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(People Magazine)   Here's the essay that got 17-year-old Kwasi Enin into all eight Ivy League schools. It isn't as action-packed as your own Big Bang fanfic attempt, nor does it finish with 'When I woke up, it was all a dream ... or was it?" but it's OK   (people.com) divider line 150
    More: Followup, Kwasi Enin, Ivy League, essays  
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7383 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2014 at 12:41 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



150 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-04 09:44:42 AM
It's gotta be a hoax. You can't start the third sentence of your essay with a conjunction and still get into Harvard, can you? They would have stopped reading right there.
 
2014-04-04 10:46:10 AM
Might be a bookmark for later
 
2014-04-04 10:48:03 AM
What is this a follow up to?
 
2014-04-04 10:59:02 AM
I thought there were only 4 Ivy league schools. Or is the story that they're called "Ivy league" because of IV Roman numerals just a lie I read somewhere on the internet?
 
2014-04-04 11:28:29 AM
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400.
My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA.

I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid.

On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.
I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.
 
2014-04-04 11:41:00 AM

ArkAngel: I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400.
My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA.

I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I fr ...


*slow clap*
 
2014-04-04 12:09:40 PM
Inconsistent use of Oxford comma.  -5 points.
 
2014-04-04 12:10:15 PM
The details of my life are quite inconsequential ... Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloé with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink; he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament ... My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon ... luge lessons ... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets ... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilmer ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum - it's breathtaking ... I suggest you try it
 
2014-04-04 12:45:41 PM

Radak: Inconsistent use of Oxford comma.  -5 points.


Black violinist with an extremely "ethnic" name:  +30 points.
 
2014-04-04 12:48:34 PM

Alonjar: Radak: Inconsistent use of Oxford comma.  -5 points.

Black violinist with an extremely "ethnic" name:  +30 points.


You're off by several orders of magnitude.
 
2014-04-04 12:48:35 PM
Nice second page. Jeez.
 
2014-04-04 12:50:42 PM
Maybe it is just me, but I'm not.seeing anything special. The required life changing event, the token trumped up community work and the mandatory "still learning and grateful every day". Just what is so special about this letter?
 
2014-04-04 12:51:16 PM
tldr
 
2014-04-04 12:51:54 PM
I read the first paragraph. His writing skills clearly played no part in the admissions board screening process.

///Writing isn't everything, I suppose.
 
2014-04-04 12:52:09 PM

rumpelstiltskin: It's gotta be a hoax. You can't start the third sentence of your essay with a conjunction and still get into Harvard, can you? They would have stopped reading right there.


My 2nd grade teacher use to tell us we couldn't use a conjunction to start a sentence until we were published authors. I always felt that they were fine if the usage flowed well with the sentence. This guy has my vote.
 
2014-04-04 12:52:18 PM
Affirmative Action in all it's Glory

As a former US Marine soldier, I cannot help to feel that its unfair, to allow this guy to get in into an Ivy school, when I fought for his freedom, in the Middle East.

/not racist
 
2014-04-04 12:54:14 PM
I want to make a reference to "The Jerk," but I don't want my intentions to be misunderstood.  Therefore, you'll have to say the obvious line yourselves.
 
2014-04-04 12:54:32 PM
Is this the same kid who saved the government seventeen bazillion dollars by changing font sizes?

If there's anything that the current generation is better at than ours, it's self promotion.
 
2014-04-04 12:55:12 PM
Holy shiat he's a bad writer.
 
2014-04-04 12:55:18 PM

Alonjar: Radak: Inconsistent use of Oxford comma.  -5 points.

Black violinist with an extremely "ethnic" name:  +30 points.


Violist, not violinist, actually.

/guess what they say about black guys is true
 
2014-04-04 12:55:41 PM

redmid17: rumpelstiltskin: It's gotta be a hoax. You can't start the third sentence of your essay with a conjunction and still get into Harvard, can you? They would have stopped reading right there.

My 2nd grade teacher use to tell us we couldn't use a conjunction to start a sentence until we were published authors. I always felt that they were fine if the usage flowed well with the sentence. This guy has my vote.


I think the great Jack Sheldon put that problem to rest years ago.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWBO9NAYm-U
 
2014-04-04 12:55:53 PM
Where the fark is that letter hosted?  It's blocked at my work.
 
2014-04-04 12:56:35 PM
In before

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: Affirmative Action in all it's Glory

As a former US Marine soldier, I cannot help to feel that its unfair, to allow this guy to get in into an Ivy school, when I fought for his freedom, in the Middle East.

/not racist


Or maybe not.
 
2014-04-04 12:56:43 PM

DerAppie: Maybe it is just me, but I'm not.seeing anything special. The required life changing event, the token trumped up community work and the mandatory "still learning and grateful every day". Just what is so special about this letter?


A few things actually.

1.  The fact that he is able to articulate, in English, the ways he can connect music with other academic disciplines would be impressive for anyone, let alone a 17 year old.

2.  There are no wasted words.  It's honest, and it's a person talking about what makes him tick.  That's what all college essays should be.  It successfully answers the question "Who are you?", it's polished, and it's to the point.

It's not a damn thesis, and it's not supposed to be.  But any college that read this would immediately want him as a student.
 
2014-04-04 12:56:48 PM

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: Affirmative Action in all it's Glory

As a former US Marine soldier, I cannot help to feel that its unfair, to allow this guy to get in into an Ivy school, when I fought for his freedom, in the Middle East.


It isn't just Affirmative Action.
 
2014-04-04 12:57:41 PM
That essay wasn't the reason Kwasi was accepted by all 8 Ivy League schools.
 
2014-04-04 12:58:31 PM
I liked the part where he talks about loosing his virginity to a prostitue on his 14th birthday.
 
2014-04-04 12:59:45 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-04 01:00:12 PM

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: Affirmative Action in all it's Glory

As a former US Marine soldier, I cannot help to feel that its unfair, to allow this guy to get in into an Ivy school, when I fought for his freedom, in the Middle East.

/not racist


A former marine who can't use commas right.
 
2014-04-04 01:00:32 PM

MrKevvy: Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: Affirmative Action in all it's Glory

As a former US Marine soldier, I cannot help to feel that its unfair, to allow this guy to get in into an Ivy school, when I fought for his freedom, in the Middle East.

It isn't just Affirmative Action.


+1,000!
 
2014-04-04 01:00:51 PM

DerAppie: Just what is so special about this letter?


Those two words there at the very top.
 
2014-04-04 01:01:22 PM

andyofne: Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: Affirmative Action in all it's Glory

As a former US Marine soldier, I cannot help to feel that its unfair, to allow this guy to get in into an Ivy school, when I fought for his freedom, in the Middle East.

/not racist

A former marine who can't use commas right.


They don't teach you that in the Core.
 
2014-04-04 01:02:48 PM

MrKevvy: Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: Affirmative Action in all it's Glory

As a former US Marine soldier, I cannot help to feel that its unfair, to allow this guy to get in into an Ivy school, when I fought for his freedom, in the Middle East.

It isn't just Affirmative Action.


Yes, it is.
 
2014-04-04 01:03:14 PM

Attention Whore of Babylon: I want to make a reference to "The Jerk," but I don't want my intentions to be misunderstood.  Therefore, you'll have to say the obvious line yourselves.


www.gaeastore.com

He hates these cans?
 
2014-04-04 01:03:20 PM
"I also now take music in my life."

Can someone explain what this "articulate" 17 year old meant when he strung these words together?
 
2014-04-04 01:03:33 PM

jso2897: They don't teach you that in the Core.


But they do teach you that it's Corps.
(Pronounced like "core" not "corpse" unless you want to make someone very angry.)
 
2014-04-04 01:03:50 PM
He would have written a longer letter, but he had to be at the gym in 26 minutes.
 
2014-04-04 01:04:55 PM

Slaxl: I thought there were only 4 Ivy league schools. Or is the story that they're called "Ivy league" because of IV Roman numerals just a lie I read somewhere on the internet?


ih0.redbubble.net
 
2014-04-04 01:05:05 PM

jso2897: andyofne: Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: Affirmative Action in all it's Glory

As a former US Marine soldier, I cannot help to feel that its unfair, to allow this guy to get in into an Ivy school, when I fought for his freedom, in the Middle East.

/not racist

A former marine who can't use commas right.

They don't teach you that in the Core.


Also... a real Marine wouldn't use the description "marine soldier".

I served with real Marines and they typically got annoyed when someone referred to marines as soldiers.
 
2014-04-04 01:05:43 PM

MJMaloney187: Yes, it is.


I meant what was keeping the OP out of Ivy League wasn't Affirmative Action, not that it was what got the essay writer in.
 
2014-04-04 01:06:34 PM
What, is he too good for plumber's school?
 
2014-04-04 01:06:54 PM
Pffft, I wrote my national merit essay on bass fishing.
 
2014-04-04 01:06:58 PM

jso2897: andyofne: Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: Affirmative Action in all it's Glory

As a former US Marine soldier, I cannot help to feel that its unfair, to allow this guy to get in into an Ivy school, when I fought for his freedom, in the Middle East.

/not racist

A former marine who can't use commas right.

They don't teach you that in the Core.


I suspect that this is a case of wifely typing. Or maybe Jodiely typing.  But I don't know, I never carried a gun for the leather jar-necks. Hoo-ah.
 
2014-04-04 01:07:01 PM
and he apparently drinks Dos Equis (when he drinks beer).
 
2014-04-04 01:07:17 PM

MJMaloney187: That essay wasn't the reason Kwasi was accepted by all 8 Ivy League schools.


True, but I have to wonder if we agree on that for the same reasons.

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: As a former US Marine soldier


Uh-huh, yeah.   Proud member of the USMC Core, are you?
 
2014-04-04 01:07:52 PM
Good for him.  I hope he goes on to do something great.
 
2014-04-04 01:08:32 PM
That letter was terrible.  The reason I think so may have more to do with my mentor scribbling read ink all over my manuscripts and writing in the margins "this is literally the worst thing I have ever read."  He was really good at criticism.  None of us caught on to his motivational technique until we started comparing notes.  Apparently we're all brain dead morons who can't remain coherent long enough to write a short phrase, no less an entire paragraph.

/still terrible
 
2014-04-04 01:08:35 PM
He's not the most eloquent writer, but he knows how to write to an audience. This was meant for Ivy League admissions, remember. All you're supposed to do is play yourself up in the shortest amount of time possible*.

upload.wikimedia.org

*applies to any college admissions, really
 
2014-04-04 01:08:36 PM

MrKevvy: jso2897: They don't teach you that in the Core.

But they do teach you that it's Corps.
(Pronounced like "core" not "corpse" unless you want to make someone very angry.)


encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2014-04-04 01:09:59 PM

MJMaloney187: Yes, it is.


Well, there's my answer.  And not it's not.
 
2014-04-04 01:11:40 PM

ArkAngel: I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400.
My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA.

I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I fr ...


Awesome. Can you write me one?
 
2014-04-04 01:12:06 PM
Not really.
 
2014-04-04 01:12:32 PM
More his picture got him in than anything.
Except that name.
 
2014-04-04 01:13:48 PM

MrKevvy: jso2897: They don't teach you that in the Core.

But they do teach you that it's Corps.
(Pronounced like "core" not "corpse" unless you want to make someone very angry.)


Really?
 
2014-04-04 01:15:05 PM

ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha: What is this a follow up to?


This story.
 
2014-04-04 01:15:21 PM
great. Another loser musician.
 
2014-04-04 01:15:42 PM
I applied to Dartmouth with a essay discussing spitting in urinals.   I attended a state school.
 
2014-04-04 01:16:30 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: Attention Whore of Babylon: I want to make a reference to "The Jerk," but I don't want my intentions to be misunderstood.  Therefore, you'll have to say the obvious line yourselves.

[www.gaeastore.com image 261x356]

He hates these cans?


I say that all the time when I'm playing Diablo 3 and smashing all the vases in the Silver Spire on the way to school the big guy.  So..."Jerk" and Diablo...yeah, I'm a keeper.
 
2014-04-04 01:17:31 PM

Philip J. Fry: I applied to Dartmouth with a essay discussing spitting in urinals.   I attended a state school.


My wife has a friend that got into Brown with an essay about Sponge Bob.

Oh, Brown!
 
2014-04-04 01:17:45 PM

Karma Curmudgeon: MJMaloney187: Yes, it is.

Well, there's my answer.  And not it's not.


Yeah, it is. It must be extremely embarrassing for the Ivy League schools, too. Had one or two picked this kid up, it wouldn't have been news, but they all picked him up. Flat busted.

Just out of curiosity, why do you think this kid was accepted to every Ivy League school?
 
2014-04-04 01:17:52 PM

MrKevvy: jso2897: They don't teach you that in the Core.

But they do teach you that it's Corps.
(Pronounced like "core" not "corpse" unless you want to make someone very angry.)


WOOSH!
 
2014-04-04 01:19:54 PM
My college assay got me into a good school.

Dear Penthouse;

I never thought this would happen to me but...

Turns out the admissions counselor was new to the city and felt lonely.  After a three hour one on one interview I got into the university with tons of financial aid.
 
2014-04-04 01:21:36 PM

MJMaloney187: Karma Curmudgeon: MJMaloney187: Yes, it is.

Well, there's my answer.  And not it's not.

Yeah, it is. It must be extremely embarrassing for the Ivy League schools, too. Had one or two picked this kid up, it wouldn't have been news, but they all picked him up. Flat busted.

Just out of curiosity, why do you think this kid was accepted to every Ivy League school?


Lots of reasons.
 
2014-04-04 01:22:33 PM
I believe his photo holds more clues to his acceptance than the essay does.  That's the problem with affirmative actions racists assume he got in because of race... he wait a second...
 
2014-04-04 01:23:48 PM

MrKevvy: Not really.


dude. stop. get some coffee and come back in 10 minutes
 
2014-04-04 01:24:28 PM

RumsfeldsReplacement: DerAppie: Maybe it is just me, but I'm not.seeing anything special. The required life changing event, the token trumped up community work and the mandatory "still learning and grateful every day". Just what is so special about this letter?

A few things actually.

1.  The fact that he is able to articulate, in English, the ways he can connect music with other academic disciplines would be impressive for anyone, let alone a 17 year old.

2.  There are no wasted words.  It's honest, and it's a person talking about what makes him tick.  That's what all college essays should be.  It successfully answers the question "Who are you?", it's polished, and it's to the point.

It's not a damn thesis, and it's not supposed to be.  But any college that read this would immediately want him as a student.


No wasted words? He used over a page yet actually says very little.

Also: stop infantilising 17 year old people. I would be sorely disappointed in any 17 year old who could not bullshiat a connection between any given activity and various academic disciplines. Especially since that person has weeks to work on the bullshiat.
 
2014-04-04 01:26:29 PM

Gunny Highway: MJMaloney187: Karma Curmudgeon: MJMaloney187: Yes, it is.

Well, there's my answer.  And not it's not.

Yeah, it is. It must be extremely embarrassing for the Ivy League schools, too. Had one or two picked this kid up, it wouldn't have been news, but they all picked him up. Flat busted.

Just out of curiosity, why do you think this kid was accepted to every Ivy League school?

Lots of reasons.


He's basically the definition of Ivy League admissions bait, but I don't think a first generation kid from China with the same qualifications would manage to go eight for eight
 
2014-04-04 01:27:35 PM
If he had a good jump shot he could've of gotten a full ride.
 
2014-04-04 01:28:59 PM
As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.
 
2014-04-04 01:29:10 PM

ArkAngel: On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.
I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.


What is "Early 90s internet flotsam that I somehow still remember?"

/always be sure to wear suncreen
 
2014-04-04 01:31:50 PM
That essay was really not very well-written at all.
 
2014-04-04 01:32:22 PM

rumpelstiltskin: It's gotta be a hoax. You can't start the third sentence of your essay with a conjunction and still get into Harvard, can you? They would have stopped reading right there.


His essay employs weak grammar and usage.  Unfortunately, that is probably the best you will see from the current crop of snowflakes.

The recipes for proper writing have been placed on the back shelf of the library.

2.bp.blogspot.com
This is such a simple, elegant cover for a simple, elegant book.

And ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carden_Method

Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
Throw the cow over the fence some hay.
 
2014-04-04 01:32:27 PM
Serious question: Does anyone in admissions actually read the essays?

I had a friend a few years ago who worked in the admissions office for the faculty of medicine at a university up here in Canada. At the time part of the application package was a one page "life history" essay. Her job was to go through all the applications and reject any that deviated from the application protocol. According to her the sole purpose of this essay was to ensure you followed the instructions. Any deviations from format and your were rejected: Skip the essay? Rejected. Write five pages when they asked for one? Rejected. The theory being that if you can't follow simple instructions you're not suitable for med school. It was a simple method of weeding 1000's of applications down to a manageable number. Likewise spelling: Any spelling mistakes anywhere in the application? Rejected. After that transcripts and references determined who got interviews, and the interview was the final hurdle.
 
2014-04-04 01:33:17 PM

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: Gunny Highway: MJMaloney187: Karma Curmudgeon: MJMaloney187: Yes, it is.

Well, there's my answer.  And not it's not.

Yeah, it is. It must be extremely embarrassing for the Ivy League schools, too. Had one or two picked this kid up, it wouldn't have been news, but they all picked him up. Flat busted.

Just out of curiosity, why do you think this kid was accepted to every Ivy League school?

Lots of reasons.

He's basically the definition of Ivy League admissions bait, but I don't think a first generation kid from China with the same qualifications would manage to go eight for eight


There are already plenty of Asians in the Ivy Leage schools, that's why. It's all about diversity.
 
2014-04-04 01:33:48 PM

MooseBayou: Unfortunately, that is probably the best you will see from the current crop of snowflakes.


BACK IN MYYYY DAY....
 
2014-04-04 01:40:00 PM

MooseBayou: rumpelstiltskin: It's gotta be a hoax. You can't start the third sentence of your essay with a conjunction and still get into Harvard, can you? They would have stopped reading right there.

His essay employs weak grammar and usage.  Unfortunately, that is probably the best you will see from the current crop of snowflakes.

The recipes for proper writing have been placed on the back shelf of the library.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x1223]
This is such a simple, elegant cover for a simple, elegant book.


This book was required reading for my senior year AP English class.  Obviously, writing isn't one of this kid's strong points.  Thankfully it sounds like he is going pre-med instead of anything involving real writing.
 
2014-04-04 01:40:34 PM

bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.


You sound white.
 
2014-04-04 01:41:05 PM
Dear Harvard

I the liutenant of a 3 man Rapid Tactical Force Team, in one of the nation's largest indoor retail shopping centers. My job job is to defend and protect the lives of the many shoppers who currently vist this center, and in my line of work you cannot be too careful.

I am in a high-risk job. It is not the Mall of America, but Ill tell you what its no podunk mall either.I am a responsible citizen who has made the choice to carry at all times. I defend others. If something happens at the Mall then I would be the hero, not those of you who are making fun of me for no reason. Yes Im not a Green Beret but guess what neither are you and unlike you I have to face unruly shoppers every day.My REAL problem is that, like any LEO, I have enemies because of my job. They may have access to high-powered rifles. My job starts and ends at the same time every day. Although I use four rotating routes to drive to and from work, I am still vulnerable during the walk to and from my car. This is the time that I load up on the trauma plates because I DO NOT WANT TO BE SHOT DEAD!Also, someone said that my Tac Team doesn't get training. Not true. We meet at the range every night and shoot 400 rounds each through weapons that closely resemble our duty setup. We also practice unarmed combat. I am a Master of three martial arts including ninjitsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls. I don't think any of you are working as hard as I am to be prepared. I asked a serious question about tactical armor and I wanted a serious response. If you want to laugh at somebody, try laughing at the sheep out there who go to the mall unarmed trusting in me to stand guiard over their lives like a God.

Hugs
MN
 
2014-04-04 01:41:54 PM

RumsfeldsReplacement: DerAppie: Maybe it is just me, but I'm not.seeing anything special. The required life changing event, the token trumped up community work and the mandatory "still learning and grateful every day". Just what is so special about this letter?

A few things actually.

1.  The fact that he is able to articulate, in English, the ways he can connect music with other academic disciplines would be impressive for anyone, let alone a 17 year old.

2.  There are no wasted words.  It's honest, and it's a person talking about what makes him tick.  That's what all college essays should be.  It successfully answers the question "Who are you?", it's polished, and it's to the point.

It's not a damn thesis, and it's not supposed to be.  But any college that read this would immediately want him as a student.


THIS
Most refreshing to see this clear insight into the mind of a visionary.
 Many folks can't see what he's up to, and what he is saying is a mystery.
Unless you've been doing the same types of thinking and acting; its just words and grammar errors.
He perfectly described my own experience with performances, incl music, trades, skills, careers.
Yeah, he should be given, red carpet style, every opportunity to See & Say things for others.

Music is the ability to transmit vision and emotion, without artifice, to enroll others into a different reality, giving the necessary permissions seamlessly, so as to appear as reality itself.
Like a masterpiece painting, it "takes you there" a form of time travel.
History does the same for me, like almost everything i "get into" its a "trip".
I learned long ago how to prevent a "trip" from becoming a "trap".

He will certainly make some innovations in Medicine, or any other field he attempts.
 
2014-04-04 01:42:26 PM

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: MrKevvy: jso2897: They don't teach you that in the Core.

But they do teach you that it's Corps.
(Pronounced like "core" not "corpse" unless you want to make someone very angry.)

[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 256x192]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlkK65y_-T4
cdn.frontpagemag.com
Rotten to the corpse
 
2014-04-04 01:45:35 PM

MJMaloney187: MrKevvy: Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: Affirmative Action in all it's Glory

As a former US Marine soldier, I cannot help to feel that its unfair, to allow this guy to get in into an Ivy school, when I fought for his freedom, in the Middle East.

It isn't just Affirmative Action.

Yes, it is.


The soft bigotry of low expectations. You can't determine an AA admittee from someone from the same social pool who wasn't an AA admittee.
 
2014-04-04 01:48:37 PM

bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.


You sound white (or generally not a member of a Title VII protected class).  Ever think of suggesting to your child they "switch teams"?  Just sayin...
 
2014-04-04 01:50:04 PM

TheSelphie: MooseBayou: rumpelstiltskin: It's gotta be a hoax. You can't start the third sentence of your essay with a conjunction and still get into Harvard, can you? They would have stopped reading right there.

His essay employs weak grammar and usage.  Unfortunately, that is probably the best you will see from the current crop of snowflakes.

The recipes for proper writing have been placed on the back shelf of the library.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x1223]
This is such a simple, elegant cover for a simple, elegant book.

This book was required reading for my senior year AP English class.  Obviously, writing isn't one of this kid's strong points.  Thankfully it sounds like he is going pre-med instead of anything involving real writing.


You're correct.  Accurate, explanatory communication is completely unimportant to doctors.

With his grasp of English usage, he should be a news reporter or anchor.  TV stations aren't looking for the Edwin Newman/William Safire/Eric Sevareid types these days.

OK, Safire wasn't TV.
 
2014-04-04 01:52:16 PM

Priapetic: bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.

You sound white (or generally not a member of a Title VII protected class).  Ever think of suggesting to your child they "switch teams"?  Just sayin...


What does being gay have to do with this...
 
2014-04-04 01:52:44 PM

MJMaloney187: Just out of curiosity, why do you think this kid was accepted to every Ivy League school?


I can't tell you exactly, I don't have his admission file. But it's funny that you think you know based upon 400 words and a picture.

There's this from Ambitwistor's link:

For one thing, he's a young man. "Colleges are looking for great boys," Cohen says. Application pools these days skew heavily toward girls: The U.S. Department of Education estimates that females comprised 57% of college students in degree-granting institutions last year. Colleges - especially elite ones - are struggling to keep male/female ratios even, so admitting academically gifted young men like Enin gives them an advantage.

He ranks No. 11 in a class of 647 at William Floyd, a large public school on Long Island's south shore. That puts him in the top 2% of his class. His SAT score, at 2,250 out of 2,400 points, puts him in the 99th percentile for African-American students.

He will also have taken 11 Advanced Placement courses by the time he graduates this spring. He's a musician who sings in the school's a capella group and volunteers at Stony Brook University Hospital's radiology department. Enin plans to study medicine, as did both of his parents. They immigrated to New York from Ghana in the 1980s and studied at public colleges nearby. Both are nurses.

Being a first-generation American from Ghana also helps him stand out, Cohen says


And as far as his essay, I'll just say this:   the precise whats and hows of the writing are less important for an entrance essay than the topic and how personally invested he is in it.  It's also much better as an application than he's getting credit for in this thread.  He takes an abstract concept: music, and gives several examples of how its pursuit has given him benefits that are applicable to other areas of life: leadership, creative thinking and community, specifically, and lists several notable achievements in the are without being overbearing about any of it.
 
2014-04-04 01:52:59 PM

Priapetic: bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.

You sound white (or generally not a member of a Title VII protected class).  Ever think of suggesting to your child they "switch teams"?  Just sayin...


You mean, get your child to "pass"?
 
2014-04-04 01:54:15 PM

Tyrosine: Serious question: Does anyone in admissions actually read the essays?

I had a friend a few years ago who worked in the admissions office for the faculty of medicine at a university up here in Canada. At the time part of the application package was a one page "life history" essay. Her job was to go through all the applications and reject any that deviated from the application protocol. According to her the sole purpose of this essay was to ensure you followed the instructions. Any deviations from format and your were rejected: Skip the essay? Rejected. Write five pages when they asked for one? Rejected. The theory being that if you can't follow simple instructions you're not suitable for med school. It was a simple method of weeding 1000's of applications down to a manageable number. Likewise spelling: Any spelling mistakes anywhere in the application? Rejected. After that transcripts and references determined who got interviews, and the interview was the final hurdle.


Well, if thats true about most schools, no wonder so many grads are clueless robots suited best for flippn burgers and sweeping floors. Stuff like what you describe kept me away from higher education, no regrets!
Everyone who knows me figures me to be college educated, when i want to blow someone's mind, i tell them i never finished Jr high... went to work instead, learning the whole time, and learning still.

What the essayist shows is the type of intelligence in thinking you'd want in the white house, or in the surgeon who is deciding your future...
 
2014-04-04 01:55:12 PM

Snowrise: Dear Harvard

I the liutenant of a 3 man Rapid Tactical Force Team, in one of the nation's largest indoor retail shopping centers. My job job is to defend and protect the lives of the many shoppers who currently vist this center, and in my line of work you cannot be too careful.

I am in a high-risk job. It is not the Mall of America, but Ill tell you what its no podunk mall either.I am a responsible citizen who has made the choice to carry at all times. I defend others. If something happens at the Mall then I would be the hero, not those of you who are making fun of me for no reason. Yes Im not a Green Beret but guess what neither are you and unlike you I have to face unruly shoppers every day.My REAL problem is that, like any LEO, I have enemies because of my job. They may have access to high-powered rifles. My job starts and ends at the same time every day. Although I use four rotating routes to drive to and from work, I am still vulnerable during the walk to and from my car. This is the time that I load up on the trauma plates because I DO NOT WANT TO BE SHOT DEAD!Also, someone said that my Tac Team doesn't get training. Not true. We meet at the range every night and shoot 400 rounds each through weapons that closely resemble our duty setup. We also practice unarmed combat. I am a Master of three martial arts including ninjitsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls. I don't think any of you are working as hard as I am to be prepared. I asked a serious question about tactical armor and I wanted a serious response. If you want to laugh at somebody, try laughing at the sheep out there who go to the mall unarmed trusting in me to stand guiard over their lives like a God.

Hugs
MN


Wow, haven't seen a Mall Ninja reference in a long time.  Well done.  Old School.
 
2014-04-04 01:55:28 PM
criticalmassesmedia.com
 
2014-04-04 01:56:19 PM
Ya'all are missin' da point.  It's this: Black Kid gets accepted by eight Ivy League Schools.  The rest is just window dressing.  You can't just say "Smart Kid who plays violin gets accepted by Ivy League schools." Boring.  It just suggests that he comes from a typical upper middle class family.

You don't dare say "Ivy League Schools fight over Black student who looks like he will graduate and make their  statistics look good" and allow them PC  points".....

And you definitely don't dare say, "Smart Black kid  who understands how much the system wants data points like him mails in half-assed entrance essay knowing it doesn't matter a damn.... "

See you have to find a button to push so you can say how inspiring to other (unspoken but dog whistled) Black kids he is. See, it isn't really about studying his ass off, and learning to play violin...it's about....
 
2014-04-04 01:56:23 PM
A wrong decision can be the beginning or end to a lifestyle.  In the seventh grade, I nearly ended my turtle career by opting to select a simple course-Turtles in Our Lives-that met the state turtle requirement.  But this decision would have left me empty.  With the help of Ms. Brown, my then turtle teacher, I was able to not only meet the basic requirement, but also continue the beginning of my musical journey.  I am now a turtle lover who has joyously loved turtles for nine years.  I also now take turtles in my life.  It is the first self-taught and the longest course I have ever taken.

www.maniacworld.com
 
2014-04-04 01:56:38 PM

papatex: Priapetic: bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.

You sound white (or generally not a member of a Title VII protected class).  Ever think of suggesting to your child they "switch teams"?  Just sayin...

What does being gay have to do with this...


Diversity opportunities.  My son's Harvard essay will be "I'm a handicapped, black, lesbian, single mom who speaks English as a second language!"
 
2014-04-04 01:59:59 PM
What kind of narcissist applies to every ivy school?
 
2014-04-04 02:02:24 PM
Its mostly awful because it's pandering.  I had always assumed that colleges could see through the "OMG I'M SUPER AMBITIOUS AND TOTES CARES ABOUT EVERYTHING AS MUCH AS YOU CAN POSSIBLY CARE ABOUT SOMETHING" bullshiat.  I mean they're teenagers.  Mostly selfish pricks who are FAR more concerned about getting laid.  That's what he should have written on.

/I didn't pander and look where that got me
//state school
///who am I kidding? I didn't even apply to any Ivy League Institutions because I could never afford it.
 
2014-04-04 02:02:24 PM

Snowrise: Dear Harvard

I the liutenant of a 3 man Rapid Tactical Force Team, in one of the nation's largest indoor retail shopping centers. My job job is to defend and protect the lives of the many shoppers who currently vist this center, and in my line of work you cannot be too careful.

I am in a high-risk job. It is not the Mall of America, but Ill tell you what its no podunk mall either.I am a responsible citizen who has made the choice to carry at all times. I defend others. If something happens at the Mall then I would be the hero, not those of you who are making fun of me for no reason. Yes Im not a Green Beret but guess what neither are you and unlike you I have to face unruly shoppers every day.My REAL problem is that, like any LEO, I have enemies because of my job. They may have access to high-powered rifles. My job starts and ends at the same time every day. Although I use four rotating routes to drive to and from work, I am still vulnerable during the walk to and from my car. This is the time that I load up on the trauma plates because I DO NOT WANT TO BE SHOT DEAD!Also, someone said that my Tac Team doesn't get training. Not true. We meet at the range every night and shoot 400 rounds each through weapons that closely resemble our duty setup. We also practice unarmed combat. I am a Master of three martial arts including ninjitsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls. I don't think any of you are working as hard as I am to be prepared. I asked a serious question about tactical armor and I wanted a serious response. If you want to laugh at somebody, try laughing at the sheep out there who go to the mall unarmed trusting in me to stand guiard over their lives like a God.

Hugs
MN


Reminds me of this onion classic:http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-proudly -accepts-exitrow-resp onsibilities,1523/
 
2014-04-04 02:04:44 PM

DerAppie: RumsfeldsReplacement: DerAppie: Maybe it is just me, but I'm not.seeing anything special. The required life changing event, the token trumped up community work and the mandatory "still learning and grateful every day". Just what is so special about this letter?

A few things actually.

1.  The fact that he is able to articulate, in English, the ways he can connect music with other academic disciplines would be impressive for anyone, let alone a 17 year old.

2.  There are no wasted words.  It's honest, and it's a person talking about what makes him tick.  That's what all college essays should be.  It successfully answers the question "Who are you?", it's polished, and it's to the point.

It's not a damn thesis, and it's not supposed to be.  But any college that read this would immediately want him as a student.

No wasted words? He used over a page yet actually says very little.


Correction; He says very little that you can understand.
Do yourself a favor, and study it well. Actually try to do what he did with his thinking.
It could be the hardest thing you've ever attempted.
Doing so could give you a whole new life, many times larger than what you demonstrate now.img.fark.net
 
2014-04-04 02:07:33 PM

MooseBayou: Priapetic: bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.

You sound white (or generally not a member of a Title VII protected class).  Ever think of suggesting to your child they "switch teams"?  Just sayin...

You mean, get your child to "pass"?


At least consider "White Hispanic".
 
2014-04-04 02:10:49 PM

bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.


Looks like the University of Illinois Florida
 
2014-04-04 02:11:57 PM
The picture from Soul Man just made me think. I haven't seen that in forever, but isn't that entire movie offensively racist by today's standards?
 
2014-04-04 02:14:29 PM

bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.


What does "My kid has better scores all around" mean? Better scores in what? And better than whom?

A lot of kids play multiple musical instruments. Nearly everyone I knew in HS that played one instrument, played more than one... and they did it well. Playing piano and french horn isn't exactly going to make your kid Harvard material. Lettering in more than one sport is equally unimpressive because HS athletics are a bit of a joke. Someone who is faster than 95% of their class means and marginally taller than average will probably make the varsity track, baseball, basketball, whatever, and still be relatively mediocre at any individual sport. Student council and club memberships are great, but getting into prestigious universities isn't a matter of checking boxes. The admissions office has a mountain of applications from students who all think they have the minimum requirements to attend America's finest universities. The reality is that Harvard, MIT, and Yale are better at selecting talented kids than you are at raising one worthy of attending. Maybe your kid (and your bank account) will be better served if they attend a state university and major in engineering, graduate with a BS in 3.5 years and get into the work force.
 
2014-04-04 02:16:42 PM

Fusilier: MooseBayou: Priapetic: bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.

You sound white (or generally not a member of a Title VII protected class).  Ever think of suggesting to your child they "switch teams"?  Just sayin...

You mean, get your child to "pass"?

At least consider "White Hispanic".


I'm partial to "Pacific Islander"
 
2014-04-04 02:17:09 PM
Lot of bitter white bread in this here thread.

[welcome to fark.jpg]
 
2014-04-04 02:18:22 PM

Karma Curmudgeon: MJMaloney187: Just out of curiosity, why do you think this kid was accepted to every Ivy League school?

I can't tell you exactly, I don't have his admission file. But it's funny that you think you know based upon 400 words and a picture.

There's this from Ambitwistor's link:

For one thing, he's a young man. "Colleges are looking for great boys," Cohen says. Application pools these days skew heavily toward girls: The U.S. Department of Education estimates that females comprised 57% of college students in degree-granting institutions last year. Colleges - especially elite ones - are struggling to keep male/female ratios even, so admitting academically gifted young men like Enin gives them an advantage.

He ranks No. 11 in a class of 647 at William Floyd, a large public school on Long Island's south shore. That puts him in the top 2% of his class. His SAT score, at 2,250 out of 2,400 points, puts him in the 99th percentile for African-American students.

He will also have taken 11 Advanced Placement courses by the time he graduates this spring. He's a musician who sings in the school's a capella group and volunteers at Stony Brook University Hospital's radiology department. Enin plans to study medicine, as did both of his parents. They immigrated to New York from Ghana in the 1980s and studied at public colleges nearby. Both are nurses.

Being a first-generation American from Ghana also helps him stand out, Cohen says


THS.

A lot of subtle and not-so-subtle racism in this thread. That's too bad. I just emailed the essay to my 14-y/o (musician and honors student) daughter along with about 250 words pointing out all the problems with it. However, I prefaced my criticism with the observation that the kid's grades, test scores, and extra-academic activities are what make him an appealing applicant. If he were planning to major in literature, history, or even law, I'd like to believe that essay would be a major strike against him. But medicine? Meh.
 
2014-04-04 02:33:49 PM

kc278: THS.

A lot of subtle and not-so-subtle racism in this thread. That's too bad. I just emailed the essay to my 14-y/o (musician and honors student) daughter along with about 250 words pointing out all the problems with it. However, I prefaced my criticism with the observation that the kid's grades, test scores, and extra-academic activities are what make him an appealing applicant. If he were planning to major in literature, history, or even law, I'd like to believe that essay would be a major strike against him. But medicine? Meh.


I just emailed this to my son and he asked me what THS stood for. Then he went on to ask me why you feel qualified to write a 250 word criticism of a kid who is very likely more intelligent than yourself.

I told him, "I have no idea." and I added that, "It sounds like this parent is living vicariously." Good luck with that.
 
2014-04-04 02:43:25 PM

MooseBayou: Fusilier: MooseBayou: Priapetic: bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.

You sound white (or generally not a member of a Title VII protected class).  Ever think of suggesting to your child they "switch teams"?  Just sayin...

You mean, get your child to "pass"?

At least consider "White Hispanic".

I'm partial to "Pacific Islander"


Not me.  Man, those Samoans are a surly bunch.
 
2014-04-04 02:45:19 PM

papatex: Priapetic: bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.

You sound white (or generally not a member of a Title VII protected class).  Ever think of suggesting to your child they "switch teams"?  Just sayin...

What does being gay have to do with this...


Sexual orientation different from the majority is one of the Title VII protected classes.
 
2014-04-04 02:46:53 PM

bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.


Yeah, well, just about every kid nowadays plays six instruments, runs a soup kitchen, can run a 4 minute mile, and is a member of the chess, horology, and ancient Egypt clubs. Is your kid a member of a doo wop group? No? Well, that's where you failed as a parent...
 
2014-04-04 03:00:56 PM

tylerdurden217: I just emailed this to my son and he asked me what THS stood for. Then he went on to ask me why you feel qualified to write a 250 word criticism of a kid who is very likely more intelligent than yourself.

I told him, "I have no idea." and I added that, "It sounds like this parent is living vicariously." Good luck with that.


Well bless your heart.
 
2014-04-04 03:11:07 PM

tylerdurden217: kc278: THS.

A lot of subtle and not-so-subtle racism in this thread. That's too bad. I just emailed the essay to my 14-y/o (musician and honors student) daughter along with about 250 words pointing out all the problems with it. However, I prefaced my criticism with the observation that the kid's grades, test scores, and extra-academic activities are what make him an appealing applicant. If he were planning to major in literature, history, or even law, I'd like to believe that essay would be a major strike against him. But medicine? Meh.

I just emailed this to my son and he asked me what THS stood for. Then he went on to ask me why you feel qualified to write a 250 word criticism of a kid who is very likely more intelligent than yourself.

I told him, "I have no idea." and I added that, "It sounds like this parent is living vicariously." Good luck with that.


Huh. Well, my SAT score put me in a slightly higher percentile than Mr. Enin and I graduated second in my ~650-student high school, so if I really thought it was relevant I could make an argument that he's not "very likely more intelligent" than I am (or was -- that was a long time ago). I subsequently graduated cum laude with a bachelor's in literature, made a meager living for a few years as a songwriter, went on to manage a magazine for ten years, and now work in "information resources" for a top-50 architectural/engineering firm. So I flatter myself into imagining that I'm reasonably capable of evaluating a short essay.

As to "living vicariously" . . . through whom, my daughter? Who'll be writing her own university admission essays in a few short years? Heaven forbid I use a current event to attempt to illustrate 1.) the value of extra-academic activities (I did mention she's a musician, right? Like the kid in the story?) and 2.) what a generally poor essay looks like and some suggestions on how it could be improved.

tl/dr: Lighten up, Francis.
 
2014-04-04 03:12:15 PM
www.dartblog.com
 
2014-04-04 03:21:06 PM
JSTACAT:
Everyone who knows me figures me to be college educated, when i want to blow someone's mind, i tell them i never finished Jr high... went to work instead, learning the whole time, and learning still.

You sound isecure
 
2014-04-04 03:28:45 PM

Molavian: Diversity opportunities.  My son's Harvard essay will be "I'm a handicapped, black, lesbian, single mom who speaks English as a second language!"


I am trying to figure out the best (worst?) combination. Can someone help me out? So far I have:

Handicapped, Liberal, Black, Mexican, Muslim, Undocumented, Gay, ESL
 
2014-04-04 03:35:53 PM
www.keysmashblog.com
 
2014-04-04 03:36:05 PM

Abuse Liability: ///who am I kidding? I didn't even apply to any Ivy League Institutions because I could never afford it.


They actually have pretty good financial aid packages nowadays.  The average Princeton aid grant, for example, covers 100% of tuition (and these are grants, not loans).
 
2014-04-04 03:38:34 PM

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: JSTACAT:
Everyone who knows me figures me to be college educated, when i want to blow someone's mind, i tell them i never finished Jr high... went to work instead, learning the whole time, and learning still.

You sound isecure


You sound semiliterate.
 
2014-04-04 03:43:51 PM

MrKevvy: jso2897: They don't teach you that in the Core.

But they do teach you that it's Corps.
(Pronounced like "core" not "corpse" unless you want to make someone very angry.)


Let's all point and laugh at the moron who doesn't know his Fark memes.
 
2014-04-04 03:55:22 PM

kc278: Huh. Well, my SAT score put me in a slightly higher percentile than Mr. Enin and I graduated second in my ~650-student high school, so if I really thought it was relevant I could make an argument that he's not "very likely more intelligent" than I am (or was -- that was a long time ago). I subsequently graduated cum laude with a bachelor's in literature, made a meager living for a few years as a songwriter, went on to manage a magazine for ten years, and now work in "information resources" for a top-50 architectural/engineering firm. So I flatter myself into imagining that I'm reasonably capable of evaluating a short essay.


www.mbird.com
/im sorry, I agree with your point, but...couldn't...resist!
 
2014-04-04 03:56:33 PM

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: JSTACAT:
Everyone who knows me figures me to be college educated, when i want to blow someone's mind, i tell them i never finished Jr high... went to work instead, learning the whole time, and learning still.

You sound isecure


Yes i am,
its why:
i'm not fat or sloppy.
have more backups than i need.
charge up to the head of the line [to get the best]
Jump up on stage & take the mic.
always sit at the table with the pretty girls.
leave parties a bit early [b4 cops show up]
stay strait when everyone else is stoned...
never show up at a banquet hungry..
and its still not enough.
 
2014-04-04 04:02:37 PM
Reading this essay made me realize I could never be a college admissions officer.

/He is a fine fellow, I am sure.
 
2014-04-04 04:06:24 PM

tylerdurden217: bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.

What does "My kid has better scores all around" mean? Better scores in what? And better than whom?

A lot of kids play multiple musical instruments. Nearly everyone I knew in HS that played one instrument, played more than one... and they did it well. Playing piano and french horn isn't exactly going to make your kid Harvard material. Lettering in more than one sport is equally unimpressive because HS athletics are a bit of a joke. Someone who is faster than 95% of their class means and marginally taller than average will probably make the varsity track, baseball, basketball, whatever, and still be relatively mediocre at any individual sport. Student council and club memberships are great, but getting into prestigious universities isn't a matter of checking boxes. The admissions office has a mountain of applications from students who all think they have the minimum requirements to attend America's finest universities. The reality is that Harvard, MIT, and Yale are better at selecting talented kids than you are at raising one worthy of attending. Maybe your kid (and your bank account) will be better served if they attend a state university and major in engineering, graduate with a BS in 3.5 years and get into the work force.



2320 SAT 800 on both the Math 2 and Physics subject matter tests. By the time he graduates he will have taken 17 AP classes. Scored a 5 on all of the 10 he has taken so far. ranks 6th in class of 549. His 400 and 800 times would place him on Harvard's varsity team and this is without the benefit of any decent coaching. Dont get me wrong I think Kwasi is a fine kid and deserves to go to any of the schools he applied to.  I just don't understand how an essay like this so full of pandering BS was so well received. It is a perfect kiss ass essay and I give him credit for writing it but I think it is full of BS.My kid also played the lead in Grease and was in show choir but dropped it  because it took so much time and he wanted to take another AP class instead.
 
2014-04-04 04:28:53 PM
I was dubious at first, but that's a very succinct, well written/expressed personal statement.

Ignoring all the people with social science/humanities degrees (if even that) whom have commented- it's a solid and delightful statement.
 
2014-04-04 04:46:29 PM

kc278: Huh. Well, my SAT score put me in a slightly higher percentile than Mr. Enin and I graduated second in my ~650-student high school, so if I really thought it was relevant I could make an argument that he's not "very likely more intelligent" than I am (or was -- that was a long time ago). I subsequently graduated cum laude with a bachelor's in literature, made a meager living for a few years as a songwriter, went on to manage a magazine for ten years, and now work in "information resources" for a top-50 architectural/engineering firm. So I flatter myself into imagining that I'm reasonably capable of evaluating a short essay.

As to "living vicariously" . . . through whom, my daughter? Who'll be writing her own university admission essays in a few short years? Heaven forbid I use a current event to attempt to illustrate 1.) the value of extra-academic activities (I did mention she's a musician, right? Like the kid in the story?) and 2.) what a generally poor essay looks like and some suggestions on how it could be improved.

tl/dr: Lighten up, Francis.


The fact that you felt the need to critique Kwasi's essay and ultimately trash it as a "generally poor" example says something. Though you insist that "something" is that you are helping your daughter, I have my doubts. Why? Well, because you had to trot out our high school transcript and your bland resume in some attempt to prove your bona fides. No one cares about your SAT score anymore, or your BA in literature. You're an adult now. Maybe you should act like one. Can you also throw that pigskin a quarter mile, Uncle Rico?

The admission essay is more about the story than it is the mechanics and syntax. The purpose of writing in this case is to move the audience, not to show adept sentence structure. Prose can be perfectly constructed and bore the reader. That's one reason why Kwasi will attend the University of Whatever-he-wants and you didn't. Your advice can probably only take your daughter as far as you went... not that there's anything wrong with that, but don't lie to yourself and suggest that Kwasi did it wrong and you know better. Yale, Harvard, Princeton, Columbia, et al. seem to disagree.
 
2014-04-04 04:49:08 PM
As Paul Harvey was famous for saying  and now for the rest of the story ..

(spoiler alert: what the original article says is he's smart for a black boy)
 
2014-04-04 04:54:38 PM
I think it is nice that he writes about why his teachers and friend admire him.

He seems a great fit for any of the Ivies.
 
2014-04-04 04:57:47 PM

bucjeff: 2320 SAT 800 on both the Math 2 and Physics subject matter tests. By the time he graduates he will have taken 17 AP classes. Scored a 5 on all of the 10 he has taken so far. ranks 6th in class of 549. His 400 and 800 times would place him on Harvard's varsity team and this is without the benefit of any decent coaching. Dont get me wrong I think Kwasi is a fine kid and deserves to go to any of the schools he applied to.  I just don't understand how an essay like this so full of pandering BS was so well received. It is a perfect kiss ass essay and I give him credit for writing it but I think it is full of BS.My kid also played the lead in Grease and was in show choir but dropped it  because it took so much time and he wanted to take another AP class instead.


I apologize for my snark. That all is really honestly quite impressive and something to be proud of. The only thing I will say is that your son wants to go to those schools because they are very selective. (I'm guessing) I can understand the frustration, but there is a chance that his credentials still place him in the bottom 5% or not even. That's the crushing reality of those schools. From what I understand (and this comes from working a bit in Cambridge) kids go from being one of the smartest kids in their HS, to being below average. It's a shock even when they try to expect it.
 
2014-04-04 05:05:59 PM

tylerdurden217: bucjeff: 2320 SAT 800 on both the Math 2 and Physics subject matter tests. By the time he graduates he will have taken 17 AP classes. Scored a 5 on all of the 10 he has taken so far. ranks 6th in class of 549. His 400 and 800 times would place him on Harvard's varsity team and this is without the benefit of any decent coaching. Dont get me wrong I think Kwasi is a fine kid and deserves to go to any of the schools he applied to.  I just don't understand how an essay like this so full of pandering BS was so well received. It is a perfect kiss ass essay and I give him credit for writing it but I think it is full of BS.My kid also played the lead in Grease and was in show choir but dropped it  because it took so much time and he wanted to take another AP class instead.

I apologize for my snark. That all is really honestly quite impressive and something to be proud of. The only thing I will say is that your son wants to go to those schools because they are very selective. (I'm guessing) I can understand the frustration, but there is a chance that his credentials still place him in the bottom 5% or not even. That's the crushing reality of those schools. From what I understand (and this comes from working a bit in Cambridge) kids go from being one of the smartest kids in their HS, to being below average. It's a shock even when they try to expect it.


The knowledge that they are of high-normal intelligence instead of a flaming genius just might be the most valuable lesson that they learn in those hallowed halls. Nothing like starting life after 4 years studying feminist puppet theatre and hip-hop musical theory only to discover that the only thing you are suited for is ..................grad school.
 
2014-04-04 05:07:42 PM

MooseBayou: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x1223]

This is such a simple, elegant cover for a simple, elegant book.


50 Years of Stupid Grammar Advice.
 
2014-04-04 05:11:40 PM

tylerdurden217: Lettering in more than one sport is equally unimpressive because HS athletics are a bit of a joke.


And Ivy League athletics are more than a bit of a joke, so if your goal is to get your kid into an Ivy, spending a lot of time on sports is not a good use of time.

Not that your goal should be "get my kid into an Ivy".  A kid who's been wait-listed by the two most prestigious universities in North America is still going to do fine in life, whether or not his degree certificate is written in Latin.
 
2014-04-04 05:18:26 PM
The kid goes to my high school and they have been making a big deal about it here for the past few days (holding press conferences and all the works). Huge props to the kid for all that he has done; but the praising for him is starting to get annoying, especially since I live around the area.
 
2014-04-04 05:29:09 PM

JSTACAT: DerAppie: No wasted words? He used over a page yet actually says very little.

Correction; He says very little that you can understand.
Do yourself a favor, and study it well. Actually try to do what he did with his thinking.
It could be the hardest thing you've ever attempted.
Doing so could give you a whole new life, many times larger than what you demonstrate now.[img.fark.net image 500x373]


Okay, I'm no longer on the phone so I can do a decent reply now. Let's look at what he is telling us, okay?

First paragraph: My big life changing moment was learning music. I am an autodidact on this.

Second paragraph: Music allowed me to look at things in ways that aren't directly obvious. Also: playing music makes me better at playing music.

Third paragraph: Music helped me connect to the community by performing for them.

Fourth paragraph: Music helped me learn about teamwork, leadership and friendship.

Fifth paragraph: I think music is awesome and my world revolves around it.

Now all the things he didn't tell us, but which would have been way more interesting and informative than the general required tripe that can be written by anyone who has ever done a team sport / invested in getting good at something.

Paragraph 1: Why would his initial choice have ended the musical career? What did the teacher do to motivate him? What struggle was there to overcome? Why mention that he is an autodidact (I know, to show that he can motivate himself, but everyone is willing to do things they like. Even kids with ADHD who normally bounce of the walls can sit still doing something they find interesting)?

Paragraph 2: How did music help you look at things from different angles? Give an example how looking at thousands of combinations of notes helped with working around mathematical formulas. How did the combinations of musical options help find exits in undesirable circumstances? Hell, what kind of circumstances are we talking about?

Third paragraph: Okay, that is pretty clear.

Fourth paragraph: How did music teach him about leadership, teamwork and friendship? What were the troubles he ran into that made him become a good leader? What was it that music taught him about friendship that regular friendships (that is to say, friendships with non-musicians) couldn't teach him? What conflict did he need to overcome to learn these lessons? How did the group members react? Can he also handle conflict in situations where others don't share a passion for music with him?

What was the adversity he found in the high level pieces? Was it mere complexity? Did they need to learn new techniques, or was it just that they needed to polish the skills they already had? How did they overcome that?

Fifth paragraph: It was wise to turn down Music In Our Lives for your current course, but we still don't know what he did instead, what convinced him to do so or why he made the choice for the road travelled, or what he still expects to learn from music.

In the end I stand by my comment that he said a lot but told us nearly nothing. Everything he said was superficial and there is nothing in the letter about how it was specifically music that helped him become who he is. Or how he couldn't have learned any of the lesson from any other endeavour he most likely had next to his musical life. Hell, I could do a very minor rewrite without touching any of the motivations behind what he did (he didn't give any), and this would be about how StarCraft made him who he is.

He should have given us less fluff and more substance. Work out a few subjects instead of giving us the bones of everything. That way we could have made an meaningful judgement about his character beyond the fact that:
1) He can get along with people with the same interests he has (music)
2) He is willing to spend time learning things he likes to do (music related activities)
3) He learned something about friendship and leadership and teamwork (yet we don't actually know what he learned except that he learned that a leader is also responsible for the social climate of a group)

Just enlighten me with your superior analytical skills if you think I'm wrong. Since you are so superior, and I'm just a little idiot who can't gleam meaning from a text, you should just tell me what the hell it is that is so impressive about what he wrote. What hidden depths did you find in the writing? What great insight into this person did they provide you?
 
2014-04-04 05:29:39 PM

tylerdurden217: kc278: Huh. Well, my SAT score put me in a slightly higher percentile than Mr. Enin and I graduated second in my ~650-student high school, so if I really thought it was relevant I could make an argument that he's not "very likely more intelligent" than I am (or was -- that was a long time ago). I subsequently graduated cum laude with a bachelor's in literature, made a meager living for a few years as a songwriter, went on to manage a magazine for ten years, and now work in "information resources" for a top-50 architectural/engineering firm. So I flatter myself into imagining that I'm reasonably capable of evaluating a short essay.

As to "living vicariously" . . . through whom, my daughter? Who'll be writing her own university admission essays in a few short years? Heaven forbid I use a current event to attempt to illustrate 1.) the value of extra-academic activities (I did mention she's a musician, right? Like the kid in the story?) and 2.) what a generally poor essay looks like and some suggestions on how it could be improved.

tl/dr: Lighten up, Francis.

The fact that you felt the need to critique Kwasi's essay and ultimately trash it as a "generally poor" example says something. Though you insist that "something" is that you are helping your daughter, I have my doubts. Why? Well, because you had to trot out our high school transcript and your bland resume in some attempt to prove your bona fides. No one cares about your SAT score anymore, or your BA in literature. You're an adult now. Maybe you should act like one. Can you also throw that pigskin a quarter mile, Uncle Rico?

The admission essay is more about the story than it is the mechanics and syntax. The purpose of writing in this case is to move the audience, not to show adept sentence structure. Prose can be perfectly constructed and bore the reader. That's one reason why Kwasi will attend the University of Whatever-he-wants and you didn't. Your advice can probably only take your daughter as far as you we ...


You should consider switching to decaf.

Mr. Enin is an outstanding student and I have little doubt he will have great success at the university of his choice. That doesn't change the fact that, for a high school senior, his essay is good for maybe a B- at best. Unless you're in the same league as, say,  William Faulkner or James Joyce, mechanics and syntax are kind of important things. You're welcome to disagree, but why you should feel the need to is . . . interesting.
 
2014-04-04 05:56:04 PM

Clemkadidlefark: As Paul Harvey was famous for saying  and now for the rest of the story ..

(spoiler alert: what the original article says is he's smart for a black boy)


Wow. This Debbie Schlussel person is an unapologetic racist POS. Noted.
 
2014-04-04 06:10:26 PM

tylerdurden217: bucjeff: As a parent of a kid wailtisted at Harvard and Yale and denied by MIT and Princeton  this pandering BS essay ticks me off. My kid has better scores all around and plays 2 musical instruments, lettered in 3 sports for 3 years, student govt, president of the math club etc etc etc and is a national merit scholarship winner. I'm shocked college admission people wouldn't see right through that BS.

What does "My kid has better scores all around" mean? Better scores in what? And better than whom?

A lot of kids play multiple musical instruments. Nearly everyone I knew in HS that played one instrument, played more than one... and they did it well. Playing piano and french horn isn't exactly going to make your kid Harvard material. Lettering in more than one sport is equally unimpressive because HS athletics are a bit of a joke. Someone who is faster than 95% of their class means and marginally taller than average will probably make the varsity track, baseball, basketball, whatever, and still be relatively mediocre at any individual sport. Student council and club memberships are great, but getting into prestigious universities isn't a matter of checking boxes. The admissions office has a mountain of applications from students who all think they have the minimum requirements to attend America's finest universities. The reality is that Harvard, MIT, and Yale are better at selecting talented kids than you are at raising one worthy of attending. Maybe your kid (and your bank account) will be better served if they attend a state university and major in engineering, graduate with a BS in 3.5 years and get into the work force.


Did you even play sport in HS?
 
2014-04-04 06:24:42 PM
Sooo... he got in for Academics then. Because this essay clearly isn't that great. And whoever said he didn't waste any words... well, you better read it again.
 
2014-04-04 07:53:43 PM

tylerdurden217: The admission essay is more about the story than it is the mechanics and syntax. The purpose of writing in this case is to move the audience, not to show adept sentence structure. Prose can be perfectly constructed and bore the reader. That's one reason why Kwasi will attend the University of Whatever-he-wants


What is so moving about the essay? We don't know what (if any) challenges he faced, and assuming they existed, how he overcame them. Nor do we know what motivated him to do what his essay claims he has done or what his options in life were.

If this essay were a short story I'd be hard pressed to even call the main character 2-dimensional. If he was a 2-dimensional character we'd at least have gotten some form of motivation for him wanting to go to med-school.
 
2014-04-04 08:49:42 PM

DerAppie: JSTACAT: DerAppie: No wasted words? He used over a page yet actually says very little.

Correction; He says very little that you can understand.
Do yourself a favor, and study it well. Actually try to do what he did with his thinking.
It could be the hardest thing you've ever attempted.
Doing so could give you a whole new life, many times larger than what you demonstrate now.[img.fark.net image 500x373]

Okay, I'm no longer on the phone so I can do a decent reply now. Let's look at what he is telling us, okay?

First paragraph: My big life changing moment was learning music. I am an autodidact on this.

Second paragraph: Music allowed me to look at things in ways that aren't directly obvious. Also: playing music makes me better at playing music.

Third paragraph: Music helped me connect to the community by performing for them.

Fourth paragraph: Music helped me learn about teamwork, leadership and friendship.

Fifth paragraph: I think music is awesome and my world revolves around it.

Now all the things he didn't tell us, but which would have been way more interesting and informative than the general required tripe that can be written by anyone who has ever done a team sport / invested in getting good at something.

Paragraph 1: Why would his initial choice have ended the musical career? What did the teacher do to motivate him? What struggle was there to overcome? Why mention that he is an autodidact (I know, to show that he can motivate himself, but everyone is willing to do things they like. Even kids with ADHD who normally bounce of the walls can sit still doing something they find interesting)?

Paragraph 2: How did music help you look at things from different angles? Give an example how looking at thousands of combinations of notes helped with working around mathematical formulas. How did the combinations of musical options help find exits in undesirable circumstances? Hell, what kind of circumstances are we talking about?

Third paragraph: Okay, that is pretty ...


If he had written the way you write, no one would have cared about the story.
I think you missed the point.
How about some soul?
And, it might help if you actually do what he did, not just think about it.

and, the underlined part....
thats really going to take more than you imagine, to figure out.
Good luck!
 really.
 
2014-04-04 10:26:29 PM
Is this the thread where we brag about how overqualified we were for undergrad?
 
2014-04-04 11:06:08 PM

Gunny Highway: MJMaloney187: Karma Curmudgeon: MJMaloney187: Yes, it is.

Well, there's my answer.  And not it's not.

Yeah, it is. It must be extremely embarrassing for the Ivy League schools, too. Had one or two picked this kid up, it wouldn't have been news, but they all picked him up. Flat busted.

Just out of curiosity, why do you think this kid was accepted to every Ivy League school?

Lots of reasons.


Moo

In the case of ivy league schools race (black) actually do play a significant favorable factor in admission criteria. Add in pretty decent grades and good at some other skills like music in case else will ensure a shoo in.

If he has been an Asian OTOH, odds are he'll find himself going to a school ending with S.U. why? Because every freken Asian kid applying to Yale, Harvard etc has perfect SAT, ACT and knows how to play the violin with their foot while stringing the ukele.
 
2014-04-05 06:19:33 AM

JSTACAT: If he had written the way you write


I wrote that with the idea that it is going to be posted on a website in the comment section, in a few minutes and without any noteworthy editing or major revisions.

, no one would have cared about the story.

The way I see it there really isn't that much of a story. For there to be a story we need to know what he obstacles overcame, how he overcame them and how it shaped him. All we can do is make assumptions about obstacles because he never mentioned any, he never mentioned how he overcame anything and we don't learn how any presumed adverse circumstances shaped him to become who he is.

I think you missed the point.
How about some soul?


What soul? It is a summation of points without any information about why I should care about any of the points.

Does he get brownie points for something or another? If that is the case what we're saying is that the this is a great essay in the same way that a five year old ballet dancer is a great dancer. In other words: it isn't all that noteworthy but we can see they are trying and that is cute.

And, it might help if you actually do what he did, not just think about it.

Do what he did? Just what did he do? Write an essay to get into Ivy League schools by hitting all the mandatory points by providing superficial information?

and, the underlined part...
thats really going to take more than you imagine, to figure out.


Okay, we'll imagine he is being cornered by someone who is going to rob him at gun point. Is he going to sing his way out of the encounter? Does he deal with peer pressure by quoting Mozart at his peers? If someone is trying to push drugs on him, does he start talking about musical theory until the drug pusher falls asleep or wanders of?

Good luck!
really.


I already know that you'll never give me any in depth reply as to why you think as you do. You're just to smug about the supposed depth in his writing, like an art critic looking at a floor smeared with peanut butter while complaining that John Q. Public just doesn't see the artistic value and the soul of the piece. If there really was something to see here, and you wanted me to find it, you should at least give me something to work with. Lift the veil and enlighten me as to the brilliance of the essay!
 
2014-04-05 09:33:23 AM
LoL FARK. A college admissions essay that got him accepted to every Ivy league college, and here we are telling anyone who will listen everything that's wrong with it. For my money (and millions of kids aspiring to college), there's nothing wrong with it. I'd call it damn near perfect for what it was designed to do...and if you don't you need a dictionary.
 
2014-04-05 09:36:11 AM

DerAppie: You're just to smug about the supposed depth in his writing,


LMAO. you have no standing to criticize anyone's writing.
 
2014-04-05 02:09:23 PM
Mr DerAppie:

Good luck!
really.

I already know that you'll never give me any in depth reply as to why you think as you do. You're just to smug about the supposed depth in his writing, like an art critic looking at a floor smeared with peanut butter while complaining that John Q. Public just doesn't see the artistic value and the soul of the piece. If there really was something to see here, and you wanted me to find it, you should at least give me something to work with. Lift the veil and enlighten me as to the brilliance of the essay!


------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, just one fragment among many, which can be expanded out
[surprised you read the words & did not comprehend]

He studied Beethoven, instead of wasting his time with a contemporary, fluffy do nothing course in music. At his age ad position he realised that precise navigation is critical, because time is of the essence when so near to College, and career choices.

Now, Beethoven;
I admire him for taking it on, and modifying [not perverting] the musical structures to serve his goals.
[goals, another whole world he implies and describes succinctly in a few words]

Avoiding difficult or undesirable situations:
In music composition, it is often difficult to avoid getting boxed in, where the music becomes discordant and fails to inspire. [writers block]

To me Beethoven is like dry oatmeal, with no seasoning, all math, no thrust.
I like infra sound rhythms, poly-rhythms, and strong refractive effects, second and third voices... such as found in various native drumming. When i play, people must be moved completely out of the here and now... I demand and receive that. That is my style.

I would like to discuss music with him....

Now, i know that i have the ability to dine on this dry oatmeal, and do what the essayist did, and actually find and enjoy the nuances contained therein.
If i was so tempted, i'd rather tackle Ragas...also very math oriented.

= I see in music, not Algebra, but Geometry. = ->Class, pay attention here!
that small sentence holds the keys to success in music, writing, thinking, programming and self knowledge.

How ever, we are all different, and like him, i have to choose my fields carefully, time is FINITE.

I went into music & very quick to stage.. quickly proved out my own theorems and then departed.
Now i have other pursuits.

Go ahead and take on a subject like Beethoven, take it to the breakthrough point... and then do that with some other Profession.

Thing is; you are older, so its going to be tough.
I am older than you & i find ways to get back to the strength, optimism and innocence of 17, if you know what i mean.
That means i ask of God many things....and i understand, this is the whole purpose of the struggle of life, the struggle to create, that we learn to seek God.

-----see how large a file is opened for me, in just a few words about his experience with Beethoven?--
 
2014-04-05 02:17:03 PM

Geoff Peterson: DerAppie: You're just to smug about the supposed depth in his writing,

LMAO. you have no standing to criticize anyone's writing.



Good job, you found a typo. I know what I did wrong there, I just didn't notice sooner because I'm not trying particularly hard to write a perfect bit of text. I hardly did any proofreading and I sure as hell didn't go through 4 drafts. To quote a story written by Aesop:

A HOUND started a Hare from his lair, but after a long run, gave up the chase. A goat-herd seeing him stop, mocked him, saying "The little one is the best runner of the two." The Hound replied, "You do not see the difference between us: I was only running for a dinner, but he for his life."

In this case I didn't even run for my dinner. I ran but for the sheer hell of it

If you want to participate in the discussion you should at least try and find out what the discussion is about. To recap: I am not criticizing the style of his writing but the content. The essay is superficial and doesn't inform us of anything in particular. Because of this I am disagreeing with people who claim that here are depths, whether hidden or not, in the essay. So far nobody has bothered to point out what I'm missing. All anyone did so far is tell me to figure it out for myself. Or mock me for not editing or revising my posts to conform to proper style.

If you only wanted to feel superior by pointing out an error, well done. You succeeded and can now rest easy in the knowledge that you won the debate for all eternity. Surely that error invalidates anything I have said.

/What I have in common with Kwasi Enin is that neither of us had parents who spoke English as a first language
//Where we differ is that he was born and raised in an English speaking country
 
2014-04-05 03:21:58 PM
These comments are strange to me. I'm never going to force my children to play 3 instruments and take up clothing the homeless between practice for 4 different sports. I went to the state university for four wonderful, fun, enlightening years - and they paid me to do it because of a combination of Louisiana's wonderful college financial aid (look it up, probably the only thing Louisiana does well) and a great ACT score. I wouldn't trade those years at LSU for anything. Being normal and having friends served my peers much better in their careers than playing the oboe well. Businessmen, engineers, lawyers, all doing great now without anything more than good networking and a cheap degree from a state school.

A good college GPA got me to med school, a good med school GPA got me into a competitive residency. The people I work with have varied hobbies and interests - they fish, hunt, spar, hike, skydive, etc... These are not things they picked up to build a resume, it's because they're fun. I now have a 4 and a 5 year old and simply cannot imagine scheduling their lives like someone mentioned above. They're going to live, and do things they enjoy, not what looks good on an application. It's the information age, does anyone really think that what's taught at Harvard isn't available literally  everywhere else? The networking opportunities are surely better, but if you raise some asocial weirdo who is always worried about their next achievement, it's not really going to matter.

TLDR - an Ivy league education is not even close to necessary to be successful, and I feel that making it the number 1 priority can be detrimental.
 
2014-04-05 03:44:53 PM

DerAppie: Geoff Peterson: DerAppie: You're just to smug about the supposed depth in his writing,

LMAO. you have no standing to criticize anyone's writing.

 
DerAppie

;
If you want to participate in the discussion you should at least try and find out what the discussion is about. To recap: I am not criticizing the style of his writing but the content. The essay is superficial and doesn't inform us of anything in particular. Because of this I am disagreeing with people who claim that here are depths, whether hidden or not, in the essay. So far nobody has bothered to point out what I'm missing.

Read my post just above yours....
 
2014-04-05 09:10:35 PM

DerAppie: Geoff Peterson: DerAppie: You're just to smug about the supposed depth in his writing,

LMAO. you have no standing to criticize anyone's writing.


Good job, you found a typo. I know what I did wrong there, I just didn't notice sooner because I'm not trying particularly hard to write a perfect bit of text.


I'm glad you know what you did wrong (in retrospect), but no, that is not a typo. Tihs is a typo. That is a grammatical error, and a pretty fundamental one at that.
 
2014-04-05 09:54:17 PM

Geoff Peterson: DerAppie: Geoff Peterson: DerAppie: You're just to smug about the supposed depth in his writing,

LMAO. you have no standing to criticize anyone's writing.


Good job, you found a typo. I know what I did wrong there, I just didn't notice sooner because I'm not trying particularly hard to write a perfect bit of text.

I'm glad you know what you did wrong (in retrospect), but no, that is not a typo. Tihs is a typo. That is a grammatical error, and a pretty fundamental one at that.


A typo can be hitting a key once or twice. I know the difference between "to" and "too", so in my case it could be either. Still, I like the fact that you still didn't address any substantial points. The fact that all you did was complain about a simple grammatical error/typo on my part, instead of addressing my concerns about the content of the essay, means that you don't have any substantial criticism about the content of my post or you disagree with me based on something other than the actual content of my post.

If the former: nice to know you agree with me.

If the lather: If you are going to nitpick grammar errors / typos (at this point it is 3:31 AM, I had 3 litres of beer, 2 shots of vodak, a few shots of random stuff) I really don't care about the style/grammar/spelling errors I make in a post on a comment section of a website. Address the points I make or I won't bother to take anything you say seriously. If you need to try to invalidate my posts by pointing out errors that don't concern the substance matter, I can only assume that you have some irrational need to think I am wrong because of a political/sociological agenda. If you can't make anything other than an irrelevant arguments about how I am wrong, your post gets ignored by default.

tl;dr: You pointing out a typographical error doesn't mean that the substance of my post was wrong. Address the points I was making or concede the fact that I am right.


PS: If my error of using "to" instead of "too" is good enough to disregard the content of my entire post (which is, in the greater scheme of things, completely irrelevant), the person writing the essay shouldn't even be considered for entry in any Ivy League university because he makes grammatical errors left and right.
 
2014-04-05 10:19:25 PM

DerAppie: Geoff Peterson: DerAppie: Geoff Peterson: DerAppie: You're just to smug about the supposed depth in his writing,

LMAO. you have no standing to criticize anyone's writing.


Good job, you found a typo. I know what I did wrong there, I just didn't notice sooner because I'm not trying particularly hard to write a perfect bit of text.

I'm glad you know what you did wrong (in retrospect), but no, that is not a typo. Tihs is a typo. That is a grammatical error, and a pretty fundamental one at that.

A typo can be hitting a key once or twice. I know the difference between "to" and "too", so in my case it could be either. Still, I like the fact that you still didn't address any substantial points. The fact that all you did was complain about a simple grammatical error/typo on my part, instead of addressing my concerns about the content of the essay, means that you don't have any substantial criticism about the content of my post or you disagree with me based on something other than the actual content of my post.

If the former: nice to know you agree with me.

If the lather: If you are going to nitpick grammar errors / typos (at this point it is 3:31 AM, I had 3 litres of beer, 2 shots of vodak, a few shots of random stuff) I really don't care about the style/grammar/spelling errors I make in a post on a comment section of a website. Address the points I make or I won't bother to take anything you say seriously. If you need to try to invalidate my posts by pointing out errors that don't concern the substance matter, I can only assume that you have some irrational need to think I am wrong because of a political/sociological agenda. If you can't make anything other than an irrelevant arguments about how I am wrong, your post gets ignored by default.

tl;dr: You pointing out a typographical error doesn't mean that the substance of my post was wrong. Address the points I was making or concede the fact that I am right.


PS: If my error of using "to" instead of "too" is good e ...


Oh relax, ya putz. My point has nothing to do with his writing style. I didn't even read the essay, there's no need. It's the ridiculousness of you sitting here on this message board critiquing an essay a 17 yr old wrote that got him accepted to every ivy league school, and saying, essentially, it isn't up to your standards. I understand the unwritten subtext to your rants, that is that this is a race thing rather than an education thing. I can see that if one or two schools bought in, but all of them?? Considering what I'm reading here from you, it's funny to me that you would feel as you do. I'm either chuckling or shaking my head. If it's the former, great. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure it's the lather.

Now relax, I'm done with this and didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I think I will go and have a few shots and beers too! Cheers!
 
2014-04-05 10:24:52 PM

JSTACAT

Ok, just one fragment among many, which can be expanded out
[surprised you read the words & did not comprehend]


I'm still of an opinion there is nothing to comprehend except for the assumptions people make on his behalf. He isn't telling us enough to draw meaningful conclusions.

He studied Beethoven, instead of wasting his time with a contemporary, fluffy do nothing course in music. At his age ad position he realised that precise navigation is critical, because time is of the essence when so near to College, and career choices.

You concluded that the course he considered at first was a fluffy do nothing course in music. We don't know the contents of the course from his essay, we don't know why he decided not to follow that course or why that decision changed his life that much. You concluded that he thought time was of the essence. We don't know if he did.

Now, Beethoven;
I admire him for taking it on, and modifying [not perverting] the musical structures to serve his goals.
[goals, another whole world he implies and describes succinctly in a few words]


We don't know anything about how he modified the musical structures to serve his goals. For all you know he did pervert them. Not to mention the fact that we don't know anything about about what his goals were at any point in time. All we know is that in the as paragraph he states that he wants to study medicine. How did music influence that choice? How did music prepare him for a career in medicine? We know he claims that music taught him to look at things from different perspectives, but we havent actually been given any examples about how music did that,

Avoiding difficult or undesirable situations:
In music composition, it is often difficult to avoid getting boxed in, where the music becomes discordant and fails to inspire. [writers block]


Which is something you assume. He doesn't specify what the undesirable situations were. Anyone can assume it means anything. We need to know what he considers to be an undesirable situation in which his study of music helps before we can make any meaningful conclusions about how relevant this part of his essay is. If music only prevented writer's block I don't really see how that would be relevant from an interpersonal perspective. Or a research perspective (knowing what to research is way more important than to know how to write it down).

To me Beethoven is like dry oatmeal, with no seasoning, all math, no thrust.
I like infra sound rhythms, poly-rhythms, and strong refractive effects, second and third voices... such as found in various native drumming. When i play, people must be moved completely out of the here and now... I demand and receive that. That is my style.

I would like to discuss music with him....


Which only tells us that you are prejudiced to like his subject matter.

Now, i know that i have the ability to dine on this dry oatmeal, and do what the essayist did, and actually find and enjoy the nuances contained therein.
If i was so tempted, i'd rather tackle Ragas...also very math oriented.

= I see in music, not Algebra, but Geometry. = ->Class, pay attention here!
that small sentence holds the keys to success in music, writing, thinking, programming and self knowledge.


This still doesn't explain how he used music to make sense of maths subjects or literature. Chances are his view of things was different from yours. You are still going about things from the way you applied music to your life. We have no reason to assume he went about things the same way because he didn't tell us enough to make that conclusion.

How ever, we are all different, and like him, i have to choose my fields carefully, time is FINITE.

I went into music & very quick to stage.. quickly proved out my own theorems and then departed.
Now i have other pursuits.

Go ahead and take on a subject like Beethoven, take it to the breakthrough point... and then do that with some other Profession.

Thing is; you are older, so its going to be tough.
I am older than you & i find ways to get back to the strength, optimism and innocence of 17, if you know what i mean.
That means i ask of God many things....and i understand, this is the whole purpose of the struggle of life, the struggle to create, that we learn to seek God.

-----see how large a file is opened for me, in just a few words about his experience with Beethoven?--


And all of that doesn't really mean all that much in context of the depth of his essay. He doesn't say anything about his struggles. Or about his optimism.
Conclusion: you are reading a lot into it because of your experience with music, The essay still doesn't give us enough information to assume that his experience was anything like his. Just because you want to think that his experience was similar doesn't mean it was.

And no, I do not say it wasn't. I am saying that we don't know because he didn't give us enough information to come to any meaningful conclusion,
 
2014-04-05 10:42:25 PM

Geoff Peterson: Oh relax, ya putz. My point has nothing to do with his writing style. I didn't even read the essay, there's no need. It's the ridiculousness of you sitting here on this message board critiquing an essay a 17 yr old wrote that got him accepted to every ivy league school, and saying, essentially, it isn't up to your standards.


Exchanging ideas with others is ridiculous? If people gave me some critique as to why this essay was worthy of getting him into every Ivy League university I could learn a thing or two. Yet all I see is people saying that it is worthy because it is, or people saying it is because of assumptions they make on behalf of the person who wrote the essay. Nothing concerning the actual content of the essay.

I understand the unwritten subtext to your rants, that is that this is a race thing rather than an education thing.

Yeah... You are wrong about that. The essay sucks because it is superficial tripe. Not because it was written by a non-white person. If he went into some detail about how music helped him it would have been a lot better. Thanks to noscript I didn't even see his picture. I could have gone all racist about his name but that doesn't invalidate the points I made about the substance. I would have put this essay in the trash regardless of who write it.

I can see that if one or two schools bought in, but all of them?? Considering what I'm reading here from you, it's funny to me that you would feel as you do.

Why? You admit to not reading the essay yet feel validated in judging me because I feel that the essay sucks?

I'm either chuckling or shaking my head. If it's the former, great. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure it's the lather.

Right... So why do you think you are shaking your head instead of chuckling? People usually know what they are doing at the current point in time.

Now relax, I'm done with this and didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I think I will go and have a few shots and beers too! Cheers!

Cheers. I'm going to bed now and chances are this thread will be closed by the time I wake up.

Good night.
 
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