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(The Week)   You think the STDs that humans get are scary? Be happy you aren't a cricket   (theweek.com) divider line 27
    More: Scary, STDs, field crickets, aphrodisiacs, chirps  
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4543 clicks; posted to Geek » on 03 Apr 2014 at 7:59 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-03 06:34:34 PM
Chirpes?
 
2014-04-03 07:01:25 PM
lol, wut?
 
2014-04-03 07:02:02 PM
www.firethepope.com
 
2014-04-03 07:19:16 PM
It's ok

/I wore a condom
 
Skr
2014-04-03 08:13:51 PM
I was going to say that the picture in the article looked more like Grasshoppers, but I guess they are crickets. The common crickets around Minnesota are a dark brown/black.

 I wonder if a virus like this could be tweaked to infest pest bugs. The no kids/aphrodisiac thing could work for humans too I guess.
 
2014-04-03 08:39:55 PM
img.fark.net

Wraps his rascal.
 
2014-04-03 08:42:29 PM
Jesus Christ, I refuse to click on that link because I'm terrified it depicts a horsehair worm.

No, I am not posting a link.

FINE!  YEEEAAARRRGGGHHH!!!

glasshalffooldotcom.files.wordpress.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so8ScD6m1MI
 
2014-04-03 08:56:04 PM
Let me get this straight: They bone like crazy, never get sick, and can't have kids? Sounds great!

(At least until the fungus they would have eaten decimates our crops.)
 
2014-04-03 09:26:40 PM
It's "Species", in cricket form.
 
2014-04-03 09:27:57 PM
I think that most viral infections have some degree of control over the host.

If you notice, someone will cough on a train during flu season. Then, another person. Soon, everyone with even a hint of a cold is coughing. I think, but have no proof, that it's the virii communicating. Once they have an infection going, they have some degree of control over our bodies. We give them the chance to coordinate and spread.
 
2014-04-03 09:41:43 PM
'e probably caught it in Belgium, guvn'r.
 
2014-04-03 11:28:25 PM
It's viagra AND a vascectomy? Yes please.
 
2014-04-04 12:02:39 AM

Parthenogenetic: Jesus Christ, I refuse to click on that link because I'm terrified it depicts a horsehair worm.

No, I am not posting a link.

FINE!  YEEEAAARRRGGGHHH!!!

[glasshalffooldotcom.files.wordpress.com image 437x332]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so8ScD6m1MI


i got used to the worms (as much as i could), and then it switched to the "mind control" worms...gah! that was horrible!  wonder if that was an inkling for hypnofrog...
 
2014-04-04 12:13:18 AM
Nope. Do not want.

Seriously though, if you want to see a REALLY terrifying infectious agent capable of modifying the host's behavior, do a little reading on cordyceps fungus, specifically Ophiocordyceps Unilateralis. Be thankful that shiat hasn't yet evolved past preying on arthropods.


Yet.
 
2014-04-04 12:19:02 AM

Fabric_Man: Let me get this straight: They bone like crazy, never get sick, and can't have kids? Sounds great!

(At least until the fungus they would have eaten decimates our crops.)


Exactly what I was thinking.  They need to turn that into a pill for men.  I'm done with having kids but I don't know anyone who's had a vasectomy to actually talk to about it.  Doctors have a vested interest...they have payments to make.
 
2014-04-04 03:34:07 AM

That Guy What Stole the Bacon: Nope. Do not want.

Seriously though, if you want to see a REALLY terrifying infectious agent capable of modifying the host's behavior, do a little reading on cordyceps fungus, specifically Ophiocordyceps Unilateralis. Be thankful that shiat hasn't yet evolved past preying on arthropods.


Yet.


Humans get therapeutic effects from cordyceps. Staple of Chinese medicine. The good species are up to $600 a kilo.
 
2014-04-04 06:34:25 AM
Can't wait for the fundies to start the finger pointing.

'see, the AIDS makes you gay'
 
2014-04-04 08:57:46 AM
ts1.mm.bing.net

Rapidly spinning in his grave.
 
2014-04-04 09:03:56 AM

Fabric_Man: Let me get this straight: They bone like crazy, never get sick, and can't have kids? Sounds great!

(At least until the fungus they would have eaten decimates our crops.)


I was prepared to express the same sentiment.
 
2014-04-04 09:17:28 AM
uh HIV encourages risk taking and sexual activity.
so does that cat one, Toxoplasmosis.

in fact most successful parasites modify their hosts behavior.

/be right back, gotta go climb to the top of this grass stalk and bite it, wish me luck!
 
2014-04-04 09:30:48 AM

WhoGAS: Fabric_Man: Let me get this straight: They bone like crazy, never get sick, and can't have kids? Sounds great!

(At least until the fungus they would have eaten decimates our crops.)

Exactly what I was thinking.  They need to turn that into a pill for men.  I'm done with having kids but I don't know anyone who's had a vasectomy to actually talk to about it.  Doctors have a vested interest...they have payments to make.


Not a doc. Had the snip. Do it. Gets your libido up, and the peace of mind alone is worth it. The first time I had sex after the snip was the first time I could really relax and forget about someone coming after me with a subpoena and some lame story about how I knocked her up because reasons
 
2014-04-04 09:47:02 AM
Upstream Color 2: Cricket Boogaloo
 
2014-04-04 10:24:45 AM
so... hypothetically speaking, if someone were to eat a cricket (say on a dare, or to win 20 bucks, whatever) that had this virus, what affect would it have a human body? Or can this virus not jump species yet?

I'm just asking, for a friend... that went down to texas and may have eaten a cricket or two...
 
2014-04-04 10:54:24 AM
Female black widows bite the heads off their mates after consummation.  I'd say that's a tad worse than any old STD.
 
2014-04-04 11:26:07 AM
Of course, this STD isn't very forward thinking by making the males infertile.  You're not supposed to reduce the population of the hosts you depend on for survival, duh.  I think the STD needs to rethink its strategy and come up with a new plan.
 
2014-04-04 12:30:20 PM

DivorceWar Veteran: Female black widows bite the heads off their mates after consummation.  I'd say that's a tad worse than any old STD.


Spider marriage is complicated.
 
2014-04-04 03:47:28 PM

doglover: I think that most viral infections have some degree of control over the host.

If you notice, someone will cough on a train during flu season. Then, another person. Soon, everyone with even a hint of a cold is coughing. I think, but have no proof, that it's the virii communicating. Once they have an infection going, they have some degree of control over our bodies. We give them the chance to coordinate and spread.


This is interesting because I notice myself needing to cough after I hear someone else with a cold cough - even if I hadn't had to right before I heard the other person cough.
 
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