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(Washington Post)   The burger wars heat up: just days after McDonald's announces it will close all its outlets in Crimea to protest Russian actions in Ukraine, Burger King unveils plans to open scores of new restaurants in the suddenly open territory   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 39
    More: Followup, Mcdonald, Ukraine, Crimean, Russians, burger wars, dry cask storage, Russian oligarchs, Machiavellian  
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643 clicks; posted to Business » on 10 Apr 2014 at 3:23 PM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-10 11:39:36 AM  
Good.  Nothing would punish these people more than feeding them the limp dick excuse that Burger King calls fries.

And what the hell is up with that anyway?  To my recollection BK has made three attempts in my lifetime to at least be as good as the fries at McD's and they've always failed.  Why is it so hard to mimic a McDonald's fry?  Is there some secret fry technology that BK just cannot master?  Are they puzzled by the potato matrix?

As for the rest of the menu... fark it.  Burger King has become America's least essential fast food chain.  Everyone can think of a fast food place they'd rather go to than BK.
 
2014-04-10 11:53:19 AM  
More proof the Burger King is evil.

"Where is your Obama now?"
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-04-10 01:06:46 PM  
The fake flame broil smell is the scent of communist oppression!
 
2014-04-10 01:33:38 PM  

Diogenes: The fake flame broil smell is the scent of communist oppression!


That smell haunts my dreams with it's smoky seduction.

/also, how is it fake?
 
2014-04-10 01:42:33 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: Diogenes: The fake flame broil smell is the scent of communist oppression!

That smell haunts my dreams with it's smoky seduction.

/also, how is it fake?


I was of the understanding they added something to the meat.  That's why the smell is distinct, yet consistent across restaurants.  Doesn't smell like any other place that grills burgers that I know of.
 
2014-04-10 01:55:19 PM  

Diogenes: InterruptingQuirk: Diogenes: The fake flame broil smell is the scent of communist oppression!

That smell haunts my dreams with it's smoky seduction.

/also, how is it fake?

I was of the understanding they added something to the meat.  That's why the smell is distinct, yet consistent across restaurants.  Doesn't smell like any other place that grills burgers that I know of.


I used to work there ~20 years ago, long before I ever thought to look at labeling. Never heard anything, but I really didn't care then, too busy growing straight up with the consumption of every ounce of food I could get my hands on.

According to their nutritional info pdf, "WHOPPER® PATTIES and HAMBURGER PATTIES :100% USDA inspected Ground Beef (Fire-Grilled) "
 
2014-04-10 03:21:46 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: "WHOPPER® PATTIES and HAMBURGER PATTIES :100% USDA inspected Ground Beef (Fire-Grilled) "


That doesn't mean that 100% of their composure is beef.  That means that the USDA completed 100% of their inspection.  Results of said inspection are a confidential trade secret.
 
2014-04-10 03:40:58 PM  
So Putin gets to be Burger King too.
 
2014-04-10 03:41:47 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Is there some secret fry technology that BK just cannot master?


Adding more salt.

/wishes mcdonalds would make sweet potato fries, which are da bomb
//haven't gone to BK in over a decade
 
2014-04-10 03:43:17 PM  
Burger Czar?
 
2014-04-10 03:43:41 PM  
 
2014-04-10 03:43:58 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Good.  Nothing would punish these people more than feeding them the limp dick excuse that Burger King calls fries.

And what the hell is up with that anyway?  To my recollection BK has made three attempts in my lifetime to at least be as good as the fries at McD's and they've always failed.  Why is it so hard to mimic a McDonald's fry?  Is there some secret fry technology that BK just cannot master?  Are they puzzled by the potato matrix?

As for the rest of the menu... fark it.  Burger King has become America's least essential fast food chain.  Everyone can think of a fast food place they'd rather go to than BK.


You must be young then.

I remember around the time Toy Story came out, BK had been voted the best fries in the country. At some point since then with the whole ban trans fats thing, they messed them up and McDs took the lead.
 
2014-04-10 03:43:58 PM  

bdub77: Rapmaster2000: Is there some secret fry technology that BK just cannot master?

Adding more salt.

/wishes mcdonalds would make sweet potato fries, which are da bomb
//haven't gone to BK in over a decade


Put me down as a sweet potato fry hater.  They don't have the starch to crisp up.  If I want a mushy sweet potato, I'll take it baked with butter.
 
2014-04-10 03:45:37 PM  
I like their breakfasts, and I miss those  cheesy loaded hash brown nuggets they used to have many years back. After breakfast, not good. And really, their breakfast is overshadowed by Jack in the Box, since the croissants were the only good thing.

/Whataburger's honey butter chicken biscuit on the jalapeno cheddar biscuit is AMAZING
 
2014-04-10 03:46:52 PM  
But on a more serious note: pretty dick move of McDs to pull out in the first place. I'd assume the people in the Ukraine are losing their minds building shelters for the inevitable war. Can't imagine the grocery stores are very well stocked. Being able to grab some cheap fast food would probably be really good for the people, who are just caught up in a political shiatstorm.
 
2014-04-10 03:47:32 PM  

Rapmaster2000: bdub77: Rapmaster2000: Is there some secret fry technology that BK just cannot master?

Adding more salt.

/wishes mcdonalds would make sweet potato fries, which are da bomb
//haven't gone to BK in over a decade

Put me down as a sweet potato fry hater.  They don't have the starch to crisp up.  If I want a mushy sweet potato, I'll take it baked with butter.


False. I have crispy sweet potato fries all the time, at home, at the store. You can add starch to crisp them too.
 
2014-04-10 03:57:06 PM  

Bullseyed: Rapmaster2000: Good.  Nothing would punish these people more than feeding them the limp dick excuse that Burger King calls fries.

And what the hell is up with that anyway?  To my recollection BK has made three attempts in my lifetime to at least be as good as the fries at McD's and they've always failed.  Why is it so hard to mimic a McDonald's fry?  Is there some secret fry technology that BK just cannot master?  Are they puzzled by the potato matrix?

As for the rest of the menu... fark it.  Burger King has become America's least essential fast food chain.  Everyone can think of a fast food place they'd rather go to than BK.

You must be young then.

I remember around the time Toy Story came out, BK had been voted the best fries in the country. At some point since then with the whole ban trans fats thing, they messed them up and McDs took the lead.


38.  As of 2007 (https://www.cspinet.org/new/200705161.html ), they were still frying with trans fats which doesn't line up with Toy Story's release in 1995.  I think you might want to refresh that memory.
 
2014-04-10 03:58:50 PM  

bdub77: Rapmaster2000: bdub77: Rapmaster2000: Is there some secret fry technology that BK just cannot master?

Adding more salt.

/wishes mcdonalds would make sweet potato fries, which are da bomb
//haven't gone to BK in over a decade

Put me down as a sweet potato fry hater.  They don't have the starch to crisp up.  If I want a mushy sweet potato, I'll take it baked with butter.

False. I have crispy sweet potato fries all the time, at home, at the store. You can add starch to crisp them too.


Maybe crisp by your standards.  I deride your standards of crispness as insufficient.
 
2014-04-10 03:59:50 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Bullseyed: Rapmaster2000: Good.  Nothing would punish these people more than feeding them the limp dick excuse that Burger King calls fries.

And what the hell is up with that anyway?  To my recollection BK has made three attempts in my lifetime to at least be as good as the fries at McD's and they've always failed.  Why is it so hard to mimic a McDonald's fry?  Is there some secret fry technology that BK just cannot master?  Are they puzzled by the potato matrix?

As for the rest of the menu... fark it.  Burger King has become America's least essential fast food chain.  Everyone can think of a fast food place they'd rather go to than BK.

You must be young then.

I remember around the time Toy Story came out, BK had been voted the best fries in the country. At some point since then with the whole ban trans fats thing, they messed them up and McDs took the lead.

38.  As of 2007 (https://www.cspinet.org/new/200705161.html ), they were still frying with trans fats which doesn't line up with Toy Story's release in 1995.  I think you might want to refresh that memory.


I guess reading is difficult for you. In 1995 they were the "best fries" and at some point since then (this year is 2014) they got worse. Now tell me, is 2007 between 1995 and 2014?

Derp.
 
2014-04-10 04:02:13 PM  
Enjoy your donkey meat Whoppers, Ukranians!
 
2014-04-10 04:06:38 PM  

Bullseyed: Rapmaster2000: Bullseyed: Rapmaster2000: Good.  Nothing would punish these people more than feeding them the limp dick excuse that Burger King calls fries.

And what the hell is up with that anyway?  To my recollection BK has made three attempts in my lifetime to at least be as good as the fries at McD's and they've always failed.  Why is it so hard to mimic a McDonald's fry?  Is there some secret fry technology that BK just cannot master?  Are they puzzled by the potato matrix?

As for the rest of the menu... fark it.  Burger King has become America's least essential fast food chain.  Everyone can think of a fast food place they'd rather go to than BK.

You must be young then.

I remember around the time Toy Story came out, BK had been voted the best fries in the country. At some point since then with the whole ban trans fats thing, they messed them up and McDs took the lead.

38.  As of 2007 (https://www.cspinet.org/new/200705161.html ), they were still frying with trans fats which doesn't line up with Toy Story's release in 1995.  I think you might want to refresh that memory.

I guess reading is difficult for you. In 1995 they were the "best fries" and at some point since then (this year is 2014) they got worse. Now tell me, is 2007 between 1995 and 2014?

Derp.


In 1995 in "BK had been voted the best fries in the country".  You remember so well that well-known vote.

Give it up.  BK fries have sucked forever.  Saying herpaderp doesn't help you out. That's something young people do.
 
2014-04-10 04:13:36 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Maybe crisp by your standards.  I deride your standards of crispness as insufficient.


I thumb my nose at thee, sir! Good. Day.
 
2014-04-10 04:19:37 PM  

Bullseyed: You must be young then.

I remember around the time Toy Story came out, BK had been voted the best fries in the country. At some point since then with the whole ban trans fats thing, they messed them up and McDs took the lead.


Really?  Because I remember their fries being terrible in the 90's, too.
 
2014-04-10 04:39:14 PM  

serial_crusher: InterruptingQuirk: "WHOPPER® PATTIES and HAMBURGER PATTIES :100% USDA inspected Ground Beef (Fire-Grilled) "

That doesn't mean that 100% of their composure is beef.  That means that the USDA completed 100% of their inspection.  Results of said inspection are a confidential trade secret.


So this is the secret ingredient?

img.fark.net
 
2014-04-10 04:44:24 PM  

Bullseyed: Rapmaster2000: Bullseyed: Rapmaster2000: Good.  Nothing would punish these people more than feeding them the limp dick excuse that Burger King calls fries.

And what the hell is up with that anyway?  To my recollection BK has made three attempts in my lifetime to at least be as good as the fries at McD's and they've always failed.  Why is it so hard to mimic a McDonald's fry?  Is there some secret fry technology that BK just cannot master?  Are they puzzled by the potato matrix?

As for the rest of the menu... fark it.  Burger King has become America's least essential fast food chain.  Everyone can think of a fast food place they'd rather go to than BK.

You must be young then.

I remember around the time Toy Story came out, BK had been voted the best fries in the country. At some point since then with the whole ban trans fats thing, they messed them up and McDs took the lead.

38.  As of 2007 (https://www.cspinet.org/new/200705161.html ), they were still frying with trans fats which doesn't line up with Toy Story's release in 1995.  I think you might want to refresh that memory.

I guess reading is difficult for you. In 1995 they were the "best fries" and at some point since then (this year is 2014) they got worse. Now tell me, is 2007 between 1995 and 2014?

Derp.


Lol - well done.
 
2014-04-10 05:32:05 PM  
Isn't there some statistic about how no country in the world with a Macdonalds franchise has ever been invaded?  I guess now we know how this will end.
 
2014-04-10 06:00:47 PM  
media.npr.org

/At soviet Crimea Burger King, burger eat YOU!
 
2014-04-10 06:11:08 PM  
Pushing Booger King on those people is a war crime. Booger King is nasty!
 
2014-04-10 06:50:10 PM  
F*ck BK they arenot see a dime of my money from now o, not that have for years , can't stand their current fries.
 
2014-04-10 07:01:29 PM  
This is dramatic reversal of Burger King's usual marketing strategy, which is to figure out where a McDonald's restaurant is being built, then build a Burger King next door. Why do your own market research?
 
2014-04-10 07:09:54 PM  

rvesco: This is dramatic reversal of Burger King's usual marketing strategy, which is to figure out where a McDonald's restaurant is being built, then build a Burger King next door. Why do your own market research?


No need when most of your customers are those who wanted to go to the McDonalds but decided it was too crowded..
 
2014-04-10 07:31:42 PM  
I thought Taco Bell won the franchise wars....
 
2014-04-10 07:52:04 PM  

rvesco: This is dramatic reversal of Burger King's usual marketing strategy, which is to figure out where a McDonald's restaurant is being built, then build a Burger King next door. Why do your own market research?


That is how Dominos determined where to build to: following Pizza Hut.
 
2014-04-10 09:11:56 PM  
So, Burger King is content with being the Pepsi in this part of the world...

/Coke is for Jews, Pepsi is for Arabs.
 
2014-04-10 10:34:22 PM  
I used to actually enjoy Whoppers back in the day. Their chicken sandwiches were pretty darn good too. Of course, back then my only choices for nearby fast food burger joints were McDo's with their thousand island "secret sauce" (yech!) and Booger King. It was a sad day when BK closed their store in the food court of the building next to mine.
 
2014-04-10 10:52:42 PM  
"We are planning to open in Crimea, but I cannot say when exactly it will happen or how many outlets the company will have," Burger King Russia CEO Dmitry Medovy told

Well, okay then.

McDonald's closed in Crimea temporarily because the business climate sucks.  The tourist season there is a complete loss this year.  BK is looking to expand and taking an opportunity.  Secessionists get hungry too.  BK might open a couple of stores.

Also, who the fark goes on vacation to Crimea and eats at McDonald's or BK?

I went to France ONCE - just once.   There was a McDonald's and some French place serving burgers across the street from each other.  The French burgers weren't great, but at least they weren't exactly the same as I could get back in the US.
 
2014-04-11 12:09:01 AM  
The Burger King in my town earned a reputation for service á la Soviet...is there a link?
 
2014-04-11 04:51:31 AM  

Rapmaster2000: Bullseyed: Rapmaster2000: Bullseyed: Rapmaster2000: Good.  Nothing would punish these people more than feeding them the limp dick excuse that Burger King calls fries.

And what the hell is up with that anyway?  To my recollection BK has made three attempts in my lifetime to at least be as good as the fries at McD's and they've always failed.  Why is it so hard to mimic a McDonald's fry?  Is there some secret fry technology that BK just cannot master?  Are they puzzled by the potato matrix?

As for the rest of the menu... fark it.  Burger King has become America's least essential fast food chain.  Everyone can think of a fast food place they'd rather go to than BK.

You must be young then.

I remember around the time Toy Story came out, BK had been voted the best fries in the country. At some point since then with the whole ban trans fats thing, they messed them up and McDs took the lead.

38.  As of 2007 (https://www.cspinet.org/new/200705161.html ), they were still frying with trans fats which doesn't line up with Toy Story's release in 1995.  I think you might want to refresh that memory.

I guess reading is difficult for you. In 1995 they were the "best fries" and at some point since then (this year is 2014) they got worse. Now tell me, is 2007 between 1995 and 2014?

Derp.

In 1995 in "BK had been voted the best fries in the country".  You remember so well that well-known vote.

Give it up.  BK fries have sucked forever.  Saying herpaderp doesn't help you out. That's something young people do.


I loved their fries when I was in HS, in the 90s, and hate them now, so he's not wrong. McD's is still best.
 
2014-04-11 12:04:31 PM  

HeadLever: well we build it up and i buy 'em out
but, man they made me grind it out,
they open up a new place flipping meat
so i do, too - right across the street
i got the name i need the town they sell up in the end and it all shuts down
sometimes you gotta be an s.o.b. you wanna make a dream reality
competition? send 'em south
if they're gonna drown put a hose in their mouth
do not pass 'go' go straight to hell
i smell that meat hook smell
or my name's not kroc, that's kroc with a 'k'
like 'crocodile' but not spelled that way, now

Knopfler always has a unique take on this kind of stuff.


I had never heard Knopfler solo; I liked that song. I'll be checking my library to hear more. Thanks.
 
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