If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   Dear Prudence, my boyfriend gave me one of his recently extracted wisdom teeth for our eighth anniversary, do you think he's a keeper?   (slate.com) divider line 103
    More: Dumbass, wisdom teeth, hypochondriacs, Emily Yoffe, boyfriends  
•       •       •

5968 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Apr 2014 at 8:19 PM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



103 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-04-14 04:48:44 PM
I bet she lets him molar.
 
2014-04-14 04:50:10 PM
Well, as long as she's sure its his tooth...
 
2014-04-14 05:44:56 PM

jaylectricity: I bet she lets him molar.


...if she doesn't he has threatened to incisor.
 
2014-04-14 05:58:18 PM
She should just turn it in to the tooth fairy. What's the going rate for wisdom teeth these days?
 
2014-04-14 06:10:05 PM
No one knew she had her boyfriend's tooth until it came out in the conversation.
 
2014-04-14 06:39:07 PM
If it's been 8 years and his title is still "boyfriend" instead of "husband", he's probably a keeper in the technical sense that she'll never have the balls to leave him.
 
2014-04-14 06:52:58 PM
It didn't work out for van Gogh back in the day and it won't work out now.

I'd wait until he came across with something more filling
 
2014-04-14 07:30:42 PM
Yeah.
No way he could have known it would have impacted her that way.
 
2014-04-14 07:34:47 PM

serial_crusher: If it's been 8 years and his title is still "boyfriend" instead of "husband", he's probably a keeper in the technical sense that she'll never have the balls to leave him.


Came here to say this.
 
2014-04-14 07:49:34 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: serial_crusher: If it's been 8 years and his title is still "boyfriend" instead of "husband", he's probably a keeper in the technical sense that she'll never have the balls to leave him.

Came here to say this.


That and he's n extremely cheap mutherf*cker.
DNRTFA, most prolly fake.
 
2014-04-14 07:51:44 PM
I bet he got an ass-chewing for that.
 
2014-04-14 07:54:36 PM

CruiserTwelve: I bet he got an ass-chewing for that.


After 8 years, I doubt she's putting out like that anymore.
 
2014-04-14 07:58:38 PM

CruiserTwelve: I bet he got an ass-chewing for that.


That would be quite the crowning glory.
 
2014-04-14 07:59:37 PM

gopher321: Well, as long as she's sure its his tooth...


And as long as she's sure it's his tooth.  Does she know for sure it's not from the dead hooker in the basement?
 
2014-04-14 08:00:56 PM
Is it even legal for the dentist to give you your extracted wisdom teeth?
 
2014-04-14 08:24:04 PM
How do I teach an otherwise wonderful man how to give good gifts, without specifying exactly what I want?

WHY CAN'T HE READ MY MIND?!?
 
2014-04-14 08:24:40 PM

vernonFL: Is it even legal for the dentist to give you your extracted wisdom teeth?


What the hell could you possibly do with extracted teeth that would lead dentists to believe you shouldn't have them?
 
2014-04-14 08:24:49 PM

vernonFL: Is it even legal for the dentist to give you your extracted wisdom teeth?


Yes. They can pulverize them and 3-D print caps in the year 3000.

in the year three thousaaaaaaaand.
 
2014-04-14 08:25:23 PM

fusillade762: How do I teach an otherwise wonderful man how to give good gifts, without specifying exactly what I want?

WHY CAN'T HE READ MY MIND?!?


I'm going to give her my wisdom tooth. biatches love wisdom tooths.
 
2014-04-14 08:26:59 PM

fusillade762: How do I teach an otherwise wonderful man how to give good gifts, without specifying exactly what I want?

WHY CAN'T HE READ MY MIND?!?


He's just cheap...probably Chewish.
 
2014-04-14 08:28:03 PM
Did he pull it himself?
 
2014-04-14 08:29:25 PM
He wants to put his root in her canal
 
2014-04-14 08:29:39 PM
Okay, so is the joke here that this is the  least bizarre fake-ass clickbait ever to run under the "Dear Prudence" banner on Slate?
 
2014-04-14 08:30:14 PM
This thread is getting a little long in the tooth.
 
2014-04-14 08:30:56 PM

JoieD'Zen: AverageAmericanGuy: serial_crusher: If it's been 8 years and his title is still "boyfriend" instead of "husband", he's probably a keeper in the technical sense that she'll never have the balls to leave him.

Came here to say this.

That and he's n extremely cheap mutherf*cker.
DNRTFA, most prolly fake.


Oh, I dunno. What doesa wisdom tooth extraction cost these days?
 
2014-04-14 08:32:40 PM
She'll be getting drilled and filled
 
2014-04-14 08:33:09 PM
i34.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-14 08:33:41 PM
A keeper?  It depends on how many he has left.

images.sodahead.com
 
2014-04-14 08:36:35 PM

TheOther: fusillade762: How do I teach an otherwise wonderful man how to give good gifts, without specifying exactly what I want?

WHY CAN'T HE READ MY MIND?!?

He's just cheap...probably Chewish.


s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-04-14 08:38:35 PM
This guy is definitely a keeper.

img.fark.net
 
2014-04-14 08:41:03 PM
"Dear, I'm bicuspid".
 
2014-04-14 08:41:27 PM
I would have given her some gum instead.
 
2014-04-14 08:45:57 PM
Did she preferred an expensive gift like a vacuum?
 
2014-04-14 08:51:02 PM
Dumbass; you're supposed to put your wisdom tooth on a necklace and then gift it. And, that should be, like, a 3rd or 4th year anniversary gift, not 8th.

Hell, by the 8th anniversary, your girlfriend should already be wearing your dingleberry bracelet per standard protocol.
 
2014-04-14 08:51:48 PM
OK... Lots of thoughts here...

1. To some people of more esoteric backgrounds, giving someone an actual part of yourself is a show of trust, because someone you don't trust could use that piece of you to cast a spell on you. Even if you aren't of the superstitious kind, you're giving someone the means to frame you for any number of crimes with a heaping helping of DNA, so there's still some trust here.

2. "I gave him hints that I wanted something special."  = "I wanted gold, diamonds, or a cruise."  -- It also means she's kind of a selfish biatch who is more focused on the material crap she gets instead of the quality of the relationship. (This is one of those moments where I thank goodness Mrs. Nightbird is not the materialistic kind of woman who needs to measure my love for her by means of a collection of diamonds, gold, trips, and expensive show-off-to-the-girlfriends junk. We have love, and we have nice things, and we don't need to impress our friends with the gifts we give each other. Her last gift? A very nice SLR camera that she uses frequently. It costs less than a diamond bracelet, but does infinitely more.)

3. After 8 years, there'd better be a good reason he's a boyfriend and not a husband.

4. On top of it all, she's the kind of vapid chick who then writes to an advice columnist to "prove her point" and shame her boyfriend. Great. She got her validation. If he's smart, he'll dump her now and look for someone who doesn't "hint that she wants something special" and is just happy enough with the relationship that ANYTHING he does is special.
 
2014-04-14 08:51:54 PM
Dear Prudence,
Shut the fark up and get a real job, you vapid whore.
 
2014-04-14 08:54:06 PM
She should give him one of her teeth then gouge out her eye and give that to him to. It's all about upping the ante in relationships. Otherwise it gets boring.
 
2014-04-14 08:55:41 PM
We've missed an important factor.

You have your wisdom teeth between 19 and 24, right? So we're looking at highschool sweethearts. Hell, maybe middle school sweethearts.
 
2014-04-14 08:57:00 PM
I had all FOUR wisdom teeth extracted on the same day, and withOUT being put under.... One of them, the roots was literally bent at a 90 degree angle... He really pulled that sucker out, bracing his knee against my chest as he pulled with all his force....

When i asked to keep the teeth, he declined saying that they are 'medical waste', and that it would be illegal to give them to me.... He's probably wearing it on a necklace somewhere.
 
2014-04-14 09:01:55 PM

T.rex: I had all FOUR wisdom teeth extracted on the same day, and withOUT being put under.... One of them, the roots was literally bent at a 90 degree angle... He really pulled that sucker out, bracing his knee against my chest as he pulled with all his force....

When i asked to keep the teeth, he declined saying that they are 'medical waste', and that it would be illegal to give them to me.... He's probably wearing it on a necklace somewhere.


You mean that a Dear Prudence letter might be faked? Noooooo...

/The questions are more interesting than the responses
 
2014-04-14 09:01:56 PM

Nix Nightbird: OK... Lots of thoughts here...

1. To some people of more esoteric backgrounds, giving someone an actual part of yourself is a show of trust, because someone you don't trust could use that piece of you to cast a spell on you. Even if you aren't of the superstitious kind, you're giving someone the means to frame you for any number of crimes with a heaping helping of DNA, so there's still some trust here.

2. "I gave him hints that I wanted something special."  = "I wanted gold, diamonds, or a cruise."  -- It also means she's kind of a selfish biatch who is more focused on the material crap she gets instead of the quality of the relationship. (This is one of those moments where I thank goodness Mrs. Nightbird is not the materialistic kind of woman who needs to measure my love for her by means of a collection of diamonds, gold, trips, and expensive show-off-to-the-girlfriends junk. We have love, and we have nice things, and we don't need to impress our friends with the gifts we give each other. ...


You do know that when The Most Perfect Woman In The World says, 'Oh, you don't have to get me anything special!' that she is lying, right?
 
2014-04-14 09:09:37 PM

T.rex: I had all FOUR wisdom teeth extracted on the same day, and withOUT being put under.... One of them, the roots was literally bent at a 90 degree angle... He really pulled that sucker out, bracing his knee against my chest as he pulled with all his force....

When i asked to keep the teeth, he declined saying that they are 'medical waste', and that it would be illegal to give them to me.... He's probably wearing it on a necklace somewhere.


Probably a penis piercing. Tooth necklaces went out in the 70s
 
2014-04-14 09:10:26 PM

HindiDiscoMonster: [i34.photobucket.com image 400x400]


Damnit you beat me to it.  I was going to say at least it wasn't an ear.
 
2014-04-14 09:13:23 PM
I have three sets of wisdom teeth from various people in my life, as well as a bracelet made out of my friend's beautiful long, blonde hair. She gave it to me, I swear.
 
2014-04-14 09:14:01 PM
I have an extracted wisdom tooth of mine that I keep because I don't know what else to do with it. And since I don't know what to do with it I put it somewhere out of the way until my wife happens to find it and gets mad at me becuase it's gross. Then I put it in some other out of the way place and a year or so later she yells at me again after finding it. This has happened about 5 times so far.
 
2014-04-14 09:17:25 PM
When I had my wisdom teeth extracted I kept three of them. The fourth one broke when they were extracting it. I took one of the three and made this necklace out of it:

www.johncathcart.com
 
2014-04-14 09:18:57 PM
I can report that it is not, or was not, illegal to distribute extracted teeth in my state.  I was given my wisdom teeth.  Strangely enough, like the boyfriend, I actually regifted them.  Even more strangely, the gift seemed to be reasonably well-received.  Then again, the recipient was a dental student from whom I had no expectation of sex.
 
2014-04-14 09:19:59 PM
I got to keep my wisdom teeth.

And yeah, if it's been 8 years and she's still wondering if he's a keeper, they're both screwed.

/going to wedding this weekend for couple dating 10 years before he finally proposed after an ultimatum
//neither are the type to ever initiate a breakup
///feel bad for them, but party will be fun!
 
2014-04-14 09:22:11 PM
I guess i am out of the loop, i was unaware of the custom of gifting on anniversaries of becoming boyfriend/girlfriend
 
2014-04-14 09:28:18 PM

Nix Nightbird: OK... Lots of thoughts here...

1. To some people of more esoteric backgrounds, giving someone an actual part of yourself is a show of trust, because someone you don't trust could use that piece of you to cast a spell on you. Even if you aren't of the superstitious kind, you're giving someone the means to frame you for any number of crimes with a heaping helping of DNA, so there's still some trust here.

2. "I gave him hints that I wanted something special."  = "I wanted gold, diamonds, or a cruise."  -- It also means she's kind of a selfish biatch who is more focused on the material crap she gets instead of the quality of the relationship. (This is one of those moments where I thank goodness Mrs. Nightbird is not the materialistic kind of woman who needs to measure my love for her by means of a collection of diamonds, gold, trips, and expensive show-off-to-the-girlfriends junk. We have love, and we have nice things, and we don't need to impress our friends with the gifts we give each other. Her last gift? A very nice SLR camera that she uses frequently. It costs less than a diamond bracelet, but does infinitely more.)

3. After 8 years, there'd better be a good reason he's a boyfriend and not a husband.

4. On top of it all, she's the kind of vapid chick who then writes to an advice columnist to "prove her point" and shame her boyfriend. Great. She got her validation. If he's smart, he'll dump her now and look for someone who doesn't "hint that she wants something special" and is just happy enough with the relationship that ANYTHING he does is special.


Yup. She should use to tooth to make a Voodoo doll and torture him until he sends her on her cruise.
 
Displayed 50 of 103 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report