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(Huffington Post)   32 excuses worse than "the shoes will stretch", "the check's in the mail", and "Honey, I promise I'll warn you this time"   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 46
    More: Unlikely, Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Chicago River, Diana Ross, loop  
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10596 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Apr 2014 at 4:11 PM (14 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-14 02:57:01 PM
They forgot that the lack of snow means you can take a leisurely uneventful drive down Cicero.
 
2014-04-14 04:01:16 PM
Of course, baseball season.

i.huffpost.com

You're shiatting me, right?  Cub fans love when the season is over.
 
2014-04-14 04:13:18 PM
I won't lie. I love Chicago. Beautiful city. But if I do ever move, it ain't gonna be north.
 
2014-04-14 04:14:35 PM

blatz514: Of course, baseball season.

[i.huffpost.com image 850x566]

You're shiatting me, right?  Cub fans love when the season is over.


To be fair, the Cubs season is usually over by mid-April.
 
2014-04-14 04:14:38 PM
Are they somehow implying that other cities don't have these things? Baseball teams? Concerts? Beaches? Bars on top of tall buildings? What?
 
2014-04-14 04:15:15 PM
You're still in Chicago...

//Love the museums there.
 
2014-04-14 04:16:09 PM
Number 15 should be "seriously the beaches?"
 
2014-04-14 04:17:12 PM
33. No Chicago gang activity in the summer.
 
2014-04-14 04:18:03 PM

busy chillin': I won't lie. I love Chicago. Beautiful city. But if I do ever move, it ain't gonna be north.


Right there with you I love Chicago in summer, but in winter I'd rather be dead. Got a friend that lives there and she is nuts about the cold. Weirdo
 
2014-04-14 04:18:27 PM

PillsHere: Number 15 should be "seriously the beaches?"


Aren't they destined to be covered in oil and petcoke this year?
 
2014-04-14 04:22:34 PM
High homicide rate and highly restrictive laws for legal gun ownership.
I'll pass
 
2014-04-14 04:22:34 PM

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: blatz514: Of course, baseball season.

[i.huffpost.com image 850x566]

You're shiatting me, right?  Cub fans love when the season is over.

To be fair, the Cubs season is usually over by mid-April.


This is true.  I'm so happy they're been crappy for the last few years.  Their farking dumbass fans don't stink up our stadium anymore.
 
2014-04-14 04:25:28 PM
Ah, Springtime in Chi-town.
The wafting aroma of thawing dog turds that have accumulated over the season.
The aroma of grease in the air from fast food franchises.
The sound of gunfire and sirens.
The inevitable thump thump of a boom box blasting some loud hip hop from a passing car.
The nonavailability of a decent Pizza.
The Cops that make the gangs look like the BSA with their corruption.
The gangs that make the Cops look inept with their failure to curtail the violence and drug related activities.
There is nothing quite like having a home town allegiance to a concrete shiathole that was built on graft, greed, and mob blood.
There are other towns that are similar, but Chicago was the model of how to build a town with paid off cops and politicians.
Even NYC took notes at how quickly the city was rebuilt after the fire.
Yeah, a cow. An Irish Lady's cow at that.
That's the ticket.
 
2014-04-14 04:25:41 PM
Doesn't Chicago have hundred degree and hundred percent humidity in the summer? And no one has decent AC?

Seems more a place to visit in May / June. If you need to live there you will. Although time and time again I see cases of people just failing to move out of inertia.
 
2014-04-14 04:26:12 PM
Why is meaningless regional click bait making it's way into Fark?
 
2014-04-14 04:27:48 PM

Odd Bird: High homicide rate and highly restrictive laws for legal gun ownership.
I'll pass


Tanks.
Tanks a lot.
 
2014-04-14 04:28:33 PM

TheNewJesus: Why is meaningless regional click bait making it's way into Fark?


TheNewJesus: Why is meaningless regional click bait making it's way into Fark?


And you answer your own question.
 
2014-04-14 04:32:20 PM
LA has pretty much everything on that list and they can be enjoyed year around. I don't need to suffer through 6 months of miserable cold to enjoy 6 weeks of outdoor activities. Think I'll stay right where I am.
 
2014-04-14 04:35:02 PM
No. I've been there, I liked it. Their bread / cheese / tomato casserole is delicious and filling, and Ditka's makes a fine steak.

I learned not to tell anyone I was from NYC metro or worked in NYC, because half the time there would be some kind of pissing match conversation. Or outright rudeness: had a cabbie unleash 30 seconds of vitriol about how much he hated NYC after I told him where I was from.

But no. I hated this winter here in NYC, and by all accounts Chicago fared much worse. None of that stuff is unique to Chicago compared with other cities I could live in. The weather is, unfortunately.
 
2014-04-14 04:36:34 PM
Shoes do stretch dumbmitter.
 
2014-04-14 04:37:24 PM
Aaah, Birmingham 1963!
i.huffpost.com
 
2014-04-14 04:38:02 PM
"Don't worry about the sleeves; they'll ride up with wear."
 
2014-04-14 04:40:45 PM

skinink: 33. No Chicago gang activity in the summer.


34. The tourists
 
2014-04-14 04:41:12 PM
I think this article got separated from the headline about an ad disguised as a news article.
 
2014-04-14 04:45:16 PM
www.rachelleb.com

Even better: crossing Lake Michigan on a sailboat at night.  The lights of the cities over the horizon and the aurora borealis overhead.
 
2014-04-14 04:49:31 PM

Omnivorous: [www.rachelleb.com image 600x384]

Even better: crossing Lake Michigan on a sailboat at night.  The lights of the cities over the horizon and the aurora borealis overhead.


And the mutant potato sharks below.
 
2014-04-14 04:54:40 PM
Honey, I promise I'll warn you about what
 
2014-04-14 05:03:15 PM
If yocant make it to Chicago for their pizza,here's how you make it at home;

1) Purchase Ragu spaghetti or lesser quality sauce and Wonder Bread or lesser quality bread from you local grocer

2) Mash bread into ball

3) drown bread in sauce

3) add a piece of cheese or something if you ave any around.

4) Repeat steps 1 thru 4 until u can get to Georges Pizza in Harlem or Momma Rosas on 7th ave & 26th in Manhatten and some real slice
 
2014-04-14 05:04:28 PM

ZzeusS: Honey, I promise I'll warn you about what


i116.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-14 05:06:49 PM

Karvey: If yocant make it to Chicago for their pizza,here's how you make it at home;

1) Purchase Ragu spaghetti or lesser quality sauce and Wonder Bread or lesser quality bread from you local grocer

2) Mash bread into ball

3) drown bread in sauce

3) add a piece of cheese or something if you ave any around.

4) Repeat steps 1 thru 4 until u can get to Georges Pizza in Harlem or Momma Rosas on 7th ave & 26th in Manhatten and some real slice


You said step 3 twice. you must really like step 3.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2014-04-14 05:08:38 PM

Omnivorous: [www.rachelleb.com image 600x384]

Even better: crossing Lake Michigan on a sailboat at night.  The lights of the cities over the horizon and the aurora borealis overhead.


"Sailing, sailing over the bounding main, off to stinky-pinky in faire ol' Windsor again"
 
2014-04-14 05:08:42 PM
Article : Booze and water


there, I saved you five minutes of scrolling.
 
2014-04-14 05:14:14 PM

menschenfresser: "Don't worry about the sleeves; they'll ride up with wear."


Heh, I was thinking the same thing.
 
2014-04-14 05:16:04 PM

Karvey: If yocant make it to Chicago for their pizza,here's how you make it at home;

1) Purchase Ragu spaghetti or lesser quality sauce and Wonder Bread or lesser quality bread from you local grocer

2) Mash bread into ball

3) drown bread in sauce

3) add a piece of cheese or something if you ave any around.

4) Repeat steps 1 thru 4 until u can get to Georges Pizza in Harlem or Momma Rosas on 7th ave & 26th in Manhatten and some real slice


If you can't get to New York for their pizza, here's how to get the genuine New York pizza experience:

1) Order any thin crust pizza from anywhere.

2) Eat it in the bathroom.
 
2014-04-14 05:28:43 PM
Former Michigander here, lived in the Chicago suburbs for 9 years, and it's not even fair to call the narrow strip of imported sand a beach to begin with.

Overall, I just realized I'm tired of living with so many people. All the "events" are great, but with that comes the crowds and traffic as well. I could never make it in NY or LA, I already know this.
 
2014-04-14 06:02:49 PM
The check's in your mouth and I won't come in the mail.
 
2014-04-14 06:40:52 PM
35. It isnt new jersey
 
2014-04-14 07:16:10 PM
Best part about the Chicago?

Saturday in the park, I think it was the 4th of July.
People dancing, people laughing, a man selling ice cream , singing Italian songs.
 
2014-04-14 07:25:18 PM

chookbillion: menschenfresser: "Don't worry about the sleeves; they'll ride up with wear."

Heh, I was thinking the same thing.


+2
 
2014-04-14 08:19:20 PM
Wow, literally none of those reasons made me want to live in Chicago, and a few actually deterred me from it.
 
2014-04-14 09:16:56 PM
I miss the Russian mafia. And my landlord/roommate who hid secret cameras in the bathroom and my bedroom. Then stole my money and threatened to have me beat up. Good times
 
2014-04-14 09:50:26 PM

wildcardjack: Doesn't Chicago have hundred degree and hundred percent humidity in the summer? And no one has decent AC?

Seems more a place to visit in May / June. If you need to live there you will. Although time and time again I see cases of people just failing to move out of inertia.


No place on Earth has ever had 100 degree (F) and 100% relative humidity.
 
2014-04-14 09:58:17 PM
Because the gangbangers stop killing each other as much when its cold?
 
2014-04-15 12:45:47 AM
We must have lunch real soon.


Your luggage is checked through.


We've got inflation licked.


I'll get right back to you.


It's just a standard form.


Tomorrow without fail.


Pleased to meet you.


Thanks a lot.


Your check is in the mail.

Sorry I couldn't find the song by the original artist but here's a cover version of Blizzard of Lies written by Dave Frishberg
 
2014-04-15 12:52:31 AM
Sorry, I don't bother to look at Huff post ever.
Is C2E2 on the list?

It is one legit reason to visit for a weekend.
 
2014-04-15 02:03:44 PM
The only good thing in Chicago is Harry Dresden.  And he's a fictional character.

/or is he?
//I can't think of a good pun.
 
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