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(RealClear)   New strain of performance-enhancing weed discovered   (realclear.com) divider line 22
    More: Obvious, USA Swimming, Hank Haney, freestyle, Mark Spitz, retirement, Olympics in Rio, United States Anti-Doping Agency  
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10289 clicks; posted to Sports » on 14 Apr 2014 at 4:27 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



22 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-14 04:29:23 PM
FTFA: "I think he's just going to test the waters a little bit and see how it goes," Bowman said by phone from Baltimore.

Har dee har
 
2014-04-14 04:39:16 PM
Phelps won't be coming back for the money,

Bullshiat - if he loved swimming so much he wouldn't have a retirement to come out of.
 
2014-04-14 04:43:54 PM

gfid: Phelps won't be coming back for the money,

Bullshiat - if he loved swimming so much he wouldn't have a retirement to come out of.


He's trying to do better than Subway for product endorsements.
 
2014-04-14 04:53:31 PM
He "retires" because he doesn't feel like wasting his time competing in the various pre-olympic tournaments for little to no money.
 
2014-04-14 04:55:08 PM
Thor Heyerdahl essentially wove together a bunch of weeds and look how far he got ..
 
2014-04-14 05:23:40 PM

Lost Thought 00: He "retires" because he doesn't feel like wasting his time competing in the various pre-olympic tournaments for little to no money.


The Brent Favre of swimming?
 
2014-04-14 05:49:39 PM

Clemkadidlefark: Thor Heyerdahl essentially wove together a bunch of weeds and look how far he got ..


I'd like to see Phelps try to swim across the Atlantic Ocean with only weed to fuel him.

Okay, that's unrealistic to expect him to do.

Heyerdahl used a different kind of weed.

And I never tire of telling this story.  I did a book report on the Ra expeditions for Spanish class, but I farked up and throughout the entire book report I said he crossed the ocean in a reed "bota", which is Spanish for "boot".  I should have said "bote" (which is Spanish for boat).  My Spanish teacher had a good chuckle over that after a visit to the ER to have her palm removed from her face.
 
2014-04-14 05:51:26 PM

Lost Thought 00: He "retires" because he doesn't feel like wasting his time competing in the various pre-olympic tournaments for little to no money.


If I had been on his training regimen as long as he had at his age, and then won as big as he did, you can be damn sure I'd be taking a couple years off at least.
 
2014-04-14 05:58:18 PM
Get a job Mike.
 
2014-04-14 06:04:53 PM

degenerate-afro: Lost Thought 00: He "retires" because he doesn't feel like wasting his time competing in the various pre-olympic tournaments for little to no money.

The Brent Favre of swimming?


That's Brett Favre...And in this case, Phelps is more like the Micheal Jordan..Terrible commercials, fake "Retirement" and all.
 
2014-04-14 06:12:02 PM
Michael Phelps should be good for at least a couple more Olympic golds.  Let's wait and see......
 
2014-04-14 06:27:32 PM
Longbottom leaf?
 
2014-04-14 06:46:25 PM
He wasn't eating 12,000 cals a day (allegedly) from swimming. Serious munchies was what it was.
 
2014-04-14 07:16:26 PM

ArkAngel: Longbottom leaf?

That stuff is performance enhancing if you're farking Aragorn or Gimli or Gandalf.  If you're a hobbit, it makes you want to eat mushrooms and drink a proper ale at the Prancing Pony.  Now kingsfoil, that will cure nearly everything from minor cuts to full-on wounds caused by poisoned Orc arrows.  But it's effects are best if Aragorn uses it, as he is the King of Middle Earth.

rudemix: He wasn't eating 12,000 cals a day (allegedly) from swimming. Serious munchies was what it was.

He was smoking performance enhancing weed that had the properties of anabolic steroids, EPO, thermogenic fat cell burners, and the munchies.  That way he could protein and carb load without packing on fat.
 
2014-04-14 07:19:07 PM
0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com
 
2014-04-14 07:22:56 PM

ArkAngel: Longbottom leaf?


It's called Gandolf now.

//Seriously, there is a strain called Gandolf.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-04-14 07:24:48 PM

some_beer_drinker: [0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com image 480x360]


I looked at that and saw this

www.marusin.com
 
2014-04-14 07:51:09 PM
"performance enhancing weed"

Does it allow him to come in last in race of eight million other swimmers, who are all dead?

i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-04-14 09:37:19 PM

Keyser_Soze_Death: Lost Thought 00: He "retires" because he doesn't feel like wasting his time competing in the various pre-olympic tournaments for little to no money.

If I had been on his training regimen as long as he had at his age, and then won as big as he did, you can be damn sure I'd be taking a couple years off at least.


Yup.

I took time off after college (worked full time and sometimes 20 credit hours). He deserves the breaks.

But of course, training aside, his real secret is monkey length arms. :)
 
2014-04-14 10:34:36 PM
Well, I wish him good luck, he was top man for a long time.  Don't blame him for taking a break at all.
 
2014-04-15 06:35:59 AM
What a wastoid. Imagine how good he could have been if he could have helped his abominable obsession with drugs. Imagine how many gold medals. If not for the weed, I'd think he'd be in the 50-100 gold medal category. He'd be getting golds in javelin and synchronized skydiving and shiat.
 
2014-04-15 12:23:51 PM

SevenizGud: What a wastoid. Imagine how good he could have been if he could have helped his abominable obsession with drugs. Imagine how many gold medals. If not for the weed, I'd think he'd be in the 50-100 gold medal category. He'd be getting golds in javelin and synchronized skydiving and shiat.


oh i like where you went with this
 
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