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(Stuff.co.nz)   A rival kindergarten has better enrollment. Do you A) advertise more B) educate better or C) poison students of rival school?   (stuff.co.nz) divider line 39
    More: Sick, voter registration, kindergartens, China Central Television, poisons  
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5056 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Apr 2014 at 9:11 PM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-05 07:32:43 PM
China's supreme court must review all death sentences.

That's just .... WOW. Not that the system can't be corrupted or gamed, but still that's great jurisprudence right there.
 
2014-04-05 07:46:39 PM
asked her accomplice to place it on the road

Hey, free road yogurt!


several kindergartens throughout China were found to be feeding unauthorised drugs to children in order to boost attendance rates

So stay in school AND do drugs?
 
2014-04-05 09:08:37 PM
Graham Young Elementary School?
 
2014-04-05 09:16:06 PM
I question almost every averment in that article.
 
2014-04-05 09:16:27 PM

"Two sisters died after drinking the yogurt, which was placed with a notebook and a pencil in a plastic bag on the way to the other kindergarten in Pingshan County."


Supplies!


i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-04-05 09:20:56 PM

fusillade762: asked her accomplice to place it on the road

Hey, free road yogurt!


several kindergartens throughout China were found to be feeding unauthorised drugs to children in order to boost attendance rates

So stay in school AND do drugs?


I'm willing to go back.
 
2014-04-05 09:21:09 PM
My heart skipped a beat when i saw the nz. Then clicked to find it was a Chinese story. New Zealand, you are still perfect.

/don't mess it up
 
2014-04-05 09:22:01 PM
May I suggest death by drowning in rancid yogurt?
 
2014-04-05 09:23:17 PM
had to be china, right? what the fark is there problem?
 
2014-04-05 09:25:18 PM

fusillade762: Hey, free road yogurt!


Natural selection at work.

/you're going to CHARGE for headphones on THIS flight? Oh, well, I guess that makes sense
 
2014-04-05 09:26:47 PM
To be fair, poison was probably the cheapest option.  Invisible hand of the free market and all.
 
2014-04-05 09:28:52 PM
Tearing down is much easier.


Just like it is easier for parents to blame schools and teachers, not their patenting, for kids poor performance.
 
2014-04-05 09:33:14 PM

some_beer_drinker: had to be china, right? what the fark is there problem?


Too much lead and heavy metals in the water.
 
2014-04-05 09:41:02 PM

some_beer_drinker: had to be china, right? what the fark is there problem?


Too many people, not enough farks to be given.
 
2014-04-05 09:42:40 PM

Gyrfalcon: some_beer_drinker: had to be china, right? what the fark is there problem?

Too much lead and heavy metals in the water.


img01.chesuto.jp

Not to mention the air. It's chewy.
 
2014-04-05 09:48:24 PM

Danger Avoid Death: Gyrfalcon: some_beer_drinker: had to be china, right? what the fark is there problem?

Too much lead and heavy metals in the water.

[img01.chesuto.jp image 400x226]

Not to mention the air. It's chewy.


The air there appears to resemble the "waters" of the Ankh River.  Clearly, the Chinese need to travel through reality, kidnap the Patrician, and install him in Beijing.
 
2014-04-05 10:25:32 PM
In this case, I'm liking the Saddam-esque feet first into a tree shredder treatment.
 
2014-04-05 10:25:35 PM
The fact that "rival kindergarten" is a phrase that even makes sense is what's wrong with America today.

(rtfa)

See! We're even outsourcing our social disorder!
 
2014-04-05 10:26:32 PM

fredbox: The fact that "rival kindergarten" is a phrase that even makes sense is what's wrong with America today.

(rtfa)

See! We're even outsourcing our social disorder!


+1 Funny!
 
2014-04-05 10:42:42 PM
India last year 22 kids died because the headmistress poisoned them.  India still champion.
 
2014-04-05 11:08:26 PM

some_beer_drinker: had to be china, right? what the fark is there problem?


Yeah, that was my first thought when I saw the article.  It's not the first time they've had things like this, either.
 
2014-04-05 11:09:15 PM
shtychkn: Tearing down is much easier.


Just like it is easier for parents to blame schools and teachers, not their patenting, for kids poor performance.


I know. Damn parents patenting their children ala Beyonce and Jay Z! So, that's why all the kids have barcodes and TM logos on them.
 
2014-04-05 11:18:12 PM
this is so sad, hurting children

china is as farked up as the USA
and it gives me absolutely no hope for the future


OF HUMANITY!!!

/sigh
 
2014-04-05 11:22:06 PM
The yoghurt contains potassium benzoate!

i3.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-05 11:22:22 PM
All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon,
When we're poisoning toddlers in the park.
 
m00
2014-04-05 11:23:18 PM

davynelson: this is so sad, hurting children

china is as farked up as the USA
and it gives me absolutely no hope for the future


OF HUMANITY!!!

/sigh


As politically asinine as America is becoming, we're waaaaaay better than China on every conceivable "could actually live there" metric.
 
2014-04-05 11:25:12 PM

kling_klang_bed: shtychkn: Tearing down is much easier.


Just like it is easier for parents to blame schools and teachers, not their patenting, for kids poor performance.

I know. Damn parents patenting their children ala Beyonce and Jay Z! So, that's why all the kids have barcodes and TM logos on them.


Apparently I type patent on my phone more often then parent. Or Samsung auto corrects to patent more commonly because of all thier lawsuits.


Hmm. I'd be filthy rich if I could patent poor performance at school.
 
2014-04-05 11:49:27 PM
It was China and the two who died were girls. Frankly, I'm surprised the people who did it weren't given some sort of award or something.
 
2014-04-06 01:17:32 AM
Confucius say "Don't drink what is not yours, otherwise poison may sprew through your pores"
 
2014-04-06 01:28:08 AM
Wanted for questioning:

31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-04-06 01:43:09 AM
"C", but do I have to wait to have a rival kindergarten?
 
2014-04-06 03:04:05 AM

Atomic Spunk: It was China and the two who died were girls. Frankly, I'm surprised the people who did it weren't given some sort of award or something.


Not anymore. There's a massive shortage of marriageable women over there now, thanks to the combination of the one child rule and the boys-are-better-what-girl-baby thing.
 
2014-04-06 05:11:24 AM
They send one of yours to time out, you send one of theirs to the morgue.
 
2014-04-06 05:19:06 AM

ornithopter: Atomic Spunk: It was China and the two who died were girls. Frankly, I'm surprised the people who did it weren't given some sort of award or something.

Not anymore. There's a massive shortage of marriageable women over there now, thanks to the combination of the one child rule and the boys-are-better-what-girl-baby thing.


Yeah two dead girls is like 100 in another country.
 
2014-04-06 07:24:05 AM

Duane Dibbley: All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon,
When we're poisoning toddlers in the park.


*golf clap*

/Tom Lehrer FTW
 
2014-04-06 07:24:29 AM
Is this a trick question?
 
2014-04-06 08:26:11 AM
What kind of drugs do you give to a tottler in order to boost attendance?
 
2014-04-06 09:27:22 AM

m00: As politically asinine as America is becoming, we're waaaaaay better than China on every conceivable "could actually live there" metric


Ive lived in both the US and China - .... they both have merits but ... not gonna raise my kids in either of them.
 
2014-04-06 04:49:33 PM
The answer is always C)hina

:(
 
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