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(Huffington Post)   Nine mistakes you're making with scrambled eggs, including adding milk. But it seems orange juice is still okay to add to the mix   (huffingtonpost.com ) divider line
    More: PSA, HuffPost Taste, milk, Julia Child  
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14811 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Apr 2014 at 2:35 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-04-05 02:40:12 PM  
12 votes:
make them how you like them.
2014-04-05 02:43:13 PM  
10 votes:
Make the god damned things how ever you like them. The only ways you can f*ck them up is if you use rotten eggs (unlikely because you would know as soon as you cracked it open), or if you burn them.

/f*ck HuffPo
2014-04-05 02:42:05 PM  
5 votes:
Over easy or nothing. I like dipping toast in the runny yolk
2014-04-05 12:53:14 PM  
5 votes:
Wife turned me on to Ramsay's way of cooking eggs; no salt during cooking, stir almost constantly, low and slow.  My scrambled eggs kick all kinds of ass now.
2014-04-05 03:03:07 PM  
3 votes:

Ablejack: Anyone handy with pots and pans knows every tip huffpo provided there is correct.
For those who feel their otherwise prepared scrambled eggs are already good enough; you're right. They're good enough for you.


Okay, I had to click the link after this comment.  Because clearly I might have been missing some Great Secrets.

HuffPo links make my computer barf.  Actually, most FARK links make my computer barf.  So you understand, clicking the link is actually an undertaking of great peril, and not something that I choose to do lightly.

Synopsis of the article:  Don't burn 'em, don't use shiatty eggs, don't ignore them, don't add weird crap to them.

I can't wait for the article on 7 Things You Never Knew About Pouring a Glass Of Water.  (Do you know which end is up?  You might be surprised!)
2014-04-05 02:45:11 PM  
3 votes:
Also the vote against the link of this is the vote for independence in the egg cooking. We have the power!
2014-04-05 02:41:56 PM  
3 votes:

Kevin Lomax: Didn't Huff Post used to be a political blog? When did it turn into Buzzfeed?


When they realized that their readers prefer fluff.
2014-04-05 02:41:26 PM  
3 votes:
Simple rule for the best scrambled eggs: crack the eggs directly in the pan and whisk with a fork the entire cooking time. Season and enjoy.
2014-04-05 02:39:40 PM  
3 votes:
Milk?  No.  Heavy cream?  Yes.
2014-04-05 10:50:38 PM  
2 votes:
Missing: Cook your eggs in bacon grease .... mmmmm
2014-04-05 04:23:14 PM  
2 votes:
Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey,
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore
As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door.
'Bad condensor, that,' I muttered, 'vibrating the icebox door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Not to sound like a complainer, but, in an inept half-gainer,
I provoked my bowl to tip and spill its contents on the floor.
Stupefied, I came to muddle over that increasing puddle,
Burgeoning deluge of that which I at present do adore -
Snowy Tuscan wholesomeness exclusively produced offshore -
Purg'ed here for evermore.

And the pool so white and silky, filled me with a sense of milky
Ardor of the type fantastic of a loss not known before,
So that now, to still the throbbing of my heart, while gently sobbing,
I retreated, heading straightway for the tempting icebox door -
Heedless of that pitter-patter tapping at the icebox door -
I resolved to have some more.

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
'This,' said I, 'requires an extra dram of milk, my favorite pour.'
To the icebox I aspired, motivated to admire
How its avocado pigment complemented my decor.
Then I grasped its woodgrain handle - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams of many Tuscans I had known before
But the light inside was broken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only words there spoken were my whispered words, 'No more!'
Coke and beer, some ketchup I set eyes on, and an apple core -
Merely this and nothing more.

Back toward the table turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
'Surely,' said I, 'surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

From the window came a stirring, then, with an incessant purring,
Inside stepped a kitten; mannerlessly did she me ignore.
Not the least obeisance made she; not a minute stopped or stayed she;
But, with mien of lord or lady, withdrew to my dining floor -
Pounced upon the pool of Tuscan spreading o'er my dining floor -
Licked, and lapped, and supped some more.

Then this tiny cat beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grand enthusiasm of the countenance she wore,
Toward the mess she showed no pity, 'til I said, 'Well, hello, kitty!'
Sought she me with pretty eyes that seemed to open some rapport.
So I pleaded, 'Tell me, tell me what it is that you implore!'
Quoth the kitten, 'Get some more.'


/not mine
2014-04-05 03:23:25 PM  
2 votes:
The correct method is to add the eggs to a pan of cooked chorizo.
2014-04-05 03:22:37 PM  
2 votes:
Yeah I don't care how delicious everyone says they are. I just don't like my eggs "creamy" or runny. I like them whipped up and cooked fluffy and firm.
2014-04-05 02:44:15 PM  
2 votes:

WTFDYW: Make the god damned things how ever you like them. The only ways you can f*ck them up is if you use rotten eggs (unlikely because you would know as soon as you cracked it open), or if you burn them.

/f*ck HuffPo


This. I have provided to you the vote of that which says SMART because as is known by we this is the most commonly used feature of the Fark.com website.
2014-04-06 07:49:27 AM  
1 vote:
Oh, and ringing up cartons of eggs does not constitute 'being in the egg business'.
2014-04-06 07:45:15 AM  
1 vote:
 WTFDYW: I have chickens, I cook in a restaurant, so, while I'm getting a kick out of these comments, you apparently have never had good eggs. Find a small farm. Give 'em two bucks for a dozen of their eggs, you will understand.
2014-04-06 07:40:27 AM  
1 vote:
FTW if you need someone to tell you how to make scrambled eggs, you're a D-bag, stay the f*ck out of the kitchen. No, there nothing you can help with, just set the table.
2014-04-05 10:33:49 PM  
1 vote:

WTFDYW: An egg is an egg. Free range eggs are no different than eggs from a caged bird or a cage free bird. They all eat the same diet.


You obviously know absolutely nothing about chickens.

Perhaps less than zero.
2014-04-05 09:54:58 PM  
1 vote:

WTFDYW: Marisyana: I use free range eggs and whip them with my immersion blender.  I melt some Kerrygold butter in the pan, add salt and pepper, pour in the eggs, scrape from the outside in until still wet but not runny, then put them in a food jar and bring them to work for breakfast.  For variety I'll saute a couple of chopped up sausage patties before adding the eggs.  I tried Ramsay's way, but they were too mushy for my taste.

An egg is an egg. Free range eggs are no different than eggs from a caged bird or a cage free bird. They all eat the same diet.


Taste does vary between chicken breeds though.  Egg farms tend to all use the same breeds or similar enough to produce what amounts to the "standard" egg at any rate, as where "free range" are all sorts of various breeds.
2014-04-05 07:27:10 PM  
1 vote:

The Southern Dandy: 2. Gordon Ramsay's way to cook scrambled eggs is off the hook yo. IMHO.


Yes.

I worked at a place known for our eggs when I was in college, and my chef had me using almost the same method.

Dude also taught me how to cook chicken so everyone always loves it, but that's not something you can really teach in a YouTube video.  Also a really interesting breakfast potatoes unlike anything I've ever seen served elsewhere.  It's essentially potatoes, boiled in beer, garlic and grilled onions.  Slowly cook off the beer.  To serve sear them in oil in a pan, then smother in whatever blend of cheese you like, and other veggies/meats if desired.  Bake that off in a bowl until hot throughout.  Maybe brown the cheese a little.  Garnish with green onion and sour cream (if you like sour cream.)

Sorry, I'm not good at writing up how I cook stuff.  That's the basic idea.  Substituting hard cider for the beer works even better.  It gives the potatoes a really sweet while still garlicky and salty flavor.
2014-04-05 05:21:45 PM  
1 vote:

CruJones: Cholula hot sauce on top.


crow202.org
It's got the right pepper/vinegar balance for eggs, most definitely.
2014-04-05 05:07:02 PM  
1 vote:
No Jacques Pepin links? Posers. The man invented eggs.
2014-04-05 04:57:57 PM  
1 vote:

bratface: I use 3 eggs (one whole egg plus two yolks) & about 1 teaspoon water. Whip gently, add two teaspoons of butter to a non-stick pan and cook on low heat until just slightly wet, season with salt & pepper. These are the creamiest, yummiest scrambled eggs I have ever had.


[eatingwdw.files.wordpress.com image 782x766]


That looks like a cyst I had removed about 13 years ago.
2014-04-05 04:52:09 PM  
1 vote:

zepher: I'll stick with Alton Brown's scrambled egg recipe.
HuffPo can eat a bowl of dicks.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/perfect-scrambled-egg s- recipe.html


This is a food thread. You can't just throw that around. I believe you have to say how they should be prepared.
2014-04-05 04:14:05 PM  
1 vote:

bratface: I use 3 eggs (one whole egg plus two yolks) & about 1 teaspoon water. Whip gently, add two teaspoons of butter to a non-stick pan and cook on low heat until just slightly wet, season with salt & pepper. These are the creamiest, yummiest scrambled eggs I have ever had.


[eatingwdw.files.wordpress.com image 782x766]


Scrambled eggs aren't supposed to be creamy you degenerate!
2014-04-05 03:59:37 PM  
1 vote:

HighZoolander: meow said the dog: GWSuperfan: Has anyone paged The English Major yet?

Thankfully no.

don't you mean: Fully the thanks of this is no.


Nope.
kth
2014-04-05 03:46:15 PM  
1 vote:

Mister Peejay: You put eggs in a pan, you scramble them until they look like scrambled eggs.  If they stick to the pan then you are using too much heat.  For better results, butter the pan and make diced potatoes before making the eggs.

It's so simple that even I managed to figure it out.


Even better, start with bacon, then the home fries, then the eggs.  That's what I'm having for breakfast tomorrow.

Now to obtain the bacon and eggs - I live in the country so i can get them from the farmers. Possibly some cinnamon rolls from the Mennonite ladies who sell the eggs if they aren't out.
2014-04-05 03:38:03 PM  
1 vote:

Arachnophobe: What's this about adding orange juice? I've never heard of this, and I have to admit to some curiosity.


It's all about the citric acid. Or the acid. The Orange thing would technically work, however I would be able to taste the orange. In hotels and restaurants we use lemon juice or a bit of champagne vinegar. The acid enhances the color of the egg, and prevents discoloration over longer periods of time. The acid helps the egg curd cook quickly and improves the texture.
On a smaller scale, the acid helps kill bacteria.
In my opinion the article uses the example of orange juice as it is rather unknown to most people, whereas vinegar or lemon juice might make more sense to the common cook.
Also, eggwhites beat in a copper bowl are also fluffier
2014-04-05 03:17:17 PM  
1 vote:

NeoCortex42: I mix in honey with my scrambled eggs. Why?  Because I like it. As long as what you end up with tastes good to you, it's right.


Taste is subjective, sure.  But you're still wrong about adding honey.
2014-04-05 03:14:49 PM  
1 vote:
I mix in honey with my scrambled eggs. Why?  Because I like it. As long as what you end up with tastes good to you, it's right.

Also love some salsa on top of eggs.
2014-04-05 03:13:36 PM  
1 vote:

sprgrss: I never liked scrambled eggs by themselves until I tried the Gordon Ramsay method.  I will never go back.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUP7U5vTMM0

Interesting.  It's similar to a classic french omelette, where you stir and cook in the pan, making small curbs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57afEWn-QDg
2014-04-05 03:13:28 PM  
1 vote:
See, I actually cook my food, so runny-ass scrambled eggs is out of the question.
2014-04-05 03:09:28 PM  
1 vote:
My big revelation in making awesome eggs was real butter not Pam in the pan.

Also, Colby cheese ... Yum!
2014-04-05 03:08:16 PM  
1 vote:
I like my scrambled eggs with milk and well done.  So there.
2014-04-05 03:04:03 PM  
1 vote:

Soup4Bonnie: Wife turned me on to Ramsay's way of cooking eggs; no salt during cooking, stir almost constantly, low and slow.  My scrambled eggs kick all kinds of ass now.


Hell to the yes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKWsOLR4wOE

I found that on youtube a couple months ago, and while I thought they looked too creamy or undercooked in the video, I was very happily wrong.  You can get them fully cooked but still creamy this way.
2014-04-05 02:55:34 PM  
1 vote:
You put eggs in a pan, you scramble them until they look like scrambled eggs.  If they stick to the pan then you are using too much heat.  For better results, butter the pan and make diced potatoes before making the eggs.

It's so simple that even I managed to figure it out.
2014-04-05 02:51:23 PM  
1 vote:
Fark you and your opinion.  I like whipped eggs with a touch of milk.  Makes fluffy non green eggs.
2014-04-05 02:49:31 PM  
1 vote:
I use 3 eggs (one whole egg plus two yolks) & about 1 teaspoon water. Whip gently, add two teaspoons of butter to a non-stick pan and cook on low heat until just slightly wet, season with salt & pepper. These are the creamiest, yummiest scrambled eggs I have ever had.


eatingwdw.files.wordpress.com
2014-04-05 02:49:18 PM  
1 vote:
I am so farking over these millenial bloggers who try to tell you how do to anything...Fark them right in their backside. Whether it is eggs or the farking oxford comma....Fark the fark off...seriously.
2014-04-05 02:46:32 PM  
1 vote:

meow said the dog: WTFDYW: Make the god damned things how ever you like them. The only ways you can f*ck them up is if you use rotten eggs (unlikely because you would know as soon as you cracked it open), or if you burn them.

/f*ck HuffPo

This. I have provided to you the vote of that which says SMART because as is known by we this is the most commonly used feature of the Fark.com website.


The self of me is very honored to have your vote on the site of Fark.com.
2014-04-05 02:44:11 PM  
1 vote:
How a scrambled egg should be done:


img.fark.net
2014-04-05 02:43:22 PM  
1 vote:

ebenbane: LeroyBourne: Milk?  No.  Heavy cream?  Yes.

Yogurt and sour cream work too


So does coconut milk. Thick unsweetened.
2014-04-05 02:42:09 PM  
1 vote:
FTFA "Don't Overcook"

www.strat-talk.com
2014-04-05 02:40:55 PM  
1 vote:

LeroyBourne: Milk?  No.  Heavy cream?  Yes.


Yogurt and sour cream work too
2014-04-05 02:40:35 PM  
1 vote:
Milk is only added to help keep the result from being too dry. It's a short order cook trick to save time.
2014-04-05 02:39:34 PM  
1 vote:
10. Do not have reliance on HuffPo for anything that is not the leftist political commentary.
2014-04-05 02:38:59 PM  
1 vote:
Didn't Huff Post used to be a political blog? When did it turn into Buzzfeed?
 
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