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(Softpedia)   Gwyneth Paltrow channels Norma Desmond, forces friends to watch all her films, former husband expected to become her butler   (news.softpedia.com ) divider line 74
    More: Strange, Gwyneth Paltrow, Norma Desmond, Shakespeare in Love  
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2867 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Apr 2014 at 3:38 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-11 01:59:31 PM  
If the stories about her are true, she's not nearly hot enough to be the high maintenance biatch she apparently is.
 
2014-04-11 02:11:40 PM  
Her Oscar was bought and paid for.


But then, most are.
 
2014-04-11 02:49:46 PM  
If she is really as vapid as reported her kids are lost causes.
 
2014-04-11 03:40:37 PM  
becominggladysglover.weebly.com
 
2014-04-11 03:41:16 PM  
Butler?  Why, did he hit her with his car?
 
2014-04-11 03:44:01 PM  

Mugato: If the stories about her are true, she's not nearly hot enough to be the high maintenance biatch she apparently is.


It was of her that some wag said "She was born on 3rd base and thinks she hit a home run."
 
2014-04-11 03:45:36 PM  
Lol.. a lot  of people saying what i'm thinking... "if this is true then...."

Thing is... as unbelievable as it sounds, it sounds believable.
 
2014-04-11 03:47:30 PM  
Do you KNOW who I am??? I'm...
...
...Pepper Potts!

(It's the PIT-CHAs that have gotten smaller...)
 
2014-04-11 03:49:11 PM  
Gwyneth is said to have been the one who called all the shots in her marriage, [as to] whether an open marriage would be best for them as a couple. Admittedly, she deemed the idea was good for her but bad for him, so she was the only one "allowed" to sleep with other people.

She's so thoughtful to take his feelings into account like that. A less-caring wife would have forced him to go have sex with the thousands of nubile groupies that throw themselves at him every day.
 
2014-04-11 03:49:15 PM  
Being treated as though you were special all of your life and then the slowly dawning awareness that, maybe, just maybe, you really aren't all that special after all...
 
2014-04-11 03:49:40 PM  

Delawheredad: If she is really as vapid as reported her kids are lost causes.


Not necessarily. I have friends who's parents were insane control freaks and they ended up fine. One of them described their childhood as one long lesson in what not to do as a parent and life in general.
 
2014-04-11 03:50:25 PM  
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
All right Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up".
 
2014-04-11 03:51:10 PM  
All that ego, and yet she's not even as attractive as her mother.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-11 04:04:45 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: Mugato: If the stories about her are true, she's not nearly hot enough to be the high maintenance biatch she apparently is.

It was of her that some wag said "She was born on 3rd base and thinks she hit a home run."


That stupid quote is in every Paltrow thread. Not that I disagree, but get some new material, people.
 
2014-04-11 04:07:52 PM  
"Gwyneth is said to have been the one who called all the shots in her marriage, starting from their two kids' diet and the permanent ban on treats, including ice cream, to Chris' diet ..."

Well, she's concerned about the health of her family. I admire any mother who cares enough about her family to make sure that they only consume clean, healthy products.

img.thesun.co.uk
I'm quite certain that her tobacco is organic.
 
2014-04-11 04:11:44 PM  
This was her best scene in her best movie.

michaelmurray.ca


That's the Oscar clip right there.
 
2014-04-11 04:14:15 PM  

Mugato: If 1/2 the stories about her are true, she's not nearly hot enough to be the high maintenance biatch she apparently is.


no one could be
 
2014-04-11 04:15:17 PM  
I guess her Pro Tip on BJ's wasn't enough to keep her husband around.
 
2014-04-11 04:17:11 PM  

Mugato: This was her best scene in her best movie.

[michaelmurray.ca image 411x253]

That's the Oscar clip right there.


If I were Chris Martin I'd have that scene playing in a constant loop on every TV in the house.

/What's in the box?!?!
//What's in the farking box?!?!
///Oh, he didn't know...
 
2014-04-11 04:19:03 PM  

Atomic Spunk: "Gwyneth is said to have been the one who called all the shots in her marriage, starting from their two kids' diet and the permanent ban on treats, including ice cream, to Chris' diet ..."

Well, she's concerned about the health of her family. I admire any mother who cares enough about her family to make sure that they only consume clean, healthy products.

[img.thesun.co.uk image 620x637]
I'm quite certain that her tobacco is organic.

That photo is clearly doctored, there is no way her ear lobes are that small, she is Goop approved, no way she would allow earlobes like that.  I'm fine with everything else though.

 
2014-04-11 04:19:07 PM  

tom baker's scarf: Mugato: If 1/2 the stories about her are true, she's not nearly hot enough to be the high maintenance biatch she apparently is.

no one could be


Is this why there's no Sahllow Hal 2?
 
2014-04-11 04:23:13 PM  
Chris Martin and Jon Gosselin need to have a few drinks and chat.
 
2014-04-11 04:23:34 PM  
Atomic Spunk:
Well, she's concerned about the health of her family. I admire any mother who cares enough about her family to make sure that they only consume clean, healthy products.

I'm quite certain that her tobacco is organic.


And Fair Trade.
 
2014-04-11 04:24:23 PM  
That woman is scary as hell.
 
2014-04-11 04:24:28 PM  
Do I get to stare at her and touch myself provocatively during the sex scene in Shakespeare in Love? That might make it worth it.
 
2014-04-11 04:25:14 PM  

Interceptor1: I guess her Pro Tip on BJ's wasn't enough to keep her husband around.


She could suck start a leaf blower for all I care and it still wouldn't make up for how coonty she is.
 
2014-04-11 04:27:34 PM  

Mugato: This was her best scene in her best movie.

[michaelmurray.ca image 411x253]


That's the Oscar clip right there.


What's in the baaaaaaaaahhhx??
 
2014-04-11 04:30:09 PM  

rhodabear: Chris Martin and Jon Gosselin need to have a few drinks and chat.


Battered husbands anonymous.

/Never stick your d*ck in the crazy
 
2014-04-11 04:38:11 PM  
www.frieze.com
 
2014-04-11 04:42:47 PM  

Atomic Spunk: "Gwyneth is said to have been the one who called all the shots in her marriage, starting from their two kids' diet and the permanent ban on treats, including ice cream, to Chris' diet ..."

Well, she's concerned about the health of her family. I admire any mother who cares enough about her family to make sure that they only consume clean, healthy products.

[img.thesun.co.uk image 620x637]
I'm quite certain that her tobacco is organic.


Well, depending on whose definition you use, tobacco is organic as are most of the additives.

/She's welcome to a nice steaming mug of PCB if she'd like because that's organic too
 
2014-04-11 04:50:38 PM  
What a coont
 
2014-04-11 04:50:58 PM  
Wow, that's one sad woman.
 
2014-04-11 04:59:23 PM  
I'm trying to think of my favorite non-Iron Man (and non-Avengers, you pedants) GP movie.

Shallow Hal was forgettable, but I think I laughed. Se7en, but who the fark credits her for any of the goodness in that film? Her whole role is "be bored unless Somerset is talking".

// whoa, wait - she was in Hook?
// oh, for that one scene (of "Young Wendy", as a teen)
 
2014-04-11 05:00:51 PM  
Is there a way that we can separate the awesome Gwyneth Paltrow that plays Pepper Potts and is hot as the firey pits of Hell from the Gwyneth Paltrow who is...well, annoyingly high-maintenance and way too self-centered for her own good? Because I really like Gwyneth when she's Pepper.
 
2014-04-11 05:06:24 PM  

Clutch2013: Is there a way that we can separate the awesome Gwyneth Paltrow that plays Pepper Potts and is hot as the firey pits of Hell from the Gwyneth Paltrow who is...well, annoyingly high-maintenance and way too self-centered for her own good? Because I really like Gwyneth when she's Pepper.


Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
 
2014-04-11 05:11:22 PM  
Off the top of my head I can only think of three movies that she was in that are watchable.  And those are just movies that she happen to be in not definitive "her movies"...

And cause you didn't ask, they are Seven, Sky Captain (screw you I liked it) and Iron Man(s) which I count as one movie cause it makes my statistical point more damning that's why.
 
2014-04-11 05:16:03 PM  

mjohnson71: Clutch2013: Is there a way that we can separate the awesome Gwyneth Paltrow that plays Pepper Potts and is hot as the firey pits of Hell from the Gwyneth Paltrow who is...well, annoyingly high-maintenance and way too self-centered for her own good? Because I really like Gwyneth when she's Pepper.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.


Yeah, and that's what's kinda sad about it. Everywhere else, and especially in light of the constant rumors and stories swirling around her, she's like a really expensive Ferrari. Look and appreciate the beauty, but don't you dare take her anywhere she doesn't like, or you'll regret it.

I just can't reconcile that Gywneth with the one that fills Pepper's shoes. It's like she loosens up and becomes cooler for it. That role is her Snickers, and holy crap if that's not what she needs right now.

"From now on, you're Pepper Potts."
"...Um, OK, but you know that's just a part I play, right?"
"That's the point - we all like you more when you're Pepper and not Gwyneth. Less Gwyneth, more Pepper."
 
2014-04-11 05:22:43 PM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Sky Captain (screw you I liked it)


If it makes you feel better, I actually liked it, too.

Also, she was fine in "Great Expectations".
 
2014-04-11 05:43:10 PM  

Dr Dreidel: I'm trying to think of my favorite non-Iron Man (and non-Avengers, you pedants) GP movie.

Shallow Hal was forgettable, but I think I laughed. Se7en, but who the fark credits her for any of the goodness in that film? Her whole role is "be bored unless Somerset is talking".

// whoa, wait - she was in Hook?
// oh, for that one scene (of "Young Wendy", as a teen)


The Royal Tenenbaums?
 
2014-04-11 05:45:32 PM  

Mugato: If the stories about her are true, she's not nearly hot enough to be the high maintenance biatch she apparently is.


But but but, Most Beautiful Woman ever according to magazines!!!
 
2014-04-11 06:02:18 PM  

Clutch2013: Is there a way that we can separate the awesome Gwyneth Paltrow that plays Pepper Potts and is hot as the firey pits of Hell from the Gwyneth Paltrow who is...well, annoyingly high-maintenance and way too self-centered for her own good? Because I really like Gwyneth when she's Pepper.


She probably likes Gwyneth when she plays Pepper.

She strikes me at not being happy with herself.
 
2014-04-11 06:03:13 PM  

chitownmike: Dr Dreidel: I'm trying to think of my favorite non-Iron Man (and non-Avengers, you pedants) GP movie.

Shallow Hal was forgettable, but I think I laughed. Se7en, but who the fark credits her for any of the goodness in that film? Her whole role is "be bored unless Somerset is talking".

// whoa, wait - she was in Hook?
// oh, for that one scene (of "Young Wendy", as a teen)

The Royal Tenenbaums?


Didn't see it (though I haven't met a Wes Anderson movie I liked. Dunno why that is).

// also didn't see Shakespeare in Love
 
2014-04-11 06:08:12 PM  

Dr Dreidel: chitownmike: Dr Dreidel: I'm trying to think of my favorite non-Iron Man (and non-Avengers, you pedants) GP movie.

Shallow Hal was forgettable, but I think I laughed. Se7en, but who the fark credits her for any of the goodness in that film? Her whole role is "be bored unless Somerset is talking".

// whoa, wait - she was in Hook?
// oh, for that one scene (of "Young Wendy", as a teen)

The Royal Tenenbaums?

Didn't see it (though I haven't met a Wes Anderson movie I liked. Dunno why that is).

// also didn't see Shakespeare in Love


Fair enough but Gene Hackman and Danny Glover's scene makes up for the Anderson quirkiness
 
2014-04-11 06:15:30 PM  

theorellior: SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Sky Captain (screw you I liked it)

If it makes you feel better, I actually liked it, too.

Also, she was fine in "Great Expectations".


Internet fist bump.

Now that we are cool...I liked Sucker Punch...but that may be an albatross that I bear alone...
 
2014-04-11 06:19:50 PM  

chitownmike: Dr Dreidel: chitownmike: Dr Dreidel: I'm trying to think of my favorite non-Iron Man (and non-Avengers, you pedants) GP movie.

Shallow Hal was forgettable, but I think I laughed. Se7en, but who the fark credits her for any of the goodness in that film? Her whole role is "be bored unless Somerset is talking".

// whoa, wait - she was in Hook?
// oh, for that one scene (of "Young Wendy", as a teen)

The Royal Tenenbaums?

Didn't see it (though I haven't met a Wes Anderson movie I liked. Dunno why that is).

// also didn't see Shakespeare in Love

Fair enough but Gene Hackman and Danny Glover's scene makes up for the Anderson quirkiness


Tenenbaums is the most watchable of his films for those who normally don't like the tone of his work.
 
2014-04-11 06:25:05 PM  

Cepheus Crater: Atomic Spunk: "Gwyneth is said to have been the one who called all the shots in her marriage, starting from their two kids' diet and the permanent ban on treats, including ice cream, to Chris' diet ..."

Well, she's concerned about the health of her family. I admire any mother who cares enough about her family to make sure that they only consume clean, healthy products.

[img.thesun.co.uk image 620x637]
I'm quite certain that her tobacco is organic.

That photo is clearly doctored, there is no way her ear lobes are that small, she is Goop approved, no way she would allow earlobes like that.  I'm fine with everything else though.


Attached earlobes. Recessive trait.
 
2014-04-11 06:29:08 PM  
I disbelieve.
 
2014-04-11 06:40:27 PM  
She heels it down the shower drain.
 
2014-04-11 06:54:42 PM  

FunkOut: Clutch2013: Is there a way that we can separate the awesome Gwyneth Paltrow that plays Pepper Potts and is hot as the firey pits of Hell from the Gwyneth Paltrow who is...well, annoyingly high-maintenance and way too self-centered for her own good? Because I really like Gwyneth when she's Pepper.

She probably likes Gwyneth when she plays Pepper.

She strikes me at not being happy with herself.


IMHO, this is why actors become Scientologists.
 
2014-04-11 07:06:33 PM  

chitownmike: Dr Dreidel: I'm trying to think of my favorite non-Iron Man (and non-Avengers, you pedants) GP movie.

Shallow Hal was forgettable, but I think I laughed. Se7en, but who the fark credits her for any of the goodness in that film? Her whole role is "be bored unless Somerset is talking".

// whoa, wait - she was in Hook?
// oh, for that one scene (of "Young Wendy", as a teen)

The Royal Tenenbaums?


I like Emma, though I'm a sucker for Austen movies, and it's still not as good an Emma adaptation as Clueless.
 
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