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(Business News Daily)   Ten personality traits employers value most. Summed up in one word--obsequiousness   (businessnewsdaily.com) divider line 56
    More: Obvious, personality traits, soft skills, CareerBuilder, employees  
•       •       •

3556 clicks; posted to Business » on 14 Apr 2014 at 2:13 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



56 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-14 02:19:00 AM  
When I close my eyes all I see are khakis and collared shirts. I don't sleep much.
 
2014-04-14 02:19:25 AM  
Also helps to be purple and clairvoyant.
 
2014-04-14 02:20:17 AM  
Purple-ness?
Clairvoyant-ness?
 
2014-04-14 02:44:48 AM  
10 word used to describe drones?
 
2014-04-14 03:30:03 AM  
immoral
sturdy
smart
deadly
easy
quiet
business
deltaairlines
ratheon
cheapasamothafarker
 
2014-04-14 03:43:02 AM  
Cheap
Young
Stupid
Good looking
Showered
Shaved legs
Fresh panties
Mini-skirt
Flexible
Not obese
 
2014-04-14 04:58:37 AM  
I noticed that when employers want "self-motivated" and "Organized, and able to manage multiple priorities", they actually mean, "we will not actually manage you, so please keep yourself occupied".
 
2014-04-14 05:29:12 AM  

Raider_dad: Also helps to be purple and clairvoyant.


Done in two

/leaving satsified
 
2014-04-14 05:41:32 AM  

Eltardo: When I close my eyes all I see are khakis and collared shirts. I don't sleep much.


I work from home and most days my coworkers don't even bother to shower before they drag themselves into work in their socks and underwear, scratching their balls right in front of me during a conference call.  It's disgusting.
 
2014-04-14 05:42:41 AM  

padraig: I noticed that when employers want "self-motivated" and "Organized, and able to manage multiple priorities", they actually mean, "we will not actually manage you, so please keep yourself occupied".


That may be true in many situations.  However, having been on the hiring side of the table at a company that used, abused, and discarded employees with the worst of them I can say that there are occasions when those traits are demanded not out of laziness, but out of necessity.  Consider the case where the company mercilessly fires people to get them off the books and drives their best employees to quit just to get away from the bullshiat practices.  The work of all those people who are gone gets dumped on the poor saps who remain.  When the blue moon shines and new hires are actually considered, it's not a matter of want for the prospective hires to be able to function independently, it's a genuine need.  Those who survived the cuts and exoduses simply do not have the wherewithal to hold a new person's hand while struggling with every other person's job that came before them.  That new person's sole reason for being employed is to be able to function independently with minimal oversight so that the folks who were left at said evil employer can finally take a breath and maybe only work 14 hours a day instead of 17.

Yes, this is coming from someone who was mid-upper management.  My day came eventually when I was told to get out, don't let the door hit you.  Just like so many others.
 
2014-04-14 05:53:09 AM  
I'm so glad 'm not on the "please give me a job" side of the desk anymore. Employers are farking assholes.
 
2014-04-14 06:03:02 AM  

Munchkin City Coroner: padraig: I noticed that when employers want "self-motivated" and "Organized, and able to manage multiple priorities", they actually mean, "we will not actually manage you, so please keep yourself occupied".

That may be true in many situations.  However, having been on the hiring side of the table at a company that used, abused, and discarded employees with the worst of them I can say that there are occasions when those traits are demanded not out of laziness, but out of necessity.  Consider the case where the company mercilessly fires people to get them off the books and drives their best employees to quit just to get away from the bullshiat practices.  The work of all those people who are gone gets dumped on the poor saps who remain.  When the blue moon shines and new hires are actually considered, it's not a matter of want for the prospective hires to be able to function independently, it's a genuine need.  Those who survived the cuts and exoduses simply do not have the wherewithal to hold a new person's hand while struggling with every other person's job that came before them.  That new person's sole reason for being employed is to be able to function independently with minimal oversight so that the folks who were left at said evil employer can finally take a breath and maybe only work 14 hours a day instead of 17.

Yes, this is coming from someone who was mid-upper management.  My day came eventually when I was told to get out, don't let the door hit you.  Just like so many others.


CSB: When I was laid off in 2008, along with many of my co-workers, the company made my supervisor give us the bad news. Later, he joined the rest of us in the pub and said they laid him off after he made his rounds with the axe...

( also saw him later at our "retraining" info class at the state unemployment offices...)

/ being middle-management can suck just as hard as being at the bottom, I guess.
 
2014-04-14 07:07:20 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Cheap
Young
Stupid
Good looking
Showered
Shaved legs
Fresh panties
Mini-skirt
Flexible
Not obese


How did you get the list of how I pick my women?

Think the list in the article could have just said "slave".
 
2014-04-14 07:11:41 AM  

OhioUGrad: AverageAmericanGuy: Cheap
Young
Stupid
Good looking
Showered
Shaved legs
Fresh panties
Mini-skirt
Flexible
Not obese

How did you get the list of how I pick my women?

Think the list in the article could have just said "slave".


women?..

I've made a terrible mistake.
 
2014-04-14 07:33:52 AM  
Beta dogs and dog-ettes need apply to the service economy.
Then they can service me.
 
2014-04-14 07:45:31 AM  

HotIgneous Intruder: Beta dogs and dog-ettes need apply to the service economy.
Then they can service me.


Oh, yeah, you're an "alpha." Yeah. Right.
 
2014-04-14 07:52:24 AM  

OhioUGrad: AverageAmericanGuy: Cheap
Young
Stupid
Good looking
Showered
Shaved legs
Fresh panties
Mini-skirt
Flexible
Not obese

How did you get the list of how I pick my women?

Think the list in the article could have just said "slave".


That's your list? Really?

Mine just says "Pulse"
 
2014-04-14 08:15:57 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-04-14 08:45:33 AM  
Obsequiousness does cover it, honestly.

In me experience, what bosses REALLY want is this: Nothing but good news. You want your boss to like you and give you raises and promotions? Never give them bad news. Ever. Even if you have to lie. Once you shatter the illusions of your bosses, they won't want anything to do with you. If their is bad news they actually need to hear, figure out a way to make sure it gets to them without you being involved.

Personally, I can't bring myself to blow sunshine up asses all day, so I haven't advanced through the ranks.
 
2014-04-14 08:47:10 AM  
Why would anyone trust a kiss-ass? Aren't the obsequious generally disingenuous as well?
 
2014-04-14 09:11:48 AM  
Is that a word? Obsequity? Obsequy?
 
2014-04-14 09:12:59 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: women?..

I've made a terrible mistake.


Not if you're into that sort of thing.
 
2014-04-14 09:16:10 AM  

padraig: I noticed that when employers want "self-motivated" and "Organized, and able to manage multiple priorities", they actually mean, "we will not actually manage you, so please keep yourself occupied".


No, that means they're consolidating 3-4 full-time positions into one.  "Self-motivated" is just a euphemism for "workaholic", and they put it on the requirements so when you burn out they can remind you that you claimed you loved to work long hours.
 
2014-04-14 09:38:29 AM  

mutterfark: Why would anyone trust a kiss-ass? Aren't the obsequious generally disingenuous as well?


You would be surprised how many CEOs surround themselves with sycophants.
When you look back at businesses, large ones, that crashed and burned, it should be obvious that it happens a lot.
the kind of JackHole that needs to validate himself with yes men is a sorry man.
The kind that can hear, "Hey. Pull your head out of your ass, before we tank" is worth working for.
Not many of them out there.
 
2014-04-14 09:39:31 AM  
Employers today want what farmers in the south wanted in the 1800s: a workforce that have to "pay" only enough to survive while they take all the profit of their labors.
 
2014-04-14 09:49:23 AM  

realmolo: In me experience, what bosses REALLY want is this: Nothing but good news. You want your boss to like you and give you raises and promotions? Never give them bad news. Ever. Even if you have to lie.


I had a boss once, back when I worked in a huge company, who actually said to me once, "Look, I know how it works. You have to lie to me. Just...lie to me, and then make it come true. OK?"

I did not like working for a boss who counted on untruth as standard operating procedure. I have learned that I do better in a reality-based environment.

Now I work at a small company; six guys and a receptionist. We are all responsible for everything, always. It makes absolutely no sense to lie here (except to clients, occasionally).
 
2014-04-14 09:59:07 AM  

padraig: I noticed that when employers want "self-motivated" and "Organized, and able to manage multiple priorities", they actually mean, "we will not actually manage you, so please keep yourself occupied".


I've found that to mean "We don't want our poor management of you to be reflected in your work output."

Also, "hiring managers" are idiots. If your job is made up of hiring people with actual skills to work under other people it basically means you failed your way through business school.
 
2014-04-14 10:01:14 AM  

Mr_Fabulous: realmolo: In me experience, what bosses REALLY want is this: Nothing but good news. You want your boss to like you and give you raises and promotions? Never give them bad news. Ever. Even if you have to lie.

I had a boss once, back when I worked in a huge company, who actually said to me once, "Look, I know how it works. You have to lie to me. Just...lie to me, and then make it come true. OK?"

I did not like working for a boss who counted on untruth as standard operating procedure. I have learned that I do better in a reality-based environment.

Now I work at a small company; six guys and a receptionist. We are all responsible for everything, always. It makes absolutely no sense to lie here (except to clients, occasionally).


Not lying to each other is what I describe as "start up culture."
 
2014-04-14 11:03:08 AM  

padraig: I noticed that when employers want "self-motivated" and "Organized, and able to manage multiple priorities", they actually mean, "we will not actually manage you, so please keep yourself occupied".



As a manager, I disagree. Nothing more irritating than a woman who has been here for four years asking me what to do with something that she's handled dozens and dozens of times before. You know the procedures and policies. Make it work. I shouldn't have to hold your hand all day.
 
2014-04-14 11:19:15 AM  
you can't spell "obsequious" without I-O-U
 
2014-04-14 11:22:20 AM  

padraig: I noticed that when employers want "self-motivated" and "Organized, and able to manage multiple priorities", they actually mean, "we will not actually manage you, so please keep yourself occupied".


This.

And so, we read Fark.
 
2014-04-14 11:47:21 AM  
"We pretend to work; they pretend to pay us".
 
2014-04-14 11:48:45 AM  

Raider_dad: Also helps to be purple and clairvoyant.


Hooray for a Steve Martin reference

man i am old
 
2014-04-14 12:01:19 PM  

SphericalTime: Mr_Fabulous: realmolo: In me experience, what bosses REALLY want is this: Nothing but good news. You want your boss to like you and give you raises and promotions? Never give them bad news. Ever. Even if you have to lie.

I had a boss once, back when I worked in a huge company, who actually said to me once, "Look, I know how it works. You have to lie to me. Just...lie to me, and then make it come true. OK?"

I did not like working for a boss who counted on untruth as standard operating procedure. I have learned that I do better in a reality-based environment.

Now I work at a small company; six guys and a receptionist. We are all responsible for everything, always. It makes absolutely no sense to lie here (except to clients, occasionally).

Not lying to each other is what I describe as "start up culture."


Hmm.

Yeah, this.
 
2014-04-14 12:13:37 PM  
To Whom It May Concern:

I am a brutally honest, hopelessly aquiescent, perpetually depressed loner who does not respond well to pressure or criticism. I am a very hard worker, but never take any satisfaction in anything. My attendence and strong work ethic are consistently impeccable, however I feel like my efforts are never recognized, even though I seek no accolades. I am a magnet for abuse and ridicule, and my self-esteem is barely existent. I wake up every day wondering when this empty sea of my defeated heart and spirit will have a ship pull into this foggy, desolate harbor which has been barren for so long. Despite my best efforts, people do not take me seriously, and most dismiss me before any chance arises, voiding any opportunity to show what skills and talent I actually possess.

For these reasons, I will be a fantastic asset to your company, as I have absolutely no hopes or aspirations. You will never hear me ask for a raise, promotion or anything that will cost your fine company money because I simply don't deserve it. However, the bar for expectations has been set incredlibly low, so I will appreciate anything and everything that comes my way, and will take nothing for granted. My bleak outlook on life will be a valuable contribution to your organization because employees need perspective and daily reminders on how serious your business actually is. If they wish to have any dignity or morale, perhaps they are in the wrong place.

 I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
NeuroticRocker
 
2014-04-14 12:15:06 PM  
^^Ignore the typos. They've been fixed in another draft stored elsewhere. This one was more convenient to access quickly
 
2014-04-14 12:33:09 PM  

NeuroticRocker: To Whom It May Concern:

I am a brutally honest, hopelessly aquiescent, perpetually depressed loner who does not respond well to pressure or criticism. I am a very hard worker, but never take any satisfaction in anything. My attendence and strong work ethic are consistently impeccable, however I feel like my efforts are never recognized, even though I seek no accolades. I am a magnet for abuse and ridicule, and my self-esteem is barely existent. I wake up every day wondering when this empty sea of my defeated heart and spirit will have a ship pull into this foggy, desolate harbor which has been barren for so long. Despite my best efforts, people do not take me seriously, and most dismiss me before any chance arises, voiding any opportunity to show what skills and talent I actually possess.

For these reasons, I will be a fantastic asset to your company, as I have absolutely no hopes or aspirations. You will never hear me ask for a raise, promotion or anything that will cost your fine company money because I simply don't deserve it. However, the bar for expectations has been set incredlibly low, so I will appreciate anything and everything that comes my way, and will take nothing for granted. My bleak outlook on life will be a valuable contribution to your organization because employees need perspective and daily reminders on how serious your business actually is. If they wish to have any dignity or morale, perhaps they are in the wrong place.

 I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
NeuroticRocker


Thanks for penning my cover letter!
 
2014-04-14 12:42:47 PM  
Man, you guys have worked at some terrible places.

I absolutely want someone who is self-motivated, organized, and independent. If you're talking about a jr person that's one thing, but if I'm hiring a sr level, experienced, person, I should be able to give them the overall direction, strategy, and my first pass at the tactics, and then they should take it from there.

That may mean, btw, telling me my first pass is wrong and we need to do it this way instead, or that we even need to adjust the strategy based of the realities of the situation.

I'm looking for a colleague that can look at things in different ways and think of things I haven't, and I know my management has the same expectations of me.

I don't think I'm rare in feeling this way, but I've never worked for the kinds of places many of you seem to have, so I don't have a lot to base that on.
 
2014-04-14 12:43:57 PM  

NeuroticRocker: To Whom It May Concern:

I am a brutally honest, hopelessly aquiescent, perpetually depressed loner who does not respond well to pressure or criticism. I am a very hard worker, but never take any satisfaction in anything. My attendence and strong work ethic are consistently impeccable, however I feel like my efforts are never recognized, even though I seek no accolades. I am a magnet for abuse and ridicule, and my self-esteem is barely existent. I wake up every day wondering when this empty sea of my defeated heart and spirit will have a ship pull into this foggy, desolate harbor which has been barren for so long. Despite my best efforts, people do not take me seriously, and most dismiss me before any chance arises, voiding any opportunity to show what skills and talent I actually possess.

For these reasons, I will be a fantastic asset to your company, as I have absolutely no hopes or aspirations. You will never hear me ask for a raise, promotion or anything that will cost your fine company money because I simply don't deserve it. However, the bar for expectations has been set incredlibly low, so I will appreciate anything and everything that comes my way, and will take nothing for granted. My bleak outlook on life will be a valuable contribution to your organization because employees need perspective and daily reminders on how serious your business actually is. If they wish to have any dignity or morale, perhaps they are in the wrong place.

 I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
NeuroticRocker


I am currently job hunting. Can I borrow this?
 
2014-04-14 01:29:58 PM  

NeuroticRocker: To Whom It May Concern:

I am a brutally honest, hopelessly aquiescent, perpetually depressed loner who does not respond well to pressure or criticism. I am a very hard worker, but never take any satisfaction in anything. My attendence and strong work ethic are consistently impeccable, however I feel like my efforts are never recognized, even though I seek no accolades. I am a magnet for abuse and ridicule, and my self-esteem is barely existent. I wake up every day wondering when this empty sea of my defeated heart and spirit will have a ship pull into this foggy, desolate harbor which has been barren for so long. Despite my best efforts, people do not take me seriously, and most dismiss me before any chance arises, voiding any opportunity to show what skills and talent I actually possess.

For these reasons, I will be a fantastic asset to your company, as I have absolutely no hopes or aspirations. You will never hear me ask for a raise, promotion or anything that will cost your fine company money because I simply don't deserve it. However, the bar for expectations has been set incredlibly low, so I will appreciate anything and everything that comes my way, and will take nothing for granted. My bleak outlook on life will be a valuable contribution to your organization because employees need perspective and daily reminders on how serious your business actually is. If they wish to have any dignity or morale, perhaps they are in the wrong place.

 I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
NeuroticRocker


Woodhouse?
 
2014-04-14 02:04:34 PM  

El Dudereno: Woodhouse


I don't know who or what that is, but no. I wrote it.

Nemo's Brother

Nuclear Monk

Yes of course you can use it. Why not? Everything else gets taken from me. 

/Just Kidding
//Not really
///Yes you can use it
 
2014-04-14 02:12:20 PM  
Employers lie, no need to RTFA.

Profane, or REAAAAALLY offensive?

www.hotflick.net
 
2014-04-14 02:20:33 PM  
10 personality traits my employer wants? Well, for what they pay me, they can pick 2.
 
2014-04-14 02:28:18 PM  

NeuroticRocker: To Whom It May Concern:

I am a brutally honest, hopelessly aquiescent, perpetually depressed loner who does not respond well to pressure or criticism. I am a very hard worker, but never take any satisfaction in anything. My attendence and strong work ethic are consistently impeccable, however I feel like my efforts are never recognized, even though I seek no accolades. I am a magnet for abuse and ridicule, and my self-esteem is barely existent. I wake up every day wondering when this empty sea of my defeated heart and spirit will have a ship pull into this foggy, desolate harbor which has been barren for so long. Despite my best efforts, people do not take me seriously, and most dismiss me before any chance arises, voiding any opportunity to show what skills and talent I actually possess.

For these reasons, I will be a fantastic asset to your company, as I have absolutely no hopes or aspirations. You will never hear me ask for a raise, promotion or anything that will cost your fine company money because I simply don't deserve it. However, the bar for expectations has been set incredlibly low, so I will appreciate anything and everything that comes my way, and will take nothing for granted. My bleak outlook on life will be a valuable contribution to your organization because employees need perspective and daily reminders on how serious your business actually is. If they wish to have any dignity or morale, perhaps they are in the wrong place.

 I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
NeuroticRocker


How did you get ahold of my resume?
 
2014-04-14 03:15:13 PM  

ghare: HotIgneous Intruder: Beta dogs and dog-ettes need apply to the service economy.
Then they can service me.

Oh, yeah, you're an "alpha." Yeah. Right.


Nope.
Just not obsequious.
 
2014-04-14 03:46:56 PM  
4. Self-motivated
5. Team-oriented


So they want a bunch of people who are each able to do their own thing... on a team?

That explains an awful lot about an awful lot of workplaces...
 
2014-04-14 03:49:45 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: padraig: I noticed that when employers want "self-motivated" and "Organized, and able to manage multiple priorities", they actually mean, "we will not actually manage you, so please keep yourself occupied".


As a manager, I disagree. Nothing more irritating than a woman who has been here for four years asking me what to do with something that she's handled dozens and dozens of times before. You know the procedures and policies. Make it work. I shouldn't have to hold your hand all day.


Dude, she's sweet on you.
 
2014-04-14 03:50:57 PM  

Raider_dad: Also helps to be purple and clairvoyant.


Hail Hydra!
 
2014-04-14 03:54:20 PM  
One sentence.

They have to be like me but not exactly like me because that would be creepy.
 
2014-04-14 04:33:24 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: OhioUGrad: AverageAmericanGuy: Cheap
Young
Stupid
Good looking
Showered
Shaved legs
Fresh panties
Mini-skirt
Flexible
Not obese

How did you get the list of how I pick my women?

Think the list in the article could have just said "slave".

That's your list? Really?

Mine just says "Pulse"


Picky, picky.
 
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