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(Metro)   Subby doesn't know if trying to set a world record with the world's smallest parachute is such a bright idea but this guy just pulled it off with one the size of a bed sheet   (metro.co.uk) divider line 39
    More: Scary, Ernesto Gainza  
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7998 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Apr 2014 at 9:11 PM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-07 07:39:04 PM  
Before 911, we used to fly over Disney Word and drop bunches of those little green parachute guys from the plane.

Wolverines!!!!
 
2014-04-07 07:57:40 PM  
This definitely strikes me as one of the dumber world records out there.  What happens when someone breaks the record AND shatters both their legs?  Does that count?
 
2014-04-07 09:16:48 PM  
Must be a bored rich biatch to perform such inane things at such expense
 
2014-04-07 09:17:27 PM  
Some day I'll set the record for the biggest. It'll be big enough to hide the sky so I don't lose my shiat.

/simultaneously I'll unveil my own invention
//it's a parachute that (somehow) opens out below you when you jump
///so I don't lose my shiat by looking down either
 
2014-04-07 09:22:39 PM  
Please. I used to make jumps with a parachute the size of an umbrella. Of course I was five, and it was an umbrella and I was jumping off the patio furniture. But still.
 
2014-04-07 09:24:16 PM  
Looks like it has all sorts of folds and nooks and crannies, would have been cooler if it was just a He-Man bed sheet and some twine.
 
2014-04-07 09:29:17 PM  
s2.quickmeme.com
 
2014-04-07 09:29:41 PM  
You should be able to break the record with a whirligig-type parachute.

We must move forward, not backward... upward, not backward!
 
2014-04-07 09:31:19 PM  
It would work with an extremely small human
 
2014-04-07 09:32:42 PM  
Also, with today's king sized extra deep mattresses, our bed sheets are basically the size of a boxing ring.
 
2014-04-07 09:40:02 PM  
Subby doesn't know if trying to set a world record with the world's smallest parachute is such a bright idea

Then subby should stay away from women, fire, and sharp objects.
 
2014-04-07 09:42:42 PM  
A Pair of Shoes the size of a bed sheet?
Damn Subby, ard you from Kentucky ?
 
2014-04-07 09:45:26 PM  
now do that with the mattress and I might be impressed.
 
2014-04-07 09:47:30 PM  

LordOfThePings: You should be able to break the record with a whirligig-type parachute.

We must move forward, not backward... upward, not backward!


And always twirling, twirling, TWIRLING towards freedom.
 
2014-04-07 09:49:26 PM  
I read that book where the guy was played by Forrest Gump and he did it with a napkin, or handkerchief. I can't recall, but I do remember throwing the book after reading it. Dan Brown, what a chode.
 
2014-04-07 09:51:18 PM  
Do it with a dinner napkin and then I will be impressed. Do it...I dare ya.
 
2014-04-07 09:51:33 PM  
It's a stupid record. Just use a 70 pound dwarf and a parachute the size of a pillowcase.
 
2014-04-07 09:52:54 PM  

Rand's lacy underwear: Some day I'll set the record for the biggest. It'll be big enough to hide the sky so I don't lose my shiat.

/simultaneously I'll unveil my own invention
//it's a parachute that (somehow) opens out below you when you jump
///so I don't lose my shiat by looking down either


I like this idea better.. and it'd be more entertaining to watch. How about a 500ft wide parachute. Make it happen.
 
2014-04-07 09:54:57 PM  
Remember when the book was several hundred pages thick and had actual records, not just the popular records du jour?

You just might be an old fogey.
 
2014-04-07 10:00:51 PM  
www.skye4birds.com
 
2014-04-07 10:16:17 PM  
I remember an Addams Family episode where Gomez had the idea of conditioning himself parachuting by jumping with a smaller chute each time. His theory was that in time, he would not need a parachute at all.
jaydeanhcr.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-07 10:26:17 PM  

Lsherm: This definitely strikes me as one of the dumber world records out there.  What happens when someone breaks the record AND shatters both their legs?  Does that count?


Seems like an ultimately self-correcting problem.
 
2014-04-07 10:33:38 PM  
He survived, so I guess he must have done the math....  Or, was just lucky.
 
2014-04-07 10:36:55 PM  
Faster landing speed, and a dicier flare.
 
2014-04-07 10:43:52 PM  

studebaker hoch: Faster landing speed, and a dicier flare.


As well as being unstable as fark. Better adjust your harness just right. Canopy jockeys are idiots.There's no justification for dying under a good canopy.
 
2014-04-07 10:44:44 PM  
Meh, this doesn't seem like fun to me.

Besides, Calvin did it first.

www.wombania.com
 
2014-04-07 10:46:14 PM  
Also:


www.skye4birds.com
 
2014-04-07 10:51:15 PM  

99.998er: I remember an Addams Family episode where Gomez had the idea of conditioning himself parachuting by jumping with a smaller chute each time. His theory was that in time, he would not need a parachute at all.


And he was correct. On jump number "dead +1", no chute is required.
 
2014-04-07 10:52:43 PM  

drewogatory: studebaker hoch: Faster landing speed, and a dicier flare.

As well as being unstable as fark. Better adjust your harness just right. Canopy jockeys are idiots.There's no justification for dying under a good canopy.


Reminds me of this, which I first heard on Band of Brothers:

The risers swung around his neck, connectors cracked his dome,
Suspension lines were tied in knots around his skinny bones;
The canopy became his shroud; he hurtled to the ground.
He ain't gonna jump no more.

Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die,
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die,
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die,
He ain't gonna jump no more!

Not many of them left anymore. :>(
 
2014-04-07 10:55:24 PM  
Look how structured that thing is. It's a wing. More ribs than a Karl Lagerfeld fashion show.
 
2014-04-07 10:59:25 PM  
Gainza's jump took 0.18 sq m off the previous record for smallest canopy, set by Brazilian Luigi Cani in 2006.

That is the kind of stuff that pisses me off. You're not more impressive than the guy from 2006, because you basically did what he did, just with a smaller chute. Eventually enough people will get killed and they will say "Oh well such and such is the record" and crown that person king of idiot parachuters.

But what if you were armed with just a bed sheet to slow your descent?
That was the size of Ernesto Gainza's canopy


Oh really, who the fark writes crap like that? That is like saying OMG YOU ARE IN A ROCK FIGHT BUT YOU HAVE A GUN AND THE PROJECTILES ARE THE SIZE OF PEA GRAVEL!

Why would you imagine you have a bed sheet, he didn't use a bed sheet you twit.
 
2014-04-07 11:04:39 PM  
So little, so late.
Aw, chute.
 
2014-04-07 11:25:12 PM  
Using a sheet as parachute? Old hat, go to any military base during a typhoon.
 
2014-04-07 11:59:10 PM  
I don't see what the big deal is about skydiving.  All it does is let you down.

/*ducks flying "D" handles
//A-49088, 130 jumps
///BSBD
 
2014-04-08 02:39:30 AM  
I think it's somewhat lame to knock a couple square feet off of Luigi Cani's record from several years ago and then land it straight in with a strong headwind.

On a more general note, canopies that small are pointless. They're twitchy and they open and fly like garbage. And with a little lead and locking front risers you can fly alongside wingsuits using a canopy in the  70-80 sq ft range, so they're not even necessary for that anymore.

/my last 1200 jumps or so have been on 90 sq ft canopies
//get off my lawn
 
2014-04-08 06:32:02 AM  
14,000 feet in 3-1/2 minutes? I've never jumped, but if my math is right that's a 45 mph descent. I wonder how long he was in free-fall before he pulled the cord.
 
2014-04-08 07:50:54 AM  
Meh... I did this years ago when I was a kid when i jumped off the house. I survived that and the ass whoopin I got from mom.
 
2014-04-08 10:40:28 AM  

steve0701: 14,000 feet in 3-1/2 minutes? I've never jumped, but if my math is right that's a 45 mph descent. I wonder how long he was in free-fall before he pulled the cord.


He wasn't in freefall for any of the jump. Google "direct bag deployment"
 
2014-04-08 10:44:27 PM  
I think I get it now. The guy who sets the record for the smallest parachute is the guy who can land the hardest without getting himself killed in the process.
 
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