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(Washington Post)   Obama offers half a sandwich, and then wants that half sandwich back. This is not a metaphor   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 224
    More: Misc, President Obama, Paul Reubens  
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13579 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2014 at 3:15 PM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



224 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-03 04:31:25 PM  
President Insane Baroke Obumbler, the Black Death, Dwayne Alazandro Comacho Beef Supreme, commu-fascio-liebro-socialista Cesar the Hitler, Stealer of Thy Holy Guns and Monies, Destroyer of Worlds and Dreams, did commit the most grave of crimes in a Patriotic Deli full of Patriots in the most Patriotic region of this great nation of Patriots.  Upon entering the store, he raped all of the women. Then he held the cashier at knife point and said thusly "I shall rapeth one boy in the buttocks every minute until such time as thou dost bring me the most delicious of sammiches post hast" and then began promptly to rapeth the first boy in the buttocks.  The Patriotic Patriot-Americans scrambled to assemble the most delicious example of the most delicious of sammiches, the Ruben, faster than humanly possible, for these were Patriot Americans acting for a Righteous Cause, and were able to bring the Demon in Chief his sammich after only two boys had been raped in the buttocks.  The Devourer said unto them "Thank ye for this sammich.  I shall enjoy it greatly.  Then I shall rapeth you all in the buttocks."  The Monstrosity dislocated his jaw and engorged the sammich unto his maw in a single bite and swallowed it whole.  Then he proclaimed "My hunger has not been sated.  As punishment, I shall feast upon your genitals and rapeth you all in the buttocks."  Then, he did.
 
2014-04-03 04:32:14 PM  
Where are all the image.legios.org
 
2014-04-03 04:33:36 PM  
So, I took half of their income, but went through that so fast that I wanted the other half. However they had already spent that on things they needed for their families, so I took their furnature
 
2014-04-03 04:34:32 PM  

Profedius: Where are all the [image.legios.org image 400x300]


img.fark.net
img.fark.net
img.fark.net
 
2014-04-03 04:34:59 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: Is this some retarded version of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie?


That's my impression. There are some people really stretching to try to make the President's lunch into a metaphor for something.
 
2014-04-03 04:35:12 PM  

Carn: History's greatest monster.


i.chzbgr.com
 
2014-04-03 04:35:23 PM  

Kevin Lomax: Sounds like he's a reneger.


Csb:
I taught my 12 yo nephew that word and the meaning of it a couple of weeks ago as it had come up in conversation. I then recounted the scene from Rosco Jenkins and then instantly regretted it . I am now waiting for an angry phone call from my SIL when he eventually busts it at at school and gets suspended.
 
2014-04-03 04:35:39 PM  
It's a f*cking Reuben.

Get two.
 
2014-04-03 04:35:46 PM  

Devil's Playground: furnature


Indeed.
 
2014-04-03 04:36:10 PM  

Carn: President Insane Baroke Obumbler, the Black Death, Dwayne Alazandro Comacho Beef Supreme, commu-fascio-liebro-socialista Cesar the Hitler, Stealer of Thy Holy Guns and Monies, Destroyer of Worlds and Dreams, did commit the most grave of crimes in a Patriotic Deli full of Patriots in the most Patriotic region of this great nation of Patriots.  Upon entering the store, he raped all of the women. Then he held the cashier at knife point and said thusly "I shall rapeth one boy in the buttocks every minute until such time as thou dost bring me the most delicious of sammiches post hast" and then began promptly to rapeth the first boy in the buttocks.  The Patriotic Patriot-Americans scrambled to assemble the most delicious example of the most delicious of sammiches, the Ruben, faster than humanly possible, for these were Patriot Americans acting for a Righteous Cause, and were able to bring the Demon in Chief his sammich after only two boys had been raped in the buttocks.  The Devourer said unto them "Thank ye for this sammich.  I shall enjoy it greatly.  Then I shall rapeth you all in the buttocks."  The Monstrosity dislocated his jaw and engorged the sammich unto his maw in a single bite and swallowed it whole.  Then he proclaimed "My hunger has not been sated.  As punishment, I shall feast upon your genitals and rapeth you all in the buttocks."  Then, he did.


And on top of not having ready access to a corned beef sammich, I now have a serious case of the giggles.  You win an Internet, good sir!
 
2014-04-03 04:36:58 PM  
Look at the size of the sammich.  I got one at Philly's best the other day and it was half that size.

What a jip.
 
2014-04-03 04:37:18 PM  
cman:

/I bet you don't know what a whoopee pie is.

Um... is it a vagina?

Just kidding. I know what it is, and I know it's not as good as a proper Reuben.
 
2014-04-03 04:37:39 PM  

offmymeds: Carn: History's greatest monster.

[i.chzbgr.com image 500x412]


Wow he looks young.  Is that Candidate Obama?
 
2014-04-03 04:38:03 PM  

EvilEgg: Lando Lincoln: So the moral of the story is, if you're traveling with Obama and he offers you half of his sandwich, don't eat it until he's done with his half, and then see if he'd like the other half of the sandwich. And then just eat your potato chips in the back of the bus, silently weeping to yourself.

I thought the moral was eat it, because fark you, I got mine.


"Fark you, I'm eating!"
 
2014-04-03 04:38:28 PM  

drumhellar: cman:

/I bet you don't know what a whoopee pie is.

Um... is it a vagina?

Just kidding. I know what it is, and I know it's not as good as a proper Reuben.


How do you compare a dessert with a sandwhich?
 
2014-04-03 04:38:56 PM  

Por que tan serioso: Kevin Lomax: Sounds like he's a reneger.

Csb:
I taught my 12 yo nephew that word and the meaning of it a couple of weeks ago as it had come up in conversation. I then recounted the scene from Rosco Jenkins and then instantly regretted it . I am now waiting for an angry phone call from my SIL when he eventually busts it at at school and gets suspended.


Dude, That's what Uncles are for.

/See "Uncle Buck"

//Bravo Zulu!
 
2014-04-03 04:40:30 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Kind of off topic, but does Obama make the white people ride in the back of Air Force One? I would, if I were him...


The press seating area is towards the tail end, so yes, more or less.
 
2014-04-03 04:40:49 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Carn: President Insane Baroke Obumbler, the Black Death, Dwayne Alazandro Comacho Beef Supreme, commu-fascio-liebro-socialista Cesar the Hitler, Stealer of Thy Holy Guns and Monies, Destroyer of Worlds and Dreams, did commit the most grave of crimes in a Patriotic Deli full of Patriots in the most Patriotic region of this great nation of Patriots.  Upon entering the store, he raped all of the women. Then he held the cashier at knife point and said thusly "I shall rapeth one boy in the buttocks every minute until such time as thou dost bring me the most delicious of sammiches post hast" and then began promptly to rapeth the first boy in the buttocks.  The Patriotic Patriot-Americans scrambled to assemble the most delicious example of the most delicious of sammiches, the Ruben, faster than humanly possible, for these were Patriot Americans acting for a Righteous Cause, and were able to bring the Demon in Chief his sammich after only two boys had been raped in the buttocks.  The Devourer said unto them "Thank ye for this sammich.  I shall enjoy it greatly.  Then I shall rapeth you all in the buttocks."  The Monstrosity dislocated his jaw and engorged the sammich unto his maw in a single bite and swallowed it whole.  Then he proclaimed "My hunger has not been sated.  As punishment, I shall feast upon your genitals and rapeth you all in the buttocks."  Then, he did.

And on top of not having ready access to a corned beef sammich, I now have a serious case of the giggles.  You win an Internet, good sir!


Thanks, me too.
 
2014-04-03 04:40:59 PM  

tricycleracer: Zingerman's Reuben
Zingerman's corned beef, Switzerland Swiss cheese, Brinery sauerkraut & Russian dressing on grilled, hand-sliced Jewish rye bread.

Clearly a coded message to the Trilateral Commission giving the go-ahead for the disarmament of all American households and the institution of martial law.  And, of course, the Lamestream LIEbral Media says nothing.

Thanks, Obama.


Just for shiats and giggles I googled "trilateral commission infowars."

Yup.
 
2014-04-03 04:41:40 PM  
Ruebenghazi 4/3/14

Never forget.
 
2014-04-03 04:42:36 PM  
Holy shiat! Obama is more hardcore than I thought. He must be the first president ever who is having sunglasses for dinner.
 
2014-04-03 04:43:56 PM  

GoldSpider: tricycleracer: Zingerman's Reuben
Zingerman's corned beef, Switzerland Swiss cheese, Brinery sauerkraut & Russian dressing on grilled, hand-sliced Jewish rye bread.

Clearly a coded message to the Trilateral Commission giving the go-ahead for the disarmament of all American households and the institution of martial law.  And, of course, the Lamestream LIEbral Media says nothing.

Thanks, Obama.

Just for shiats and giggles I googled "trilateral commission infowars."

Yup.


I've heard of extreme masochism, but that's taking it to a whole new level.
 
2014-04-03 04:43:57 PM  
Paging Rep. Issa
 
2014-04-03 04:44:22 PM  

vernonFL: Ruebenghazi 4/3/14

Never forget.


Nice.  I can't believe it took this long.
 
2014-04-03 04:47:07 PM  

tricycleracer: vernonFL: Ruebenghazi 4/3/14

Never forget.

Nice.  I can't believe it took this long.


Yeah i actually had to quick scroll and look through every comment to make sure it hadnt been posted before, and I was kinda shocked that it hadn't been.
 
2014-04-03 04:49:55 PM  
is there something to be outraged over?  or does this go on the pile with mom jeans and binder clips?
 
2014-04-03 04:53:45 PM  
spicy mustard fiasco.   Now a half sandwich?    Really?  really...    this guy is just a disaster.
 
2014-04-03 04:55:01 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Moochelle gay folds of beef


Haven't you got anything better to do than repeat stupidities?

Go make me a f**kin sammich. With pickles.
 
2014-04-03 04:55:25 PM  
How is this even news? Or even FARK?
 
2014-04-03 04:58:29 PM  

wambu: How is this even news? Or even FARK?


Bingo!
 
2014-04-03 05:06:12 PM  
I think I'll get a Zingerman's sandwich sometime soon. It's been a while.
 
2014-04-03 05:07:07 PM  

wambu: How is this even news? Or even FARK?


Read the article.   Dude orders a small first of all.   Then only eats half and gives half away?

What planet does he come from?

Do you know who else was into eating half sandwiches
 
2014-04-03 05:07:41 PM  

wambu: How is this even news? Or even FARK?


because ... Reuben.... with RUSSIAN dressing.

OMG OBLAMMA BENGHAZI FOXXWARRRRRGRGGGLLL
 
2014-04-03 05:08:51 PM  
 
2014-04-03 05:09:21 PM  

Begoggle: REUBENGATE!!!!

/Also Benghazi


We need to come up with a menu of wrongly-named foodstuffs for Obama's last day in office. Maybe invent a few.
 
2014-04-03 05:10:48 PM  
I assume nobody paid for the sandwich because the government doesn't pay its bills and Obama and his entourage are the government. There's a real story there if the Washington Post would dig into it. Instead we get some sob story about a black man getting screwed over by whitey because he only got half a sandwich.
 
2014-04-03 05:14:00 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: If the President wants your pickle, you put your pickle on the President's plate.


i dunno man.......giving up a pickle.  not likely to happen.   might drive me over the edge.
 
2014-04-03 05:17:36 PM  
Man,  Putin would have ordered the large.   Ate the whole thing +the pickle,  then he would have taken a bag of chips from one of the other patrons and washed it all down with Jarret's coke.


Pffft..... half a small.    Good lord.
 
2014-04-03 05:19:59 PM  

GreatGlavinsGhost: Begoggle: REUBENGATE!!!!

/Also Benghazi

We need to come up with a menu of wrongly-named foodstuffs for Obama's last day in office. Maybe invent a few.


Roobenghazi.
 
2014-04-03 05:22:13 PM  

acad1228: tricycleracer: PainInTheASP: cman: I think the controversy here is it being called a reuben.

My dumbass fellow Mainers call subs Italians.

But seriously, its a Sub, or Submarine Sandwich.

And its called Soda. Its not pop, its soda.

Corned beef and sauerkraut is traditionally known as a Reuben.

/I should know.  I'm a professional sandwich eater.

Seriously, who doesn't know what a Reuben is?  Is it called a "Jew York Melt" in flyover country?

Speaking for Oklahoma, a Reuben here is corned beef and sauerkraut on rye. Sometimes it's served with swiss cheese. Always with brown mustard Russian Dressing.


FTFY. Well, in the more civilized states anyway...
 
2014-04-03 05:22:51 PM  

oryx: I am a dull person


yeah whatever
 
2014-04-03 05:23:58 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Sin_City_Superhero: If the President wants your pickle, you put your pickle on the President's plate.

Fark that.  It's my pickle.  If he wants it he's going to have to trade me some of his fries just like everybody else.


I like you when you're drunk!
 
2014-04-03 05:25:39 PM  
"President Plays Pickle Prank"
 
2014-04-03 05:27:04 PM  
My bet is that they will be rolling the windows down on Air Force one on the way back tonight.  Valerie looks like she would push one out that could stop a clock, then Obama could dutch oven the whole plane.
 
2014-04-03 05:28:06 PM  

Katolu: Smeggy Smurf: Sin_City_Superhero: If the President wants your pickle, you put your pickle on the President's plate.

Fark that.  It's my pickle.  If he wants it he's going to have to trade me some of his fries just like everybody else.

I like you when you're drunk!


Too bad I'm sober and at work
 
2014-04-03 05:28:45 PM  

vernonFL: tricycleracer: vernonFL: Ruebenghazi 4/3/14

Never forget.

Nice.  I can't believe it took this long.

Yeah i actually had to quick scroll and look through every comment to make sure it hadnt been posted before, and I was kinda shocked that it hadn't been.


oh don't let this guy find out that someone has managed to make a connection between Benghazi and Obama eating a Reuben... he'll have that in his next video... along with the Chile earthquake, eqyptian heiroglyphs, google earth maps, the rapture, scooby and scrapy doo... and Ft Hood...

Part 2. FT Hood to Benghazi Illuminati Freemason Symbolism. NWO
 
2014-04-03 05:35:40 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Katolu: Smeggy Smurf: Sin_City_Superhero: If the President wants your pickle, you put your pickle on the President's plate.

Fark that.  It's my pickle.  If he wants it he's going to have to trade me some of his fries just like everybody else.

I like you when you're drunk!

Too bad I'm sober and at work


Oh, damn. Drunk at work is fun however. Makes co-workers almost tolerable. Especially those Tech. Writers.
 
2014-04-03 05:47:56 PM  

Carn: Brick-House: I wish he would stop sharing my tax dollars with those who will NOT support themselves.

Injured military vets?


Red staters on welfare.

9 of the 10 poorest states are Republican
 
2014-04-03 05:49:46 PM  
It was a good speech over all. This particular story was pretty funny.
 
2014-04-03 05:51:27 PM  

Katolu: Smeggy Smurf: Katolu: Smeggy Smurf: Sin_City_Superhero: If the President wants your pickle, you put your pickle on the President's plate.

Fark that.  It's my pickle.  If he wants it he's going to have to trade me some of his fries just like everybody else.

I like you when you're drunk!

Too bad I'm sober and at work

Oh, damn. Drunk at work is fun however. Makes co-workers almost tolerable. Especially those Tech. Writers.


I could use a good drunk.  So far this week I've done about 6 hours of actual work.  The rest has been just sitting here waiting for the client to make a decision.
 
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