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(Soshiok)   "Come taste our coffee that some girl on Instagram thinks is WORSE than HORSEPISS"   (soshiok.com) divider line 52
    More: Silly, HORSEPISS, Instagram  
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2651 clicks; posted to Business » on 13 Apr 2014 at 10:25 AM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-13 07:30:33 AM  
"I'm baffled (as to) why they have to single me out. When you go to other review websites, I'm sure you can find other negative feedback..." said Ms Loo, who is a social media consultant.


What's this world coming to, when you can't make a scathing comment without getting called on it.
 
2014-04-13 07:55:16 AM  
WTF is a "social media consultant"?

/that title alone invites mockery
 
2014-04-13 08:23:52 AM  
One cannot help but ponder how much horse piss Ms. Loo has consumed to offer such an educated comparison
 
2014-04-13 08:59:21 AM  
This sort of hyperbolic whining has rendered sites like Yelp as utterly worthless as far as discerning the quality of a bar/restaurant/coffee shop.  People have to wait three minutes for a waiter to show up, have something that isn't as bland or under-spiced as they usually like it, or are just plain in a bad mood they act as if they had personally suffered the agonies of Christ and the establishment were 100 percent responsible.

I apologize if you have heard my Yelp story, which I have shared on Fark before but here it is....

My gripe with Yelp is that people can really rip a place apart before it's even gotten off the ground. A friend's restaurant was panned by some doofus my friends let in for the opening party. The feckstick was writing stuff like "the staff seemed totally unprepared and the menu was incomplete" Dickwad gets let in for a free nosh and brewskis and rips on a place that is in the middle of celebrating its own got damn freaking OPENING with a GOT DAMN PARTY.

It peeved me a bit.
 
2014-04-13 09:43:58 AM  

brap: This sort of hyperbolic whining has rendered sites like Yelp as utterly worthless as far as discerning the quality of a bar/restaurant/coffee shop.  People have to wait three minutes for a waiter to show up, have something that isn't as bland or under-spiced as they usually like it, or are just plain in a bad mood they act as if they had personally suffered the agonies of Christ and the establishment were 100 percent responsible.

I apologize if you have heard my Yelp story, which I have shared on Fark before but here it is....

My gripe with Yelp is that people can really rip a place apart before it's even gotten off the ground. A friend's restaurant was panned by some doofus my friends let in for the opening party. The feckstick was writing stuff like "the staff seemed totally unprepared and the menu was incomplete" Dickwad gets let in for a free nosh and brewskis and rips on a place that is in the middle of celebrating its own got damn freaking OPENING with a GOT DAMN PARTY.

It peeved me a bit.


They think they're doing it as a service to the public, without taking into account the mitigating factors. You need someone who the restaurant does not know is reviewing them, yet has some knowledge of the business. It is hard to tell the real complaints from the doofusi on Yelp. So it is best to assume they're all doofusi.
 
2014-04-13 09:53:27 AM  

brap: This sort of hyperbolic whining has rendered sites like Yelp as utterly worthless as far as discerning the quality of a bar/restaurant/coffee shop.  People have to wait three minutes for a waiter to show up, have something that isn't as bland or under-spiced as they usually like it, or are just plain in a bad mood they act as if they had personally suffered the agonies of Christ and the establishment were 100 percent responsible.

I apologize if you have heard my Yelp story, which I have shared on Fark before but here it is....

My gripe with Yelp is that people can really rip a place apart before it's even gotten off the ground. A friend's restaurant was panned by some doofus my friends let in for the opening party. The feckstick was writing stuff like "the staff seemed totally unprepared and the menu was incomplete" Dickwad gets let in for a free nosh and brewskis and rips on a place that is in the middle of celebrating its own got damn freaking OPENING with a GOT DAMN PARTY.

It peeved me a bit.


**

The post started out okay but then it got really meandering. I waited for what seemed like forever for it to get to a point, and when it did, it was underdone and incomplete. I complained to the moderators but it turns out that the post was written by a moderator. Spelling was decent, though. Would not read again.
 
2014-04-13 09:59:31 AM  
I don't trust the opinion of anyone who knows what horse piss tastes like.
 
2014-04-13 10:04:59 AM  

Shostie: brap: This sort of hyperbolic whining has rendered sites like Yelp as utterly worthless as far as discerning the quality of a bar/restaurant/coffee shop.  People have to wait three minutes for a waiter to show up, have something that isn't as bland or under-spiced as they usually like it, or are just plain in a bad mood they act as if they had personally suffered the agonies of Christ and the establishment were 100 percent responsible.

I apologize if you have heard my Yelp story, which I have shared on Fark before but here it is....

My gripe with Yelp is that people can really rip a place apart before it's even gotten off the ground. A friend's restaurant was panned by some doofus my friends let in for the opening party. The feckstick was writing stuff like "the staff seemed totally unprepared and the menu was incomplete" Dickwad gets let in for a free nosh and brewskis and rips on a place that is in the middle of celebrating its own got damn freaking OPENING with a GOT DAMN PARTY.

It peeved me a bit.

**

The post started out okay but then it got really meandering. I waited for what seemed like forever for it to get to a point, and when it did, it was underdone and incomplete. I complained to the moderators but it turns out that the post was written by a moderator. Spelling was decent, though. Would not read again.


*snert*

/nice
 
2014-04-13 10:45:19 AM  
This sounds planned out to me.
 
2014-04-13 10:47:14 AM  
THIS is how you handle stupid online criticism.

"I'm baffled (as to) why they have to single me out.

Cause you are a vacant entitled twitlet of a human being.
 
2014-04-13 10:58:07 AM  

Shostie: The post started out okay but then it got really meandering. I waited for what seemed like forever for it to get to a point, and when it did, it was underdone and incomplete. I complained to the moderators but it turns out that the post was written by a moderator. Spelling was decent, though. Would not read again.


Using the coffee shop as my lead, I guess I should post this review in my OK Cupid profile to convince ironic sexual internet traffic to sample my penis.
 
2014-04-13 11:18:08 AM  
What horse piss might look like
www.microscopy-uk.org.uk

 
2014-04-13 11:18:50 AM  

EvilEgg: ...doofusi.


Doofes?
 
2014-04-13 11:21:35 AM  

baka-san: THIS is how you handle stupid online criticism.


I don't know. Speaking as a coffee drinker, I think I'd just avoid this social media drama farkery and get Starbucks. Seeing that sign on the street is in no way going to make me curious or want to go in. They're advertising that a customer thinks their coffee tastes like piss. Sorry, that's a pass. I don't care whether it is or isn't, I'm shopping elsewhere where I don't have to pray for coffee that might be swallowable.
 
2014-04-13 11:28:15 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: WTF is a "social media consultant"?

/that title alone invites mockery


Do people point and laugh when you walk by? That's because you still use MySpace. You need to set up a Facebook profile, better yet, set up maybe a dozen of them so you can Friend yourself back and forth. See? You're not such a pathetic loser after all. Now you need to drum up some buzz, so put something outrageous on Twitter, like "You know, maybe McVeigh had the right idea" then go to your Facebook accounts and link to it, posting a bunch of "OMG" replies. You need to keep one account that's like the kingpin, that everything points to, so someone on Twitter will click on Facebook, drill down through the links and eventually end up on your "real" page. Now everyone can see how fascinating you are, so take a lot of duckface selfies and post a new one every five minutes all day long.

There. I just saved you $5000.

Well, that's what she charged me.
 
2014-04-13 11:41:05 AM  
Yelp is good for getting a lot of info on different restaurants in one spot and for taking star ratings as a whole to get a sense of a place. A lot of details in the reviews are petty and many times outside of the place's power to fix. Some reviewers act like they should walk into a place and be treated as the only important customer.
 
2014-04-13 11:59:04 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: WTF is a "social media consultant"?

/that title alone invites mockery


It is an "in" and "with it" job title of absolutely zero relevance in society.  It's the kind of title hipster douchebags wear as a badge of honor while looking down their collective noses at everyone else.
 
2014-04-13 12:08:37 PM  
okay, mass twitter posting time.  copy and paste.

@daphnemaia is a #pisspoor writer/consultant. she smells like she just emerged from the #loo. do NOT consult with her!

I'm sure she'd have no problem with it ... until she saw it was tweeted to thousands of followers.
 
2014-04-13 12:09:09 PM  
"As a business, they have to take criticisms and feedback. I'm entitled to my opinion that I don't like the coffee," Ms Loo said.

Saying something tastes like horse piss isn't giving feedback, it's being a troll. Had she wanted to provide feedback she could have said what she found bad about the coffee. It was too strong or weak or it had a bitter taste etc.

This kind of thing is exactly why I pay no attention to review sites, if I want to know if a restaurant is good or bad I go there and see for myself. If I have a bad experience I tell the manager about it so they can try and correct the problem.
 
2014-04-13 12:10:55 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: WTF is a "social media consultant"?

/that title alone invites mockery


if companies weren't generally pants-on-head potato when it comes to social media, this job would not exist.
 
2014-04-13 12:18:29 PM  
Gordon Ramsey almost broke character when he asked a customer "how would you know what cat food tastes like?"
 
2014-04-13 12:19:32 PM  

crozzo: MaudlinMutantMollusk: WTF is a "social media consultant"?

/that title alone invites mockery

Do people point and laugh when you walk by? That's because you still use MySpace. You need to set up a Facebook profile, better yet, set up maybe a dozen of them so you can Friend yourself back and forth. See? You're not such a pathetic loser after all. Now you need to drum up some buzz, so put something outrageous on Twitter, like "You know, maybe McVeigh had the right idea" then go to your Facebook accounts and link to it, posting a bunch of "OMG" replies. You need to keep one account that's like the kingpin, that everything points to, so someone on Twitter will click on Facebook, drill down through the links and eventually end up on your "real" page. Now everyone can see how fascinating you are, so take a lot of duckface selfies and post a new one every five minutes all day long.

There. I just saved you $5000.

Well, that's what she charged me.


Incoming Story:

My boss has worked in sales for 50 years and he doesn't get tech stuff (He's very much a dorky grandpa but still incredibly professional). We get calls and visits from the vapid bimbos in different ad companies trying to sell "social media optimization" packages - mostly whoring out their network of bots and moron followers for money. I love the promise that they can make our brand "go viral".

It's Chrysler. I work for a Chrysler dealership. You can't farking go viral when you were a Fortune 500 company.

/Fortunately, those sales reps have big boobies and low cut tops
 
2014-04-13 12:54:25 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: It's Chrysler. I work for a Chrysler dealership.


"If you can find a better social media rep...Hire Them!"
"We can give your social media Rich Corenthen Leather"
"That thing got a social Media in it?"
 
2014-04-13 12:58:04 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-13 01:00:16 PM  

baka-san: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: It's Chrysler. I work for a Chrysler dealership.

"If you can find a better social media rep...Hire Them!"
"We can give your social media Rich Corenthen Leather"
"That thing got a social Media in it?"


Don't forget the popundercoating!
 
2014-04-13 01:05:32 PM  
Or they could have just used reviewmender.com.
 
2014-04-13 02:52:41 PM  
I don't have a problem with the 'horsepiss' description. It may not be very imaginative, certainly meant in 'I thought it was disgusting', not literally horsepiss; but I don't necessarily see it as truly insulting either.

/have known several people that refer to Mt. Dew as panther piss - I assume mostly because of the color as much as taste.
//personally if I wanted to insult some coffee establishment, I'd compare it to the sludge Mc'D's sells... I truly can't abide their coffee, and I virtually lived on Navy coffee for years.
///docs took most of my coffee away, only an occassional cup. Nowadays it's unsweet tea and Dt. Dew/what's on sale for my caffeine fix.
 
2014-04-13 03:04:32 PM  

Tired_of_the_BS: I don't have a problem with the 'horsepiss' description. It may not be very imaginative, certainly meant in 'I thought it was disgusting', not literally horsepiss; but I don't necessarily see it as truly insulting either.


If you want your review to be taken seriously, then there should be an actual description, not baseless hyperbole.

The store called her on it. They should've left her name on the sign too. But it turns out she thought the store had to just take her criticism quietly and then whined about being outed. She's probably only a couple of "reviews" away from being sued for libel.
 
2014-04-13 03:36:30 PM  
Social media works both ways sugar tits, as an expert you should have already known that.  Go bawww somewhere else.
 
2014-04-13 04:08:59 PM  
Farkers, your word of the day is "jumentous" -

jumentous (joo • men′ • təs), adj. - Of, relating to, or smelling like horse urine [L, jumentum, beast of burden]

Examples:

1. Waiter, please get me another coffee. This one is downright jumentous.
2. Hey Drew, can I get another Heineken?
 
2014-04-13 04:14:03 PM  

cyberspacedout: Farkers, your word of the day is "jumentous" -

jumentous (joo • men′ • təs), adj. - Of, relating to, or smelling like horse urine [L, jumentum, beast of burden]

Examples:

1. Waiter, please get me another coffee. This one is downright jumentous.
2. Hey Drew, can I get another Heineken?


Until some plebe calls you an anti-Semite after hearing that as "Jew-mentous". And there is no arguing that. It's a damned if you do... situation.
 
2014-04-13 04:17:44 PM  

cyberspacedout: Farkers, your word of the day is "jumentous" -

jumentous (joo • men′ • təs), adj. - Of, relating to, or smelling like horse urine [L, jumentum, beast of burden]

Examples:

1. Waiter, please get me another coffee. This one is downright jumentous.
2. Hey Drew, can I get another Heineken?


Sounds like you could get in as much trouble using that as you might if you call a parsimonious person nubianrdly

/I wonder if that even gets through the filter
 
2014-04-13 04:31:06 PM  

starsrift: baka-san: THIS is how you handle stupid online criticism.

I don't know. Speaking as a coffee drinker, I think I'd just avoid this social media drama farkery and get Starbucks. Seeing that sign on the street is in no way going to make me curious or want to go in. They're advertising that a customer thinks their coffee tastes like piss. Sorry, that's a pass. I don't care whether it is or isn't, I'm shopping elsewhere where I don't have to pray for coffee that might be swallowable.


Maybe they are catering to clientele who like the taste of horse piss?  Stop liking what I don't like!...
 
2014-04-13 05:11:57 PM  
Well, that joke backfired in an unexpected manner. I must've forgotten the audience here; if I'd left out the pronunciation of the word, you guys probably wouldn't have raised the issue..
 
2014-04-13 05:15:52 PM  

EvilEgg: "I'm baffled (as to) why they have to single me out. When you go to other review websites, I'm sure you can find other negative feedback..." said Ms Loo, who is a social media consultant.

What's this world coming to, when you can't make a scathing comment without getting called on it.


Read "week-long viral advertising campaign." She posts a "negative comment," which in turn allows the diner to post a "revenge comment," all using a hashtag that wasn't in use prior to the advertising campaign. Drum up some local reporting on the "controversy," and there you have it - lots of attention for the diner, yet another manufactured, polarized argument on Twitter, and a social media consultant who probably gets free coffee in return for her services.

Social media has taught me one very important thing - take nothing at face value.
 
2014-04-13 05:21:05 PM  

phaseolus: EvilEgg: ...doofusi.

Doofes?


Focus -> Foci

Doofus -> Doofi

Q.E.D.
 
2014-04-13 05:37:21 PM  
Easy solution, just make a "no posting this on instagram" rule:

farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2014-04-13 06:24:58 PM  
Why would she confess to drinking Bud?
That said, some coffee does consistently taste worse than Bud because they burn the crap out of their coffee beans.
(The rumor that they brew it with used battery acid is categorically false: They use paper cups.)
 
2014-04-13 06:36:51 PM  

EvilEgg: "I'm baffled (as to) why they have to single me out. When you go to other review websites, I'm sure you can find other negative feedback..." said Ms Loo, who is a social media consultant.


What's this world coming to, when you can't make a scathing comment without getting called on it.


This. It's all fun and games to single out a restaurant with a social media comment, but how dare they single her out since everyone's doing it. The nerve!

That's an awesome idea. Good for the restaurant.
 
2014-04-13 06:41:42 PM  
At a bar, they probably wouldn't care about leaving their coffee to sit on the burner for a long time. After a certain amount of time, it gets stale and much more acidic - maybe a half hour if it's in an uninsulated clear glass pot. It's not the same acid as in horse urine, but some people just aren't as good at discerning flavors.
 
2014-04-13 06:46:15 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: crozzo: MaudlinMutantMollusk: WTF is a "social media consultant"?

/that title alone invites mockery

Do people point and laugh when you walk by? That's because you still use MySpace. You need to set up a Facebook profile, better yet, set up maybe a dozen of them so you can Friend yourself back and forth. See? You're not such a pathetic loser after all. Now you need to drum up some buzz, so put something outrageous on Twitter, like "You know, maybe McVeigh had the right idea" then go to your Facebook accounts and link to it, posting a bunch of "OMG" replies. You need to keep one account that's like the kingpin, that everything points to, so someone on Twitter will click on Facebook, drill down through the links and eventually end up on your "real" page. Now everyone can see how fascinating you are, so take a lot of duckface selfies and post a new one every five minutes all day long.

There. I just saved you $5000.

Well, that's what she charged me.

Incoming Story:

My boss has worked in sales for 50 years and he doesn't get tech stuff (He's very much a dorky grandpa but still incredibly professional). We get calls and visits from the vapid bimbos in different ad companies trying to sell "social media optimization" packages - mostly whoring out their network of bots and moron followers for money. I love the promise that they can make our brand "go viral".

It's Chrysler. I work for a Chrysler dealership. You can't farking go viral when you were a Fortune 500 company.

/Fortunately, those sales reps have big boobies and low cut tops


A friend of mine got a promotion and a raise when he pointed out to his boss that he could do everything a "social media consultant" could do during the course of his normal workday.
 
2014-04-13 06:51:21 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: You can't farking go viral when you were a Fortune 500 company.


Ha! I work for Oracle, and I get similar pitches in my email. "Want to increase revenues, lower costs, and boost your social presence online?" Yes. Yes I do. You see, hardly anyone's heard of our small startup. We need exposure, and we need it now.

/That contact list you paid for? You wasted your money.
 
2014-04-13 07:58:22 PM  
I only thaid it wath horthe pith.

/ I never thaid I didn't like it
// Thame again?
 
2014-04-13 07:58:32 PM  
Having checked her about.me page and her twitter page and her employer's page, I am pretty sure that "social media consultant" means "unemployed".
 
2014-04-13 09:38:05 PM  
Why is anyone surprised that someone named Loo knows the taste of piss?
 
2014-04-13 11:48:03 PM  

brap: This sort of hyperbolic whining has rendered sites like Yelp as utterly worthless as far as discerning the quality of a bar/restaurant/coffee shop.  People have to wait three minutes for a waiter to show up, have something that isn't as bland or under-spiced as they usually like it, or are just plain in a bad mood they act as if they had personally suffered the agonies of Christ and the establishment were 100 percent responsible.

I apologize if you have heard my Yelp story, which I have shared on Fark before but here it is....

My gripe with Yelp is that people can really rip a place apart before it's even gotten off the ground. A friend's restaurant was panned by some doofus my friends let in for the opening party. The feckstick was writing stuff like "the staff seemed totally unprepared and the menu was incomplete" Dickwad gets let in for a free nosh and brewskis and rips on a place that is in the middle of celebrating its own got damn freaking OPENING with a GOT DAMN PARTY.

It peeved me a bit.


Not sure I can trust a review of yelp by someone who says "nosh and brewskis."
 
2014-04-14 01:42:16 AM  
I trust the instagram whiner far more than I trust the people whining about something that was said about them on instagram.
 
2014-04-14 03:13:57 AM  
I'd spin it, "Our coffee is 100% endorsed by R Kelly."
 
2014-04-14 10:01:21 AM  
"I'm baffled (as to) why they have to single me out. When you go to other review websites, I'm sure you can find other negative feedback..." said Ms Loo, who is a social media consultant.

Perhaps they did so to insure your remedial training as a social media consultant *.

*Which is BS artist.
 
2014-04-14 10:01:59 AM  

moike: I'd spin it, "Our coffee is 100% endorsed by R Kelly."


You're in marketing aren't you?
 
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