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(WTSP)   Woman 'taken' by large shark in Australia. Crikey   (wtsp.com) divider line 49
    More: Strange, Australia, sharks  
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5730 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2014 at 12:59 PM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-03 10:03:00 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-03 11:07:15 AM  
"If you let my grandmother go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you."

content.internetvideoarchive.com

"But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will hook you."
 
2014-04-03 11:29:17 AM  
Candy gram...
 
2014-04-03 01:01:07 PM  

naughtyrev: [i.imgur.com image 260x352]


Came here for this.  Glad to see it was the boobies.
 
2014-04-03 01:02:21 PM  
Why would anyone go in the water in Australia?  Between great whites, invisible killer jellyfish and drop bears waiting for you on the way back to your car, the chances of you surviving a beach encounter are too low for my taste
 
2014-04-03 01:03:08 PM  
Call Quint. He has a particular set of skills...
 
2014-04-03 01:04:22 PM  

LandOfChocolate: Why would anyone go in the water in Australia?  Between great whites, invisible killer jellyfish and drop bears waiting for you on the way back to your car, the chances of you surviving a beach encounter are too low for my taste


Don't forget about the saltys.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-04-03 01:05:10 PM  

darwinpolice: naughtyrev: [i.imgur.com image 260x352]

Came here for this.  Glad to see it was the boobies.


yeah.. one of the rare occasions when the filter actually makes the post better...
 
2014-04-03 01:05:20 PM  
Nice image slideshow of a GIS for the word 'shark'.
 
2014-04-03 01:06:15 PM  

scottydoesntknow: "If you let my grandmother go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you."

[content.internetvideoarchive.com image 320x240]

"But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will hook you."

Came here for this.

darwinpolice: naughtyrev: [i.imgur.com image 260x352]

Came here for this.  Glad to see it was the boobies.

Boobies indeed.
 
2014-04-03 01:08:01 PM  
Everyone sing along

Link
 
2014-04-03 01:08:13 PM  
Once you go shark, you never go back
 
2014-04-03 01:10:24 PM  

LandOfChocolate: Why would anyone go in the water in Australia?  Between great whites, invisible killer jellyfish and drop bears waiting for you on the way back to your car, the chances of you surviving a beach encounter are too low for my taste


^ This.
 
2014-04-03 01:11:03 PM  
♪ ♩ ♫ ♬ The shark takes the wife. The shark takes the wife. Hi-ho the merry-o the shark takes the wife ♪ ♩ ♫ ♬
♪ ♩ ♫ ♬ The Quint takes the Orca. The Quint takes the Orca. Hi-ho the merry-o the Quint takes the Orca ♪ ♩ ♫ ♬
♪ ♩ ♫ ♬ The shark takes the Quint. The shark takes the Quint. Hi-ho the merry-o the shark takes the Quint ♪ ♩ ♫ ♬
♪ ♩ ♫ ♬ The Brody takes the shark. The Brody takes the shark. Hi-ho the merry-o the Brody takes the shark ♪ ♩ ♫ ♬
♪ ♩ ♫ ♬ The Hooper takes the Brody. The Hooper takes the Brody. Hi-ho the merry-o the Hooper takes the Body ♪ ♩ ♫ ♬
♪ ♩ ♫ ♬ The Ellen stands alone. The Ellen stands alone. Hi-ho the merry-o the Ellen stands alone. ♪ ♩ ♫ ♬
 
2014-04-03 01:11:10 PM  
This never happened when Hitler was in charge.
 
2014-04-03 01:13:52 PM  
I wonder if it was her time?
 
2014-04-03 01:14:04 PM  
So does taken sound better than eaten?
/one reason I will never go in the ocean
 
2014-04-03 01:15:36 PM  
Why is this surprising?  A small shark would have had to leave part.  It's a simple matter of mass.
 
2014-04-03 01:15:46 PM  

scottydoesntknow: "If you let my grandmother go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you."



"But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will hook you."


Done in two, unless anyone else has a better parody
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-04-03 01:15:50 PM  

drumhellar: This never happened when Hitler was in charge.


The trains ran on time, too.
 
2014-04-03 01:16:37 PM  
Taken?

Like... from behind?

/dnrtfa
 
2014-04-03 01:16:37 PM  

LandOfChocolate: Why would anyone go in the water in Australia?  Between great whites, invisible killer jellyfish and drop bears waiting for you on the way back to your car, the chances of you surviving a beach encounter are too low for my taste


Yep.... Australia has more critters in and around that can kill you quick.
 
2014-04-03 01:16:53 PM  
The Motherfarking Pterodactyl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHpDPuh8A2Q
 
2014-04-03 01:18:43 PM  

scottydoesntknow: "If you let my grandmother go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you."

[content.internetvideoarchive.com image 320x240]

"But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will hook you."


I have a very unique set of rods and reels... and various baiting techniques...

www.underwatertimes.com
 
2014-04-03 01:20:38 PM  
Raped by dolphins, now sharks.  I hope it's manatees next so that "Woman gets raped by Huge Manatee" gets spoken on the news.  Well I don't actually hope a woman gets raped, it can be a man, that's fine.
 
2014-04-03 01:21:09 PM  

Evil Mackerel: LandOfChocolate: Why would anyone go in the water in Australia?  Between great whites, invisible killer jellyfish and drop bears waiting for you on the way back to your car, the chances of you surviving a beach encounter are too low for my taste

Don't forget about the saltys.


I would biatch-slap and turn into a pet any drop bear that got in my way, I would then offer said pet to any salty that glanced in my direction.

Salties?  yeah, fark you.  Never get off the plane.

news.nationalgeographic.com 2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-03 01:21:49 PM  

scottydoesntknow: "If you let my grandmother go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you."

[content.internetvideoarchive.com image 320x240]

"But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will hook you."


This should have been the end of the thread.
 
2014-04-03 01:22:21 PM  

scottydoesntknow: "If you let my grandmother go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you."

[content.internetvideoarchive.com image 320x240]

"But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will hook you."


Just like roaches and lawyers, millions exist.
pbfcomics.com
 
2014-04-03 01:22:28 PM  
What's with the ' ' around taken?

They're doing it in the article too, not just the Fark headline stretching for beastiality humor. We'd probably say "taken away" here in the states but taken seems acceptable without the quotes.
 
2014-04-03 01:27:18 PM  
So the score that day was 273,973*:1  Humans v. Sharks.

That said, I hate sharks. I couldn't swim in my back yard lake after Jaws came out.

*Sharkproject.org's estimate of sharks killed per day.
 
2014-04-03 01:28:36 PM  

LandOfChocolate: Why would anyone go in the water in Australia?  Between great whites, invisible killer jellyfish and drop bears waiting for you on the way back to your car, the chances of you surviving a beach encounter are too low for my taste


My question is why don't they have pools at the beach instead!  Only half kidding
 
2014-04-03 01:34:16 PM  
when she complained and headed back to shore

I want to know what she complained  about. Maybe a headache? A shark attached to he leg? What?
 
2014-04-03 01:45:46 PM  

abhorrent1: when she complained and headed back to shore

I want to know what she complained  about. Maybe a headache? A shark attached to he leg? What?



CRAMPS!!!
 
2014-04-03 01:47:18 PM  
surftherenow.com
 
2014-04-03 01:48:10 PM  
Stupid subby, scroll down on the main page, they found her and apparently some folks are pissed that she is spooning with said shark..
 
2014-04-03 01:50:23 PM  
For me, the comedy gold was the question asked in the article.  Who expects to get killed by a shark?  People who swim in the ocean, at least as of now.
 
2014-04-03 02:01:18 PM  
"You cull hundreds of us, we take one of yours. It's the Austrailia way"
 
2014-04-03 02:03:10 PM  

Kevin Lomax: What's with the ' ' around taken?

They're doing it in the article too, not just the Fark headline stretching for beastiality humor. We'd probably say "taken away" here in the states but taken seems acceptable without the quotes.


Because it's slang for eaten/killed/etc.?

My personal favorite quote in the article is: "Cancer, heart attacks -- those are all things we fear but expect, but who gets taken by a shark?"

In Australia? Seriously?  You really felt the need to ask that question?
 
2014-04-03 02:11:50 PM  

crzybtch: LandOfChocolate: Why would anyone go in the water in Australia?  Between great whites, invisible killer jellyfish and drop bears waiting for you on the way back to your car, the chances of you surviving a beach encounter are too low for my taste

My question is why don't they have pools at the beach instead!  Only half kidding


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/21/worlds-largest-outdoor-pool _n _1532709.html
 
2014-04-03 02:12:22 PM  

meathome: Kevin Lomax: What's with the ' ' around taken?

They're doing it in the article too, not just the Fark headline stretching for beastiality humor. We'd probably say "taken away" here in the states but taken seems acceptable without the quotes.

Because it's slang for eaten/killed/etc.?

My personal favorite quote in the article is: "Cancer, heart attacks -- those are all things we fear but expect, but who gets taken by a shark?"

In Australia? Seriously?  You really felt the need to ask that question?


I think it's because there's no evidence she was eaten. You'd think blood in the water would be a big tell, but they said there wasn't anything
Of course, if search and rescue is anything like in America, they didn't even look for a couple hours anyway
 
2014-04-03 02:16:41 PM  
images.intomobile.com
 
2014-04-03 02:29:06 PM  

meathome: Kevin Lomax: What's with the ' ' around taken?

They're doing it in the article too, not just the Fark headline stretching for beastiality humor. We'd probably say "taken away" here in the states but taken seems acceptable without the quotes.

Because it's slang for eaten/killed/etc.?

My personal favorite quote in the article is: "Cancer, heart attacks -- those are all things we fear but expect, but who gets taken by a shark?"

In Australia? Seriously?  You really felt the need to ask that question?


I thought the leading cause of death in Australia was being fatally stung by a large venomous insect whilst being simultaneously swallowed and digested by a giant snake, with sharks a distance eighth.
 
2014-04-03 02:35:12 PM  
I shower every day, I don't need to be in any more water than that.
 
2014-04-03 04:54:35 PM  
Sheely's OK, right?

s14.postimg.org

/it's all that matters
 
2014-04-03 05:03:51 PM  
From the (admittedly sparse) details in the article, and a quick peek on Google Maps, I'm guessing a bull shark. 11 feet is within their size range, they're known to attack humans, and Tathra is next to a river mouth, which are known to attract bull sharks.

That is, assuming the shark actually attacked her. There's no mention of blood, which a shark attack would have produced, and only one witness said they saw a shark attacking something that MIGHT have been the granny. There are plenty of other things in Australian waters that could pretty easily kill a human, let alone an elderly one.
 
2014-04-03 05:06:42 PM  

boyvoyeur: Sheely's OK, right?

[s14.postimg.org image 400x345]

/it's all that matters


oy, her little dance warmed me up, too
 
2014-04-03 05:30:18 PM  

boyvoyeur: Sheely's OK, right?

[s14.postimg.org image 400x345]

/it's all that matters


img.fark.net
 
2014-04-03 05:33:30 PM  
Christ on a crutch, do I have to do everything myself around here?
img.fark.net
 
2014-04-03 06:35:53 PM  
FTA:  "beach closed until they do a safety assessment"

Lemme help ya out with that assessment, guys...
 
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