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(Science Daily)   Want a better sex life? Get married and go to church. SCIENCE HAS SPOKEN   (sciencedaily.com) divider line 143
    More: Obvious, applied research, gay sex, social ties, Pinto, quality of life, marital status, churches  
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6079 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Apr 2014 at 9:11 PM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-13 01:05:37 AM  

Jim_Callahan: Married people by definition have decided to put an active investment of resources and effort into making the relationship work long-term, and made an active decision that they don't care how their relationship compares to others.


Show your work, please.
 
2014-04-13 01:20:52 AM  
Well duh.  Sex is always more exhilarating when mixed with a healthy dose of shame.
 
2014-04-13 01:26:33 AM  
Subby, I would tell you to go to Hell, but I'm an atheist, and we don't believe in such things.
 
2014-04-13 01:27:26 AM  

skinink: If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life never make a pretty woman your wife. So from my personal point of view get an ugly girl to marry you.


I'll be 40 in a few years, and I'm finally beginning to figure this out.
 
2014-04-13 01:27:45 AM  
Think about it, Jesus bummed around with fishermen.  Notorious liars and drunks.  He was shacked up with a whore.  He kicked the shiat out of bankers in a government building.  He threw a party so epic that 2000 years later we're still talking about it.  And then the best they could do was convict him for disturbing the peace.

You can't go wrong following a man like that.
 
2014-04-13 01:37:49 AM  

joaquin closet: Nobody noticed this is from Portugal? Science does not apply.


I was going to say, probably a huge cultural difference right there.
 
2014-04-13 01:40:27 AM  
I forgot to mention that Jesus turned water into wine so he also approved of being drunk which explained much of the gospel and his hanging out with drunken fishermen
 
2014-04-13 01:40:49 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: Think about it, Jesus bummed around with fishermen.  Notorious liars and drunks.  He was shacked up with a whore.  He kicked the shiat out of bankers in a government building.  He threw a party so epic that 2000 years later we're still talking about it.  And then the best they could do was convict him for disturbing the peace.

You can't go wrong following a man like that.


www.castingfrontier.com

Farkin' A, man.
 
2014-04-13 01:51:33 AM  

The Flexecutioner: Well duh.  Sex is always more exhilarating when mixed with a healthy dose of shame.


You don't need religion for that :P
 
2014-04-13 01:56:05 AM  
I'll dispute this. The wife and I get some pretty intense action during Sunday nooners while the righteous are busy praying.

/She is on her knees though.
 
2014-04-13 02:01:05 AM  
Obviously I went to the wrong church; should have hung out with the Catholics or Mormons.

/the charismatic-evangelical Protestants were no fun
 
2014-04-13 02:18:28 AM  

skinink: If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life never make a pretty woman your wife. So from my personal point of view get an ugly girl to marry you.


Yep, that's true. If you're a manipulative coont, always marry "down". That way, they're so happy to have you, you can get away with all kinds of bullshiat someone else wouldn't tolerate.
 
2014-04-13 02:32:31 AM  
Assumes self-reported stupid study. Checks article. Yep.
 
2014-04-13 03:28:20 AM  
Wow, a lot of anti-science people here. I guess y'all will join with the Anti-Global Warming crowd.
 
2014-04-13 04:20:12 AM  

Prophet of Loss: Wow, a lot of anti-science people here. I guess y'all will join with the Anti-Global Warming crowd.


You do realize the study was performed in Portugal, right, and was actually a write-up of a test of a proposed scale to evaluate satisfaction and mental/social health in regards to romantic relationships, right?
 
2014-04-13 06:51:53 AM  
Church? Ain't nobody got time for that. Sex? You're married now. Ain't nobody in the mood for that. Sex IN church? Well I suppose if you're a priest or a choirboy. But not in front of the altar! It's disrespectful.
 
2014-04-13 07:33:58 AM  
Makes sense. In both cases, you're constantly thinking "fark this!"
 
2014-04-13 07:46:11 AM  
Wide stance.
 
2014-04-13 07:49:46 AM  

hardinparamedic: Prophet of Loss: Wow, a lot of anti-science people here. I guess y'all will join with the Anti-Global Warming crowd.

You do realize the study was performed in Portugal, right, and was actually a write-up of a test of a proposed scale to evaluate satisfaction and mental/social health in regards to romantic relationships, right?


Oh you mean just like climate change deniers - unwarranted attacks on the research and the source.

"Its cold right now! Disprove that! Global warming is lie!" is no different than what you are spewing.
 
2014-04-13 07:51:22 AM  
I thought they only had Alter Boys?  I don't want to have sex with no boys.  Then I realized they also have Alter Girls...
 
2014-04-13 08:08:32 AM  

WhoopAssWayne: Hermione_Granger: From my experience going to church improves your sex life if for no other reason than it expands your pool of potential partners.

Yep. In a pool you'd like to swim in.


Baptismal pool party?
 
2014-04-13 08:57:09 AM  
A lot of freaky girls go to church. Don't rule it out.
 
2014-04-13 08:59:32 AM  
Or instead of wasting time at church, you could have sex.
 
rpm
2014-04-13 09:10:44 AM  

FullMetalPanda: I thought they only had Alter Boys?  I don't want to have sex with no boys.  Then I realized they also have Alter Girls...


You like alter girls? Whatever floats your boat. NTTAWWT

www.laweekly.com
 
2014-04-13 09:31:35 AM  

fusillade762: The finding that believers and regular churchgoers are positive about their love lives is in line with previous studies that associate religious involvement with better mental health and greater satisfaction with life and sexual relationships in general.

OK, I'm calling shenanigans.


Religion gives easy, convenient, and satisfying answers to all of life's difficult answers. Why bother wondering why we exist, or how we came to be, or if we have any purpose, or the big one - what happens to use when we die? Those kind of questions and uncertainties can crush a weak mind. In comes religion. All of those are answered with answers that make the person feel special. Plus, if anything bad happens they now get to pray, which makes them feel less helpless as it makes them feel like they're able to do something about a situation which is otherwise beyond their control.

It makes them think that they exist through divine purpose instead of facing the idea that their existence is completely random and ultimately meaningless. All of the things that they cannot directly control? No worries, the big guy has it covered. Even so, life is hard and they have to struggle through it. Not a problem, heaven is waiting for them. Little Timmy has brain cancer and wont make it to his 8th birthday? God works in mysterious ways.

Some people drink or do drugs to make all of life's problems go away, at least for a little while. Other's pray.
 
2014-04-13 09:36:40 AM  

Pincy: Ima4nic8or: I don't know about the church thing but getting married certainly helps.  Once you get married there is always a vagina there just waiting to be poked.  You don't even have to try anymore.  As an example, the wife and I were recently out and saw some younger guy open a car door for the chick he was with.  My wife commented on it and asked why I don't do that any more.  I said, "because I already know I am going to get some."  She gave me the stink eye but guess what? That night I got some anyway.

Your wife is a lucky woman.


True that
 
2014-04-13 09:42:45 AM  

CtrlAltDestroy: fusillade762: The finding that believers and regular churchgoers are positive about their love lives is in line with previous studies that associate religious involvement with better mental health and greater satisfaction with life and sexual relationships in general.

OK, I'm calling shenanigans.

Religion gives easy, convenient, and satisfying answers to all of life's difficult answers. Why bother wondering why we exist, or how we came to be, or if we have any purpose, or the big one - what happens to use when we die? Those kind of questions and uncertainties can crush a weak mind. In comes religion. All of those are answered with answers that make the person feel special. Plus, if anything bad happens they now get to pray, which makes them feel less helpless as it makes them feel like they're able to do something about a situation which is otherwise beyond their control.

It makes them think that they exist through divine purpose instead of facing the idea that their existence is completely random and ultimately meaningless. All of the things that they cannot directly control? No worries, the big guy has it covered. Even so, life is hard and they have to struggle through it. Not a problem, heaven is waiting for them. Little Timmy has brain cancer and wont make it to his 8th birthday? God works in mysterious ways.

Some people drink or do drugs to make all of life's problems go away, at least for a little while. Other's pray.


Amen brother..  Sorry couldn't help it
 
2014-04-13 10:44:47 AM  
"Want a better sex life? Get married and go to church."

Oh yeah? I'm both evangelical Christian and married. My sex life sucks and has sucked from day one. The woman used the promise of sex to seal the deal (even though we had already agreed to marry) with no intention to follow through. Her words, "I only did those things because I wanted you to marry me." I always, naively, thought that if you make the woman cum you get invited back. Well, that isn't true. I can get more and better action from any street walker. They put some effort into it since they want you to come back again.  Any kind of sex talk by me, either serious or joke, unleashes a torrent of Bible verses and the admonition that I'm going to Hell.  You want my advice? Do not marry a 29 year old virgin. If she is still a virgin at 29 there is something wrong.

Bitter? You have no idea!
 
2014-04-13 10:49:00 AM  

WhoopAssWayne: farkette716: Someone want to get married and bang after church???? Taking applications

Well, that's pretty much what is expected after getting married.

Now, having a good bang in the church (after hours) and later getting married - that would be a story. (though one that has been repeated many times by many others)


My friend had gay sex in a church once.
 
2014-04-13 11:04:21 AM  

Ambivalence: TheBigJerk: cretinbob: [img3.wikia.nocookie.net image 640x360]

The fact that "Cretin" is derived from the word "christian" makes this post unintentionally amusing.

I thought the word Cretin had to do with the Isle of Crete.  Someone who is from Crete is a Cretin.  Like how the term "Gyp" is derived from gypsies.


Well, my source for that statement is impeachable.
 
2014-04-13 11:47:07 AM  

sendtodave: fusillade762: The finding that believers and regular churchgoers are positive about their love lives is in line with previous studies that associate religious involvement with better mental health and greater satisfaction with life and sexual relationships in general.

OK, I'm calling shenanigans.

Feelings of depression and alienation > search for spirituality > join a religion > sense of community and belonging > better mental health.

"Religious involvement" could really just read "emotional involvement and connectedness with other human beings," I think.


Pretty much this. Of course when you spent the past few decades making your day off a Sunday and then forcing everything but churches to close down on a sunday, you limit the available choices. Even the post office being open on a Sunday was considered a threat as people would turn up to communicate.

I imagine as more stuff opened on a Sunday, that this will slowly change.
 
2014-04-13 01:30:36 PM  

pudgyv: "Want a better sex life? Get married and go to church."

Oh yeah? I'm both evangelical Christian and married. My sex life sucks and has sucked from day one. The woman used the promise of sex to seal the deal (even though we had already agreed to marry) with no intention to follow through. Her words, "I only did those things because I wanted you to marry me." I always, naively, thought that if you make the woman cum you get invited back. Well, that isn't true. I can get more and better action from any street walker. They put some effort into it since they want you to come back again.  Any kind of sex talk by me, either serious or joke, unleashes a torrent of Bible verses and the admonition that I'm going to Hell.  You want my advice? Do not marry a 29 year old virgin. If she is still a virgin at 29 there is something wrong.

Bitter? You have no idea!


Why are you still married?
 
2014-04-13 01:52:57 PM  
Universidade do Porto in Portugal

i340.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-13 01:55:55 PM  

peacheslatour: pudgyv: "Want a better sex life? Get married and go to church."

Oh yeah? I'm both evangelical Christian and married. My sex life sucks and has sucked from day one. The woman used the promise of sex to seal the deal (even though we had already agreed to marry) with no intention to follow through. Her words, "I only did those things because I wanted you to marry me." I always, naively, thought that if you make the woman cum you get invited back. Well, that isn't true. I can get more and better action from any street walker. They put some effort into it since they want you to come back again.  Any kind of sex talk by me, either serious or joke, unleashes a torrent of Bible verses and the admonition that I'm going to Hell.  You want my advice? Do not marry a 29 year old virgin. If she is still a virgin at 29 there is something wrong.

Bitter? You have no idea!

Why are you still married?


My question as well.
 
2014-04-13 01:59:04 PM  

peacheslatour: pudgyv: "Want a better sex life? Get married and go to church."

Oh yeah? I'm both evangelical Christian and married. My sex life sucks and has sucked from day one. The woman used the promise of sex to seal the deal (even though we had already agreed to marry) with no intention to follow through. Her words, "I only did those things because I wanted you to marry me." I always, naively, thought that if you make the woman cum you get invited back. Well, that isn't true. I can get more and better action from any street walker. They put some effort into it since they want you to come back again.  Any kind of sex talk by me, either serious or joke, unleashes a torrent of Bible verses and the admonition that I'm going to Hell.  You want my advice? Do not marry a 29 year old virgin. If she is still a virgin at 29 there is something wrong.

Bitter? You have no idea!

Why are you still married?


I guess divorce is a bigger sin than screwing hookers.
 
2014-04-13 02:00:51 PM  

pudgyv: "Want a better sex life? Get married and go to church."

Oh yeah? I'm both evangelical Christian and married. My sex life sucks and has sucked from day one. The woman used the promise of sex to seal the deal (even though we had already agreed to marry) with no intention to follow through. Her words, "I only did those things because I wanted you to marry me." I always, naively, thought that if you make the woman cum you get invited back. Well, that isn't true. I can get more and better action from any street walker. They put some effort into it since they want you to come back again.  Any kind of sex talk by me, either serious or joke, unleashes a torrent of Bible verses and the admonition that I'm going to Hell.  You want my advice? Do not marry a 29 year old virgin. If she is still a virgin at 29 there is something wrong.

Bitter? You have no idea!


Yeah, time to leave that marriage. It's not going to get better. Probably should write up a restraining order too, because she sounds like the type who will say that the divorce doesn't count.
 
2014-04-13 02:10:03 PM  

MadCat221: GilRuiz1: [i224.photobucket.com image 700x377]

WHO HAS DEACTIVATED MY BEAUTIFUL FROGS?!?!


"HE DID!!!!!!"
 
2014-04-13 04:20:45 PM  

hardinparamedic: My deviant sex life is just fine without doing it in a church, thank you.


Odd as it sounds to some, those friends of mine who are into some really hardcore S&M are all regular churchgoers. For those familiar with how repressed those churches are, it's not exactly a shocker.

If you are at all familiar with Joan Cusack's character on Shameless, the women you find in these churches are a lot like that.
 
2014-04-13 04:22:18 PM  

Prophet of Loss: Oh you mean just like climate change deniers - unwarranted attacks on the research and the source.

"Its cold right now! Disprove that! Global warming is lie!" is no different than what you are spewing.


d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net
 
2014-04-13 06:53:01 PM  

hardinparamedic: .

[d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net image 420x294]


I was telling a woman at work a couple weeks ago about how "bless your heart" is actually an insult in southern speak and she was mortified "I say that all the time!"
 
2014-04-13 07:47:54 PM  

LoneWolf343: pudgyv: "Want a better sex life? Get married and go to church."

Oh yeah? I'm both evangelical Christian and married. My sex life sucks and has sucked from day one. The woman used the promise of sex to seal the deal (even though we had already agreed to marry) with no intention to follow through. Her words, "I only did those things because I wanted you to marry me." I always, naively, thought that if you make the woman cum you get invited back. Well, that isn't true. I can get more and better action from any street walker. They put some effort into it since they want you to come back again.  Any kind of sex talk by me, either serious or joke, unleashes a torrent of Bible verses and the admonition that I'm going to Hell.  You want my advice? Do not marry a 29 year old virgin. If she is still a virgin at 29 there is something wrong.

Bitter? You have no idea!

Yeah, time to leave that marriage. It's not going to get better. Probably should write up a restraining order too, because she sounds like the type who will say that the divorce doesn't count.


Indeed.  Why be bitter when you can be free?
 
2014-04-13 11:51:29 PM  
It's all fun and games until a magical sky daddy bangs your virgin bride!
 
2014-04-14 12:27:40 AM  

SBinRR: Our formula for a better sex life is, she has a stronger sex drive than I do, and we play well with others.

It isn't for everyone,but it works quite well for us.


And all the people she isn't telling you about.

/so it is for everyone
 
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