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(Huffington Post)   Nine mistakes you're making with scrambled eggs, including adding milk. But it seems orange juice is still okay to add to the mix   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 23
    More: PSA, HuffPost Taste, milk, Julia Child  
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14741 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Apr 2014 at 2:35 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-04-05 03:03:07 PM  
3 votes:

Ablejack: Anyone handy with pots and pans knows every tip huffpo provided there is correct.
For those who feel their otherwise prepared scrambled eggs are already good enough; you're right. They're good enough for you.


Okay, I had to click the link after this comment.  Because clearly I might have been missing some Great Secrets.

HuffPo links make my computer barf.  Actually, most FARK links make my computer barf.  So you understand, clicking the link is actually an undertaking of great peril, and not something that I choose to do lightly.

Synopsis of the article:  Don't burn 'em, don't use shiatty eggs, don't ignore them, don't add weird crap to them.

I can't wait for the article on 7 Things You Never Knew About Pouring a Glass Of Water.  (Do you know which end is up?  You might be surprised!)
2014-04-05 04:23:14 PM  
2 votes:
Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey,
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore
As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door.
'Bad condensor, that,' I muttered, 'vibrating the icebox door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Not to sound like a complainer, but, in an inept half-gainer,
I provoked my bowl to tip and spill its contents on the floor.
Stupefied, I came to muddle over that increasing puddle,
Burgeoning deluge of that which I at present do adore -
Snowy Tuscan wholesomeness exclusively produced offshore -
Purg'ed here for evermore.

And the pool so white and silky, filled me with a sense of milky
Ardor of the type fantastic of a loss not known before,
So that now, to still the throbbing of my heart, while gently sobbing,
I retreated, heading straightway for the tempting icebox door -
Heedless of that pitter-patter tapping at the icebox door -
I resolved to have some more.

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
'This,' said I, 'requires an extra dram of milk, my favorite pour.'
To the icebox I aspired, motivated to admire
How its avocado pigment complemented my decor.
Then I grasped its woodgrain handle - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams of many Tuscans I had known before
But the light inside was broken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only words there spoken were my whispered words, 'No more!'
Coke and beer, some ketchup I set eyes on, and an apple core -
Merely this and nothing more.

Back toward the table turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
'Surely,' said I, 'surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

From the window came a stirring, then, with an incessant purring,
Inside stepped a kitten; mannerlessly did she me ignore.
Not the least obeisance made she; not a minute stopped or stayed she;
But, with mien of lord or lady, withdrew to my dining floor -
Pounced upon the pool of Tuscan spreading o'er my dining floor -
Licked, and lapped, and supped some more.

Then this tiny cat beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grand enthusiasm of the countenance she wore,
Toward the mess she showed no pity, 'til I said, 'Well, hello, kitty!'
Sought she me with pretty eyes that seemed to open some rapport.
So I pleaded, 'Tell me, tell me what it is that you implore!'
Quoth the kitten, 'Get some more.'


/not mine
2014-04-05 04:13:16 PM  
2 votes:
On a burner no hotter than the heat from a single candle, stirring constantly until they just come together.  Lightly salt and pepper, then smother the f*ckers with ketchup.
2014-04-05 02:46:32 PM  
2 votes:

meow said the dog: WTFDYW: Make the god damned things how ever you like them. The only ways you can f*ck them up is if you use rotten eggs (unlikely because you would know as soon as you cracked it open), or if you burn them.

/f*ck HuffPo

This. I have provided to you the vote of that which says SMART because as is known by we this is the most commonly used feature of the Fark.com website.


The self of me is very honored to have your vote on the site of Fark.com.
2014-04-05 02:38:59 PM  
2 votes:
Didn't Huff Post used to be a political blog? When did it turn into Buzzfeed?
2014-04-06 07:49:27 AM  
1 votes:
Oh, and ringing up cartons of eggs does not constitute 'being in the egg business'.
2014-04-05 07:04:20 PM  
1 votes:

Witness99: Throw a steampack of frozen creamed spinach in the microwave, saute some onions with butter, scramble the eggs, add garlic salt and pepper, add the steamed spinach cream stuff.  Chop up some green onions to garnish if it's Sunday.


If I was emperor, I'd hire you as my chef.

And when you served me that, I'd have you publicly executed
2014-04-05 05:34:44 PM  
1 votes:

dbaggins: What kind of idiot clicks on a link titled "Nine mistakes you're making with scrambled eggs......" and the Huffington Post icon, then gets all indignant saying "Shut up HuffPo!  Don't tell ME how to scramble my eggs!"


If you didn't want to hear how HuffPo thinks you should scramble your eggs then why the heck did you click the link AND read the article?


If U.S. production of righteous indignation falls, I'm blaming you
2014-04-05 04:57:57 PM  
1 votes:

bratface: I use 3 eggs (one whole egg plus two yolks) & about 1 teaspoon water. Whip gently, add two teaspoons of butter to a non-stick pan and cook on low heat until just slightly wet, season with salt & pepper. These are the creamiest, yummiest scrambled eggs I have ever had.


[eatingwdw.files.wordpress.com image 782x766]


That looks like a cyst I had removed about 13 years ago.
2014-04-05 04:52:09 PM  
1 votes:

zepher: I'll stick with Alton Brown's scrambled egg recipe.
HuffPo can eat a bowl of dicks.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/perfect-scrambled-egg s- recipe.html


This is a food thread. You can't just throw that around. I believe you have to say how they should be prepared.
2014-04-05 04:30:58 PM  
1 votes:

sendtodave: sprgrss: I never liked scrambled eggs by themselves until I tried the Gordon Ramsay method.  I will never go back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUP7U5vTMM0

Interesting.  It's similar to a classic french omelette, where you stir and cook in the pan, making small curbs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57afEWn-QDg



What a small curb might look like?

www.sfmta.com
2014-04-05 03:59:34 PM  
1 votes:

omeganuepsilon: Fark Infested Waters: I am so farking over these millenial bloggers who try to tell you how do to anything...Fark them right in their backside. Whether it is eggs or the farking oxford comma....Fark the fark off...seriously.

This.  Fluffly eggs are a sin of the highest order.

I like mine a bit on the dry side.  Add cheddar late in the process so it's not all diffused into the eggs. The point is to have melted cheese and eggs, not add cheese so it's indistinguishable from the eggs.

Occasionally crispy bacon or sausage(also added late).  Sausage can be good when mixed/covered with american cheese so that the meat retains the spice and doesn't flavor the eggs so much, so as it's a spicy gooey nugget of flavor within the eggs.

Anything else in the eggs while cooking is also a sin.  Anything on the eggs after but salt is a sin. Exception, mayo for a breakfast sammige/burrito.

fark your salsa, katsup, mustard, horseradish, etc. Putting them on eggs is about as bad as putting them on icecream.


You're obviously quite cultured.

/Juevos rancheros...
2014-04-05 03:49:54 PM  
1 votes:

meow said the dog: GWSuperfan: Has anyone paged The English Major yet?

Thankfully no.


don't you mean: Fully the thanks of this is no.
2014-04-05 03:34:49 PM  
1 votes:

sendtodave: [img.fark.net image 711x531]'

SHAZAM


why would you use a plate and fork?
I have recently started using a bowl and spoon.
So much easier to eat!
2014-04-05 03:03:13 PM  
1 votes:

FC Exile: Butcher knife up to the neck gets the best results.


Jesco?
Jessie?
Elvis?

/you just never know who ya gonna git.
2014-04-05 02:51:47 PM  
1 votes:

GWSuperfan: Has anyone paged The English Major yet?


Thankfully no.
2014-04-05 02:49:18 PM  
1 votes:
I am so farking over these millenial bloggers who try to tell you how do to anything...Fark them right in their backside. Whether it is eggs or the farking oxford comma....Fark the fark off...seriously.
2014-04-05 02:45:50 PM  
1 votes:
"Do you like eggs?"

She laughed. She looked at me, so I laughed too.

Wolfe scowled. "Confound it, are eggs comical? Do you know how to scramble eggs, Mrs. Valdon?"
"Yes, of course."

"To use Mr. Goodwin's favorite locution, one will get you ten that you don't. I'll scramble eggs for your breakfast and we'll see. Tell me forty minutes before you're ready."

Her eyes widened. "Forty minutes?"

"Yes. I knew you didn't know."
2014-04-05 02:45:11 PM  
1 votes:
Also the vote against the link of this is the vote for independence in the egg cooking. We have the power!
2014-04-05 02:44:15 PM  
1 votes:

WTFDYW: Make the god damned things how ever you like them. The only ways you can f*ck them up is if you use rotten eggs (unlikely because you would know as soon as you cracked it open), or if you burn them.

/f*ck HuffPo


This. I have provided to you the vote of that which says SMART because as is known by we this is the most commonly used feature of the Fark.com website.
2014-04-05 02:44:11 PM  
1 votes:
How a scrambled egg should be done:


img.fark.net
2014-04-05 02:42:09 PM  
1 votes:
FTFA "Don't Overcook"

www.strat-talk.com
2014-04-05 02:39:34 PM  
1 votes:
10. Do not have reliance on HuffPo for anything that is not the leftist political commentary.
 
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