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(The Register)   $3.99 Android app shoots to the top of Google Play sales charts despite having absolutely no functionality at all   (theregister.co.uk) divider line 53
    More: Amusing, Google Play, Google, Android Phone, anti-virus, charts, shootings  
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5560 clicks; posted to Geek » on 08 Apr 2014 at 2:57 AM (15 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-07 11:40:51 PM
You can do anything at zombo.com.
 
2014-04-07 11:41:59 PM
and this is why the rest of us who know wtf we're doing use an iOS device. none of this BS...
 
2014-04-07 11:43:05 PM
In other words it worked as well as any other Anti-virus product,....and the DHS, and the TSA and the NSA....
 
2014-04-08 12:00:39 AM
So will they be offering refunds?
 
2014-04-08 12:18:21 AM

netringer: In other words it worked as well as any other Anti-virus product,....and the DHS, and the TSA and the NSA....


no, it didn't drain batteries as much as a real AV app. So it's got that going for it.
 
2014-04-08 12:33:53 AM
i950.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-08 12:37:21 AM

Livingroom: and this is why the rest of us who know wtf we're doing use an iOS device. none of this BS...


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-04-08 02:05:58 AM

Confabulat: You can do anything at zombo.com.


Ha! I just checked and there is a Zombocom app for iOS.
 
2014-04-08 03:05:55 AM

Livingroom: and this is why the rest of us who know wtf we're doing use an iOS device. none of this BS...


...and this is the problem with the rest of us who think a platform is capable of protecting us.

Mouth-breathers are mouth-breathers regardless of their marketing addiction.
 
2014-04-08 03:11:32 AM

Livingroom: and this is why the rest of us who know wtf we're doing use an iOS device. none of this BS...


If you're knowing what the fark you're doing, why are you paying more for a shiatty OS, curated by a company that doesn't allow you to install anything you want?

Hey, here's an App, ignore the 99 other ones. Because you know what you're doing...


Oh hey, here's 100 different app stores. Well, not for you, you know what you're doing.


Hey, everyone can see you know what you're doing when you flash out that breaks a lot thing that costs twice as much.

But don't worry, you know what you're doing along with alot of other people, so there's alot of stores just to help you keep your know what you're doing working.
 
2014-04-08 03:12:58 AM

Theaetetus: Livingroom: and this is why the rest of us who know wtf we're doing use an iOS device. none of this BS...

[upload.wikimedia.org image 266x196]


Ouch, I forgot that one.
 
2014-04-08 03:17:00 AM

Theaetetus: Livingroom: and this is why the rest of us who know wtf we're doing use an iOS device. none of this BS...

[upload.wikimedia.org image 266x196]


I seen a $399.99 Aura reader on WP
 
2014-04-08 03:20:13 AM

drjekel_mrhyde: Theaetetus: Livingroom: and this is why the rest of us who know wtf we're doing use an iOS device. none of this BS...

[upload.wikimedia.org image 266x196]

I seen a $399.99 Aura reader on WP


My bad it's $499 http://www.windowsphone.com/en-us/store/app/your-lucky-numbers-aura-r e ader/df358bc3-b650-4f84-af4e-7e6780cca669
 
2014-04-08 03:43:30 AM
img.fark.net

please kill me
 
2014-04-08 03:45:11 AM

nulluspixiusdemonica: Mouth-breathers are mouth-breathers regardless of their marketing addiction.


While this is fundamentally true, this sort of app is amongst the benefits of the curated app store approach.
 
2014-04-08 04:15:19 AM
Those meddling kids.
 
2014-04-08 04:38:52 AM

Ivo Shandor: Confabulat: You can do anything at zombo.com.

Ha! I just checked and there is a Zombocom app for iOS.


Google Play has it for Android. Thanks for prompting me to check.
 
2014-04-08 04:41:33 AM
Once the offices open Tuesday Morning, and tech Farkers are at what they euphemistically call "work", this should become a real popcorn thread. I love how worked up neckbeards get about this shiat.
 
2014-04-08 04:45:20 AM

studebaker hoch: [img.fark.net image 201x251]

please kill me


I got a 4096. Not much point in playing after that.
 
2014-04-08 05:31:44 AM

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: studebaker hoch: [img.fark.net image 201x251]

please kill me

I got a 4096. Not much point in playing after that.


I've managed an 8192, and I still can't quit the damn thing
 
2014-04-08 05:39:13 AM

DammitIForgotMyLogin: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: studebaker hoch: [img.fark.net image 201x251]

please kill me

I got a 4096. Not much point in playing after that.

I've managed an 8192, and I still can't quit the damn thing



Oh great, I was assuming 8192 wasn't possible. Hmmm..
 
2014-04-08 05:50:41 AM
Monkeyfark Ridiculous:  Oh great, I was assuming 8192 wasn't possible. Hmmm..

i.imgur.com

I suspect 16384 is possible, if you're very lucky with the way the numbers appear
 
2014-04-08 05:57:51 AM
I expect Zuckerberg to offer a billion dollars for the company any minute now
 
2014-04-08 06:02:34 AM
I like how they are making it out to be some failing on the part of Google that this was allowed to be sold. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that there is so much software being submitted at this point it just isn't feasible to have every item checked by humans. You run it through some automatic checks for harmful behavior and if none is found then it gets marked as allowed in the store. This software doesn't do anything so technically it isn't harmful to the users device.

The users wallet is their own problem if they are dumb enough to pay for anti virus software on a platform with no true viruii. Yes, there has been malware made for Android but it all requires a user to intentionally install it. That isn't a virus any more than messing a with a persons facebook account is hacking when in reality they left it logged in. The consequences may not be what the user wanted but they are still their own fault.
 
2014-04-08 06:05:31 AM

Livingroom: and this is why the rest of us who know wtf we're doing use an iOS device. none of this BS...


For a Buck on the iApp store, you can get  FatBurner2k.An application that makes your iDevice vibrate while you set it on your gut, to evaporate fat.

For 4 dollars, you can get Hair Clinic, an app that claims to grow hair by producing noise.

/So much for no BS
 
2014-04-08 06:12:30 AM
fluffy2097:  For 4 dollars, you can get Hair Clinic, an app that claims to grow hair by producing noise.

That works.  I've been using an iPhone for a couple of years and I got hair growing outta my farking ears now.
 
2014-04-08 06:35:14 AM

Livingroom: and this is why the rest of us who know wtf we're doing use an iOS device. none of this BS...


Less RAM, less storage, smaller lower resolution screen, same functionality for only double the price! Sweet.
 
2014-04-08 07:08:58 AM
P.T. "This Way To The Egress" Barnum would've had tears of joy in his eyes.
 
2014-04-08 07:18:08 AM
Android users, farking clueless.
/that is what they think open is better
 
2014-04-08 08:01:07 AM
fluffy2097:
For a Buck on the iApp store, you can get FatBurner2k.An application that makes your iDevice vibrate while you set it on your gut, to evaporate fat.

Two things:
First, the app was an intentional joke. It was in the "Entertainment" of the app store, and the description was obviously silly.
Second, it's not even available any more, and hasn't been for years.

For 4 dollars, you can get Hair Clinic, an app that claims to grow hair by producing noise.

Well, you could buy that app - five years ago. It hasn't been available since 2009.
 
2014-04-08 08:25:41 AM
Why is The Register citing itself?

Livingroom: and this is why the rest of us who know wtf we're doing use an iOS device. none of this BS...


If you know what you're doing why aren't you allowed to change the batteries?

/ awful lot of weak trollsauce in this thread
 
2014-04-08 08:26:07 AM

cirby: fluffy2097:
For a Buck on the iApp store, you can get FatBurner2k.An application that makes your iDevice vibrate while you set it on your gut, to evaporate fat.

Two things:
First, the app was an intentional joke. It was in the "Entertainment" of the app store, and the description was obviously silly.
Second, it's not even available any more, and hasn't been for years.

For 4 dollars, you can get Hair Clinic, an app that claims to grow hair by producing noise.

Well, you could buy that app - five years ago. It hasn't been available since 2009.


So in both cases, deceptive apps got on and were then removed. What's the difference again?
 
2014-04-08 08:37:53 AM
"Play" is the stupidest name for an app store ever.
 
2014-04-08 09:11:08 AM
Bot android and IOS have people using them that don't have a clue what they are doing and fall for stupid crap like this. To say, that more people on IOS know what they are doing is pretty false from what I have seen. I am the go to guy for setting up smart phones where I work, and for the most part, people that have any technical proficiency use android, while people that are not so tech savy stick to iPhone. Even in my shop, between the programmers and tech support, there are 10 android phones, 2 iPhones, and one windows phone. The 2 iPhone users are quite literally gay hipsters in every sense of the word.(to feed the stereotype)
 
2014-04-08 09:13:29 AM

cirby: Well, you could buy that app - five years ago. It hasn't been available since 2009.


Well you could have bought this fake anti-virus but it hasn't been available since yesterday.  So to you once a year or so goes by slates get wiped clean?
 
2014-04-08 09:16:29 AM

Dafuq: Bot android and IOS have people using them that don't have a clue what they are doing and fall for stupid crap like this. To say, that more people on IOS know what they are doing is pretty false from what I have seen. I am the go to guy for setting up smart phones where I work, and for the most part, people that have any technical proficiency use android, while people that are not so tech savy stick to iPhone. Even in my shop, between the programmers and tech support, there are 10 android phones, 2 iPhones, and one windows phone. The 2 iPhone users are quite literally gay hipsters in every sense of the word.(to feed the stereotype)


That's what I normally see.  We had someone with an iPhone come down because the App Store was uninstalled, here it was dragged into a "folder" (or whatever you apple people call it) on their "launcher".

After having to find it why do you guys like that layout?  I don't get it who wants to see all of their icons all the time?  I love the Android UI of having launcher screens then an entire app drawer that you can find any app that's installed very easily.
 
2014-04-08 09:20:13 AM
So are you telling me I should have gone with the $8 antivirus ap?
 
2014-04-08 09:21:49 AM
Yankees Team Gynecologist:
So in both cases, deceptive apps got on and were then removed. What's the difference again?

Actually, in one case, a deceptive app got on, and in the other, a mildly funny app got on.

And in neither case did those apps make the top of the sales list...

TNel:
Well you could have bought this fake anti-virus but it hasn't been available since yesterday. So to you once a year or so goes by slates get wiped clean?

I figure that once FIVE years go by, and one deceptive app is off the market, that's pretty much it, yeah. If you have to go back five years to find a trivial and useless app that's not nearly as bad as the top-selling app for another platform, there's a little clue for you. The fake Android antivirus app also got a 4.7 out of 5 rating and sold over 10,000 copies, while the fake iPhone hair-growing app got bad reviews and trivial sales.

The "fat burner" app was a joke, sold as such.
 
2014-04-08 09:25:26 AM
Is it another Kardashian?
 
2014-04-08 09:34:33 AM
The app store is a festering shiathole flea market.. If it isn't freemium bullshiat forced down your thoughts it is half baked apps coded by a team of nigerians locked in a basement.
 
2014-04-08 09:35:18 AM

styckx: The app store is a festering shiathole flea market.. If it isn't freemium bullshiat forced down your thoughts it is half baked apps coded by a team of nigerians locked in a basement.


*throats, or
 
2014-04-08 09:35:30 AM

cirby: I figure that once FIVE years go by, and one deceptive app is off the market, that's pretty much it, yeah. If you have to go back five years to find a trivial and useless app that's not nearly as bad as the top-selling app for another platform, there's a little clue for you. The fake Android antivirus app also got a 4.7 out of 5 rating and sold over 10,000 copies, while the fake iPhone hair-growing app got bad reviews and trivial sales.

The "fat burner" app was a joke, sold as such.


So you are telling me there is no useless apps on the iOS appstore?
 
2014-04-08 09:45:22 AM

TNel: So you are telling me there is no useless apps on the iOS appstore?


here I'll do a bit of homework for you.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/cry-translator/id332636983?mt=8
 
2014-04-08 10:30:04 AM

Ivo Shandor: Confabulat: You can do anything at zombo.com.

Ha! I just checked and there is a Zombocom app for iOS.


So, what can you do with it?
 
2014-04-08 10:33:01 AM

Saiga410: So are you telling me I should have gone with the $8 antivirus ap?


I'm thinking that developing server applications was a limiting career choice.
 
2014-04-08 10:43:13 AM
How about a $1000 IOS app that does nothing. And people bought it.
 
2014-04-08 10:47:38 AM

CtrlAltDestroy: How about a $1000 IOS app that does nothing. And people bought it.


But that was in the past man.
 
2014-04-08 11:38:39 AM
 
2014-04-08 01:52:38 PM
2048 doesn't have a limit.  Computer programs have played to insane levels:

From stack overflow:

i.stack.imgur.com
(no mortal did this)


I can hit 2048 about every third game.  I've come within a couple moves of 4096.

/ After 4096 I think I'll hang it up.

// I can quit anytime I want.
 
2014-04-08 02:05:03 PM

studebaker hoch: please kill me


Now try it with Doge.
 
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