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(Daily Mail)   The goggles, they do something   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 21
    More: Obvious, goggles  
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14105 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Apr 2014 at 11:11 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-04-06 11:14:54 PM
7 votes:
Lemme see if I have this straight.  She misused a product for years and now wants that product banned because her misuse of the product has caused her significant injury.  Did I get that right?
2014-04-06 09:21:34 PM
5 votes:
As long as people are vain enough to use stupid and dangerous items like tanning beds, they're not going away anytime soon.
2014-04-06 09:23:20 PM
3 votes:

www.billboard.com

RIP Debbie Gibson

2014-04-06 09:05:27 PM
3 votes:
Sad, but more than a little stupid to think her decision not to wear goggles didn't factor into her getting cancer in her eye.
2014-04-06 11:53:27 PM
2 votes:
Thanks for screwing up the line again in the usual manner, dumbitter. Great work.
2014-04-06 11:27:44 PM
2 votes:

whatshisname: Don't you close your eyes when you use those things?


If you're a pussy, sure.
2014-04-06 11:24:37 PM
2 votes:

worlddan: jtown: Lemme see if I have this straight.  She misused a product for years and now wants that product banned because her misuse of the product has caused her significant injury.  Did I get that right?

Yes.


Daily Fail. If they reported that the sky was blue, I'd go outside to check.
2014-04-07 07:21:22 AM
1 votes:
img.fark.net
img1.wikia.nocookie.net

Mrs Martok?
2014-04-07 06:44:30 AM
1 votes:
I've earned every line and gray hair I have, and still people don't believe my age.  I think years of having terrible acne, and allergic reactions to sunscreen is now paying off, because my ghostly skin blinds others.

But I agree with the other posters.  If a doctor tells me I have occular melanoma, the eyeball is coming out.  Congrats, Lesser Evil, on kicking cancer's evil ass, but your story is nightmare fuel.
2014-04-07 05:21:39 AM
1 votes:

ladyfortuna: Guy McRule: The parents of another kid in my daughter's class own a chain of tanning joints. The wife looks like an old catcher's mitt. She can't be older than 40... It's sad and puzzling at the same time.

Bleh. And here I am at nearly 34, annoyed by tiny tiny lines I'm starting to see up close... my vampire skin will apparently win the day against people who went tanning.


Mine already has. I'm 47, almost never wear makeup, and people routinely assume I'm in my early 30s.

/Naturally I'm quick to tell them my age, because it's so much nicer to have people think you look fabulous for your age than that you're starting to show it.
//Start using eye cream now if you don't already. Also dab a bit on the bridge of your nose between your eyes and on anything that looks like a frown line.
2014-04-07 02:27:23 AM
1 votes:

jtown: Lemme see if I have this straight.  She misused a product for years and now wants that product banned because her misuse of the product has caused her significant injury.  Did I get that right?


That's pretty much how most movements to ban things work.  Temperance, the anti-gun movement, censorship movements, etc. Even the PC movement loved to use examples of people intentionally using language in hurtful ways to "prove" that certain words themselves were inherently "bad".

People keep using this stupid argument because historically it's an  effective stupid argument, basically.  It's a fundamentally dishonest rhetorical technique, but it frequently gets you what you want.
2014-04-07 12:41:55 AM
1 votes:

LesserEvil: I'm getting a kick (not really) out of this story because had the same damn thing.

Sad that it wasn't found before it metastasized - I got treated with radiation and followups with lasers. This is basically a tumor inside your eye. Mine was discovered during a routine eye exam (my first eye exam after 8 years), and I was sent to a retinal specialist (at this point, it looked like just an issue with the retina). The specialist ran an ultrasound (over my eyelid) and discovered it was actually a lump on my retina.

That led me to being sent to "Ocular Oncology" specialists at University of Michigan. It was cancer. I had to get screened to see if the cancer had spread, and they'd do a biopsy while they were treating it. Lucky me, I was one of the 30 or so people to get this every year... well, actually, to some degree, I was lucky that I was only 40 minutes away from one of the few places in the world that had experts in treating this.

One of the fun things was all the examinations... unlike the retinal specialist, the folks at Kellogg Eye Center ran ultrasounds ACROSS MY EYEBALL. Yay! If you've never had this done, ponder the idea of having a device that looks like a ballpoint pen, making a slight buzzing noise, reminiscent of a dentist drill, being swiped across your bare eyeball. There was other stuff... the doctor carefully hand drew my retina in detail, and imaging was done (I was injected with dyes to make the veins stand out)

After my screening, which included x-rays and ultrasounds to determine if I had any lumps or masses on any organs, I was scheduled for consultation with radiology regarding the radioactive "plaque" they would use. I was assured the radiation would be shielded from the rest of my body, but... more on that later.

I went in on a Monday morning, they put me out, cut some muscle and sewed this chip on the back of my eyeball, under the where the tumor was in my eye. For the next week, I had to wear a giant lead shield over part of my face and ...


So, for those of you who are tl;dr, if a doctor ever tells you you have "ocular melanomas," just tell them to take your farking eye out.
2014-04-07 12:40:04 AM
1 votes:

LesserEvil: I don't know about you guys, but somebody pulling my eyeball out to remove a chip sewn on the back of it would be pretty traumatic - as it was, I had pain issues, and they put me under general during the operation.


G'kar would have taken it as an opportunity to wave hello to himself.
2014-04-07 12:29:03 AM
1 votes:
I'm getting a kick (not really) out of this story because had the same damn thing.

Sad that it wasn't found before it metastasized - I got treated with radiation and followups with lasers. This is basically a tumor inside your eye. Mine was discovered during a routine eye exam (my first eye exam after 8 years), and I was sent to a retinal specialist (at this point, it looked like just an issue with the retina). The specialist ran an ultrasound (over my eyelid) and discovered it was actually a lump on my retina.

That led me to being sent to "Ocular Oncology" specialists at University of Michigan. It was cancer. I had to get screened to see if the cancer had spread, and they'd do a biopsy while they were treating it. Lucky me, I was one of the 30 or so people to get this every year... well, actually, to some degree, I was lucky that I was only 40 minutes away from one of the few places in the world that had experts in treating this.

One of the fun things was all the examinations... unlike the retinal specialist, the folks at Kellogg Eye Center ran ultrasounds ACROSS MY EYEBALL. Yay! If you've never had this done, ponder the idea of having a device that looks like a ballpoint pen, making a slight buzzing noise, reminiscent of a dentist drill, being swiped across your bare eyeball. There was other stuff... the doctor carefully hand drew my retina in detail, and imaging was done (I was injected with dyes to make the veins stand out)

After my screening, which included x-rays and ultrasounds to determine if I had any lumps or masses on any organs, I was scheduled for consultation with radiology regarding the radioactive "plaque" they would use. I was assured the radiation would be shielded from the rest of my body, but... more on that later.

I went in on a Monday morning, they put me out, cut some muscle and sewed this chip on the back of my eyeball, under the where the tumor was in my eye. For the next week, I had to wear a giant lead shield over part of my face and was to avoid prolonged company - i.e. my family and pets could not be in the same room with me for more than 20 minutes at a time. My wife slept out in our living room for the week. On Friday, they took it out. Fun fact: They tried to use MAPS on me... I'd be awake, aware, but I wouldn't feel anything, wouldn't care, and wouldn't remember. I don't know about you guys, but somebody pulling my eyeball out to remove a chip sewn on the back of it would be pretty traumatic - as it was, I had pain issues, and they put me under general during the operation.

They had performed a biopsy, which involved getting a sample of the tumor using a needle through my eyeball.

Slowly, over the next three months, vision returned to my eye, while I dutifully used the dilating eyedrops. This was disconcerting because the biopsy caused some bleeding in my vitreous humor - whenever I tilted my head back, a curtain of blobby blackness crept over my vision.

The laser treatments, I was told, would be painful. This wasn't the laser causing the pain - it was the shots they had to use to inject meds to "freeze" my eye beforehand - directly into the muscles below the eye, where there are a LOT of nerves. Also, it's not fun having somebody aiming a needle in the general eye area. The laser treatments lasted about 5~10 minutes, as they cauterized the edges of the tumor with an IR laser. I saw some sort of red light, which was used to aim it.

3+ years laters...I'm still here, but the vision in that eye is pretty well shot, due to the radiation. As for the radiologist's assurance that the rest of me would be shielded? I discovered, some months after the treatment, that I had a missing memory. A pet I had 5 years before was completely snipped out of my brain - even with the knowledge that this pet existed, I have been unable to muster the slightest memory of it; a cat that had some health issues, and we had to put to sleep, a cat that spent most of its time with me, on my lap, or sitting nearby when we had it.

Anyway, that's my "CSB" - every moment of the treatment was filled with anxiety, as I can't even wear contacts, because I have a thing about my "touching" eyeballs - and this was on top of dealing with "the big C"

Oh, and as for the cause? I have never used a tanning bed. The doctors told me they really have no idea what might cause ocular melanomas. Not a clue. There simply isn't enough cases to find anything causal.
2014-04-07 12:17:44 AM
1 votes:

jaytkay: Huh. I thought cancer made you skinny.


Apparently it adds 40 pounds and 20 years.  That's a hard 42.
2014-04-06 11:32:45 PM
1 votes:
Artificial tanning should just be banned. Leave toasting to bread.
2014-04-06 11:32:03 PM
1 votes:
Let's hope:

www.testbwilcox.com
2014-04-06 11:29:33 PM
1 votes:

twat_waffle: worlddan: jtown: Lemme see if I have this straight.  She misused a product for years and now wants that product banned because her misuse of the product has caused her significant injury.  Did I get that right?

Yes.

Daily Fail. If they reported that the sky was blue, I'd go outside to check.


It's england. The sky is Grey unless a tardis flies by
2014-04-06 11:28:06 PM
1 votes:
Just accept your pale fate, England.
2014-04-06 11:25:34 PM
1 votes:
Don't you close your eyes when you use those things?
2014-04-06 11:21:39 PM
1 votes:
Was i the only one looking at the farkline and assumed it referred to beer goggles?
 
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