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(Some Guy)   KS Supreme Court rules that killing with a ham sandwich is indeed illegal   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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4551 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Dec 2001 at 12:32 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

24 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-12-09 12:39:17 AM  
duuuurrr but its already a dead pig.... whoa... deeeep.... Cough
2001-12-09 12:45:03 AM  
Does this mean Mama Cass was a suicide?
2001-12-09 12:49:20 AM  
Did they indict the ham sandwich? (grand jury reference, for those playing along at home)
2001-12-09 12:51:01 AM  
Killing with a ham sandwich = illegal
Killing a ham sandwich = ok
Killing Spam luncheon meat = [image from too old to be available]

On second thought, you can't kill Spam luncheon meat. That stuff has the shelf life of gravel.
2001-12-09 12:54:46 AM  
That headline was missleading. I demand a recount.
2001-12-09 12:55:03 AM  
But those who kill with pastrami are allowed to walk the streets! Damn!
2001-12-09 01:33:03 AM  
But hey, he actually killed with a pillow here... Methinks the ham sandwich was just a clever ruse.
I mean, that way it looked like the dude choked on dead pig on bread there... I wonder how he got caught?
2001-12-09 01:48:57 AM  
2001-12-09 02:02:12 AM  
Here's a tip for all you would be kevorkian's out there... stealing from your victim hurts your humanitarian claims...
2001-12-09 02:45:33 AM  
Damnit, beaten by TV's_Frank...Feh!!! ;-)
2001-12-09 04:01:41 AM  
Would that it had been Spam -- Cause of death: inhalation spamthrax.
Alt: All you have to do is inhale one spor(k)e and you're done.
2001-12-09 04:03:45 AM  
I apologize. . . obviously my judgment is severely impaired. Going to bed.
2001-12-09 04:52:27 AM  
The guy who did it obviously deserves what he got because only a moron would tell people about a murder he just did...

Keeley's death might not have led to any investigation but for statements from Hermosillo's three friends who said he told them he killed Keeley.

You idiot!!
2001-12-09 08:35:48 AM  
MMMMMM....Bloody Ham Sandwich
2001-12-09 08:51:02 AM  
"Two Friendship Meals workers found Keeley dead in his recliner in front of his television when they came to deliver lunch. Keeley was in poor health, suffering from malnutrition, the effects of alcoholism and a rapid heartbeat."

I'm pretty sure the medical term for suffering from a rapid heartbeat while dead is...alive. Although I guess "dead" qualifies as "poor health," too.

That's some darned fine writing, there. To make the paragraph sensible (and do some editor's job for him), change "was" to "had been."
2001-12-09 08:58:14 AM  
It's not just the humans anymore...

[image from too old to be available]

- Leo -
2001-12-09 10:21:02 AM  
Malinois Phew, I was getting worried I was the only one who thought of that!
2001-12-09 10:40:18 AM  
If he had just eaten the evidence... I'm sorry.
2001-12-09 11:18:41 AM  
yeah there are no points for stealing from the dead. especially if you made them that way.
2001-12-09 12:39:05 PM  
Sounds like there is no need for assisted-suicides anymore. Just use a ham sandwich.
2001-12-09 01:18:46 PM  
2001-12-10 03:53:30 AM  
easier than taking candy from a baby:
takning a ham sandwich from a dead man
2001-12-10 03:54:00 AM  
I regret that
2001-12-10 04:22:57 AM  
If we outlaw ham sandwiches, only outlaws will have ham sandwiches.
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