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(CBS Minnesota)   Teen sets bags of bird seed on fire to mask shoplifting spree. In other news, bird seed makes a great fire starter   (minnesota.cbslocal.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Blaine Walmart, tags, shoplifting  
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3537 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Apr 2014 at 1:02 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-04 11:09:41 PM  
c95954.r54.cf3.rackcdn.com
Guaranteed to make birds feel cheep.
 
2014-04-04 11:45:05 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-04-04 11:49:45 PM  
small flammable grains, yeah i can see that
 
2014-04-05 12:43:45 AM  
Well, chickadee, you'd better swallow your pride because your goose is cooked now

/You'll fry for this
 
2014-04-05 01:05:18 AM  

Metalupis: small flammable grains, yeah i can see that


See, gluten is bad for you
 
2014-04-05 01:07:42 AM  
Considering it's pretty useless as bird food (for the majority of pet species at least), it's good to see they've found SOME point for it.
 
2014-04-05 01:11:15 AM  
In RELATED news. Related.
 
2014-04-05 01:13:54 AM  
To the writer: Is she a teen or a woman?
 
2014-04-05 01:21:06 AM  
Well the idea seems sound,  cause a diversion and steal while everyone is running around like headless chickens.

The execution,  not so good.
 
2014-04-05 01:29:39 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: To the writer: Is she a teen or a woman?


She's 19. It could go either way.
 
2014-04-05 01:38:01 AM  

Principal Clarinet: drjekel_mrhyde: To the writer: Is she a teen or a woman?

She's 19. It could go either way.


I bet she don't remember the Queen of Soul.
 
2014-04-05 01:39:07 AM  
Pfft. Amatuer.

1. Pocket screwdriver from automotive
2. Extra large can of flammable penetrating oil from automotive
3. Stab screwdriver into can. Light can. Toss into the huge rack of 1gal oil jugs
4. Profit?
 
2014-04-05 01:44:11 AM  
Anybody follow her tweets?
 
2014-04-05 01:48:16 AM  

Boo_Guy: Well the idea seems sound,  cause a diversion and steal while everyone is running around like headless chickens.

The execution,  not so good.


Done on a Sunday evening in a poor Walmart you probably wouldn't be noticed in the mass of people deciding "fark, I was in line 30 minutes. I'm taking this from the fire"
 
2014-04-05 01:51:05 AM  
chrismiller1.tripod.com
"No, I don't want WILD bird seed ..."

/swallups
 
2014-04-05 01:52:13 AM  
Let's cover our misdemeanor, shoplifting, with a felony, arson and profit?
 
2014-04-05 02:01:24 AM  
In other news, bird seed makes a great fire starter

I know a better one

img.fark.net
 
2014-04-05 02:19:16 AM  

Mega Steve: In other news, bird seed makes a great fire starter

I know a better one

[img.fark.net image 600x450]


www.overgroundonline.com
 
2014-04-05 02:19:33 AM  
I AM the firestarter.
 
2014-04-05 02:27:25 AM  
She would have burnt the place down had she known how flammable the chip isle is... anyone ever light doritos on fire? they go up faster than toilet paper
 
2014-04-05 02:30:02 AM  
www.curbsideclassic.com
 
2014-04-05 02:37:23 AM  

DrZiffle: I AM the firestarter.


Shut your mouth Taco Bell
 
2014-04-05 02:48:51 AM  

scatteredmind: She would have burnt the place down had she known how flammable the chip isle is... anyone ever light doritos on fire? they go up faster than toilet paper


No, they don't. They burn for a long time with the oil. And cheese snacks are nice fire starters for wet wood. Better'n gasoline.
 
2014-04-05 02:53:31 AM  

shift_DAWG: "No, I don't want WILD bird seed ..."

/swallups


Ah, the old Talking Image Hosted by Tripod Meme!

Still hilarious!
 
2014-04-05 03:48:30 AM  
So....

Shoplifting, even if it rose to the level of grand theft, that's maybe some jail time, but more likely probation and community service. First-degree arson with six-figure property damage? You're looking at a couple years in prison. Big-girl prison, sweetie.

But it seemed like a good idea at the time, right?
 
Skr
2014-04-05 04:10:55 AM  
Live about a mile from the place, and usually would go there around that time of morning. Pretty f'ed up. Lot of the typical walmart oddballs ,but overall was/is better than the most "people of walmart" moments.

Weird to see my neighborhood in the news though with random pockets of mobile home courts, and  low income sides/by/sides it shouldn't be too unexpected to see something pop up.
 
2014-04-05 04:29:34 AM  
Twisted firestarter
 
2014-04-05 04:42:31 AM  
scifiblock.com
 
2014-04-05 05:27:33 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: To the writer: Is she a teen or a woman?


cbsminnesota.files.wordpress.com

Based on the picture, I would say they arrested the teen's mom.

But hey, maybe she's just tired.
 
GBB
2014-04-05 05:56:32 AM  
www.grownasgamers.com
"That's not a candle!!!"
 
2014-04-05 06:57:59 AM  
So much for hot merchandise...
 
2014-04-05 07:18:10 AM  
 
2014-04-05 08:13:31 AM  

Gyrfalcon: So....

Shoplifting, even if it rose to the level of grand theft, that's maybe some jail time, but more likely probation and community service. First-degree arson with six-figure property damage? You're looking at a couple years in prison. Big-girl prison, sweetie.

But it seemed like a good idea at the time, right?


A couple years?  In MI, that would be 20 years, used to be 10 years but they just doubled it last year.

A relative burned someone else's shed back in the 80's, they threw the full 10 years at him.  I bet he flinched when he heard the news about doubling the jail time.
 
2014-04-05 09:25:49 AM  

wildcardjack: Boo_Guy: Well the idea seems sound,  cause a diversion and steal while everyone is running around like headless chickens.

The execution,  not so good.

Done on a Sunday evening in a poor Walmart you probably wouldn't be noticed in the mass of people deciding "fark, I was in line 30 minutes. I'm taking this from the fire"


Won't be surprised to see this happen at the Walmart in Evergreen Park, IL.

I HATE shopping there *but* the prices are way cheaper than Jewel, so I typically hit this ghetto hole before 9 on a Sunday morning. Put on the iPod and just plow through the joint. Any other time it SUCKS.
 
2014-04-05 09:26:16 AM  
img.fark.net

/Old school
 
2014-04-05 10:01:02 AM  

fat_free: wildcardjack: Boo_Guy: Well the idea seems sound,  cause a diversion and steal while everyone is running around like headless chickens.

The execution,  not so good.

Done on a Sunday evening in a poor Walmart you probably wouldn't be noticed in the mass of people deciding "fark, I was in line 30 minutes. I'm taking this from the fire"

Won't be surprised to see this happen at the Walmart in Evergreen Park, IL.

I HATE shopping there *but* the prices are way cheaper than Jewel, so I typically hit this ghetto hole before 9 on a Sunday morning. Put on the iPod and just plow through the joint. Any other time it SUCKS.


First time I have seen my home town referenced on fark and as a bonus you included the Walmart across from the Plaza. A++++++ will do business with again!!!
 
2014-04-05 10:17:55 AM  

Emposter: drjekel_mrhyde: To the writer: Is she a teen or a woman?

Based on the picture, I would say they arrested the teen's mom.

But hey, maybe she's just tired.


Did someone have to tell her twice?
 
2014-04-05 11:53:30 AM  

GregGates: fat_free: wildcardjack: Boo_Guy: Well the idea seems sound,  cause a diversion and steal while everyone is running around like headless chickens.

The execution,  not so good.

Done on a Sunday evening in a poor Walmart you probably wouldn't be noticed in the mass of people deciding "fark, I was in line 30 minutes. I'm taking this from the fire"

Won't be surprised to see this happen at the Walmart in Evergreen Park, IL.

I HATE shopping there *but* the prices are way cheaper than Jewel, so I typically hit this ghetto hole before 9 on a Sunday morning. Put on the iPod and just plow through the joint. Any other time it SUCKS.

First time I have seen my home town referenced on fark and as a bonus you included the Walmart across from the Plaza. A++++++ will do business with again!!!


Evergreen Park has an interesting two-pronged municipal revenue model:

1. Attract low-income black Chicagoans with discount stores like Wal-Mart & Aldi (increasing sales tax revenues),
2. Pull them over on 95th St for DWB
3. Profit!

/New Mariano's will be nice
//Lagen's closed recently
 
2014-04-05 11:54:36 AM  
Teens (sigh) .. it was teenage minds came up with ObamaCare
 
2014-04-05 12:19:45 PM  
I would sentence her to working it off in a Wal Mart, but thers that whole "Cruel and Unusual Punishment" thing.
 
2014-04-05 06:20:45 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: Teens (sigh) .. it was teenage minds came up with ObamaCare


Conservatives came up with Obamacare.
 
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