2014-04-16 08:44:02 AM  

Son of Thunder: PreMortem: Witness99: I would've gone with a different font for the neck tat. Up close it looks like FYI and far away it looks like FUL.

And if you're going to tattoo your entire face, at least have someone pay you to advertise something for them. That's top dollar real estate right there.

FYI, Fark YOUR life

Also, 5150 is code for crazy mofo. The kind they can lock you up for

And a swastika on the neck, and SS on the side of his head, which probably mean the Norse tats are some kind of Odinist thing...

Yup, another sterling representative of the White Race.


I was going to say, wonder if those runes are some attempt at marking himself as a White Supremacist, didn't even notice the swastika and the "SS" symbol.
 
2014-04-16 08:55:44 AM  
Bet his friends did that to him when he was passed out.
 
2014-04-16 08:55:56 AM  
You know who else had a knife and a Ford Explorer?

/okay, it was a Bronco....
 
2014-04-16 08:57:24 AM  

PreMortem: Yeah, I'd say this guy is trouble. Better story Here


He hadn't met Evelyn yet in the photo with that story.
 
2014-04-16 09:02:18 AM  

phrawgh: Another Obammy voter.

Hurry up and die, son. Satan's Waitin'!


This is either the absolute worst trolling or you quite possibly are the stoopidist person on Fark.

yup... skinheads lined up to vote for the black man... that's what happened...
 
2014-04-16 09:03:11 AM  
I have a feeling that Johnathan Schmidt will have a tough time getting a fair trial. His guilt is all over his face

Because he's a Schmidt-head?
 
2014-04-16 09:04:28 AM  

PreMortem: Witness99: I would've gone with a different font for the neck tat. Up close it looks like FYI and far away it looks like FUL.

And if you're going to tattoo your entire face, at least have someone pay you to advertise something for them. That's top dollar real estate right there.

FYI, Fark YOUR life

Also, 5150 is code for crazy mofo. The kind they can lock you up for


www.vhnd.com
 
2014-04-16 09:08:26 AM  

JohnCarter: Wow - what would you say if your daughter brought this one home for dinner, I mean after you shot him of course

"Where's the nearest hospital.  We're going to get you spayed.  You are NOT bringing more idiots into this world."

 
2014-04-16 09:23:40 AM  
Curtis Allgier says, "Meh - amateur."
i162.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-16 09:32:30 AM  
Believe it or not, he was even uglier as a baby.
 
2014-04-16 09:34:57 AM  
You guys are terrible.

This guy is a victim. Bullies and society made him this way.

I'm certain that whenever he went out, the people would always shout.

/John JACOB JINGLE-HEIMER Schmidt
// His name is my name too
 
2014-04-16 09:46:37 AM  
Whew, I'm related to a John Schmidt, and was concerned he got in trouble.  It is possible with that relative.

JonnyBGoode: [farm9.staticflickr.com image 400x330]


I know Schmidts who wear that on a t-shirt.
 
2014-04-16 09:57:24 AM  
Ohhh, sure, Jonathan SCHMIDT. Riiight. Of the Lake Elsinore Schmidts. Yeah, OK. I got ya. Good family as I recall. Jon Sr. was an orthodontist, I think, and a deacon at St. Pius. Jon Jr. helped raise money for the indoor swimming pool west of town. He set up that carnival fundraiser at Schmidt Park back in 2004. Hell, I think the park is named after his grandpa - a war hero. Right, right, now I remember. Junior did what now?
 
2014-04-16 10:01:05 AM  

JohnCarter: Wow - what would you say if your daughter brought this one home for dinner, I mean after you shot him of course


He was coming right at me!
 
2014-04-16 10:12:19 AM  

Sniffers Row: Lake Elsinore? Is that anywhere near the Elsinore Brewery? Too obscure for you hosers?


See, we got stabbed by this guy in Lake Elsinore, so if we don't get free beer, we're gonna press charges, eh!
 
2014-04-16 10:24:27 AM  
www.provedplusprobable.com

Fark never fails..
 
2014-04-16 10:37:38 AM  
I would suggest the Kurt Cobain method of tattoo removal.
 
2014-04-16 10:44:31 AM  
When did we stop shipping people like these to Australia?
 
2014-04-16 10:48:47 AM  

JohnCarter: Wow - what would you say if your daughter brought this one home for dinner, I mean after you shot him of course


I'll say exactly what my instructor told me when I took my handgun carry class. "Officer, I was in fear for my life, and I wish to speak with a lawyer"
 
2014-04-16 10:49:41 AM  
So I guess he's gonna be late to his job interview? Damn, he woulda got that CEO position, too.
 
2014-04-16 10:50:59 AM  
Came for the Great White North references, taking off satisfied
 
2014-04-16 11:28:28 AM  

JohnCarter: Wow - what would you say if your daughter brought this one home for dinner, I mean after you shot him of course


"moar ammo plz".
 
2014-04-16 11:54:31 AM  

robohobo: Archie Goodwin: I read that as Johann Schmidt and was expecting a slightly different tattoo

Yeah, that was the first thing I thought of.


In that case, he can easily remove those tattoos.

i959.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-16 12:43:33 PM  

Sniffers Row: JohnCarter: Wow - what would you say if your daughter brought this one home for dinner, I mean after you shot him of course
I'll say exactly what my instructor told me when I took my handgun carry class. "Officer, I was in fear for my life, and I wish to speak with a lawyer"


Get the daughter out of the house so she doesn't blurt anything out and you probably won't be charged. The cop would believe you.
 
2014-04-16 01:05:13 PM  

mike_d85: You guys should see his brother Jack.


Really?  After HOURS no one takes the "You don't know Jack Schmidt" bait?

/Fark, I am disappoint.
 
2014-04-16 02:11:39 PM  
I'm guessing that his attorney will challenge the validity of the line-up.

I doubt that they'd find 5 volunteers willing to be shaved and spend hours with a henna artist.
 
2014-04-16 02:19:37 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: ♫ John Jerkoff Farkingmoron Schmidt... ♫


His name is your name, too?
 
2014-04-16 02:49:21 PM  
Only jobs open to this guy are tattooist, carny worker, call center rep or elected official in Portland OR.
 
2014-04-16 02:57:15 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: ♫ John Jerkoff Farkingmoron Schmidt... ♫


That's my name, too!
 
2014-04-16 05:38:48 PM  

Rex Kramer - Danger Seeker: Only jobs open to this guy are tattooist, carny worker, call center rep or elected official in Portland OR.


Lawl! Nicely played.
 
2014-04-16 07:45:04 PM  

violentsalvation: I saw a guy with tattoos like that a few weeks ago at the pharmacy. I was thinking to myself: Jesus, Mary and Jerome, what the fark are they prescribing you, good sir? Don't make eye contact, he'll pull out a dull knife and peel me like a banana.


He would attack it like a money and push in your brown spot and open you from the bottom?  Or clumsily break your stem and break your fruit?

Okay, neither of those sound like good options.  I still bet you open bananas the wrong way.
 
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