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(Deadspin)   Chris Kluwe answers Deadspin's reader mail. It goes pretty much how you would expect   (theconcourse.deadspin.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Chris Kluwe, Deadspin, Deadspin Funbag, Nick Denton, Jadeveon Clowney, mile high, yahoo answers, Mark Emmert  
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3293 clicks; posted to Sports » on 15 Apr 2014 at 6:40 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-15 06:47:25 PM  
This ex-punter sounds very bitter and in need of a hug.
 
2014-04-15 07:09:47 PM  
Well, he does have a point: Jalapenos are much worse on the way out than on the way in.
 
2014-04-15 07:19:26 PM  
I chuckled a couple times. I think Kluwe's pretty funny.

The bitterness of some of the d-bags in the Deadspin comments is also funny.
 
2014-04-15 07:29:16 PM  
Kluwe seems like a person of at least moderate intelligence. So why does he write like a 12 year old who just learned some dirty words?
 
2014-04-15 07:43:44 PM  
Shanky McWideleft is my penis' nickname.
 
2014-04-15 08:05:06 PM  

ElwoodCuse: Kluwe seems like a person of at least moderate intelligence. So why does he write like a 12 year old who just learned some dirty words?


Because that's Deadspin's target demographic?
 
2014-04-15 08:31:27 PM  
I laughed. I wonder what his Fark handle is?
 
2014-04-15 08:35:26 PM  
"Mommy needs her medicine!" Nice, kid.
 
2014-04-15 08:37:56 PM  

ElwoodCuse: Kluwe seems like a person of at least moderate intelligence. So why does he write like a 12 year old who just learned some dirty words?


Because juvenile humor is still funny as an adult? This doesn't make you laugh?

pbs.twimg.com
 
2014-04-15 08:42:34 PM  
The kicker issue, to me, seems to be one of not just talent and coaching, but of perception and opportunity as well.  In the NFL, if your kicker sucks, you can just dump him and go find the 33rd best guy on the Free Agent wire to bring in.  In college, if your kicker sucks, you're stuck with him until next year when you can hopefully recruit another one who many not even be as good as the last one that you had.  Additionally, since most teams only give one kicker a scholarship, they're going to

It's also far more obvious when a kicker blows it than any other player, so nobody but the coaches notices when a cornerback blows coverage three times , but everybody sees when a kicker goes 0/3.
 
2014-04-15 08:58:58 PM  

Kiribub: I laughed. I wonder what his Fark handle is?


I think I've read he's occasionally been here, so it's not out of the question he'd have a fark handle.
 
2014-04-15 09:33:57 PM  
Well ... he certainly thinks he is clever.
 
2014-04-15 09:35:57 PM  

neuroflare: ElwoodCuse: Kluwe seems like a person of at least moderate intelligence. So why does he write like a 12 year old who just learned some dirty words?

Because juvenile humor is still funny as an adult? This doesn't make you laugh?


Goddammit. I knew I shouldn't have read this thread while drinking water.
 
2014-04-15 09:49:02 PM  

ElwoodCuse: Kluwe seems like a person of at least moderate intelligence. So why does he write like a 12 year old who just learned some dirty words?


HawgWild: Well ... he certainly thinks he is clever.


Pretty much this and this. I mean, at times he is clever, and I did get a couple of chuckles from this column, but more often he comes off as a guy who's trying too hard.
 
2014-04-15 10:44:05 PM  
(I was lucky that early on in high school, I found a couple coaches who did know a thing or two so I could teach myself later).

Which is a lie.  He spent 90% of his high school career on crutches being made fun of as the nerdy guy who tries to punt and tears his ACL every time he touches the field.  I'm convinced he had bionic knees put in which give him some actual punting ability, because there's no way he practiced enough to actually become professional caliber with as often as he was injured in high school(and college).
 
2014-04-15 10:57:49 PM  
I thought he was trying to write more in Magary's style (which I actually like), since he was subbing for him.

Sorry I like things that you don't like
 
2014-04-15 11:02:09 PM  
If Kluwe is in need of a job, I wouldn't mind seeing him as a writer for Colbert when he takes over the Late Show.  Heck, I was impressed with his wit when he was interviewed by Colbert, leaving him speechless on more than one occasion in the course of 5 minutes.

Yes, I laughed more than once while RTFA
 
2014-04-15 11:58:15 PM  
I loved him calling Goodell 'The Ginger Hammer'
 
2014-04-16 01:26:02 AM  

ElwoodCuse: Kluwe seems like a person of at least moderate intelligence. So why does he write like a 12 year old who just learned some dirty words?


For the same reason the rest of us do.
 
2014-04-16 01:32:04 AM  
Is he still begging for people to pay attention to him?  Can't he get on Dancing With the Stars like the rest of the washed up athletes who can't accept the fact that they are done?
 
2014-04-16 02:03:38 AM  
Craw Fu: Is he still begging for people to pay attention to him?  Can't he get on Dancing With the Stars like the rest of the washed up athletes who can't accept the fact that they are done?

"I was over Chris Kluwe before you were over Chris Kluwe."
 
2014-04-16 03:23:31 AM  
I want Chris Kluwe to be the host of my new NFL channel show: "This Week in Punting".
 
2014-04-16 07:35:37 AM  

ElwoodCuse: Kluwe seems like a person of at least moderate intelligence. So why does he write like a 12 year old who just learned some dirty words?


Never read the Deadspin's Funbag posts, I take it?
 
2014-04-16 07:45:50 AM  
Trying a bit hard, but there were chuckles.
 
2014-04-16 08:13:53 AM  
Sparkleponies......   I'd watch a show with him hosting
 
2014-04-16 08:40:27 AM  
Shanky McWideleft totally reminded me of Slushy McFlatbottom.
 
2014-04-16 09:12:38 AM  

RickyWilliams'sBong: ElwoodCuse: Kluwe seems like a person of at least moderate intelligence. So why does he write like a 12 year old who just learned some dirty words?

Never read the Deadspin's Funbag posts, I take it?

<---   I thought that embolded part would be a dead giveaway
 
2014-04-16 09:13:14 AM  

Katolu: RickyWilliams'sBong: ElwoodCuse: Kluwe seems like a person of at least moderate intelligence. So why does he write like a 12 year old who just learned some dirty words?

Never read the Deadspin's Funbag posts, I take it?<---   I thought that embolded part would be a dead giveaway


Where the hell did that arrow come from?
 
2014-04-16 09:26:19 AM  

harleyquinnical: I was impressed with his wit when he was interviewed by Colbert


Excellent point.  My first reaction was that of several other Farkers here:  "Not bad, but the dude is not as smart as he thinks he is," but you moderated that opinion.  He was pretty great on Colbert, and that's hard -- and there were some truly sharp turns of phrase even in this throw-away piece.

I wonder if he just doesn't -- or didn't have time / desire to, in this case -- respect the difficult craft of writing well?  I'd be curious about the details of the assignment and deadline.  Further, the editor here (if there even was one) isn't any good, given the number of mistakes that could be fixed without changing the tone.

With a good editor and more effort, I bet he could crank out some great stuff that would impress all of us.  He clearly knows the game, has great connections, is willing to speak his mind about topics others won't, and is naturally funny.  He just needs someone to say, "Put another 4-8 hours into tightening this up, meat!"  Repeatedly.  And I would bet he needs a deeper literary background:  If he wants to be snarky yet insightful about sports -- and get a better feeling for how hard writing is, when done well -- he should start by reading everything HST ever wrote.  That said, I hope he keeps practicing, as I know I am not the only one who likes what he has to say!
 
2014-04-16 10:22:09 AM  

ElwoodCuse: Kluwe seems like a person of at least moderate intelligence. So why does he write like a 12 year old who just learned some dirty words?


You literally would not be here if you weren't basically the same way.

/thought it was funny
 
2014-04-16 10:24:23 AM  

Stan Lee's Ghost: Sparkleponies......   I'd watch a show with him hosting


Before I'd ever heard of Kluwe, I thought it would be interesting to make a movie or television series about the daily life of a relatively intelligent/literate NFL kicker. If this happens, it was my idea and somebody stole it.
 
2014-04-16 10:25:28 AM  

someonelse: Stan Lee's Ghost: Sparkleponies......   I'd watch a show with him hosting

Before I'd ever heard of Kluwe, I thought it would be interesting to make a movie or television series about the daily life of a relatively intelligent/literate NFL kicker. If this happens, it was my idea and somebody stole it.


This is how I feel about Dexter.
 
2014-04-16 10:33:01 AM  
"The other day I was at a party with my wife's work friends, and I saw a guy there holding his beer with a napkin. So the condensation doesn't get his hands wet? No way this is cool for a guy to do, right?"

Maybe it's because who wants to drop their beer due to condensation?  Or what girl wants your cold/wet fingers touching them?
 
2014-04-16 10:50:57 AM  
The reason for this is because people are farking lazy, and secretly believe that "BOY GOLLY IF I STEPPED OUT ON THAT FIELD I COULD SHOW THOSE NAMBY-ASS KICKERS JUST HOW EASY IT IS TO MAKE A GULDARNED FIELD GOAL," like some sort of chorus-line action hero. Then they eat another log of Velveeta and yell at the TV when their team loses by two in the Fuddrucker's Futtbucker Bowl Brought to You by Mark Emmert's Lack of Basic Human Conscience.

No, really. What's his Fark handle?

// I actually have a guess
 
2014-04-16 12:30:28 PM  
I thought it was funny, but then again, I have a rather large juvenile humor section in my brain.  Ya just gotta learn to let go and laugh sometimes without all the extra introspection.
 
2014-04-16 12:35:41 PM  
There are better moments and worse moments, but yeah, Kluwe's a pretty good writer.

If juvenile humor isn't your thing, that's cool, but that doesn't mean he's not very good at it.
 
2014-04-16 12:49:29 PM  

SilentStrider: Kiribub: I laughed. I wonder what his Fark handle is?

I think I've read he's occasionally been here, so it's not out of the question he'd have a fark handle.


Well when we find out his tag, the bugger's getting some TF from me at least.
 
2014-04-16 01:22:10 PM  

SFSailor: harleyquinnical: I was impressed with his wit when he was interviewed by Colbert

Excellent point.  My first reaction was that of several other Farkers here:  "Not bad, but the dude is not as smart as he thinks he is," but you moderated that opinion.  He was pretty great on Colbert, and that's hard -- and there were some truly sharp turns of phrase even in this throw-away piece.

I wonder if he just doesn't -- or didn't have time / desire to, in this case -- respect the difficult craft of writing well?  I'd be curious about the details of the assignment and deadline.  Further, the editor here (if there even was one) isn't any good, given the number of mistakes that could be fixed without changing the tone.

With a good editor and more effort, I bet he could crank out some great stuff that would impress all of us.  He clearly knows the game, has great connections, is willing to speak his mind about topics others won't, and is naturally funny.  He just needs someone to say, "Put another 4-8 hours into tightening this up, meat!"  Repeatedly.  And I would bet he needs a deeper literary background:  If he wants to be snarky yet insightful about sports -- and get a better feeling for how hard writing is, when done well -- he should start by reading everything HST ever wrote.  That said, I hope he keeps practicing, as I know I am not the only one who likes what he has to say!



Maybe you should read the Deadspin Funbag more often to get a feel for the tone of his assignment. He nailed it.
 
2014-04-16 01:59:23 PM  

ElwoodCuse: Kluwe seems like a person of at least moderate intelligence. So why does he write like a 12 year old who just learned some dirty words?


The fact that he spent much of his formative years around football players probably hasn't helped things.
 
2014-04-16 03:08:06 PM  
We should sponsor him for TotalFark.   He'd liven up the place a bit.
 
2014-04-16 07:53:55 PM  
If you get the chance, check out Kluwe's two appearances on the Nerdist podcast.
He would easily fit right in here.
 
2014-04-16 10:49:49 PM  
I think he was drunk.
 
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