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(Yahoo)   How to Make Lasagna Without a Recipe, (A step-by-step guide ) Wait, Isn't that exactly what a recipe is?   (yahoo.com) divider line 99
    More: Amusing, sheet pan, casseroles, parmesan  
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4147 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Apr 2014 at 2:23 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



99 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-08 01:20:04 PM  
That's worse than a recipe! It's very long-winded!

That's like, hey, instead of going a mile down the road to my house, let's circle the globe and come at it from the other side.
 
2014-04-08 01:24:25 PM  
Is lasagna really the complicated that you even need a recipe?  Cheese and noodles in layers.  Everything else is optional, mix and match as it pleases you.
 
2014-04-08 01:26:07 PM  
How is Lasaggny formed?
How chizze get malted?
 
2014-04-08 01:28:17 PM  
How to Cook Without a Recipe:

1) Read a recipe.
2) Remember the steps.
3) Throw away the recipe.
4) Gather about 90% of the ingredients because you forgot a few.
5) Start cooking based on a vague recollection of the recipe.
6) Wait, was that 1 tsp of salt or 1 Tbsp? Whatever, I'll wing it.
7) Drink some wine.
8) Stir.
9) Drink more wine.
10) Take uninspiring pan of glop off the stove and put on a plate.
11) Taste it and hork because it's too salty.
12) Throw it out and drink the rest of the wine.
 
2014-04-08 01:44:08 PM  
Not bad, not bad. I'll look forward to Yahoo's follow-up piece, entitled (loosely) "How to do X without reading any instructions."
 
2014-04-08 02:12:44 PM  
I guess technically it's always a recipe of sorts. I never cook from a recipe card tho it makes for a good shopping list. But after I go to the market it will be different depending on what is the freshest stuff they have and my mood/cravings. It's more of a guideline.
 
2014-04-08 02:25:13 PM  
Let's have spontaneous fun - and here's how!
 
2014-04-08 02:26:25 PM  
Does it start with semolina flour?
 
2014-04-08 02:29:38 PM  
"How to become an irrelevant tech company."
 
2014-04-08 02:30:16 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Does it start with semolina flour?


Nasty stuff.  I got semolina once from bad chicken salad....
 
2014-04-08 02:30:56 PM  
No, it's an algorithm. Duh.
 
2014-04-08 02:31:12 PM  
Read the directions on the side of Stouffer's box?
 
2014-04-08 02:31:37 PM  
It's only authentic Italian food if Giada cooks it. I need the proper pronunciation of the ingredients.
 
2014-04-08 02:32:17 PM  

firemanbuck: Marcus Aurelius: Does it start with semolina flour?

Nasty stuff.  I got semolina once from bad chicken salad....


LOL
 
2014-04-08 02:34:34 PM  
lh3.ggpht.com

Garfield hates your blog...and Mondays.
 
2014-04-08 02:35:09 PM  

DubyaHater: It's only authentic Italian food if Giada cooks it. I need the proper pronunciation of the ingredients.


i don't know if it's a regional thing or what, but i spent nearly 5 months in italy and never heard things pronounced the way she pronounces them
 
2014-04-08 02:36:51 PM  
I have old "receipt" books from the 15th through 18th centuries whose recipes have fewer instructions and less guidance on ingredients than this "non-recipe"
 
2014-04-08 02:37:43 PM  
buy a Stouffers
 
2014-04-08 02:38:24 PM  
2. Make your béchamel. Heat some butter...

Whoa, whoa, slow down there skippy.  I think I need to write this down for future reference
 
2014-04-08 02:40:57 PM  
If this were a Huffington Post article, it would have a titled like "The way you've been doing lasagna is all wrong", "This is the way you MUST do lasagna", or "This lasagna recipe is a game changer".

/Anyone else ever been noticing that pattern over there
 
2014-04-08 02:42:05 PM  

firemanbuck: Marcus Aurelius: Does it start with semolina flour?

Nasty stuff.  I got semolina once from bad chicken salad....


No, Semolina is a country in Africa.
 
2014-04-08 02:42:33 PM  

EvilEgg: Is lasagna really the complicated that you even need a recipe?  Cheese and noodles in layers.  Everything else is optional, mix and match as it pleases you.


Apparently it is, for example, I never knew that I was supposed to use flour in my lasagna, or butter.

Make your béchamel. Heat some butter in a large pan until melted (we used 1 stick). Whisk in an equal amount of flour - if you used 8 tablespoons of butter, add 8 tablespoons of flour

WTF kind of weird ass lasagna is this? Béchamel is a French sauce, why are you putting a French sauce in an Italian dish?
 
2014-04-08 02:46:01 PM  
Nothing in this article can be trusted, as they made a Garfield joke AND linked to a strip.

LeroyB: firemanbuck: Marcus Aurelius: Does it start with semolina flour?

Nasty stuff.  I got semolina once from bad chicken salad....

No, Semolina is a country in Africa.


No, semolina is a nickname for money.
 
2014-04-08 02:47:06 PM  

ten foiled hats: Read the directions on the side of Stouffer's box?


She has that tattooed there??

/ Kinda like the kid with the McDonald's receipt I suppose.
 
2014-04-08 02:48:28 PM  

Gordian Cipher: How to Cook Without a Recipe:

1) Read a recipe.
2) Remember the steps.
3) Throw away the recipe.
4) Gather about 90% of the ingredients because you forgot a few.
5) Start cooking based on a vague recollection of the recipe.
6) Wait, was that 1 tsp of salt or 1 Tbsp? Whatever, I'll wing it.
7) Drink some wine.
8) Stir.
9) Drink more wine.
10) Take uninspiring pan of glop off the stove and put on a plate.
11) Taste it and hork because it's too salty.
12) Throw it out and drink the rest of the wine.


There are a few very common techniques to fixing just about anything, it's not hard to fix something without a recipe. You would have to be an idiot to put too much salt in a dish. Liquids reduce, different ingredients already have salt in them, and most things can wait to be salted until later. It's not rocket science.
 
2014-04-08 02:48:51 PM  
It sounds easier than making an apple pie from scratch.
 
2014-04-08 02:49:50 PM  

EvilEgg: Is lasagna really the complicated that you even need a recipe?  Cheese and noodles in layers.  Everything else is optional, mix and match as it pleases you.


Sauce of some kind would be nice, now wouldn't it? And then you also have to cook it right.

So no, it's not really just "cheese and noodles". That is called macaroni and cheese.

And guess what? Even mac and cheese takes a recipe to get right. Weird how that works out.
 
2014-04-08 02:50:29 PM  
Hmm, without a recipe?  How about bang subby's mom and then tell her to "go make me a farking lasagna"?
 
2014-04-08 02:51:46 PM  
gamemoir.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-08 02:52:26 PM  
rec·i·pe
ˈresəˌpē/
noun
1.  a set of instructions for preparing a particular dish, including a list of the ingredients required.
 
2014-04-08 02:52:45 PM  
For you new kids, this thread is what Fark used to be like all the time. Pointless content cleverly mocked.
 
2014-04-08 02:52:51 PM  

That Guy Jeff: Gordian Cipher: How to Cook Without a Recipe:

1) Read a recipe.
2) Remember the steps.
3) Throw away the recipe.
4) Gather about 90% of the ingredients because you forgot a few.
5) Start cooking based on a vague recollection of the recipe.
6) Wait, was that 1 tsp of salt or 1 Tbsp? Whatever, I'll wing it.
7) Drink some wine.
8) Stir.
9) Drink more wine.
10) Take uninspiring pan of glop off the stove and put on a plate.
11) Taste it and hork because it's too salty.
12) Throw it out and drink the rest of the wine.

There are a few very common techniques to fixing just about anything, it's not hard to fix something without a recipe. You would have to be an idiot to put too much salt in a dish. Liquids reduce, different ingredients already have salt in them, and most things can wait to be salted until later. It's not rocket science.


I think he just wanted to drink the wine.
 
2014-04-08 02:53:45 PM  

anuran: I have old "receipt" books from the 15th through 18th centuries whose recipes have fewer instructions and less guidance on ingredients than this "non-recipe"


Why are there recipes written in a ledger from 300 years ago?
 
2014-04-08 02:54:13 PM  

Mikey1969: EvilEgg: Is lasagna really the complicated that you even need a recipe?  Cheese and noodles in layers.  Everything else is optional, mix and match as it pleases you.

Sauce of some kind would be nice, now wouldn't it? And then you also have to cook it right.

So no, it's not really just "cheese and noodles". That is called macaroni and cheese.

And guess what? Even mac and cheese takes a recipe to get right. Weird how that works out.


All optional.  Make a white lasagna.  As long as you have layered cheese and noodles it's lasagna, it may not be very good lasagna, but it is still lasagna.
 
2014-04-08 02:58:17 PM  
We can put it in this book:
img.fark.net

/Is actually an informative book
 
2014-04-08 03:00:26 PM  

bikerbob59: ten foiled hats: Read the directions on the side of Stouffer's box?

She has that tattooed there??

/ Kinda like the kid with the McDonald's receipt I suppose.


Yeah, she did it with some India ink when she was like sixteen or so.  It's faded quite a bit since then, obviously, but you can make it out.

/I'd first recommend having some of the wine being passed around up-thread, of course
 
2014-04-08 03:00:53 PM  

lordargent: EvilEgg: Is lasagna really the complicated that you even need a recipe?  Cheese and noodles in layers.  Everything else is optional, mix and match as it pleases you.

Apparently it is, for example, I never knew that I was supposed to use flour in my lasagna, or butter.

Make your béchamel. Heat some butter in a large pan until melted (we used 1 stick). Whisk in an equal amount of flour - if you used 8 tablespoons of butter, add 8 tablespoons of flour

WTF kind of weird ass lasagna is this? Béchamel is a French sauce, why are you putting a French sauce in an Italian dish?


Maybe they decided halfway through to make pastitsio instead.....

/which is Greek, i know
 
2014-04-08 03:03:40 PM  

palelizard: Nothing in this article can be trusted, as they made a Garfield joke AND linked to a strip.

LeroyB: firemanbuck: Marcus Aurelius: Does it start with semolina flour?

Nasty stuff.  I got semolina once from bad chicken salad....

No, Semolina is a country in Africa.

No, semolina is a nickname for money.


No, semolina is what I sprayed all over subby's mom's face, at the end of the gangbang.
 
2014-04-08 03:07:55 PM  

LeroyB: firemanbuck: Marcus Aurelius: Does it start with semolina flour?

Nasty stuff.  I got semolina once from bad chicken salad....

No, Semolina is a country in Africa.


I thought it was a town in Alabama.
 
2014-04-08 03:08:56 PM  

bikerbob59: That Guy Jeff: Gordian Cipher: How to Cook Without a Recipe:

1) Read a recipe.
2) Remember the steps.
3) Throw away the recipe.
4) Gather about 90% of the ingredients because you forgot a few.
5) Start cooking based on a vague recollection of the recipe.
6) Wait, was that 1 tsp of salt or 1 Tbsp? Whatever, I'll wing it.
7) Drink some wine.
8) Stir.
9) Drink more wine.
10) Take uninspiring pan of glop off the stove and put on a plate.
11) Taste it and hork because it's too salty.
12) Throw it out and drink the rest of the wine.

There are a few very common techniques to fixing just about anything, it's not hard to fix something without a recipe. You would have to be an idiot to put too much salt in a dish. Liquids reduce, different ingredients already have salt in them, and most things can wait to be salted until later. It's not rocket science.

I think he just wanted to drink the wine.


Reminds me of P.J. O'Rourke's "Decorating with Alcohol" from the Bachelor Home Companion

1. Start with an empty room.
2. Take a drink. See, looks better already!
3. Have another drink. This is one damn good-lookin' room!
4. Have another drink. I sreally love what you've donem with the plashce!

/paraphrased
 
2014-04-08 03:12:01 PM  

EvilEgg: Mikey1969: EvilEgg: Is lasagna really the complicated that you even need a recipe?  Cheese and noodles in layers.  Everything else is optional, mix and match as it pleases you.

Sauce of some kind would be nice, now wouldn't it? And then you also have to cook it right.

So no, it's not really just "cheese and noodles". That is called macaroni and cheese.

And guess what? Even mac and cheese takes a recipe to get right. Weird how that works out.

All optional.  Make a white lasagna.  As long as you have layered cheese and noodles it's lasagna, it may not be very good lasagna, but it is still lasagna.


No, it's mac and cheese with different noodles. I mean, you don't even need the cheese, since 'lasagna' is actually the name of the pasta.
 
2014-04-08 03:13:06 PM  

Mighty Aswan: LeroyB: firemanbuck: Marcus Aurelius: Does it start with semolina flour?

Nasty stuff.  I got semolina once from bad chicken salad....

No, Semolina is a country in Africa.

I thought it was a town in Alabama.


It's what you flip eggs with.
 
2014-04-08 03:17:38 PM  

ten foiled hats: Mighty Aswan: LeroyB: firemanbuck: Marcus Aurelius: Does it start with semolina flour?

Nasty stuff.  I got semolina once from bad chicken salad....

No, Semolina is a country in Africa.

I thought it was a town in Alabama.

It's what you flip eggs with.


No, that's a Latvia.
 
2014-04-08 03:23:21 PM  
And here I thought "Lass on ya" was what the Irish ate.
 
2014-04-08 03:24:33 PM  

lordargent: EvilEgg: Is lasagna really the complicated that you even need a recipe?  Cheese and noodles in layers.  Everything else is optional, mix and match as it pleases you.

Apparently it is, for example, I never knew that I was supposed to use flour in my lasagna, or butter.

Make your béchamel. Heat some butter in a large pan until melted (we used 1 stick). Whisk in an equal amount of flour - if you used 8 tablespoons of butter, add 8 tablespoons of flour

WTF kind of weird ass lasagna is this? Béchamel is a French sauce, why are you putting a French sauce in an Italian dish?


Why not?

French men have been doing that for years.

/or at least trying
//unless they're gay
///NTTAWWT
 
2014-04-08 03:26:54 PM  
So, a meta-recipe is not a recipe?

How about "baked pasta casserole"

Ingredients: pasta, sauce, cheese (optional), other ingredients (optional)

Instructions: combine ingredients and bake. You may want to arrange things so that there are distinct layers of ingredients and the top browns somewhat and forms a crust.

lordargent: WTF kind of weird ass lasagna is this? Béchamel is a French sauce, why are you putting a French sauce in an Italian dish?


Greek/Mediterranean  baked casseroles use it in non-pasta dishes such as Moussaka
upload.wikimedia.org
and lasagna analogs such as Pastitsio
upload.wikimedia.org

Many American baked noodle casserole dishes, such as Turkey Tetrazzini  use Cream of mushroom soup which is essentially a mushroom flavored Béchamel  .
 
2014-04-08 03:31:13 PM  
global3.memecdn.com

lasagna/apple pie, they all start from the same simple place...
 
2014-04-08 03:38:22 PM  

lordargent: Béchamel is a French sauce, why are you putting a French sauce in an Italian dish?


It's just "white sauce"; it shows up in lots of European cuisines. Béchamel is the standard name for it among cooks because Escoffier. But it's been a standard way to incorporate dairy into lasagna for centuries.
 
2014-04-08 03:38:46 PM  

lordargent: EvilEgg: Is lasagna really the complicated that you even need a recipe?  Cheese and noodles in layers.  Everything else is optional, mix and match as it pleases you.

Apparently it is, for example, I never knew that I was supposed to use flour in my lasagna, or butter.

Make your béchamel. Heat some butter in a large pan until melted (we used 1 stick). Whisk in an equal amount of flour - if you used 8 tablespoons of butter, add 8 tablespoons of flour

WTF kind of weird ass lasagna is this? Béchamel is a French sauce, why are you putting a French sauce in an Italian dish?


Calm down. Italians would still think tomatoes were poisonous if Marco Polio hadn't brought back asbestos oven gloves from Chiner.

I'm making a mac and cheese this weekend, and here's a bit of the recipe:

Boil Mac and shock it when it is pre-al dente.
Make a cheese sauce with ricotta and feta cheese, using pureed onions and garlic and adding at the last minute, chopped clean leaf spinach and bits of broccoli florettes.
Pinch of white pepper. Mix and bake with some cubed, browned in garlic olive oil mixed in with bits of ham done up in hot garlic oil.
Kind of a Spanikopita cordon Bleu.

Fuuuuuuzhun.
 
2014-04-08 03:40:28 PM  

cyberspacedout: It sounds easier than making an apple pie from scratch.


argggh. sorry i missed your comment. *shakes tiny fist*


also, if anybody particularly likes recipes that have lots of pictures, check out the pioneer woman cookbooks. i guarantee you it has a picture of every. single. step. just in case you don't know what something looks like while it is being stirred, there will be a picture there of that too.
 
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