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(Newser)   Man writes his own obituary, and it's shorter than this headline   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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18406 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Apr 2014 at 3:02 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-04-14 03:21:18 PM  
2 votes:
"I could name that tune in 2 notes..."

"Go ahead and name that tune.."

"I Died".

Seriously, TFA puts in a picture, but they can't come up with a picture of the farking 3-word obituary? Jesus, this "journalism" thing is going downhill faster and faster every day. Hell, they didn't even publish the LONGER one that papers came up with.
2014-04-14 03:22:00 PM  
1 vote:
I don't really care about my obit, so long as i'm buried properly: in an ivory casket carved from the bones of my enemies.
2014-04-14 03:13:57 PM  
1 vote:

d23: When he went into bars to pick up chicks, his pickup line was "I am horny."

And sometimes it actually worked.

A former law partner of mine, after his divorce, did that whole middle-aged whoring thing, chasing tail every night he could.  He told me that when it got late, bar was going to close soon, he'd just go up to the women in the bar (in order of hotness, most hot to least) and say, "Nice shoes.  Wanna fark?"
  "How did that work out for you?" I asked.
  "About one out of ten threw her drink in my face, most said no, but I always ended up getting a yes."
  "Sure.  If they didn't outright say no, I'd follow it up with 'C'mon who are we fooling?  I know why you're at bar at this time of night; you know why.  Let's just get to it.'"
2014-04-14 03:13:29 PM  
1 vote:
Woman, to Calvin Coolidge: "My husband bet me I couldn't get three words out of you."
Coolidge: "You lose."
2014-04-14 03:12:13 PM  
1 vote:
If only the next obituary beneath it said.... "Me too!"
2014-04-14 02:49:36 PM  
1 vote:
2014-04-14 01:34:53 PM  
1 vote:
Even shorter:
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