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(WTSP)   Not news: Man wants cremains placed in a jar. Fark: Specifically a Duke's mayonnaise jar   (wtsp.com) divider line 57
    More: Florida, mayonnaise, mayonnaise jar, jars  
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1278 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2014 at 4:07 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



57 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-03 02:23:07 PM
What, he too good for a Folgers can?

i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-03 02:30:44 PM
www.savingwithshellie.com

Duke's sucks
 
2014-04-03 04:11:19 PM
2 posts and nobody else can play.  It's all downhill from here.
 
2014-04-03 04:11:39 PM
Is there a Ralph's nearby?
 
2014-04-03 04:12:37 PM
He sounded fat.
 
2014-04-03 04:12:47 PM

naughtyrev: What, he too good for a Folgers can?

[i.imgur.com image 640x480]


EVERYTHING'S A F#CKING TRAVESTY WITH YOU, MAN!
 
2014-04-03 04:13:07 PM
At my Mom's house, she has my dad's remains in a tupperware containder and my gandma's remains in a paper bag.
 
2014-04-03 04:14:21 PM
He wants to be made into Cremayo?
 
2014-04-03 04:14:37 PM

emotion_lotion: At my Mom's house, she has my dad's remains in a tupperware containder and my gandma's remains in a paper bag.


img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-04-03 04:15:53 PM

MooseBayou: 2 posts and nobody else can play.  It's all downhill from here.


I'll give it a shot.


Would anyone like some champagne?



i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-04-03 04:16:03 PM

bearded clamorer: [www.savingwithshellie.com image 240x240]

Duke's sucks


Anyone who thinks Miracle Whip is better than mayonnaise of any kind should be cremated alive and stored in a dirty Miracle Whip jar.
 
2014-04-03 04:18:42 PM
If his self-esteem was higher, he'd ask for a Hellmann's Blue Ribbon jar.
 
2014-04-03 04:18:42 PM
And then kept on Funk and Wagnall's porch until noon?
 
2014-04-03 04:18:58 PM
Best Foods is better than Hellmann's
 
2014-04-03 04:19:21 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-03 04:19:44 PM

DarkVader: bearded clamorer: [www.savingwithshellie.com image 240x240]

Duke's sucks

Anyone who thinks Miracle Whip is better than mayonnaise of any kind should be cremated alive and stored in a dirty Miracle Whip jar.


Feel free to cremate me. Mayonnaise is gross. Miracle Whip isn't my favorite but at least it's edible, unlike mayo.

/Hasn't had either one in over a year
 
2014-04-03 04:19:49 PM
Is it because he died too oily?
 
2014-04-03 04:19:51 PM

DarkVader: bearded clamorer: [www.savingwithshellie.com image 240x240]

Duke's sucks

Anyone who thinks Miracle Whip is better than mayonnaise of any kind should be cremated alive and stored in a dirty Miracle Whip jar.


Calm down, Hellmann
 
2014-04-03 04:20:03 PM
Why not a coffee can?

i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-04-03 04:20:08 PM
tanseibu.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-03 04:21:59 PM
Interesting Florida tag. But it's not happening in Florida.
 
2014-04-03 04:22:23 PM

Mirrorz: [i.imgur.com image 700x493]


That's pretty much as wrong as anything can ever get without bloodshed directly involved.

/though it would be as a result
 
2014-04-03 04:23:37 PM

naughtyrev: What, he too good for a Folgers can?

[i.imgur.com image 640x480]


What the fark was all that shait about Viet Nam?
 
2014-04-03 04:24:30 PM
Ohhhhh Yeahhhh

tosh.comedycentral.com
 
2014-04-03 04:25:09 PM
cremains

i440.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-03 04:27:30 PM
Goodnight, sweet prince.
 
2014-04-03 04:27:49 PM

erb4230: Interesting Florida tag. But it's not happening in Florida.


THIS.
 
2014-04-03 04:29:57 PM

Agent Smiths Laugh: Mirrorz: [i.imgur.com image 700x493]

That's pretty much as wrong as anything can ever get without bloodshed directly involved.

/though it would be as a result


A guy on our local sports radio was telling a story about how he got nailed by the ol "put mayo in a donut" trick. Just thinking about it....barf-o-rama.
 
2014-04-03 04:34:34 PM
Dear Ferrari,

When I die, I'd...
 
2014-04-03 04:35:50 PM

blatz514: Ohhhhh Yeahhhh

[tosh.comedycentral.com image 450x600]


At least she's discriminating enough to go with the olive oil blend. I mean, eating regular mayonnaise on the bus would just be trashy.
 
2014-04-03 04:39:23 PM
Perhaps he would have lived a bit longer had he laid off the mayo.

www.gianteagle.com
 
2014-04-03 04:40:51 PM
popshifter.com
 
2014-04-03 04:41:17 PM
dam1.cloud.kargo.com

Aioli is just mayonnaise!

/that series was underrated.
 
2014-04-03 04:44:08 PM
At least he doesn't want his cremains mixed into the mayonnaise itself.
And certainly not then mixed into a chicken salad to be served on finger rolls at his services.
 
2014-04-03 04:46:10 PM

Needlessly Complicated: [dam1.cloud.kargo.com image 300x193]

Aioli is just mayonnaise!

/that series was underrated.


Technically it's garlic flavored mayo, but yes, basically you're right.  And that show was underrated.
 
2014-04-03 04:48:40 PM

Combustion: Agent Smiths Laugh: Mirrorz: [i.imgur.com image 700x493]

That's pretty much as wrong as anything can ever get without bloodshed directly involved.

/though it would be as a result

A guy on our local sports radio was telling a story about how he got nailed by the ol "put mayo in a donut" trick. Just thinking about it....barf-o-rama.


well, if they had used Miracle whip, they probably would not have been able to tell the difference between that and the Boston Cream.

haters gonna hate... miracle whip is not mayo... it's Salad or sandwich dressing"

Mayo is one of the mother sauces..

In any case, there is a certain regional loyalty to Dukes mayo. Also known as Saurs. I will say I'm part of that regional exclusion zone and find Hellmans to be decent and nothing at wrong with it, more vinegary if anything, while Dukes tastes like.... "home"

miracle whip seems to be some kind of northern or midwestern thing to me.
 
2014-04-03 04:49:06 PM

bearded clamorer: Duke's sucks


Done in two.
 
2014-04-03 04:49:40 PM

LewDux: cremains

[i440.photobucket.com image 100x100]


It's a perfectly cromulent word...
 
2014-04-03 04:51:22 PM
"Besides having the best taste in a mayonnaise spread you can get, it's just always been a part of my life so," Larry said.
 
2014-04-03 04:53:26 PM
"That's not herb team that's Herb!"

/obscure?
 
2014-04-03 05:02:50 PM

pounddawg: Best Foods is better than Hellmann's


2/10
 
2014-04-03 05:06:57 PM
I read the photo credit as "(Photo: Kristen Hampton, WBTV CSB) ", and did a double take :)
 
2014-04-03 05:11:07 PM

zarker: pounddawg: Best Foods is better than Hellmann's

2/10


Naw, Hellmann's is much better than Best Foods, which is why it's sold in the best part of the country, and the hoi polloi have to make do with Best Foods.  Plus, water is a better hydrator than dihydrogen monoxide.

/if anyone ever refers to my cremated remains as "cremains", and not "ashes", they's gonna get a visit from a really pissed-off ghost
 
2014-04-03 05:12:47 PM
Mmmm.  Cremationnaise.
 
2014-04-03 05:22:06 PM

I_Am_Weasel: And then kept on Funk and Wagnall's porch until noon?


Came for this, leaving satisfied.
 
2014-04-03 05:23:08 PM

Xanadone: zarker: pounddawg: Best Foods is better than Hellmann's

2/10

Naw, Hellmann's is much better than Best Foods, which is why it's sold in the best part of the country, and the hoi polloi have to make do with Best Foods.  Plus, water is a better hydrator than dihydrogen monoxide.

/if anyone ever refers to my cremated remains as "cremains", and not "ashes", they's gonna get a visit from a really pissed-off ghost


What the hell are you talking about? It's the same thing and both are available where I live
 
2014-04-03 05:24:24 PM

zarker: Xanadone: zarker: pounddawg: Best Foods is better than Hellmann's

2/10

Naw, Hellmann's is much better than Best Foods, which is why it's sold in the best part of the country, and the hoi polloi have to make do with Best Foods.  Plus, water is a better hydrator than dihydrogen monoxide.

/if anyone ever refers to my cremated remains as "cremains", and not "ashes", they's gonna get a visit from a really pissed-off ghost

What the hell are you talking about? It's the same thing and both are available where I live


whoosh
 
2014-04-03 05:24:27 PM
Put me in an empty JD bottle.
 
2014-04-03 05:38:25 PM
"I don't care when I die, just throw me in the trash!" -It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
 
2014-04-03 06:24:51 PM
moviesfilmsmotionpictures.files.wordpress.com
Plainview: Stop crying, you sniveling ass! Stop your nonsense. You're just the afterbirth, Eli.
Eli Sunday: No...
Plainview: You slithered out of your mother's filth.
Eli Sunday: No.
Plainview: They should have put you in a glass jar on a mantlepiece!
Eli Sunday: No!
 
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