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(MLive.com)   Worst. Superhero. Ever. Police hunting "mystery pooper" defecating on park slides   (mlive.com) divider line 117
    More: Sick, Tom Perkins, Ypsilanti, first receiver  
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3527 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2014 at 9:03 AM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



117 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-04 08:43:42 AM
I'm disappointed the mystery pooper doesn't leave a turd shaped like a question mark.
 
2014-04-04 08:51:01 AM

FirstNationalBastard: I'm disappointed the mystery pooper doesn't leave a turd shaped like a question mark.


We don't know that he doesn't.

He said he has encouraged staff and residents to contact him every time defecation is discovered so he can determine if there's a pattern in regards to a schedule.

Tuesday's it's the "soft serve."  I think Fridays are the question mark.
 
2014-04-04 08:53:18 AM

Diogenes: FirstNationalBastard: I'm disappointed the mystery pooper doesn't leave a turd shaped like a question mark.

We don't know that he doesn't.

He said he has encouraged staff and residents to contact him every time defecation is discovered so he can determine if there's a pattern in regards to a schedule.

Tuesday's it's the "soft serve."  I think Fridays are the question mark.


I can respect a mystery pooper who can pinch off a perfect DQ swirl every time.
 
2014-04-04 08:59:35 AM
 Have we determined this to be the work of just one man? How do we know there isn't an entire guild of mystery poopers?
 
2014-04-04 09:02:43 AM
And Mystery Pooper wouldn't be considered a superhero. He would be classified as a super villain.
 
2014-04-04 09:02:58 AM

FirstNationalBastard: I'm disappointed the mystery pooper doesn't leave a turd shaped like a question mark.


Along with a riddle.

"Here I sit all broken hearted..."
 
GBB
2014-04-04 09:05:23 AM
Oh, yes, they call him The Streak
 
2014-04-04 09:05:42 AM
Peculiar Pooping Perpetrator Puzzles Police
 
2014-04-04 09:07:06 AM
Crafty clandestine crapper confuses cops
 
2014-04-04 09:07:07 AM
img1.wikia.nocookie.net
A sketch has been released.
 
2014-04-04 09:07:45 AM
Commissioner Gordon could lure him to Gotham Park by using the SCAT signal...

/dnrtfa
 
2014-04-04 09:07:58 AM
Officials have discovered feces on the slides so frequently that police installed a hidden camera to try to capture an image of the act.

Great idea.. announce that to everyone!
 
2014-04-04 09:08:09 AM
More information being released...
 
Skr
2014-04-04 09:08:10 AM
"We have a problem in Prospect Park with a miscreant that does not understand the difference between a children's playground slide and a toilet"
a toilet is probably cleaner.
 
2014-04-04 09:08:32 AM
tvhackr.com

Prefers to call him the "Mad Pooper".
 
2014-04-04 09:09:04 AM
At first I saw the Ann Arbor News and thought WTF?

Then I saw it was really in Ypsi. Yeah, that makes a lot more sense now.
 
2014-04-04 09:09:04 AM
Skid Mark
 
2014-04-04 09:10:04 AM
CNN asks, "Does this have any connection to the missing Malaysian flight?"
 
2014-04-04 09:10:15 AM
Murdock said the Friends of the Prospect Park may stake out the park as temperatures warm and the nights grow shorter.

Oh, here we go.  Out come the brownshirts pants.
 
2014-04-04 09:10:37 AM

FirstNationalBastard: I'm disappointed the mystery pooper doesn't leave a turd shaped like a question mark.


My dog once left me one shaped like a heart on Valentines.  Let me see if I can figure out how to upload.  It's precious.
 
hej
2014-04-04 09:10:59 AM
"Officials have discovered feces on the slides so frequently that police installed a hidden camera to try to capture an image of the act."

They went on to say, "It's installed on a tree to the immediate north side of the slide.  We haven't caught anybody yet, but we really only monitor the camera from 6pm to 8pm, Monday through Friday."
 
2014-04-04 09:11:20 AM
imgs.tuts.dragoart.com
Wanted for questioning
 
2014-04-04 09:12:45 AM
We had a mystery pooper, the Unipooper, when I was in school.  Used to leave dumps in the library.
 
2014-04-04 09:13:43 AM
This is pretty much Normal for Ypsi.  If it's not meth or gang-banging its pooping in weird places.
 
2014-04-04 09:13:52 AM
www.nbc.com
 
2014-04-04 09:14:57 AM

Gunny Highway: We had a mystery pooper, the Unipooper, when I was in school.  Used to leave dumps in the library.


Continuous, unbroken turds?  Impressive control.
 
hej
2014-04-04 09:16:14 AM
"Apparently this extremely misguided individual feels the need to defecate on the slide despite the cold weather. This has been an ongoing problem at this location. Please make frequent checks in the area and record them on your daily log."

img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
hej
2014-04-04 09:17:32 AM
"It's hard to deal with because it's so unbelievable to begin with. When somebody called me and told me what happened I said 'What? You gotta be kidding me!"

I don't know why it's so unbelievable.  When I was a kid, the thought of doing this crossed my mind pretty much every time I was at the play ground.
 
2014-04-04 09:17:46 AM
Can we turn this into a "Name This Superhero" thread?

Pooperman.
 
2014-04-04 09:17:56 AM
I am he, the mad midnight pooper what poops at midnight!

bwahahahaha!
 
2014-04-04 09:19:50 AM
Green Jello, "The Misadventures of shiatman"
 
2014-04-04 09:19:58 AM

fruitloop: Can we turn this into a "Name This Superhero" thread?

Pooperman.


The Heap.

/5 people will get that.
 
2014-04-04 09:21:39 AM

Diogenes: Gunny Highway: We had a mystery pooper, the Unipooper, when I was in school.  Used to leave dumps in the library.

Continuous, unbroken turds?  Impressive control.


It brought a new meaning to "curling up in the library"
 
2014-04-04 09:22:26 AM
I'd watch out for the principal of the local high school.

//Obscure?
 
hej
2014-04-04 09:24:22 AM

RectalFury: [www.nbc.com image 300x169]


Your user name is quite appropriate for this thread.
 
2014-04-04 09:24:41 AM
              shiatting on a park slide....
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-04 09:25:11 AM
That's, like, your opinion, subby.
 
2014-04-04 09:25:38 AM
pbs.twimg.comecstaticreality.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-04 09:27:31 AM
Deviant defecater dumbfounds detectives.
 
2014-04-04 09:28:19 AM
Save us Area Man!
 
2014-04-04 09:28:43 AM

kid_icarus: And Mystery Pooper wouldn't be considered a superhero. He would be classified as a super villain.


Exactly.
 
2014-04-04 09:29:15 AM
Dastardly devious dookie dumper dazzles dozens
 
2014-04-04 09:29:46 AM
Detectives deduce dastardly defecator dropping disgusting deuces.
 
2014-04-04 09:30:17 AM
Run a DNA check. The guy (or girl) may have a record and DNA on file.
 
2014-04-04 09:30:44 AM
Mudslides move to Michigan!
 
2014-04-04 09:31:04 AM
Shady shiatter shames Sheriff.
 
2014-04-04 09:31:15 AM

kid_icarus: And Mystery Pooper wouldn't be considered a superhero. He would be classified as a super villain.


This ^

-1 to subby, bad use of the meme.
 
2014-04-04 09:33:11 AM

hej: "It's hard to deal with because it's so unbelievable to begin with. When somebody called me and told me what happened I said 'What? You gotta be kidding me!"

I don't know why it's so unbelievable.  When I was a kid, the thought of doing this crossed my mind pretty much every time I was at the play ground.


I think we found the culprit.
 
2014-04-04 09:33:14 AM
Probably a right winger. They love to poop all over public use things. Next, he'll be pooping on schools and clinics.

/Or was that a threadshiat?
 
2014-04-04 09:33:57 AM
Murdock said the Friends of the Prospect Park may stake out the park as temperatures warm and the nights grow shorter.


Summer, every single moment is worth it's weight in gold
Summer, it's like the world's best story and it's waiting to be told
It's the mystery poopers poop that's always dripping down your slide
It's summer, man, where'd the pooper hide?
 
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