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(People Magazine)   Here's the essay that got 17-year-old Kwasi Enin into all eight Ivy League schools. It isn't as action-packed as your own Big Bang fanfic attempt, nor does it finish with 'When I woke up, it was all a dream ... or was it?" but it's OK   (people.com) divider line 150
    More: Followup, Kwasi Enin, Ivy League, essays  
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7373 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2014 at 12:41 PM (15 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-04 01:11:40 PM

ArkAngel: I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400.
My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA.

I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I fr ...


Awesome. Can you write me one?
 
2014-04-04 01:12:06 PM
Not really.
 
2014-04-04 01:12:32 PM
More his picture got him in than anything.
Except that name.
 
2014-04-04 01:13:48 PM

MrKevvy: jso2897: They don't teach you that in the Core.

But they do teach you that it's Corps.
(Pronounced like "core" not "corpse" unless you want to make someone very angry.)


Really?
 
2014-04-04 01:15:05 PM

ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha: What is this a follow up to?


This story.
 
2014-04-04 01:15:21 PM
great. Another loser musician.
 
2014-04-04 01:15:42 PM
I applied to Dartmouth with a essay discussing spitting in urinals.   I attended a state school.
 
2014-04-04 01:16:30 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: Attention Whore of Babylon: I want to make a reference to "The Jerk," but I don't want my intentions to be misunderstood.  Therefore, you'll have to say the obvious line yourselves.

[www.gaeastore.com image 261x356]

He hates these cans?


I say that all the time when I'm playing Diablo 3 and smashing all the vases in the Silver Spire on the way to school the big guy.  So..."Jerk" and Diablo...yeah, I'm a keeper.
 
2014-04-04 01:17:31 PM

Philip J. Fry: I applied to Dartmouth with a essay discussing spitting in urinals.   I attended a state school.


My wife has a friend that got into Brown with an essay about Sponge Bob.

Oh, Brown!
 
2014-04-04 01:17:45 PM

Karma Curmudgeon: MJMaloney187: Yes, it is.

Well, there's my answer.  And not it's not.


Yeah, it is. It must be extremely embarrassing for the Ivy League schools, too. Had one or two picked this kid up, it wouldn't have been news, but they all picked him up. Flat busted.

Just out of curiosity, why do you think this kid was accepted to every Ivy League school?
 
2014-04-04 01:17:52 PM

MrKevvy: jso2897: They don't teach you that in the Core.

But they do teach you that it's Corps.
(Pronounced like "core" not "corpse" unless you want to make someone very angry.)


WOOSH!
 
2014-04-04 01:19:54 PM
My college assay got me into a good school.

Dear Penthouse;

I never thought this would happen to me but...

Turns out the admissions counselor was new to the city and felt lonely.  After a three hour one on one interview I got into the university with tons of financial aid.
 
2014-04-04 01:21:36 PM

MJMaloney187: Karma Curmudgeon: MJMaloney187: Yes, it is.

Well, there's my answer.  And not it's not.

Yeah, it is. It must be extremely embarrassing for the Ivy League schools, too. Had one or two picked this kid up, it wouldn't have been news, but they all picked him up. Flat busted.

Just out of curiosity, why do you think this kid was accepted to every Ivy League school?


Lots of reasons.
 
2014-04-04 01:22:33 PM
I believe his photo holds more clues to his acceptance than the essay does.  That's the problem with affirmative actions racists assume he got in because of race... he wait a second...
 
2014-04-04 01:23:48 PM

MrKevvy: Not really.


dude. stop. get some coffee and come back in 10 minutes
 
2014-04-04 01:24:28 PM

RumsfeldsReplacement: DerAppie: Maybe it is just me, but I'm not.seeing anything special. The required life changing event, the token trumped up community work and the mandatory "still learning and grateful every day". Just what is so special about this letter?

A few things actually.

1.  The fact that he is able to articulate, in English, the ways he can connect music with other academic disciplines would be impressive for anyone, let alone a 17 year old.

2.  There are no wasted words.  It's honest, and it's a person talking about what makes him tick.  That's what all college essays should be.  It successfully answers the question "Who are you?", it's polished, and it's to the point.

It's not a damn thesis, and it's not supposed to be.  But any college that read this would immediately want him as a student.


No wasted words? He used over a page yet actually says very little.

Also: stop infantilising 17 year old people. I would be sorely disappointed in any 17 year old who could not bullshiat a connection between any given activity and various academic disciplines. Especially since that person has weeks to work on the bullshiat.
 
2014-04-04 01:26:29 PM

Gunny Highway: MJMaloney187: Karma Curmudgeon: MJMaloney187: Yes, it is.

Well, there's my answer.  And not it's not.

Yeah, it is. It must be extremely embarrassing for the Ivy League schools, too. Had one or two picked this kid up, it wouldn't have been news, but they all picked him up. Flat busted.

Just out of curiosity, why do you think this kid was accepted to every Ivy League school?

Lots of reasons.


He's basically the definition of Ivy League admissions bait, but I don't think a first generation kid from China with the same qualifications would manage to go eight for eight
 
2014-04-04 01:27:35 PM
If he had a good jump shot he could've of gotten a full ride.
 
2014-04-04 01:28:59 PM
As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.
 
2014-04-04 01:29:10 PM

ArkAngel: On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.
I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.


What is "Early 90s internet flotsam that I somehow still remember?"

/always be sure to wear suncreen
 
2014-04-04 01:31:50 PM
That essay was really not very well-written at all.
 
2014-04-04 01:32:22 PM

rumpelstiltskin: It's gotta be a hoax. You can't start the third sentence of your essay with a conjunction and still get into Harvard, can you? They would have stopped reading right there.


His essay employs weak grammar and usage.  Unfortunately, that is probably the best you will see from the current crop of snowflakes.

The recipes for proper writing have been placed on the back shelf of the library.

2.bp.blogspot.com
This is such a simple, elegant cover for a simple, elegant book.

And ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carden_Method

Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
Throw the cow over the fence some hay.
 
2014-04-04 01:32:27 PM
Serious question: Does anyone in admissions actually read the essays?

I had a friend a few years ago who worked in the admissions office for the faculty of medicine at a university up here in Canada. At the time part of the application package was a one page "life history" essay. Her job was to go through all the applications and reject any that deviated from the application protocol. According to her the sole purpose of this essay was to ensure you followed the instructions. Any deviations from format and your were rejected: Skip the essay? Rejected. Write five pages when they asked for one? Rejected. The theory being that if you can't follow simple instructions you're not suitable for med school. It was a simple method of weeding 1000's of applications down to a manageable number. Likewise spelling: Any spelling mistakes anywhere in the application? Rejected. After that transcripts and references determined who got interviews, and the interview was the final hurdle.
 
2014-04-04 01:33:17 PM

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: Gunny Highway: MJMaloney187: Karma Curmudgeon: MJMaloney187: Yes, it is.

Well, there's my answer.  And not it's not.

Yeah, it is. It must be extremely embarrassing for the Ivy League schools, too. Had one or two picked this kid up, it wouldn't have been news, but they all picked him up. Flat busted.

Just out of curiosity, why do you think this kid was accepted to every Ivy League school?

Lots of reasons.

He's basically the definition of Ivy League admissions bait, but I don't think a first generation kid from China with the same qualifications would manage to go eight for eight


There are already plenty of Asians in the Ivy Leage schools, that's why. It's all about diversity.
 
2014-04-04 01:33:48 PM

MooseBayou: Unfortunately, that is probably the best you will see from the current crop of snowflakes.


BACK IN MYYYY DAY....
 
2014-04-04 01:40:00 PM

MooseBayou: rumpelstiltskin: It's gotta be a hoax. You can't start the third sentence of your essay with a conjunction and still get into Harvard, can you? They would have stopped reading right there.

His essay employs weak grammar and usage.  Unfortunately, that is probably the best you will see from the current crop of snowflakes.

The recipes for proper writing have been placed on the back shelf of the library.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x1223]
This is such a simple, elegant cover for a simple, elegant book.


This book was required reading for my senior year AP English class.  Obviously, writing isn't one of this kid's strong points.  Thankfully it sounds like he is going pre-med instead of anything involving real writing.
 
2014-04-04 01:40:34 PM

bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.


You sound white.
 
2014-04-04 01:41:05 PM
Dear Harvard

I the liutenant of a 3 man Rapid Tactical Force Team, in one of the nation's largest indoor retail shopping centers. My job job is to defend and protect the lives of the many shoppers who currently vist this center, and in my line of work you cannot be too careful.

I am in a high-risk job. It is not the Mall of America, but Ill tell you what its no podunk mall either.I am a responsible citizen who has made the choice to carry at all times. I defend others. If something happens at the Mall then I would be the hero, not those of you who are making fun of me for no reason. Yes Im not a Green Beret but guess what neither are you and unlike you I have to face unruly shoppers every day.My REAL problem is that, like any LEO, I have enemies because of my job. They may have access to high-powered rifles. My job starts and ends at the same time every day. Although I use four rotating routes to drive to and from work, I am still vulnerable during the walk to and from my car. This is the time that I load up on the trauma plates because I DO NOT WANT TO BE SHOT DEAD!Also, someone said that my Tac Team doesn't get training. Not true. We meet at the range every night and shoot 400 rounds each through weapons that closely resemble our duty setup. We also practice unarmed combat. I am a Master of three martial arts including ninjitsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls. I don't think any of you are working as hard as I am to be prepared. I asked a serious question about tactical armor and I wanted a serious response. If you want to laugh at somebody, try laughing at the sheep out there who go to the mall unarmed trusting in me to stand guiard over their lives like a God.

Hugs
MN
 
2014-04-04 01:41:54 PM

RumsfeldsReplacement: DerAppie: Maybe it is just me, but I'm not.seeing anything special. The required life changing event, the token trumped up community work and the mandatory "still learning and grateful every day". Just what is so special about this letter?

A few things actually.

1.  The fact that he is able to articulate, in English, the ways he can connect music with other academic disciplines would be impressive for anyone, let alone a 17 year old.

2.  There are no wasted words.  It's honest, and it's a person talking about what makes him tick.  That's what all college essays should be.  It successfully answers the question "Who are you?", it's polished, and it's to the point.

It's not a damn thesis, and it's not supposed to be.  But any college that read this would immediately want him as a student.


THIS
Most refreshing to see this clear insight into the mind of a visionary.
 Many folks can't see what he's up to, and what he is saying is a mystery.
Unless you've been doing the same types of thinking and acting; its just words and grammar errors.
He perfectly described my own experience with performances, incl music, trades, skills, careers.
Yeah, he should be given, red carpet style, every opportunity to See & Say things for others.

Music is the ability to transmit vision and emotion, without artifice, to enroll others into a different reality, giving the necessary permissions seamlessly, so as to appear as reality itself.
Like a masterpiece painting, it "takes you there" a form of time travel.
History does the same for me, like almost everything i "get into" its a "trip".
I learned long ago how to prevent a "trip" from becoming a "trap".

He will certainly make some innovations in Medicine, or any other field he attempts.
 
2014-04-04 01:42:26 PM

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: MrKevvy: jso2897: They don't teach you that in the Core.

But they do teach you that it's Corps.
(Pronounced like "core" not "corpse" unless you want to make someone very angry.)

[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 256x192]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlkK65y_-T4
cdn.frontpagemag.com
Rotten to the corpse
 
2014-04-04 01:45:35 PM

MJMaloney187: MrKevvy: Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: Affirmative Action in all it's Glory

As a former US Marine soldier, I cannot help to feel that its unfair, to allow this guy to get in into an Ivy school, when I fought for his freedom, in the Middle East.

It isn't just Affirmative Action.

Yes, it is.


The soft bigotry of low expectations. You can't determine an AA admittee from someone from the same social pool who wasn't an AA admittee.
 
2014-04-04 01:48:37 PM

bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.


You sound white (or generally not a member of a Title VII protected class).  Ever think of suggesting to your child they "switch teams"?  Just sayin...
 
2014-04-04 01:50:04 PM

TheSelphie: MooseBayou: rumpelstiltskin: It's gotta be a hoax. You can't start the third sentence of your essay with a conjunction and still get into Harvard, can you? They would have stopped reading right there.

His essay employs weak grammar and usage.  Unfortunately, that is probably the best you will see from the current crop of snowflakes.

The recipes for proper writing have been placed on the back shelf of the library.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x1223]
This is such a simple, elegant cover for a simple, elegant book.

This book was required reading for my senior year AP English class.  Obviously, writing isn't one of this kid's strong points.  Thankfully it sounds like he is going pre-med instead of anything involving real writing.


You're correct.  Accurate, explanatory communication is completely unimportant to doctors.

With his grasp of English usage, he should be a news reporter or anchor.  TV stations aren't looking for the Edwin Newman/William Safire/Eric Sevareid types these days.

OK, Safire wasn't TV.
 
2014-04-04 01:52:16 PM

Priapetic: bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.

You sound white (or generally not a member of a Title VII protected class).  Ever think of suggesting to your child they "switch teams"?  Just sayin...


What does being gay have to do with this...
 
2014-04-04 01:52:44 PM

MJMaloney187: Just out of curiosity, why do you think this kid was accepted to every Ivy League school?


I can't tell you exactly, I don't have his admission file. But it's funny that you think you know based upon 400 words and a picture.

There's this from Ambitwistor's link:

For one thing, he's a young man. "Colleges are looking for great boys," Cohen says. Application pools these days skew heavily toward girls: The U.S. Department of Education estimates that females comprised 57% of college students in degree-granting institutions last year. Colleges - especially elite ones - are struggling to keep male/female ratios even, so admitting academically gifted young men like Enin gives them an advantage.

He ranks No. 11 in a class of 647 at William Floyd, a large public school on Long Island's south shore. That puts him in the top 2% of his class. His SAT score, at 2,250 out of 2,400 points, puts him in the 99th percentile for African-American students.

He will also have taken 11 Advanced Placement courses by the time he graduates this spring. He's a musician who sings in the school's a capella group and volunteers at Stony Brook University Hospital's radiology department. Enin plans to study medicine, as did both of his parents. They immigrated to New York from Ghana in the 1980s and studied at public colleges nearby. Both are nurses.

Being a first-generation American from Ghana also helps him stand out, Cohen says


And as far as his essay, I'll just say this:   the precise whats and hows of the writing are less important for an entrance essay than the topic and how personally invested he is in it.  It's also much better as an application than he's getting credit for in this thread.  He takes an abstract concept: music, and gives several examples of how its pursuit has given him benefits that are applicable to other areas of life: leadership, creative thinking and community, specifically, and lists several notable achievements in the are without being overbearing about any of it.
 
2014-04-04 01:52:59 PM

Priapetic: bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.

You sound white (or generally not a member of a Title VII protected class).  Ever think of suggesting to your child they "switch teams"?  Just sayin...


You mean, get your child to "pass"?
 
2014-04-04 01:54:15 PM

Tyrosine: Serious question: Does anyone in admissions actually read the essays?

I had a friend a few years ago who worked in the admissions office for the faculty of medicine at a university up here in Canada. At the time part of the application package was a one page "life history" essay. Her job was to go through all the applications and reject any that deviated from the application protocol. According to her the sole purpose of this essay was to ensure you followed the instructions. Any deviations from format and your were rejected: Skip the essay? Rejected. Write five pages when they asked for one? Rejected. The theory being that if you can't follow simple instructions you're not suitable for med school. It was a simple method of weeding 1000's of applications down to a manageable number. Likewise spelling: Any spelling mistakes anywhere in the application? Rejected. After that transcripts and references determined who got interviews, and the interview was the final hurdle.


Well, if thats true about most schools, no wonder so many grads are clueless robots suited best for flippn burgers and sweeping floors. Stuff like what you describe kept me away from higher education, no regrets!
Everyone who knows me figures me to be college educated, when i want to blow someone's mind, i tell them i never finished Jr high... went to work instead, learning the whole time, and learning still.

What the essayist shows is the type of intelligence in thinking you'd want in the white house, or in the surgeon who is deciding your future...
 
2014-04-04 01:55:12 PM

Snowrise: Dear Harvard

I the liutenant of a 3 man Rapid Tactical Force Team, in one of the nation's largest indoor retail shopping centers. My job job is to defend and protect the lives of the many shoppers who currently vist this center, and in my line of work you cannot be too careful.

I am in a high-risk job. It is not the Mall of America, but Ill tell you what its no podunk mall either.I am a responsible citizen who has made the choice to carry at all times. I defend others. If something happens at the Mall then I would be the hero, not those of you who are making fun of me for no reason. Yes Im not a Green Beret but guess what neither are you and unlike you I have to face unruly shoppers every day.My REAL problem is that, like any LEO, I have enemies because of my job. They may have access to high-powered rifles. My job starts and ends at the same time every day. Although I use four rotating routes to drive to and from work, I am still vulnerable during the walk to and from my car. This is the time that I load up on the trauma plates because I DO NOT WANT TO BE SHOT DEAD!Also, someone said that my Tac Team doesn't get training. Not true. We meet at the range every night and shoot 400 rounds each through weapons that closely resemble our duty setup. We also practice unarmed combat. I am a Master of three martial arts including ninjitsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls. I don't think any of you are working as hard as I am to be prepared. I asked a serious question about tactical armor and I wanted a serious response. If you want to laugh at somebody, try laughing at the sheep out there who go to the mall unarmed trusting in me to stand guiard over their lives like a God.

Hugs
MN


Wow, haven't seen a Mall Ninja reference in a long time.  Well done.  Old School.
 
2014-04-04 01:55:28 PM
criticalmassesmedia.com
 
2014-04-04 01:56:19 PM
Ya'all are missin' da point.  It's this: Black Kid gets accepted by eight Ivy League Schools.  The rest is just window dressing.  You can't just say "Smart Kid who plays violin gets accepted by Ivy League schools." Boring.  It just suggests that he comes from a typical upper middle class family.

You don't dare say "Ivy League Schools fight over Black student who looks like he will graduate and make their  statistics look good" and allow them PC  points".....

And you definitely don't dare say, "Smart Black kid  who understands how much the system wants data points like him mails in half-assed entrance essay knowing it doesn't matter a damn.... "

See you have to find a button to push so you can say how inspiring to other (unspoken but dog whistled) Black kids he is. See, it isn't really about studying his ass off, and learning to play violin...it's about....
 
2014-04-04 01:56:23 PM
A wrong decision can be the beginning or end to a lifestyle.  In the seventh grade, I nearly ended my turtle career by opting to select a simple course-Turtles in Our Lives-that met the state turtle requirement.  But this decision would have left me empty.  With the help of Ms. Brown, my then turtle teacher, I was able to not only meet the basic requirement, but also continue the beginning of my musical journey.  I am now a turtle lover who has joyously loved turtles for nine years.  I also now take turtles in my life.  It is the first self-taught and the longest course I have ever taken.

www.maniacworld.com
 
2014-04-04 01:56:38 PM

papatex: Priapetic: bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.

You sound white (or generally not a member of a Title VII protected class).  Ever think of suggesting to your child they "switch teams"?  Just sayin...

What does being gay have to do with this...


Diversity opportunities.  My son's Harvard essay will be "I'm a handicapped, black, lesbian, single mom who speaks English as a second language!"
 
2014-04-04 01:59:59 PM
What kind of narcissist applies to every ivy school?
 
2014-04-04 02:02:24 PM
Its mostly awful because it's pandering.  I had always assumed that colleges could see through the "OMG I'M SUPER AMBITIOUS AND TOTES CARES ABOUT EVERYTHING AS MUCH AS YOU CAN POSSIBLY CARE ABOUT SOMETHING" bullshiat.  I mean they're teenagers.  Mostly selfish pricks who are FAR more concerned about getting laid.  That's what he should have written on.

/I didn't pander and look where that got me
//state school
///who am I kidding? I didn't even apply to any Ivy League Institutions because I could never afford it.
 
2014-04-04 02:02:24 PM

Snowrise: Dear Harvard

I the liutenant of a 3 man Rapid Tactical Force Team, in one of the nation's largest indoor retail shopping centers. My job job is to defend and protect the lives of the many shoppers who currently vist this center, and in my line of work you cannot be too careful.

I am in a high-risk job. It is not the Mall of America, but Ill tell you what its no podunk mall either.I am a responsible citizen who has made the choice to carry at all times. I defend others. If something happens at the Mall then I would be the hero, not those of you who are making fun of me for no reason. Yes Im not a Green Beret but guess what neither are you and unlike you I have to face unruly shoppers every day.My REAL problem is that, like any LEO, I have enemies because of my job. They may have access to high-powered rifles. My job starts and ends at the same time every day. Although I use four rotating routes to drive to and from work, I am still vulnerable during the walk to and from my car. This is the time that I load up on the trauma plates because I DO NOT WANT TO BE SHOT DEAD!Also, someone said that my Tac Team doesn't get training. Not true. We meet at the range every night and shoot 400 rounds each through weapons that closely resemble our duty setup. We also practice unarmed combat. I am a Master of three martial arts including ninjitsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls. I don't think any of you are working as hard as I am to be prepared. I asked a serious question about tactical armor and I wanted a serious response. If you want to laugh at somebody, try laughing at the sheep out there who go to the mall unarmed trusting in me to stand guiard over their lives like a God.

Hugs
MN


Reminds me of this onion classic:http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-proudly -accepts-exitrow-resp onsibilities,1523/
 
2014-04-04 02:04:44 PM

DerAppie: RumsfeldsReplacement: DerAppie: Maybe it is just me, but I'm not.seeing anything special. The required life changing event, the token trumped up community work and the mandatory "still learning and grateful every day". Just what is so special about this letter?

A few things actually.

1.  The fact that he is able to articulate, in English, the ways he can connect music with other academic disciplines would be impressive for anyone, let alone a 17 year old.

2.  There are no wasted words.  It's honest, and it's a person talking about what makes him tick.  That's what all college essays should be.  It successfully answers the question "Who are you?", it's polished, and it's to the point.

It's not a damn thesis, and it's not supposed to be.  But any college that read this would immediately want him as a student.

No wasted words? He used over a page yet actually says very little.


Correction; He says very little that you can understand.
Do yourself a favor, and study it well. Actually try to do what he did with his thinking.
It could be the hardest thing you've ever attempted.
Doing so could give you a whole new life, many times larger than what you demonstrate now.img.fark.net
 
2014-04-04 02:07:33 PM

MooseBayou: Priapetic: bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.

You sound white (or generally not a member of a Title VII protected class).  Ever think of suggesting to your child they "switch teams"?  Just sayin...

You mean, get your child to "pass"?


At least consider "White Hispanic".
 
2014-04-04 02:10:49 PM

bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.


Looks like the University of Illinois Florida
 
2014-04-04 02:11:57 PM
The picture from Soul Man just made me think. I haven't seen that in forever, but isn't that entire movie offensively racist by today's standards?
 
2014-04-04 02:14:29 PM

bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.


What does "My kid has better scores all around" mean? Better scores in what? And better than whom?

A lot of kids play multiple musical instruments. Nearly everyone I knew in HS that played one instrument, played more than one... and they did it well. Playing piano and french horn isn't exactly going to make your kid Harvard material. Lettering in more than one sport is equally unimpressive because HS athletics are a bit of a joke. Someone who is faster than 95% of their class means and marginally taller than average will probably make the varsity track, baseball, basketball, whatever, and still be relatively mediocre at any individual sport. Student council and club memberships are great, but getting into prestigious universities isn't a matter of checking boxes. The admissions office has a mountain of applications from students who all think they have the minimum requirements to attend America's finest universities. The reality is that Harvard, MIT, and Yale are better at selecting talented kids than you are at raising one worthy of attending. Maybe your kid (and your bank account) will be better served if they attend a state university and major in engineering, graduate with a BS in 3.5 years and get into the work force.
 
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