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(Today)   Forty percent of mothers say alcohol helps them cope with stress of parenting and OMG DON'T MAKE ME COME BACK THERE   (today.com) divider line 115
    More: Obvious, Oh My God, stress  
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3742 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2014 at 12:20 AM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-04 10:43:03 AM

WndrWmn: As a single parent (my daughter was 18 months when her father and I separated), I would like to add my 2 cents to all the vitriol in here.

Even as a kid, I wasn't good with other kids.  Always preferred to hang around the adults or play alone/read.  Fast forward to my late 20s/early 30s I was a single parent of a toddler.  A human just learning to talk and can't yet read or pay attention to movies or whatnot for very long was a tough place to be in.  It sounds so simple, "just use your imagination! Playing is fun!"  Toddler/young child stuff is not fun for an adult.  Watching her discover the world?  Totally awesome.  Watching her discover the same thing over and over and over again (yes, honey, some cows are brown and some are black & white.  HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO SAY THAT?)?  It gets old to an adult.  That's one of the crucial differences between childhood and adulthood.  So, at times, when at home, an adult beverage drops one's inhibitions a bit and the creativity begins to flow a little better.  Hell, just ask all those troubled creative types that tend to also do some of their best brainstorming after some sort of chemical/medicinal intervention.  It's SCIENCE! (citation needed)


This!
 
2014-04-04 10:52:18 AM
My mom didnt start really drinking wine until my sister hit high school, she loves talking about how me and my brother were real good and behaved (never got caught) and how big of a pain in the ass my sister was.
 
2014-04-04 10:56:43 AM

moefuggenbrew: Jae0o0: Moms drinking wine = omg bad
Dads drinking a 6 pack after work to unwind = just how it is.

Ha! I'm a stay at home mom. My kids are lucky I only have a glass or two of wine. Some moms I know take their kids adhd pills or smoke pot or take pain pills they purchase from other people. Then there are the ones that chose to toughit out and end up screaming at their kids.

This mommy might be tispy but atleast I'm not breakin' the law or yelling.

Pot doesn't kill you, alcohol does, enjoy an extra one for us snobby uneducated person!


Since I live in a state where pot is illegal it could get me thrown in jail for buying or having the stuff. If you think a glass of wine is worse than risking jail time, you're an idiot.

If drinking a glass or two of wine a will kill people, all of france should be long dead. Someone should let them in on this news!
 
2014-04-04 11:02:41 AM

studebaker hoch: My mom drank when she was pregnant with me and my siblings.
Other people can tell.
Don't do that to your kids.


I made sure to drink enough to remain completely sterile before I sobered up and had kids.
And unlike apparently every other parent in the world, my kid never stressed me out that much. Maybe because his father was such an abusive, flaming asshole that my child was my only comfort.
 
2014-04-04 11:08:56 AM

orangehat: GloomCookie613: irishdncr83: alice_600:
Not to be a pain but when do you have severe anxiety?

Whenever it feels like showing up. Usually when I have to deal with people in person. I prefer social media and e-mails for communication. Trying to play with my son, I have forgotten how to play, and I start getting upset because I'm afraid I'm letting him down and he's judging me. I try me level best to make up for the fact that I lack the ability to play with him sometimes.

I don't have kids yet, but this is my big fear. I have anxiety issues of the BOO! HI! HERE I AM! variety too and find myself feeling as you described when young relatives and friends' kids want me to play. And it's frustrating because it's PLAYING! It should be simple and if not for that one misfiring bit of grey matter it would be, but apparently I came with the Abby Normal brain equipped.

Tl;dnr: You just gave me hope that I won't be a totally sucky mom because of my anxiety. Thank you.

If you care about your kids you'll be a good mom.  A lot of people suck at parenting and it has nothing to do with anxiety.  One thing I've noticed about people I know with kids is that often times people who think that they'll be bad parents because of whatever turn out to be great parents.  I have a friend who always thought she was not cut out for motherhood because of various reasons and 15 years later her kids are well adjusted awesome people and she's a great mom mainly because she cares about them and made sure that her kids knew that no matter what happened that she was there for them no matter what.
I don't have kids but

stopped reading right there
no offense

/why the italics?  i don't know
 
2014-04-04 11:10:06 AM
My wife doesn't drink.  She takes it out on me.
 
2014-04-04 11:10:22 AM

meenkya: WndrWmn: As a single parent (my daughter was 18 months when her father and I separated), I would like to add my 2 cents to all the vitriol in here.

Even as a kid, I wasn't good with other kids.  Always preferred to hang around the adults or play alone/read.  Fast forward to my late 20s/early 30s I was a single parent of a toddler.  A human just learning to talk and can't yet read or pay attention to movies or whatnot for very long was a tough place to be in.  It sounds so simple, "just use your imagination! Playing is fun!"  Toddler/young child stuff is not fun for an adult.  Watching her discover the world?  Totally awesome.  Watching her discover the same thing over and over and over again (yes, honey, some cows are brown and some are black & white.  HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO SAY THAT?)?  It gets old to an adult.  That's one of the crucial differences between childhood and adulthood.  So, at times, when at home, an adult beverage drops one's inhibitions a bit and the creativity begins to flow a little better.  Hell, just ask all those troubled creative types that tend to also do some of their best brainstorming after some sort of chemical/medicinal intervention.  It's SCIENCE! (citation needed)

This!


My wine is for the days when things turn into a total shiatstorm.

Example: 2yo goes into his play tent and poops in the floor. I discover it and move the tent, go into the kitchen to get cleaning supplies. Dog discovers poop, gulps it down like soke sort of turbo poop eating ninja. Then dog jumps on couch, vomits everything back up.

Once I'm done choking down my own vomit and clean it up, its time to hang my head out of the window for some fresh air and have a glass of wine. No shame here.
 
2014-04-04 11:19:09 AM
Weed, because at the end of a grueling long day the occasional bong hit helps.
 
2014-04-04 11:48:23 AM

meenkya: WndrWmn: As a single parent (my daughter was 18 months when her father and I separated), I would like to add my 2 cents to all the vitriol in here.

Even as a kid, I wasn't good with other kids.  Always preferred to hang around the adults or play alone/read.  Fast forward to my late 20s/early 30s I was a single parent of a toddler.  A human just learning to talk and can't yet read or pay attention to movies or whatnot for very long was a tough place to be in.  It sounds so simple, "just use your imagination! Playing is fun!"  Toddler/young child stuff is not fun for an adult.  Watching her discover the world?  Totally awesome.  Watching her discover the same thing over and over and over again (yes, honey, some cows are brown and some are black & white.  HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO SAY THAT?)?  It gets old to an adult.  That's one of the crucial differences between childhood and adulthood.  So, at times, when at home, an adult beverage drops one's inhibitions a bit and the creativity begins to flow a little better.  Hell, just ask all those troubled creative types that tend to also do some of their best brainstorming after some sort of chemical/medicinal intervention.  It's SCIENCE! (citation needed)

This!


Ya or just lay around on the floor drunk and let them climb all over you.
 
2014-04-04 12:19:03 PM

irishdncr83: alice_600:
Not to be a pain but when do you have severe anxiety?

Whenever it feels like showing up. Usually when I have to deal with people in person. I prefer social media and e-mails for communication. Trying to play with my son, I have forgotten how to play, and I start getting upset because I'm afraid I'm letting him down and he's judging me. I try me level best to make up for the fact that I lack the ability to play with him sometimes.


Have you gotten diagnosed? Believe me, I understand not wanting to, but it can be really useful to google a word and get a thousand forums and tips, or know if medication can help.

/Though if you don't want to, no judgement--I still refuse to see a dentist, and I don't even have anxiety.
 
2014-04-04 12:21:00 PM

irishdncr83: picturescrazy: irishdncr83: picturescrazy: irishdncr83: We have more important things to do like jam out to AC/DC.


Everything else was fine but I am going to judge you for that.

And not a single fark is given!!!

Sorry. I thought it was clear that it was a joke.

We take the AC/DC pretty seriously in our house. After my boy's first week of kindergarten he came home and said, "Mom... I hate music." "Why's that, babe?" "We have to learn STUPID songs." "I'm sorry sweetie. Can I help in any way?" "Can you tell the music teacher to play some AC/DC or Metallica? Something GOOD? Even David Bowie."

The best part of having children is turning them into minions and Mini Me's.


My dad used to have my sister and I race to get the newspaper to "prove who's fastest." He also told us doing jumping jacks would settle food in our stomachs if we wanted dessert but were "too full."

His crowning achievement was tricking me into wanting to mow the lawn as soon as possible. Smart move on his part. We had a big ass yard.
 
2014-04-04 12:54:06 PM

zerkalo: I think I saw my mom drink one swig of Guinness and one of Rolling Rock, and maybe a glass of Cold Duck in 40 years. Too bad the tee-total gene didn't get passed down like the Slav drinking gene from my father's side did...


golf is addictive (addicting?) my last tee total was 97.
 
2014-04-04 02:52:14 PM
orangehat:
I don't have kids but from seeing what happened to the people I know who do have kids it seems like when the realization that you have a child and that child needs you as a parent seems to change people in ways that are seemingly impossible...the big thing about having kids is that as long as they know that you love them, care for them and are there for them no matter what they'll turn out OK.  Sometimes the ...

I've been reconsidering my position on them and that's kind of how I think it'll go if I end up there. Granted it would take a lot of money and/or a goddamn miracle, because I already got neutered for a medical  condition, but... I'm leaning towards it depending on some factors.
 
2014-04-04 04:45:16 PM
Welcome to the club, ladies. Men have been doing this since we lived in caves.
 
2014-04-04 06:23:07 PM
I have two boys (9 and 7) and this year was the first year I started having a glass of wine around dinner (usually while I'm cooking).  This year has been so much easier!  I think that 40% is low-balling it, and that women have been doing it for years and that's fine.  Raising kids is damn hard and stressful (otherwise you're not doing it right) and if a glass of wine helps me remain patient and good-natured during the most difficult time of the day (dinner and bedtime).
 
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