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(SeattlePI)   Sometimes when you start dating a woman you're going to have make a choice between her and the annual Renaissance Faire   (seattlepi.com) divider line 289
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12494 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Apr 2014 at 3:44 PM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-07 02:08:08 PM
cdn2-b.examiner.com
 
2014-04-07 02:10:08 PM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2014-04-07 02:10:28 PM
Ren Faires: Where women wear no underwear and the corsets make Danica Patrick look like Kate Upton.

That said, Mister Shatner has the definitive advice for the boyfriend:

img3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-04-07 02:20:32 PM
FTFA:

My boyfriend participates in the Renaissance Faire. He enjoys this greatly, and doing so has greatly enhanced his self-esteem.


BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Trust me, you are better off without him.
 
2014-04-07 02:21:32 PM
If you're choosing the Renaissance Faire over a girl who wants to sleep with you, odds are you've made at least one wrong turn in life.
 
2014-04-07 02:22:39 PM

Serious Black: If you're choosing the Renaissance Faire over a girl who wants to sleep with you, odds are you've made at least one wrong turn in life.


Apparently he's doing overnights at the Faire.  Banging some homely lasses no doubt.


/yes, I know what homely means.
 
2014-04-07 02:25:56 PM
As long as he doesn't start calling her "m'lady", it's fine.
 
2014-04-07 02:32:45 PM

OtherLittleGuy: Ren Faires: Where women wear no underwear and the corsets make Danica Patrick look like Kate Upton.

That said, Mister Shatner has the definitive advice for the boyfriend:

[img3.wikia.nocookie.net image 425x326]



Is Mister Shatner going turkey hunting later?
 
2014-04-07 02:38:29 PM
Every weekend three months out of the year? Damn. Even with season passes that's gotta be a lot of money.

We went to the Texas Ren Faire a few years back and it was about $200 for tickets, food, rides and a few souvenirs for the kid.

Also, if he IS "jousting" with the comely wenches, does he break character and use a condom?
 
2014-04-07 02:42:51 PM
To be honest, the closest thing to a Ren Faire I have attended was watching Game of Thrones at home and stuffing myself with red meat, wine, and beer.
 
2014-04-07 02:44:25 PM
Ah, Renaissance Fairs. Where those who majored in liberal studies or English go to work.

/perhaps theater tech
 
2014-04-07 02:44:27 PM
Poor guy is just trying to enjoy a little Toad in the Hole.
 
2014-04-07 02:50:03 PM
Sounds like an SCA widow
 
wee [TotalFark]
2014-04-07 03:10:00 PM

Shostie: comely wenches


I went to a ren faire a few years ago with a couple friends.  "Comely" is a very strange way of saying "350 pound"...
 
2014-04-07 03:18:14 PM
If she can't even decide whether or not to talk to him about it, I'm going to guess this woman doesn't have a lot of options.
 
2014-04-07 03:23:17 PM

Shostie: Also, if he IS "jousting" with the comely wenches, does he break character and use a condom?


They had condoms back then.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_condoms#1500s_to_the_1800s
 
2014-04-07 03:31:26 PM

Sybarite: If she can't even decide whether or not to talk to him about it, I'm going to guess this woman doesn't have a lot of options.


She won't say anything.  She'll just let her love for him slowly deflate like a flan in a cupboard, all the while telling him that everything is fine and hating him for believing her.  Then, when all of her attachment has finally evaporated, she'll start screwing someone else and when he finds out and calls her on it, she'll blame him for the entire mess.  All the while ignoring the fact that she could have just spoken up when she needed something and saved their marriage... I mean, relationship.  I have to go now.
 
2014-04-07 03:38:21 PM
I'd pick the Renaissance "Faire" and I don't even go to them.
 
2014-04-07 03:44:22 PM

dittybopper: Shostie: Also, if he IS "jousting" with the comely wenches, does he break character and use a condom?

They had condoms back then.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_condoms#1500s_to_the_1800s


In days of old
when knights were bold
and condoms weren't invented ...
 
2014-04-07 03:45:08 PM
Uh huh.  You're critical of his decision, but just think.  Would you date a woman who would date a man who attends Renaissance Faire?
 
2014-04-07 03:46:40 PM
21 years of faire here.. and the choice is simple.

Don't date women who don't go to faire with you. Duh.
 
2014-04-07 03:48:43 PM

James!: Serious Black: If you're choosing the Renaissance Faire over a girl who wants to sleep with you, odds are you've made at least one wrong turn in life.

Apparently he's doing overnights at the Faire.  Banging some homely lasses no doubt.


/yes, I know what homely means.


When speaking of banging Ren Faire women, homely is implied.
 
2014-04-07 03:48:52 PM
Lady, you need to either bug out, or dive in and embrace the craziness.
 
2014-04-07 03:48:53 PM

Shadow Blasko: 21 years of faire here.. and the choice is simple.

Don't date women who don't go to faire with you. Duh.


ThaT.
And he's cheating on her with a beer wench
 
2014-04-07 03:49:38 PM

The_Sponge: To be honest, the closest thing to a Ren Faire I have attended was watching Game of Thrones at home


Why not both?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Krz-dyD-UQ

/powdered sugarrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!
 
2014-04-07 03:50:25 PM
Fark handle?
 
2014-04-07 03:50:49 PM
Hmm......

assets.vice.com
 
2014-04-07 03:50:50 PM

IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: James!: Serious Black: If you're choosing the Renaissance Faire over a girl who wants to sleep with you, odds are you've made at least one wrong turn in life.

Apparently he's doing overnights at the Faire.  Banging some homely lasses no doubt.


/yes, I know what homely means.

When speaking of banging Ren Faire women, homely is implied.


Yes. Every one of them is hideous and horrible!

Now go away and ..we'll deal with the problem. Your work is done here. You go on now.. go home.

We'll ... deal with this.
 
2014-04-07 03:50:58 PM
he's just there to stare at all the wenches----theres some slutty outfits at those things.
 
2014-04-07 03:51:23 PM
If she were hot, would he be avoiding her?  No.  Therefore, we can conclude that she is not hot.  Now, that does not necessarily mean that she is fat and/or hideous, but I think that logically it certainly ups the odds.
 
2014-04-07 03:51:51 PM

Z-clipped: Sybarite: If she can't even decide whether or not to talk to him about it, I'm going to guess this woman doesn't have a lot of options.

She won't say anything.  She'll just let her love for him slowly deflate like a flan in a cupboard, all the while telling him that everything is fine and hating him for believing her.  Then, when all of her attachment has finally evaporated, she'll start screwing someone else and when he finds out and calls her on it, she'll blame him for the entire mess.  All the while ignoring the fact that she could have just spoken up when she needed something and saved their marriage... I mean, relationship.  I have to go now.


Did you make the wax hands?
 
2014-04-07 03:52:51 PM
She needs to dump him and he needs to find someone who shares his interests.
 
2014-04-07 03:53:16 PM

Shostie: Every weekend three months out of the year? Damn. Even with season passes that's gotta be a lot of money.

We went to the Texas Ren Faire a few years back and it was about $200 for tickets, food, rides and a few souvenirs for the kid.

Also, if he IS "jousting" with the comely wenches, does he break character and use a condom?


No need to break character if you use sheep intestines.
 
2014-04-07 03:53:17 PM

Tax Boy: The_Sponge: To be honest, the closest thing to a Ren Faire I have attended was watching Game of Thrones at home

Why not both?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Krz-dyD-UQ

/powdered sugarrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!



"Dang it, Petey! Don't ever call it a Renaissance Fair!"


/gonna get me an order of Fibonnachos!
 
2014-04-07 03:53:19 PM
Just leavin' this here:  http://ryleh.org

/The Green Man
//67 years old
///31-year-old girlfriend
////slashies
 
2014-04-07 03:53:47 PM

Sybarite: If she can't even decide whether or not to talk to him about it, I'm going to guess this woman doesn't have a lot of options.


She doesn't want to talk to him about it because she knows what his answer will be. She just needs to talk to him and get it out of the way. If he changes he changes, if he doesn't leave.
 
2014-04-07 03:54:09 PM

Z-clipped: Sybarite: If she can't even decide whether or not to talk to him about it, I'm going to guess this woman doesn't have a lot of options.

She won't say anything.  She'll just let her love for him slowly deflate like a flan in a cupboard, all the while telling him that everything is fine and hating him for believing her.  Then, when all of her attachment has finally evaporated, she'll start screwing someone else and when he finds out and calls her on it, she'll blame him for the entire mess.  All the while ignoring the fact that she could have just spoken up when she needed something and saved their marriage... I mean, relationship.  I have to go now.


way to lighten up the mood. *brohug*
 
2014-04-07 03:55:20 PM

special20: Shostie: Every weekend three months out of the year? Damn. Even with season passes that's gotta be a lot of money.

We went to the Texas Ren Faire a few years back and it was about $200 for tickets, food, rides and a few souvenirs for the kid.

Also, if he IS "jousting" with the comely wenches, does he break character and use a condom?

No need to break character if you use sheep intestines.


I thought that was to prevent earthquakes?
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-07 03:55:59 PM

dittybopper: Shostie: Also, if he IS "jousting" with the comely wenches, does he break character and use a condom?

They had condoms back then.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_condoms#1500s_to_the_1800s


The Ancient and Old Irish Condom


I was up to me arse in the muck, Sir,
With a peat contract down in the bog
When me shovel it struck something hard, Sir,
That I thought was a rock or a log

'Twas a box of the finest old oak, Sir,
'Twas a foot long, and four inches wide
And not giving a damn for the Fairies
I just took a quick look inside

Now I opened the lid of this box, Sir,
And I swear that my story is true
T'was an ancient and old Irish condom
A relic of Brian Boru

'Twas an ancient and old Irish condom
'Twas a foot long, and made of elk hide,
With a little gold tag on it's end, Sir,
With his name, rank, and stud fee inscribed

Now, I cast me mind back thru the ages
To the days of that horny old Celt
With his wife lyin' by on the bed, Sir,
As he stood by the fire in his pelt

And I thought that I heard Brian whisper
As he stood in the fire's rosy light
"Well, you've had yer own way long enough, dear...
'Tis the hairy side outside, tonight."
 
2014-04-07 03:56:02 PM
He (and she) sounds fat.
 
2014-04-07 03:56:56 PM
"The Renaissance Faire has taken over my boyfriend's life" says the woman who doesn't know when she has it good.

/Read the link as "Sometimes when you start dating a woman you're going to have to make a choice between her and the anus"
//That thread would have been a lot more fun
 
2014-04-07 03:56:57 PM
I'm trying to figure out how this improves his self esteem?  I'm guessing saxy role playing times when the festival has down time.
 
2014-04-07 03:58:06 PM

The_Sponge: To be honest, the closest thing to a Ren Faire I have attended was watching Game of Thrones at home and stuffing myself with red meat, wine, and beer.


I've never watched Game of Thrones, but I once got suckered into going to a Ren Faire.  Frankly, I don't get 'em.

/total nerd, but not a geek
//doesn't do sci fi, either
 
2014-04-07 03:58:57 PM
I am going to need more pics of attractive ren faire ladies. For research purposes.
 
2014-04-07 03:59:39 PM
If your choosing a faire over a sex you need to be neutered. Your genes need to die with you
 
2014-04-07 04:00:05 PM

The_Sponge: To be honest, the closest thing to a Ren Faire I have attended was watching Game of Thrones at home and stuffing myself with red meat, wine, and beer.


I've come to the realization that if I was a character on GoT; I'd probably be Robert Baratheon. I enjoy meat, mead, song and women too much for my own good.
 
2014-04-07 04:00:21 PM
Ya know this depends on how long they have actually been together. My guess is not that long. My other guess is she should move on. If she is not going to share in the experience then they are not meant to be.
 
2014-04-07 04:00:31 PM

Jument: I am going to need more pics of attractive ren faire ladies. For research purposes.


If my domain was up at the moment I would have several hundred for you.

And, as loathe as I am to send someone to the domain of a known content thief..

You could just go to http://renfaireboobs.com
 
2014-04-07 04:00:32 PM

Shadow Blasko: 21 years of faire here.. and the choice is simple.

Don't date women who don't go to faire with you. Duh.


Former Faire actor.  Ditto.  You can't date non-faire women. They don't understand and get wildly jealous that you hang out with women who's boobs are hanging out.

Both my sisters met their husband while working Faire.  Their kids have all worked Faire.
 
2014-04-07 04:00:53 PM

Mid_mo_mad_man: If your choosing a faire over a sex you need to be neutered. Your genes need to die with you


Over sex
 
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