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(BT.com)   Forget boob enhancement and nose jobs. The real money in plastic surgery these days is in foot facelifts, sideburn transplants and palm line alterations   (home.bt.com) divider line 35
    More: Weird, Bradley Wiggins, Ancient art, sewage treatment, soft tissues, hair transplant  
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2683 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Apr 2014 at 7:25 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-11 02:44:34 PM
Can you change your future by changing the lines on your palm?
 
2014-04-11 04:23:59 PM
I would like to be able to grow decent mutton chops.
 
2014-04-11 04:40:19 PM
i'm going to donate my sideburns when i die, they are much better off than my organs anyway
 
2014-04-11 05:05:27 PM
Forget boob enhancement? Try and make me!
 
2014-04-11 05:40:39 PM
'Stilettotarsal' is a condition caused by high heels - when pain hits the soft tissue on the ball of the foot. The cure? Botox in the feet.

Not wearing high heels all the time is apparently too difficult.
 
2014-04-11 05:57:47 PM

Muta: Can you change your future by changing the lines on your palm?


You need to have the hair removed first.
 
2014-04-11 07:29:48 PM
I've got so many lines on my palms I'd like to see a palm reader just to make them go "WTF is this shiat?"
 
2014-04-11 07:33:09 PM
Still no penis enlargement.
 
2014-04-11 07:37:13 PM
foot facelifts

I would question the ability of any cosmetic surgeon who thinks the feet and face are just about in the same area of the body.

/foot-in-mouth joke is now void
 
2014-04-11 07:37:46 PM
Can I have the lines of my palm altered to read like a dirty joke?
 
2014-04-11 07:44:28 PM

Muta: Can you change your future by changing the lines on your palm?


This.

It's bad enough people are dumb enough to think creases on your palm tell your future, but now they are so dumb they think those wrinkles determine one's future?

Doctor: I'm sorry, Mr Tanaka, but you have AIDS. [hands Mr Tanaka the lab report]
Tanaka: [whips out a pen and scrawls an 'M' on the report] There! Now I have MAIDS! I've always wanted a maid!
 
v15
2014-04-11 07:48:40 PM
Elf ears? God, I hated those LOTR movies and the 2nd part of the Hobbit. Just not a fan of that genre!
 
2014-04-11 07:51:10 PM
That botox in the feet thing is quite interesting. I wonder if it has been tried for other foot pain issues like plantar fasciitis.
People pay a lot of money for insoles and padding, this could be a different way of doing things. Hell, it could work barefoot. That would be incredible.
 
2014-04-11 07:52:44 PM
I think we're gonna need some pictures of enhanced boobs just to be sure.  Lots of pictures.
 
2014-04-11 07:58:14 PM

ArcadianRefugee: foot facelifts

I would question the ability of any cosmetic surgeon who thinks the feet and face are just about in the same area of the body.

/foot-in-mouth joke is now void


Wouldn't it be a "footlift"...
 
2014-04-11 07:59:58 PM
"Forget boob enhancement"

After Tori Spelling's mournful boob divot, I wish I could. A lit q-tip jammed in the ear does not burn that image away.
 
2014-04-11 08:05:42 PM

Kalashinator: "Forget boob enhancement"

After Tori Spelling's mournful boob divot, I wish I could. A lit q-tip jammed in the ear does not burn that image away.


"Mournful Boob Divot" is the name of my Evanescence cover band.
 
2014-04-11 08:17:10 PM
DAT PROCEDURE

yazmar.com
 
2014-04-11 08:52:32 PM
I did not know that sideburn transplants were a thing. Now I need to go see if my Health Savings Account covers them.
 
2014-04-11 08:53:36 PM
i.kinja-img.com
 
2014-04-11 09:35:20 PM
Doesn't this kind of shiat violate the hipp-hyp-hippopotamus oath?

As for the ears, you could think of them as Vulcan/Romulan ears but they'd have to introduce green dye into the bloodstream.
 
2014-04-11 09:35:51 PM
Sideburn transplant wtf

If I could just get electrolysis on the parts of my face where a chin-tee & sideburns don't grow, I'd be farking ecstatic.
 
2014-04-11 10:02:57 PM
And this is my Mother's Brothr, Uncle John Pettybone Randall III. His sideburns have been in the family for generations.

They were praised by General Burnside himself.
  My Great-Grandaddy got them from a Yankee who stood too close to a cannon.

Oh, that must be an urban legend, like the woman who was made with child by a bullet.

No, that really happened. To my Great-Grandaddy. After he gave birth to the twins he resigned his commission and declared he would make war and babies no more.
 
2014-04-11 10:25:51 PM
Im getting a third nipple.
 
2014-04-11 10:28:42 PM

The Martian Manhandler: I did not know that sideburn transplants were a thing. Now I need to go see if my Health Savings Account covers them.


You don't want to spend any time in the Sideburn Ward. It's not pretty.
 
2014-04-11 10:34:53 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-04-11 11:27:15 PM

Muta: Can you change your future by changing the lines on your palm?


That's apparently exactly the point of the surgery. And it's mostly popular with Japanese and Chinese, because Asia has some serious superstitious going on.

And they're kind of right.... I can confidently predict you will have several hundred less dollars in the bank if you get this surgery than if you do not!
 
2014-04-11 11:30:59 PM

God-is-a-Taco: That botox in the feet thing is quite interesting. I wonder if it has been tried for other foot pain issues like plantar fasciitis.
People pay a lot of money for insoles and padding, this could be a different way of doing things. Hell, it could work barefoot. That would be incredible.


Yeah, pain relief by Botox isn't really exactly what I'd call plastic surgery. If it actually works, why not? By the time you get that bad, switching to flats is unlikely to stop it from hurting, though it might keep it from getting any worse.

They've suggested using it for migraines, too, apparently it can legitimately help. Again, not the same thing as "I'd rather have no ability to express emotion than have wrinkles."

And I just heard they think it might be good for depression by keeping you from frowning, which triggers your brain to believe you're sad.... except it might also cause depression by keeping you from smiling, for the same reason. So, uh, I'll keep my expressions, thanks.
 
2014-04-11 11:53:35 PM
My barber left my sideburns long on last two visits. By golly if I'm not growing some impressive sideburns.

/provides camouflage for the ear hair that has sprung from my ears like a hobbit in heat...
 
2014-04-12 12:01:14 AM
Dr. Jan Itor
i265.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-12 12:15:12 AM
Muttonchops. Link
Mungo Jerry - In the summertime: Link

Mungo Jerry - In the summertime: http://youtu.be/yG0oBPtyNb0
 
2014-04-12 12:27:51 AM

Muta: Can you change your future by changing the lines on your palm?


One thing for sure, you can change your future by robbing a full Wells Fargo armed vehicle.
 
2014-04-12 05:50:13 AM

Kalashinator: Tori Spelling's mournful boob divot


yeah, right, they're like the notebook sad
 
2014-04-12 09:57:48 AM
i.huffpost.com
 
2014-04-12 01:55:36 PM
I will forget boob enhancements when they pry them from my cold dead hands.
 
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