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(Some Guy)   There are two kinds of men in the world: Those who are 6 feet tall or taller, and those who don't matter   (explodingunicorn.com) divider line 190
    More: Amusing, garden gnomes, Cheez Whiz, flying monkeys, short people  
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8565 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Apr 2014 at 2:46 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



190 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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vpb [TotalFark]
2014-04-05 12:03:46 PM  
Short people got,
no reason........
 
2014-04-05 12:17:31 PM  
I am 6'2", and I cannot imagine the torture of being short.  This is because whenever I encounter someone taller than myself, I immediately think of them as a freak of nature, and not only begin wondering just what the hell is wrong with them, but also recognizing that in every way they are inferior to me.

Being 6'2", this does not happen very often, thank God.  But if I was 5'5", my life would be a living hell.

/tall people problems
 
2014-04-05 12:32:40 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: But if I was 5'5", my life would be a living hell.


It's not so bad, really. I save gas money by traveling in a fully grown man's shirt pocket, and I can feed myself for a week on the crumbs of bread that normal people leave lying around after lunch.

I also have a thimble that I wear as a helmet. It's a nice setup.
 
2014-04-05 01:12:57 PM  

Cake Hunter: Marcus Aurelius: But if I was 5'5", my life would be a living hell.

It's not so bad, really. I save gas money by traveling in a fully grown man's shirt pocket, and I can feed myself for a week on the crumbs of bread that normal people leave lying around after lunch.

I also have a thimble that I wear as a helmet. It's a nice setup.


I always wondered what you people ate.
 
2014-04-05 01:27:44 PM  
Yeah, but short people know how to find pots of gold and which color of brick road to follow; it's also funnier when they biatch slap teenage kings.
 
2014-04-05 01:38:53 PM  
I'm 5 foot tall, and I'm getting a kick... Mainly because people don't see me underfoot.
 
2014-04-05 01:48:55 PM  
At 5'10" I understand the old adage, "always a bridesmaid, never a bride."  I'm 2" shy of having a reason to continue living.

But at least I'm big in Japan.
 
2014-04-05 02:33:02 PM  
If you tap a short person on the head with a stick during a full moon, they turn into 7 tiny short people.
 
2014-04-05 02:48:02 PM  
I matter.  Woohoo!!
 
2014-04-05 02:51:16 PM  
I'm 6'11" and my wife is 4'10", so I'm getting a kick....
 
2014-04-05 02:51:21 PM  
I'm 5'8". I wish I was a little taller. My dad and brother are both 5'10" so I'm jealous of them. Though somehow out of my friend group I'm the tallest.
 
2014-04-05 02:51:48 PM  
I am 6'6" and I look down on most people.
 
2014-04-05 02:53:30 PM  

vpb: Short people got,
no reason........


They got little hands
Little eyes
They walk around
Tellin' great big lies
 
2014-04-05 02:53:54 PM  
6'0. ...whew! Just made it!
 
2014-04-05 02:54:35 PM  
that was surprisingly hilarious
/6'4
 
2014-04-05 02:54:53 PM  
Tall people are kind of scary.
 
2014-04-05 02:56:08 PM  
I come from a family of dwarves, so I'm ok being 5'9".
 
2014-04-05 02:56:38 PM  
Tall people are garbage to be shot & taken advantage of.
 
2014-04-05 02:56:44 PM  
Sooooo......we have become 4chan now?
/not part of the 6' master race
 
2014-04-05 02:56:46 PM  
At 5"11, I'm extremely glad I didn't grow any taller.   Who the hell wants pant sizes no one carries, shoe sizes you have to special order, cars that never allow you to be comfortable, and worst of all.....the inablilty to go balls deep.


Sorry, that last one is a deal breaker.  Have full tall folk,  I'll be getting busy gettin' my sack wet.
 
2014-04-05 02:56:56 PM  

Fafai: 6'0. ...whew! Just made it!


Me too! High five!
 
2014-04-05 02:58:08 PM  

Comsamvimes: I'm 5'8". I wish I was a little taller.


Do you wish you were a baller? If you had a girl who looked good, would you call her?
 
2014-04-05 02:58:11 PM  
Hard to care much about the vertical measurement when you're pleased with the horizontal.
 
2014-04-05 02:58:52 PM  

wiseolddude: I am 6'6" and I look down on most people.


.... and most people look up to us. That's why we make more money than short people.
 
2014-04-05 02:59:16 PM  
Obvious solution for short folks like myself:

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-04-05 03:00:09 PM  
What if one was once 6'0" but is getting older and is now closer to 5'11"?

/recently discovered this.  NOT happy.
 
2014-04-05 03:00:33 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: I am 6'2", and I cannot imagine the torture of being short.  This is because whenever I encounter someone taller than myself, I immediately think of them as a freak of nature, and not only begin wondering just what the hell is wrong with them, but also recognizing that in every way they are inferior to me.

Being 6'2", this does not happen very often, thank God.  But if I was 5'5", my life would be a living hell.

/tall people problems


6'2" also and agree with everything you said.

 The only time I notice my height is when I'm in an elevator and realize that I'm usually a half a foot taller than everyone else.
 
2014-04-05 03:01:02 PM  

wiseolddude: I am 6'6" and I look down on most people.


6'7 here, you know you have a bald spot right?
 
2014-04-05 03:01:35 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: I am 6'2", and I cannot imagine the torture of being short.  This is because whenever I encounter someone taller than myself, I immediately think of them as a freak of nature, and not only begin wondering just what the hell is wrong with them, but also recognizing that in every way they are inferior to me.

Being 6'2", this does not happen very often, thank God.  But if I was 5'5", my life would be a living hell.

/tall people problems


Being 5'6", I've never had to worry about legroom on airplanes or banging my head on a low door frame.  Plus shopping in the children's section is much cheaper, and most restaurants now have booster seats anyway!
 
2014-04-05 03:01:56 PM  
Marcus Aurelius:

Being 6'2", this does not happen very often, thank God.  But if I was 5'5", my life would be a living hell.


Friend of mine is so short sometimes I wonder if he's secretly from Best Korea, even if he's white.  I know I felt ashamed the day I realized nothing at Kohl's fit and I had to go to Big and Tall, but that is nothing compared to being a grown ass man who has to shop for clothes in the boys' section.   The only time a woman will give him the time of day is to chastise his lack of attraction to ham beasts.  Gotta admit, I do feel sorry for him.

/ Especially when I pin him down to the ground and make him say Uncle between mouthfuls of dirt.
// Went on a date with a guy who is 6'5 last night
/// Swallowed
 
2014-04-05 03:02:03 PM  
There's a quarter of a man in the market
With a quarter of a car so its easy to park it
He gets to the counter he saves what he can
But he only saves a quarter he's a quarter of a man


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sL5Mm9RX-gA
 
2014-04-05 03:02:46 PM  

Deep Contact: wiseolddude: I am 6'6" and I look down on most people.

.... and most people look up to us. That's why we make more money than short people.


Bill Gates (5'10) , Warren Buffet (5'10), Richard Branson (5'11), Elon Musk (5'11) are all laughing at you.
 
2014-04-05 03:03:55 PM  

DrSansabeltNoShiatSlacks: Tall people are garbage to be shot & taken advantage of.



Good thing you squits can't possible pull it off.

/6'2"
 
2014-04-05 03:04:38 PM  

Mark Ratner: I'm 6'11" and my wife is 4'10", so I'm getting a kick....


I'm 5'4, and my wife is 6'0" so we sorta cancel each other out.

/boobies
 
2014-04-05 03:05:03 PM  
I do have an anti-short bias of sorts. It's the Napoleon complex. They're just so annoying. All these little buffed up, athletic munchkin men all into martial arts and weightlifting and trying so hard to be alpha and shiat. Yes, you can kick my ass in a fight but only because your inherent genetic inferiority led you to spend all your time proving to others you aren't a worthless little shiat. If I gave two thoughts about trying to prove my masculinity to the world and trained for a fraction of the time you did I could kick your ass too because I'm better and more attractive.
 
2014-04-05 03:05:14 PM  
FTA: My shadow can protect people from a giant ball of fusion 109 times larger than the earth. I'm basically a superhero.


I'd never considered that angle before. The author has opened my eyes.
 
2014-04-05 03:06:04 PM  
www.dungeonsanddorkwads.com

"Five foot one and conqueror of Italy, not bad huh?"
 
2014-04-05 03:09:16 PM  
Who is this guy? am 6'4" so he doesn't matter.
 
2014-04-05 03:10:12 PM  

Alphakronik: At 5"11, I'm extremely glad I didn't grow any taller.   Who the hell wants pant sizes no one carries, shoe sizes you have to special order, cars that never allow you to be comfortable, and worst of all.....the inablilty to go balls deep.


Sorry, that last one is a deal breaker.  Have full tall folk,  I'll be getting busy gettin' my sack wet.


I have the opposite problem with pants, my size is always sold out because it's too farking average.

Otherwise, I'm fine with the roughly 5'9" I stand. The best part is over the years when I've joked with people shorter than me. Their response is "We'll, you're not all that tall yourself.", to which I respond with "But I'm still taller than you.".
 
2014-04-05 03:11:37 PM  
Rob the talls while they stand around admiring themselves.
 
2014-04-05 03:13:46 PM  

GardenWeasel: Mark Ratner: I'm 6'11" and my wife is 4'10", so I'm getting a kick....

I'm 5'4, and my wife is 6'0" so we sorta cancel each other out.

/boobies


Only reason I married her is so she couldn't kick me in the nuts.
 
2014-04-05 03:14:56 PM  
I'm only 5'7", and it farking sucks. Besides the fact that I have to hem my pants lest the cuffs get cauight under my shoes and destroyed, it does making standing out to girls next to impossible. I even dabbled in the online thing for a bit but gave that up when I saw that to women, if you're not 6" you don't exist. And yet guys are supposedly the shallow ones.
 
2014-04-05 03:17:07 PM  

taurusowner: I'm only 5'7", and it farking sucks. Besides the fact that I have to hem my pants lest the cuffs get cauight under my shoes and destroyed, it does making standing out to girls next to impossible. I even dabbled in the online thing for a bit but gave that up when I saw that to women, if you're not 6" you don't exist. And yet guys are supposedly the shallow ones.


If they're that shallow, 5" should be more than enough.
 
2014-04-05 03:17:21 PM  
As a 5'6'' male I love slow dancing with my 5'10'' girlfriend.
 
2014-04-05 03:17:23 PM  

Alphakronik: At 5"11, I'm extremely glad I didn't grow any taller.   Who the hell wants pant sizes no one carries, shoe sizes you have to special order, cars that never allow you to be comfortable, and worst of all.....the inablilty to go balls deep.


Sorry, that last one is a deal breaker.  Have full tall folk,  I'll be getting busy gettin' my sack wet.




I'm 5 foot and I've never gone balls deep.

/judge me on my height, you?
//size and thickness, on height not depend!
 
2014-04-05 03:18:06 PM  
Love being 6'1".
 
2014-04-05 03:18:46 PM  
"Biology is the ultimate wingman."

It's depressing how true this is.  Every time I see a girl swooning over some dude because he reeks of testosterone and has the manners of a caveman, I throw up in my mouth a little.

Me, personally, a good brain gives me a lady-boner.  Well, that and boobies.
 
2014-04-05 03:21:35 PM  
I'm 6'4".   I know conceptually I'm tall but I don't really think about it tbh.
 
2014-04-05 03:22:18 PM  

FunkOut: Tall people are kind of scary.


This.

But they usually turn out to be gentle and dumb.
 
2014-04-05 03:22:39 PM  

Fafai: I do have an anti-short bias of sorts. It's the Napoleon complex. They're just so annoying. All these little buffed up, athletic munchkin men all into martial arts and weightlifting and trying so hard to be alpha and shiat. Yes, you can kick my ass in a fight but only because your inherent genetic inferiority led you to spend all your time proving to others you aren't a worthless little shiat. If I gave two thoughts about trying to prove my masculinity to the world and trained for a fraction of the time you did I could kick your ass too because I'm better and more attractive.


6'2" here.

I always hated getting into fist fights with short guys. Only one of two possible outcomes:

1. He kicks your ass because of the complex you describe and years of training and you look like a total chump or

2. You kick his ass and you look like a ogre bully.

A no win situation.
 
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