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(Mirror.co.uk)   Ceiling rat is watching you masturbate (w/pics)   (mirror.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Scary, EU law, ceilings, moderates, cats  
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13443 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2014 at 1:11 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



69 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-03 11:50:07 PM  
goodcleanfunlife.com

/obscure?
 
2014-04-03 11:51:40 PM  
Pest controller Marcus Giusti, who captured it, warned an invasion of monster-sized rats was possible after changes to EU law limits the use of poisons to kill them.

I hear beer works just dandy.
 
2014-04-04 12:30:59 AM  
Just in time for raturday.
 
2014-04-04 01:16:05 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-04 01:17:03 AM  
LOOK AT THEM! They're so cute.img.fark.net
 
2014-04-04 01:17:49 AM  

calbert: /obscure?


R.O.U.Ses?

/I don't think they exist.
//never obscure.
 
2014-04-04 01:18:30 AM  
Nicely done, subby.  An opportunity like that doesn't come around often.

+1
 
2014-04-04 01:25:03 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: LOOK AT THEM! They're so cute.[img.fark.net image 468x314]

img.fark.net

Oh look, it's another ad for that new del Toro TV show "The Strain"

/He is here
 
2014-04-04 01:25:45 AM  
"Fleas the size of rats sucked on rats the size of cats, and ten thousand peopleoids split into small tribes coveting the highest of the sterile skyscrapers..."
 
Rat
2014-04-04 01:25:53 AM  
And you're doing it wrong

 
2014-04-04 01:28:00 AM  
Rat tat tat tat. I never hesitate to put a rodent on it's back.
 
2014-04-04 01:29:20 AM  
Well there's rat cake ... rat sorbet ... rat pudding ... or strawberry tart.
 
2014-04-04 01:40:35 AM  
Subby lied,  there aren't any masturbation pics in the article.
 
2014-04-04 01:40:49 AM  
They could use rat-eating plants to be ecological: They are Earth-friendly! What could possibly go wrong?

frederickfoxtrott.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-04 01:44:42 AM  

charlesmartel11235: [i.imgur.com image 700x420]


cdn.uproxx.com
 
2014-04-04 01:53:10 AM  
I like watching women masturbate

If loving that is wrong then i don't want to be right
 
2014-04-04 01:55:15 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-04 01:56:09 AM  

calbert: [goodcleanfunlife.com image 450x240]

/obscure?


I don't think they exist
 
2014-04-04 01:57:11 AM  
fta This could be down to household waste being dumped around estates and the climate warming.

Only ourselves to blame. Al Gore warned us. Rising sea levels, storm surge, ceiling rats.
 
2014-04-04 01:58:21 AM  

fusillade762: Pest controller Marcus Giusti, who captured it, warned an invasion of monster-sized rats was possible after changes to EU law limits the use of poisons to kill them.

I hear beer works just dandy.


Airsoft? Though I have no idea if that's legal over there.

You know, they eat those things in France. Maybe we should turn to rat for the global food crises.
 
2014-04-04 02:02:26 AM  
Nice job subby.
 
2014-04-04 02:05:52 AM  

ladyfortuna: fusillade762: Pest controller Marcus Giusti, who captured it, warned an invasion of monster-sized rats was possible after changes to EU law limits the use of poisons to kill them.

I hear beer works just dandy.

Airsoft? Though I have no idea if that's legal over there.

You know, they eat those things in France. Maybe we should turn to rat for the global food crises.


It tastes like, and cooks like, chicken.
 
2014-04-04 02:06:56 AM  

Badgers: [i.imgur.com image 245x184]


i don't know if i should go squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee or eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww...

/ i am so confused...
 
2014-04-04 02:09:35 AM  
 
2014-04-04 02:13:08 AM  
Dudes I seriously spit all over my phone seeing that pic how like ceiling cat that shiat is.. Holy shiat lol
 
2014-04-04 02:15:20 AM  
Second paragraph says:

Terrified homeowner..
Can't tell that not funny as shiat..
 
2014-04-04 02:16:12 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: LOOK AT THEM! They're so cute.[img.fark.net image 468x314]


Eww...that's just nasty.  There's a baby getting in their milk.

/I really want to visit the Karni Mata temple
//A 2ft pet rat would be rather snuggly, I bet
 
2014-04-04 02:18:05 AM  
OMG best part;

A family has told of their horror..

Holy shiat dying here..
 
2014-04-04 02:25:56 AM  

i1.ytimg.com

Toilet rat is watching you defecate.
 
2014-04-04 02:32:31 AM  
RatMaster999:
//A 2ft pet rat would be rather snuggly, I bet

You know those things will eat an incapacitated person, right? Happily?

/or so I've heard
 
2014-04-04 02:33:06 AM  

ladyfortuna: RatMaster999:
//A 2ft pet rat would be rather snuggly, I bet

You know those things will eat an incapacitated person, right? Happily?

/or so I've heard


They start with the balls and the eyes.
 
2014-04-04 02:46:45 AM  
Colin Watts told the Birmingham Mail: "One of the biggest I've seen must have been 14 or 15 inches long.

"That was just the body, without the tail. With its tail it would have been over 2ft. It was like a small cat."

This revelation comes just a matter of days after a huge rodent - dubbed "Ratzilla" - was snared in Sweden.

Holy shiat I'm dying here.. It's like every old man who claims to have almost caught the 2ft trout in their local lake, hilarious..
 
2014-04-04 02:58:15 AM  
You call that a rat? Hah! In my day, they were too big to fit in the ceiling.

i.imgur.com

In a former communist country, rat fapped you!


/and we liked it!
 
2014-04-04 03:27:55 AM  

calbert: [goodcleanfunlife.com image 450x240]

/obscure?


Obscure? Inconceivable!
 
2014-04-04 03:29:08 AM  
Of course subby . I always masturbate w/pics.
 
2014-04-04 04:50:56 AM  
What if it was Gadget from Rescue Rangers watching you masturbate?
 
2014-04-04 05:09:03 AM  
After owning a pet rat or two and becoming accustomed to how friendly they are (they will prompt you to scratch them all day long), movies depicting rats as evil seem hilarious. The spell is broken and you know you are watching a bunch of movie animals specialist's trained pets. Hearing people shake with fright from what is possibly an escaped dumbo rat is cracking me up.

Once there was a huge spider in my house and I killed it. The body of it was so huge, like a small hamburger patty. the legs were short and hairy, and the thing ran across the bedroom walls with lightning speed. I sprayed ut with bathroom cleaners. Afterward, I looked up the species online and I felt bad after I realized I'd exterminated someone's pet tarantula.
 
2014-04-04 07:25:55 AM  

Cerebral Ballsy: After owning a pet rat or two and becoming accustomed to how friendly they are (they will prompt you to scratch them all day long), movies depicting rats as evil seem hilarious. The spell is broken and you know you are watching a bunch of movie animals specialist's trained pets. Hearing people shake with fright from what is possibly an escaped dumbo rat is cracking me up.

Once there was a huge spider in my house and I killed it. The body of it was so huge, like a small hamburger patty. the legs were short and hairy, and the thing ran across the bedroom walls with lightning speed. I sprayed ut with bathroom cleaners. Afterward, I looked up the species online and I felt bad after I realized I'd exterminated someone's pet tarantula.


Rats are intelligent, social animals. Spiders...well, they're f*cking creepy.
 
2014-04-04 07:28:33 AM  

calbert: /obscure?


Nothing is obscure on fark.
 
2014-04-04 07:31:20 AM  

Slick Johnson: Of course subby . I always masturbate w/pics.


I use my hand. Less chance of paper cuts.
 
2014-04-04 07:36:13 AM  
Joke's on the rodent. I'm masturbating to rat porn!
 
2014-04-04 07:49:57 AM  
The huge rodent, measuring 2ft from nose to tail, was captured in the loft of the Walters' home by pest control workers.

Aw it's just a baby; leave it alone!
 
2014-04-04 07:55:46 AM  

Cerebral Ballsy: After owning a pet rat or two and becoming accustomed to how friendly they are (they will prompt you to scratch them all day long), movies depicting rats as evil seem hilarious. The spell is broken and you know you are watching a bunch of movie animals specialist's trained pets. Hearing people shake with fright from what is possibly an escaped dumbo rat is cracking me up.


Feral rats ain't pet rats. They have no problem biting and clawing people & pets, and they're one of the most common rabies vectors; an infected rat is basically the violent tweaker of the rat world. The shot schedule you have to go through after getting bit SUCKS.

Sure a wild fat rat might be docile, but I wouldn't bet on it. I bet most could be tamed though.
 
2014-04-04 07:59:18 AM  
We're gonna need a bigger cat...
 
2014-04-04 08:01:43 AM  

Mralterego: Colin Watts told the Birmingham Mail: "One of the biggest I've seen must have been 14 or 15 inches long.

"That was just the body, without the tail. With its tail it would have been over 2ft. It was like a small cat."

This revelation comes just a matter of days after a huge rodent - dubbed "Ratzilla" - was snared in Sweden.

Holy shiat I'm dying here.. It's like every old man who claims to have almost caught the 2ft trout in their local lake, hilarious..


I came to see if the norwegian giant rat was the subject of the article. that one was amazing. it gnawed through concrete. but maybe it was soft concrete like andy dufresne did.
 
2014-04-04 08:08:14 AM  
I am not skilled at these things, but the first pic in that article looks like it would blend almost seamlessly into the classic "Ceiling Cat" picture as an animated .gif, or even this one:

htstatic.ibsrv.net

Please, someone with time to waste...
 
2014-04-04 08:18:43 AM  

Squilax: I am not skilled at these things, but the first pic in that article looks like it would blend almost seamlessly into the classic "Ceiling Cat" picture as an animated .gif, or even this one:

[htstatic.ibsrv.net image 799x531]

Please, someone with time to waste...


Holy crap, that cat was on Arakas!!!!  Spice must flow!
 
2014-04-04 08:19:17 AM  
you ought to see the size of the rats on Capital Hill.
 
2014-04-04 08:21:27 AM  
Rats are not inherently any more dirty than any other animal in the wild.  they become dirty and disease infested when they live among humans.

in the wild, they are no dirtier than a squirrel.
 
2014-04-04 08:30:48 AM  

FullMetalPanda: Squilax: I am not skilled at these things, but the first pic in that article looks like it would blend almost seamlessly into the classic "Ceiling Cat" picture as an animated .gif, or even this one:

[htstatic.ibsrv.net image 799x531]

Please, someone with time to waste...

Holy crap, that cat was on Arakas!!!!  Spice must flow!


Came from a moderately amusing thread on some car forum: http://honda-tech.com/showthread.php?t%3D2533139  but yeah, that's a Fremen cat if I've ever seen one.

Just finished re-reading Dune for the 5th time, have both the miniseries and the wonderfully zany '84 David Lynch version all queue'd up to watch when my work week ends.
 
2014-04-04 08:37:48 AM  

Linux_Yes: Rats are not inherently any more dirty than any other animal in the wild.  they become dirty and disease infested when they live among humans.

in the wild, they are no dirtier than a squirrel.


But looks are everything.
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-04 08:46:28 AM  

Linux_Yes: Rats are not inherently any more dirty than any other animal in the wild.  they become dirty and disease infested when they live among humans.

in the wild, they are no dirtier than a squirrel.


But Squirrel's got personality, personality goes a long way.
www.adagio.com
 
2014-04-04 08:58:16 AM  

Deep Contact: Linux_Yes: Rats are not inherently any more dirty than any other animal in the wild.  they become dirty and disease infested when they live among humans.

in the wild, they are no dirtier than a squirrel.

But looks are everything.
[i.imgur.com image 680x453]



very True. in TV Land, Looks are Paramount.  course, when you grow up, you begin to see that is not always true.
 
2014-04-04 09:00:06 AM  

probesport: Linux_Yes: Rats are not inherently any more dirty than any other animal in the wild.  they become dirty and disease infested when they live among humans.

in the wild, they are no dirtier than a squirrel.

But Squirrel's got personality, personality goes a long way.
[www.adagio.com image 700x300]



oops, gotcha!

in the Wild, Pigs are not any dirtier than any other animal.  its when they are confined by Humans in a small pen that they become dirty.

nice try.  i did enjoy it, though.  (:
 
2014-04-04 09:08:48 AM  

RobSeace: We're gonna need a bigger cat...


I'm sure we have top men working on this right now.

static.fjcdn.com

Top... Men...
 
2014-04-04 09:14:55 AM  

Badgers: [i.imgur.com image 245x184]



there's the 'dirty' mouse/rat washing itself.
 
2014-04-04 09:16:17 AM  

Linux_Yes: probesport: Linux_Yes: Rats are not inherently any more dirty than any other animal in the wild.  they become dirty and disease infested when they live among humans.

in the wild, they are no dirtier than a squirrel.

But Squirrel's got personality, personality goes a long way.
[www.adagio.com image 700x300]


oops, gotcha!

in the Wild, Pigs are not any dirtier than any other animal.  its when they are confined by Humans in a small pen that they become dirty.

nice try.  i did enjoy it, though.  (:


This has nothing to do with personality.
 
2014-04-04 09:21:01 AM  

foxyshadis: Cerebral Ballsy: After owning a pet rat or two and becoming accustomed to how friendly they are (they will prompt you to scratch them all day long), movies depicting rats as evil seem hilarious. The spell is broken and you know you are watching a bunch of movie animals specialist's trained pets. Hearing people shake with fright from what is possibly an escaped dumbo rat is cracking me up.

Feral rats ain't pet rats. They have no problem biting and clawing people & pets, and they're one of the most common rabies vectors; an infected rat is basically the violent tweaker of the rat world. The shot schedule you have to go through after getting bit SUCKS.

Sure a wild fat rat might be docile, but I wouldn't bet on it. I bet most could be tamed though.


Most people who grew up by a river where it wasn't developed, just piers, barges, maybe a warehouse saw river rats the size of cats. Scared the crap outta ya when the vegetation russled that hard, but they pretty much avoided humans.
Was there a lot in the summer, sneaking swimming n beers.
 
2014-04-04 09:27:13 AM  
So how many farkers read the headline and their fist thought was "at least *someone* is then!"
 
2014-04-04 10:33:12 AM  

fusillade762: Pest controller Marcus Giusti, who captured it, warned an invasion of monster-sized rats was possible after changes to EU law limits the use of poisons to kill them.

I hear beer works just dandy.


A pan of antifreeze works good.
 
2014-04-04 10:34:46 AM  
vintagefootage.net
 
2014-04-04 10:52:12 AM  

kdawg7736: [vintagefootage.net image 850x850]


An old buddy was in the band Ratt before they hit it big.
 
2014-04-04 11:05:19 AM  

Lord Farkwad: fusillade762: Pest controller Marcus Giusti, who captured it, warned an invasion of monster-sized rats was possible after changes to EU law limits the use of poisons to kill them.

I hear beer works just dandy.

A pan of antifreeze works good.


There are many foods that will make rats sick or kill them. It's actually a bit of a challenge to keep them alive which sucks because the domesticated ones make great pets (for as long as they last).
They are as happy to see you as a dog when you get home. The only down side is their life expectancy is short and mine have been as difficult to litter train as a dog would be (if anybody did that).

I accidentally left their cage open on two occasions and both times, instead of running away, their first compulsion was to come find me. And they did. I've never had any other pet rodent do that.
 
2014-04-04 11:09:15 AM  

calbert: [goodcleanfunlife.com image 450x240]

/obscure?


I don't think that word means what you think it means
 
2014-04-04 11:56:27 AM  
So would this make the EA trifecta complete?
 
2014-04-04 03:20:02 PM  

ladyfortuna: RatMaster999:
//A 2ft pet rat would be rather snuggly, I bet

You know those things will eat an incapacitated person, right? Happily?

/or so I've heard


So will a hungry dog or cat, if they don't have access to something else.  So what's your point.
 
2014-04-04 03:45:52 PM  
C'mon farkers, you guys are slipping.

horrornews.net
 
2014-04-05 03:07:07 AM  
Stories like this make me glad I have a great big cat (we think he's a ragdoll mix -15lb is his healthy weight).

And before that, my family had cairn terriers. They're bred to go into rockpiles to hunt rats, and look exactly like a Westie, except tan or black instead of white. Toto in the Wizard of Oz movie was one, but he was really undersized - normally they're 15-20lb, and very solid, tough little dudes. But they're also adorable and happy to snuggle with you on the couch. Great little dogs.
 
2014-04-05 03:26:20 AM  
RatMaster999:
So will a hungry dog or cat, if they don't have access to something else.  So what's your point.

They're all animals, and they will eat us given the chance/reason. Much like I imagine we would, if the positions were reversed.

Happy?
 
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