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(Today)   Forty percent of mothers say alcohol helps them cope with stress of parenting and OMG DON'T MAKE ME COME BACK THERE   (today.com) divider line 115
    More: Obvious, Oh My God, stress  
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3742 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2014 at 12:20 AM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-04 02:33:31 AM

Fafai: What the hell. It's playing, there's literally no rules. Just have fun.


Until someone gets a bruised hand from sword fighting. <---legit happened. Several times. My gauntlets are still in pieces darn it. I can't do the "play Transformers!" and we have our guys and play with them, but I can pretend to sword fight. Sort of. After a while I stop pretending.......

Although I've stalked him with nerf guns and then he shot me with the rocket launcher. And there was the water gun/water balloon fight. <---- totally my master mind.

I guess when we play we like violence.
 
2014-04-04 02:35:45 AM

ladyfortuna: irishdncr83: alice_600:
Not to be a pain but when do you have severe anxiety?

Whenever it feels like showing up. Usually when I have to deal with people in person. I prefer social media and e-mails for communication. Trying to play with my son, I have forgotten how to play, and I start getting upset because I'm afraid I'm letting him down and he's judging me. I try me level best to make up for the fact that I lack the ability to play with him sometimes.

Props to you; my best friend has some similar issues so I've heard her similar fears. Some day he'll understand... You might try keeping a journal about it though, to give to him when he's older to help with the comprehension... In fact I should tell her the same thing.


I have been actually. I'm writing my memoirs and I write letters to him in it. Because there are days I literally cannot get out of bed so I have be bring Candy Land or something into the bedroom and we play that or we watch a movie. Which he watches about 30 minutes of and goes and plays.
 
2014-04-04 02:44:01 AM
There isn't an adult on my mom's side that doesn't have an alcohol or drug dependency, and my dad (adopted, no family history) went through rehab when I was a toddler. I don't have the urge to drink, but when I do drink, I find it difficult to stop at one or 2, but I usually can if no one else is drinking heavily. It is easier since my wife doesn't drink (she isn't against it, she just has a very low tolerance and doesn't really enjoy being drunk so one for her is like 5 or 6 for me) and I feel like a degenerate if I drink by myself.
 
2014-04-04 02:46:08 AM

Fafai: irishdncr83: alice_600:
Not to be a pain but when do you have severe anxiety?

Whenever it feels like showing up. Usually when I have to deal with people in person. I prefer social media and e-mails for communication. Trying to play with my son, I have forgotten how to play, and I start getting upset because I'm afraid I'm letting him down and he's judging me. I try me level best to make up for the fact that I lack the ability to play with him sometimes.

What the hell. It's playing, there's literally no rules. Just have fun.


You're spending time with him, he's having fun, you obviously care about him and you're never going to get this time back so do your thing and don't worry about what other people think.  The fact that you care about your son and spend time with him having fun is all that matters, other people's opinions do not matter because they're not his mom and you are.

I wish you the best of luck in dealing with your anxiety and I understand that it can be a problem for people who have anxiety issues and that for people who don't they can't really understand what it is like.
 
2014-04-04 02:46:11 AM

irishdncr83: picturescrazy: irishdncr83: We have more important things to do like jam out to AC/DC.


Everything else was fine but I am going to judge you for that.

And not a single fark is given!!!


Sorry. I thought it was clear that it was a joke.
 
2014-04-04 02:48:01 AM

orangehat: Fafai: irishdncr83: alice_600:
Not to be a pain but when do you have severe anxiety?

Whenever it feels like showing up. Usually when I have to deal with people in person. I prefer social media and e-mails for communication. Trying to play with my son, I have forgotten how to play, and I start getting upset because I'm afraid I'm letting him down and he's judging me. I try me level best to make up for the fact that I lack the ability to play with him sometimes.

What the hell. It's playing, there's literally no rules. Just have fun.

You're spending time with him, he's having fun, you obviously care about him and you're never going to get this time back so do your thing and don't worry about what other people think.  The fact that you care about your son and spend time with him having fun is all that matters, other people's opinions do not matter because they're not his mom and you are.

I wish you the best of luck in dealing with your anxiety and I understand that it can be a problem for people who have anxiety issues and that for people who don't they can't really understand what it is like.


Thanks. =)
 
2014-04-04 02:50:10 AM

picturescrazy: irishdncr83: picturescrazy: irishdncr83: We have more important things to do like jam out to AC/DC.


Everything else was fine but I am going to judge you for that.

And not a single fark is given!!!

Sorry. I thought it was clear that it was a joke.


We take the AC/DC pretty seriously in our house. After my boy's first week of kindergarten he came home and said, "Mom... I hate music." "Why's that, babe?" "We have to learn STUPID songs." "I'm sorry sweetie. Can I help in any way?" "Can you tell the music teacher to play some AC/DC or Metallica? Something GOOD? Even David Bowie."

The best part of having children is turning them into minions and Mini Me's.
 
2014-04-04 02:50:59 AM
didn't drink when they were young, but damn this whole growing up and being smart mouth makes me happy that god made beer so tasty.
 
2014-04-04 02:52:40 AM
How do you jam out to AC/DC? Unless you are talking an Edison/Tesla cage match. That could be cool. Of course my 2 y/o daughter loves Justin Timberlake, so I probably shouldn't judge.
 
2014-04-04 02:53:06 AM
imgc-cn.artprintimages.com
 
2014-04-04 02:54:43 AM

roc6783: How do you jam out to AC/DC? Unless you are talking an Edison/Tesla cage match. That could be cool. Of course my 2 y/o daughter loves Justin Timberlake, so I probably shouldn't judge.


Iron Man. <---my spirit hero and one of my boy's absolute favorites.
 
2014-04-04 02:59:23 AM

roc6783: There isn't an adult on my mom's side that doesn't have an alcohol or drug dependency, and my dad (adopted, no family history) went through rehab when I was a toddler. I don't have the urge to drink, but when I do drink, I find it difficult to stop at one or 2, but I usually can if no one else is drinking heavily. It is easier since my wife doesn't drink (she isn't against it, she just has a very low tolerance and doesn't really enjoy being drunk so one for her is like 5 or 6 for me) and I feel like a degenerate if I drink by myself.


It's actually a good thing that you've figured out that you can stop at a couple of drinks depending on the crowd and that your wife doesn't drink especially if there's a family history of alcoholism.  WIthout getting into details I understand where you are coming from but the fact that you have learned to stop at a couple of drinks is a plus, I've known people who can't and it can get pretty ugly at times.
 
2014-04-04 03:11:16 AM
@irish - I absolutely hate Beyonce, but when my girl dances with the Chippette's "Single Ladies" video, I laugh my face off every time and just hope my ears stop bleeding one day. I had some initial success with Stevie Ray Vaughn, but my wife and I have compromised on Macklemore (my musical tastes are a bit more eclectic than hers).
 
2014-04-04 03:12:52 AM

irishdncr83: roc6783: How do you jam out to AC/DC? Unless you are talking an Edison/Tesla cage match. That could be cool. Of course my 2 y/o daughter loves Justin Timberlake, so I probably shouldn't judge.

Iron Man. <---my spirit hero and one of my boy's absolute favorites.


"Iron Man" was by Black Sabbath.
 
2014-04-04 03:17:12 AM
No, they don't want it for themselves.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-04 03:20:38 AM

UsikFark: irishdncr83: roc6783: How do you jam out to AC/DC? Unless you are talking an Edison/Tesla cage match. That could be cool. Of course my 2 y/o daughter loves Justin Timberlake, so I probably shouldn't judge.

Iron Man. <---my spirit hero and one of my boy's absolute favorites.

"Iron Man" was by Black Sabbath.


Eh, six of one...

i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-04 03:21:14 AM
Orangehat - my grandmother forbid drinking at our family holidays for as long as I can remember. Then she died of cancer 2 weeks before Christmas. A lot of stuff has been damaged by stumbling drunks over the last 9 years. The genes are why I never snorted or injected anything. Smoked my share, your share, and 10 of your closest friend's shares of pot in my late teens/early 20s, but stayed well clear of anything harder.
 
2014-04-04 03:30:55 AM

roc6783: @irish - I absolutely hate Beyonce, but when my girl dances with the Chippette's "Single Ladies" video, I laugh my face off every time and just hope my ears stop bleeding one day. I had some initial success with Stevie Ray Vaughn, but my wife and I have compromised on Macklemore (my musical tastes are a bit more eclectic than hers).


Years ago I was in the car with my family and I was listening to music in the back seat with my headphones on.  My parents were up front and the car stereo was playing something so I was listening loud enough to try to tune out their music.  My dad started yelling about how loud my music was and then asked to hear it.  In my youthful ignorance I made the mistake of giving him the CD and then got to listen to him run his mouth for the next hour or so about why the music I was listening to sucked in great detail.
If you're in college, never ever agree to take a cross country trip with your family.  If you don't have a choice and they ask to listen to what you are listening to knowing that they'll probably hate it you might be better off just chucking your CDs out the window.
Considering my mom once responded to some teenagers revving their engine and bumping rap music  by saying by telling me not to do what she was about to do once I started driving, rolling down the windows, turning the volume up as loud as it would go while listening to opera and then giving them the finger right before peeling out when the light turned green I should have known better.
 
2014-04-04 03:35:02 AM
If you need to medicate yourself just to spend time with your kids, maybe consider putting them in preschool a couple days a week.

For everyone babe.
 
2014-04-04 03:37:37 AM

irishdncr83: alice_600:
Not to be a pain but when do you have severe anxiety?

Whenever it feels like showing up. Usually when I have to deal with people in person. I prefer social media and e-mails for communication. Trying to play with my son, I have forgotten how to play, and I start getting upset because I'm afraid I'm letting him down and he's judging me. I try me level best to make up for the fact that I lack the ability to play with him sometimes.


I don't have kids yet, but this is my big fear. I have anxiety issues of the BOO! HI! HERE I AM! variety too and find myself feeling as you described when young relatives and friends' kids want me to play. And it's frustrating because it's PLAYING! It should be simple and if not for that one misfiring bit of grey matter it would be, but apparently I came with the Abby Normal brain equipped.

Tl;dnr: You just gave me hope that I won't be a totally sucky mom because of my anxiety. Thank you.
 
2014-04-04 03:39:50 AM

farkingismybusiness: [justlookatthis.com image 356x459]



i.imgur.com  i.imgur.com

Sarah Connor?
 
2014-04-04 03:42:47 AM
Speaking of kids and music, playing music videos on youtube and dancing to them (while drinking or not) is a fun thing to do. The Gorillaz have animated music videos and catchy songs. Also any videos with cardboard robots in them are usually a hit like Intergalactic, Party Rock Anthem, and this video by the Aquabats.

No cardboard robots but this video by the Violent Femmes is one of his favorites right now. Peaches is always a crowd pleaser. And there's always this.

/further suggestions for music videos that are fun for both kids and drunk parents welcome
 
2014-04-04 03:47:15 AM

roc6783: Orangehat - my grandmother forbid drinking at our family holidays for as long as I can remember. Then she died of cancer 2 weeks before Christmas. A lot of stuff has been damaged by stumbling drunks over the last 9 years. The genes are why I never snorted or injected anything. Smoked my share, your share, and 10 of your closest friend's shares of pot in my late teens/early 20s, but stayed well clear of anything harder.


That's very smart of you, keep it up.  When they made it legal to buy weed in stores here I bought some because I could...3 months later I probably have 90 percent of it.  I like to drink though but if I do I never drive (unless I've had 1 beer) and I've figured out through a lot of trial and error what my limits are and I've been blessed with the ability for the sober inner me to be able to tell the very drunk me to pay my tab and go home before I can't make it.
Oddly enough I drank more alcohol in the 4 years after getting out of college than I drank during college but a big part of that was that I realized it was better for everyone around me to have a sober person when people were doing to start doing dumb things; once I got to the point where I didn't have to be the guy who was inevitably called on to make the Taco Bell run I was able to go out drinking and enjoy it instead of worrying about the fact that my friends were going to do something very stupid in a few hours and it was up to me to keep them from doing it.
 
2014-04-04 03:48:19 AM
Orangehat - I am pretty tolerant of most music, but ya, my parents are total get off my lawn speakers toward anything that has been recorded since the eighties. And i hate trips with anyone other than my wife and daughter. I thought it was me, but nope, turns out other people are terrible if you have to see them for more than 2 days in a row.
 
2014-04-04 03:58:35 AM
If it were completely legal, as in no repercussions from a hot test, I would probably smoke/vape, but I'm not going to risk a misdemeanor or a job offer to get high regularly. I will tie one on a few times a year, but now with a two year old, there is no sleeping off a hangover. I think that is my biggest demotivator for drinking more than rarely.
 
2014-04-04 03:58:51 AM

roc6783: Orangehat - I am pretty tolerant of most music, but ya, my parents are total get off my lawn speakers toward anything that has been recorded since the eighties. And i hate trips with anyone other than my wife and daughter. I thought it was me, but nope, turns out other people are terrible if you have to see them for more than 2 days in a row.


I like to troll the rest of the family by filling my Christmas list with music I know they are totally unwilling to buy.  They never buy it but it's still fun to know that they're groaning and rolling their eyes when I finally put together a list on Amazon and they get treated to such delights as Slayer's "The Vinyl Solution."
 
2014-04-04 04:05:22 AM

roc6783: If it were completely legal, as in no repercussions from a hot test, I would probably smoke/vape, but I'm not going to risk a misdemeanor or a job offer to get high regularly. I will tie one on a few times a year, but now with a two year old, there is no sleeping off a hangover. I think that is my biggest demotivator for drinking more than rarely.


That's the thing about it...here no one really cares but if you work for a big company it's still a concern and if you've got a child to care for you can't take the moral high road of deciding not to take drug tests on principal.  If you work for a company based in Colorado and didn't test positive for weed they'd probably think you doctored the test but if you work for some big corporation where they do it to get a break for their insurance company it's a part of the game.
Hangovers suck but I imagine having a hangover with a toddler would be excruciating...I don't have any kids but I imagine that would be the morning from hell.
 
2014-04-04 04:08:27 AM
i527.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-04 04:18:55 AM

GloomCookie613: irishdncr83: alice_600:
Not to be a pain but when do you have severe anxiety?

Whenever it feels like showing up. Usually when I have to deal with people in person. I prefer social media and e-mails for communication. Trying to play with my son, I have forgotten how to play, and I start getting upset because I'm afraid I'm letting him down and he's judging me. I try me level best to make up for the fact that I lack the ability to play with him sometimes.

I don't have kids yet, but this is my big fear. I have anxiety issues of the BOO! HI! HERE I AM! variety too and find myself feeling as you described when young relatives and friends' kids want me to play. And it's frustrating because it's PLAYING! It should be simple and if not for that one misfiring bit of grey matter it would be, but apparently I came with the Abby Normal brain equipped.

Tl;dnr: You just gave me hope that I won't be a totally sucky mom because of my anxiety. Thank you.


If you care about your kids you'll be a good mom.  A lot of people suck at parenting and it has nothing to do with anxiety.  One thing I've noticed about people I know with kids is that often times people who think that they'll be bad parents because of whatever turn out to be great parents.  I have a friend who always thought she was not cut out for motherhood because of various reasons and 15 years later her kids are well adjusted awesome people and she's a great mom mainly because she cares about them and made sure that her kids knew that no matter what happened that she was there for them no matter what.
I don't have kids but from seeing what happened to the people I know who do have kids it seems like when the realization that you have a child and that child needs you as a parent seems to change people in ways that are seemingly impossible...the big thing about having kids is that as long as they know that you love them, care for them and are there for them no matter what they'll turn out OK.  Sometimes the best parents are the people who are worried about whether they'd be good parents and not the people who think they'd be good parents because the ones who wonder if they really should have kids go the extra mile to make sure that the child knows that they're cared for and loved.
 
2014-04-04 04:38:10 AM
Anyone have that old photoshop thread of the pregnant lady belching her alcohol and puffing smokes?
 
2014-04-04 05:55:16 AM
God dammit, now I want mead!
 
2014-04-04 05:59:17 AM
There's a group of moms that get together every Friday night to play bunco.  However, it is now referred to as 'drunko,' but I have absolutely no idea why.
 
2014-04-04 06:16:53 AM
100% of fathers agree.
 
2014-04-04 06:33:48 AM
"It makes me feel human again after I've been beaten down all week," added another.

I think this quote is much more depressing than moms having a glass of wine once in a while.
 
2014-04-04 06:39:36 AM
Ric Romero Reporting...

John Lennon wrote a song about it.
 
2014-04-04 06:42:32 AM
There's a reason Chuck E Cheese's sells wine and beer and has a parent quiet room.
 
2014-04-04 07:23:12 AM

roc6783: There isn't an adult on my mom's side that doesn't have an alcohol or drug dependency, and my dad (adopted, no family history) went through rehab when I was a toddler. I don't have the urge to drink, but when I do drink, I find it difficult to stop at one or 2, but I usually can if no one else is drinking heavily. It is easier since my wife doesn't drink (she isn't against it, she just has a very low tolerance and doesn't really enjoy being drunk so one for her is like 5 or 6 for me) and I feel like a degenerate if I drink by myself.


My dad's side is like that.  Only my dad has gone full dry, and my bro and I just lost interest in drinking altogether.  So at family reunions, my bro and I are the only adult men without beers in our hands.  Now I'm not saying they all hit the beer hard, because they all calmed down and are just simple beer drinkers now, but that wasn't the case when my uncles were young.

As for me, when I did drink, I had one hard rule and that was to not drink when I was upset.  A second rule which I held to but wasn't a hard rule was to never get smashed.  I've been too drunk to drive maybe twice, but I didn't drive and didn't get to the point of a hangover.  The most I drank in one day was half of a fifth of rum, so really tame.  Later I lost interest, but I never tasted Bud or any lite beers, it was either trying a hard liquor or microbrews that are now popular.  I bought six pack bottles, and didn't buy the same beer twice.
 
2014-04-04 08:13:01 AM
Fun fact:  When you stop using alcohol to cope with daily stresses, those stresses become less stressful.  It's just the way alcohol works - what goes down, must come up.  It decreases anxiety when you're buzzed, therefore it will increase anxiety the day after.

But I guess when you grew up working in an office "living for the weekend", that can be a pretty hard habit to break.
 
2014-04-04 08:16:37 AM
I remember when my mom stopped taking ludes and started drinking. She got all hostile one day, and accidently slammed a heavy glass door on my little brother's hand. She piled us all into the car and wove us to the hospital, where some doctors put his hand back together. Fortunately, drunk driving wasn't frowned on at the time because she was too drunk to make a phone call.
Anyway, if your drinking is causing you to weird out around your kids, you should try ludes.
 
2014-04-04 08:19:10 AM
virginvinylrecords.com
 
2014-04-04 08:21:51 AM

Strongbeerrules: Mine drank herself to death in '89.  Nobody cared.


My dad drank himself to death in '04.

Using any substance to cope with the stress of an everyday situation like "parenting" means you have a problem.

/have two kids under 5, one of which has a speech delay and can be a big handful
//I only drink in a social situation and never on a playdate, where I am responsible for my children
 
2014-04-04 08:25:46 AM
 Forty percent of mothers say alcohol helps them cope with stress of parenting living in fascist 'murcia and OMG DON'T MAKE ME COME BACK THERE


Corrected.
 
2014-04-04 08:54:51 AM

Fafai: Drinking and playing with your kids is fun. My favorite is on halloween, I get a travel mug and make myself a hot alcoholic beverage and take them around trick or treating.


Cheers!

At my 5 year old's birthday party at the pool last summer I made Dirty Arnold Palmers (Ice tea vodka, lemonade) for the parents.  Everyone was shocked at how good an idea that was and they wondered why no one else does it.

/  No one got drunk
// Hired a lifeguard to help watch the kids, so shut your judgemental traps!
 
2014-04-04 09:00:26 AM
My mother had the wisdom to wait until her children had grown into adulthood before she began drinking heavily.

/I would drink heavily if I had children.
//Or if I had to be within proximity to children for any length of time.
///Pedophobia does that.
 
2014-04-04 09:09:23 AM
Moms drinking wine = omg bad
Dads drinking a 6 pack after work to unwind = just how it is.

Ha! I'm a stay at home mom. My kids are lucky I only have a glass or two of wine. Some moms I know take their kids adhd pills or smoke pot or take pain pills they purchase from other people. Then there are the ones that chose to toughit out and end up screaming at their kids.

This mommy might be tispy but atleast I'm not breakin' the law or yelling.
 
2014-04-04 09:11:14 AM
Don't farking procreate if you don't want the responsibility.  Nobody is making you pop out pups, ffs do the job right or not at all.
 
2014-04-04 09:15:12 AM
I can do the job right without it. But some days I can do it even better with! God bless this magic bottle.
 
2014-04-04 09:52:56 AM

maddermaxx: Atomic Spunk: Recognizing the dangers of drinking, this mom group has rules and practices moderation when it comes to alcohol: No more than one drink per play date, and everyone walks home.

[art4evermore.wordpress.com image 387x333]
Yeah, that sounds about right.


Tisdale is $3.49 a bottle.

It's disgusting.
 
2014-04-04 10:13:46 AM

Jae0o0: Moms drinking wine = omg bad
Dads drinking a 6 pack after work to unwind = just how it is.

Ha! I'm a stay at home mom. My kids are lucky I only have a glass or two of wine. Some moms I know take their kids adhd pills or smoke pot or take pain pills they purchase from other people. Then there are the ones that chose to toughit out and end up screaming at their kids.

This mommy might be tispy but atleast I'm not breakin' the law or yelling.


Pot doesn't kill you, alcohol does, enjoy an extra one for us snobby uneducated person!
 
2014-04-04 10:25:39 AM
As a single parent (my daughter was 18 months when her father and I separated), I would like to add my 2 cents to all the vitriol in here.

Even as a kid, I wasn't good with other kids.  Always preferred to hang around the adults or play alone/read.  Fast forward to my late 20s/early 30s I was a single parent of a toddler.  A human just learning to talk and can't yet read or pay attention to movies or whatnot for very long was a tough place to be in.  It sounds so simple, "just use your imagination! Playing is fun!"  Toddler/young child stuff is not fun for an adult.  Watching her discover the world?  Totally awesome.  Watching her discover the same thing over and over and over again (yes, honey, some cows are brown and some are black & white.  HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO SAY THAT?)?  It gets old to an adult.  That's one of the crucial differences between childhood and adulthood.  So, at times, when at home, an adult beverage drops one's inhibitions a bit and the creativity begins to flow a little better.  Hell, just ask all those troubled creative types that tend to also do some of their best brainstorming after some sort of chemical/medicinal intervention.  It's SCIENCE! (citation needed)
 
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