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(New York Daily News)   If at first you don't succeed, try again: Man who unsuccessfully tried to hang himself in a hotel room decides to wait a day, then jumps off the 9th floor, narrowly missing pedestrians   (nydailynews.com) divider line 45
    More: Scary, Midtown  
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3793 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Apr 2014 at 2:47 AM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-07 11:43:48 PM
Here's a fun fact: I am out of fun facts. Please contact the developer and ask him to add more.
 
2014-04-07 11:55:11 PM
It is in the humble opinion of this narrator that this is not just "something that happened." This cannot be "one of those things. " This, please, cannot be that. This was not just a matter of chance. No. These strange things happen all the time.
 
2014-04-08 12:38:54 AM
He was staying in one of these:

Pod Hotels: Stylish & Hip Budget Hotel Rooms
 
2014-04-08 02:38:09 AM
Maybe if he could've held on for one more day, things would've gone his way. Held on for one more day.
 
2014-04-08 02:41:37 AM
"Now I will destroy the whole world"
 
2014-04-08 02:50:05 AM
Haven't pedestrians been killed by jumpers? I think I read that on here.
 
2014-04-08 02:50:57 AM
coreyswrite.com
 
2014-04-08 02:53:34 AM
Well. Good for him.
 
2014-04-08 03:01:37 AM
"He tried to commit suicide last night," the hotel employee said. "We found him with a belt around his neck. We sent him to the hospital, but they let him out."

WTF? someone had better be fired for that shiat.
 
2014-04-08 03:05:30 AM
"He almost hit a guy walking on the sidewalk," Chris Erario, a UPS deliveryman, said of the incident that occurred about 1:10 p.m. "He jumped back and shouted, 'What the hell?'"

Next week: UPS deliveryman dismissed for getting company name in article about suicide.
 
2014-04-08 03:05:57 AM
C'mon, man. If you were that committed you could have at least tried for "The Awesome".

/Don't look it up.
 
2014-04-08 03:13:40 AM
Which bank?
 
2014-04-08 03:14:57 AM
"I heard a giant pop," Erario said. "I never heard anything like it before..."

Ewwww... I'd hate to be the first ones on the scene to have to deal with a human who managed to make themselves go "pop".
 
2014-04-08 03:17:39 AM

Mr. Ekshun: C'mon, man. If you were that committed you could have at least tried for "The Awesome".

/Don't look it up.


Very nice. "You have cleft your pelvis in twain!"
 
2014-04-08 03:28:51 AM

log_jammin: "He tried to commit suicide last night," the hotel employee said. "We found him with a belt around his neck. We sent him to the hospital, but they let him out."

WTF? someone had better be fired for that shiat.


This...
 
2014-04-08 03:30:49 AM

Truther: log_jammin: "He tried to commit suicide last night," the hotel employee said. "We found him with a belt around his neck. We sent him to the hospital, but they let him out."

WTF? someone had better be fired for that shiat.

This...


Scroll down the article. The source says that they took him to a hospital, but he was released.

However I call the whole article into question due to the usage of the term "cops" instead of "police." That's not how a journalist writes.
 
2014-04-08 03:45:43 AM

RoyBatty: Which bank?


All of them
 
2014-04-08 03:56:44 AM

Securitywyrm: Scroll down the article. The source says that they took him to a hospital, but he was released.


I, uh....have that quote in my comment.
 
2014-04-08 04:12:54 AM
Guerilla filming the Mad Men finale?
 
2014-04-08 05:09:00 AM

BrundleFlyForAWhiteGuy: "I heard a giant pop," Erario said. "I never heard anything like it before..."

Ewwww... I'd hate to be the first ones on the scene to have to deal with a human who managed to make themselves go "pop".


PTSD I'm sure.
 
2014-04-08 05:13:18 AM

Twist2005: Haven't pedestrians been killed by jumpers?


Not if they use jumper cables.
 
2014-04-08 06:15:28 AM
Well, the weather forecast called for it.....

c0903002.cdn.cloudfiles.rackspacecloud.com


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5aZJBLAu1E
 
2014-04-08 06:39:54 AM
What an asshole. You want to off yourself, fine. Don't do it in a way that you won't take some innocent person with you, you cock. The world is probably a better place without this selfish dick in it.
 
2014-04-08 06:42:18 AM

Twist2005: Haven't pedestrians been killed by jumpers? I think I read that on here.


Yup, it's happened a few times. In a couple of cases [video, SFW], the suicidal shiathead survived, and the pedestrian didn't.

A distant relative of mine was killed when someone jumped off the Empire State Building and landed on him.

/true story
//or so they told me
///Hmmm... can't find it on the Web, so maybe not
 
2014-04-08 06:46:14 AM
If only he'd had Access to a firearm so he could kill himself in a manner that didn't put others in danger.
 
2014-04-08 06:58:57 AM
So do people go splat or not?  How high do you have to jump to go splat?

Remember that picture of that dead jumper lady that looked like she was happy and sleeping?  How far did she drop from to not go splat?  Or was it because of the car roof?  But weren't cars made of actual steel back then so shouldn't she still would have gone splat if she jumped from high enough?
 
2014-04-08 07:03:06 AM
open a jump lane, problem solved.

or we good be humane and allow doctors to help people check out discretely.
 
2014-04-08 07:06:23 AM

abhorrent1: What an asshole. You want to off yourself, fine. Don't do it in a way that you won't take some innocent person with you, you cock. The world is probably a better place without this selfish dick in it.


You should precede your jump with a barrage of water balloons or something.

Since the body contains so much water, humans are like large water balloons - with bones.
 
2014-04-08 07:14:48 AM
i26.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-08 07:18:46 AM
Isn't suicide illegal in Manhattan?  If it is, aren't they suppose to take him into custody after a suicide attempt?  Seems like a good reason for that would be to make someone legally accountable for getting this guy some help.  Not, we took away his ability to make rope, so he's fine.
 
2014-04-08 07:24:31 AM

Twist2005: Haven't pedestrians been killed by jumpers? I think I read that on here.


www.replikultes.net

Amandine Poulain?
 
2014-04-08 07:36:35 AM
www.jonco48.com
 
2014-04-08 08:08:26 AM

Securitywyrm: Truther: log_jammin: "He tried to commit suicide last night," the hotel employee said. "We found him with a belt around his neck. We sent him to the hospital, but they let him out."

WTF? someone had better be fired for that shiat.

This...

Scroll down the article. The source says that they took him to a hospital, but he was released.

However I call the whole article into question due to the usage of the term "cops" instead of "police." That's not how a journalist writes.


What does journalism have to do with The Daily News?
 
2014-04-08 08:09:51 AM

gfid: Since the body contains so much water, humans are like large water balloons - with bones.


img3.wikia.nocookie.net

Ugly bags of mostly water... And, um, bones!
 
2014-04-08 08:31:33 AM

abhorrent1: What an asshole. You want to off yourself, fine. Don't do it in a way that you won't take some innocent person with you, you cock. The world is probably a better place without this selfish dick in it.


You said penis twice.
 
2014-04-08 08:56:38 AM
Not everyone can make an impact in New York City.
 
2014-04-08 09:05:11 AM
epicdemotivational.com
 
2014-04-08 09:26:46 AM

Onkel Buck: [i26.photobucket.com image 225x320]


Jer-ry! Jer-ry!

/Thought I was the only one who saw that movie.
 
2014-04-08 09:42:10 AM

kokomo61: Onkel Buck: [i26.photobucket.com image 225x320]

Jer-ry! Jer-ry!

/Thought I was the only one who saw that movie.


I saw it a very long time ago when i was kid and we had a pirate box for ON Cable television. I just always remembered it for some reason, especially the beginning where you as the viewer get to fall to the pavement with him
 
2014-04-08 12:30:05 PM

RoyBatty: Which bank?


no kidding

btw - sucks for the UPS guy whose truck is yellow-taped as part of te crime scene
 
2014-04-08 12:59:26 PM

Securitywyrm: However I call the whole article into question due to the usage of the term "cops" instead of "police." That's not how a journalist writes.


What is this "journalist" thing of which you speak?
 
2014-04-08 01:42:22 PM

FullMetalPanda: So do people go splat or not?  How high do you have to jump to go splat?

Remember that picture of that dead jumper lady that looked like she was happy and sleeping?  How far did she drop from to not go splat?  Or was it because of the car roof?  But weren't cars made of actual steel back then so shouldn't she still would have gone splat if she jumped from high enough?


The only true "splats" I know of are from those that had to jump from the World Trade Center in 2001. Otherwise, most of the "splat" happens inside the body.

This is why I think we should have euthanasia laws. If you're that distressed, uncomfortable and unhappy, well, you should be allowed to leave. Without the disturbing splat.
 
2014-04-08 02:38:48 PM
If I feel the need to make a spectacle and jump from a roof, I'm aiming for people.

Or a chihuahua.
 
2014-04-09 02:39:17 AM

FullMetalPanda: So do people go splat or not?  How high do you have to jump to go splat?

Remember that picture of that dead jumper lady that looked like she was happy and sleeping?  How far did she drop from to not go splat?  Or was it because of the car roof?  But weren't cars made of actual steel back then so shouldn't she still would have gone splat if she jumped from high enough?


It's the luck of the fall, I guess.
 
2014-04-09 08:22:17 AM

tb tibbles: FullMetalPanda: So do people go splat or not?  How high do you have to jump to go splat?

Remember that picture of that dead jumper lady that looked like she was happy and sleeping?  How far did she drop from to not go splat?  Or was it because of the car roof?  But weren't cars made of actual steel back then so shouldn't she still would have gone splat if she jumped from high enough?

It's the luck of the fall, I guess.


Cars have a lot of give in their construction, even steel ones, especially in the roof/top area. See what happens when a tree falls on a car roof. Since the metal gets bent in, it's absorbing rather than reflecting the impact forces, so less apparent damage is done to the body than if it struck a non-compressible surface.
 
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